After a few days of practically falling asleep the second Bill walked in the door in the evenings from exhaustion, I decided that it was time I figure out how to get our non-napping baby boy to nap, so that I can also nap for a bit each day. Sure, he falls asleep while nursing or in the Ergo, but the second I try to lay him ever so gently into his Pack and Play, his eyes bolt open. Sometimes, he even smiles at me, which makes it impossible to leave him there. But! He has to nap. Other people’s babies nap. Their babies nap, they have clean houses and time to style their hair. If I can get him to nap, then I can nap and when I’m well rested I can clean my house and perhaps even prepare a meal for my husband. All while having styled hair and lipstick on, of course.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child was recommended to us by a colleague of Bill’s and On Becoming Babywise magically appeared in the mail one day (we really have no idea who sent this to us) so I decided to crack them open to see what they said about naps.

First Learning: I have likely already ruined my child, for I should have been sleep training him from the very beginning.

Second Learning: I’m a horrible mother.

Third Learning: I was supposed to read this before he arrived, wasn’t I?

The books don’t say this of course, but I can read between the lines. Babies who don’t nap grow up to lead horrible existences. And, ideally I WOULD have read these books before he arrived. But, I was busy reading about what my body was doing, how to manage pain during labor and re-create a womb like experience for his “Fourth Trimester.” Also, I was working up until my 39th week and trying to spend as much alone time with my husband as possible. There really wasn’t time for another book.

Anyway, Henry’s wee little brain is supposed to develop while he’s resting and according to the books, I’m not allowing him enough time to develop. Horrible mother, right? After thinking “WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO ME LIKE THIS?” while turning the pages, I decided to seek advice from actual moms rather than condescending books and finally attended a New Moms Group at the hospital where I delivered. I’ve been meaning to go for a few weeks, but it’s so easy to find an excuse NOT to venture out with a newborn baby. And honestly, a couple of times I just forgot, which is also very easy to do when you have a newborn baby.

I’m so glad I went. There were 15-20 mommies and babies in the room. And, almost every single one of them said that they had trouble getting their babies to nap. Two things stuck in my head from this group. One lady said, “Don’t try to solve something until it becomes a problem.” So, if he only naps in his swing, it’s not a problem until it’s dangerous for him to be in his swing (as I write this, he’s sleeping in his swing). And, another gal said, “Take the advice that you’re given and just see what works for you.”

And, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to try and get some naps in during the day, they might be in the swing or his bouncer and while he does that, I’m going to try to shut my eyes a bit. And, maybe one of these days I won’t need a 5 o’clock cat nap.

 

P.S. Someone should really look into making ONE book about baby sleep and soothing and pain management and nursing, etc.

…that the first time I peed post childbirth that I’d have an audience.
…how “normal” I’d feel immediately after giving birth. Heartburn? GONE!
…that I’d be doing baby laundry EVERY single day.
…just how time consuming breastfeeding is.
…how well I’d get at doing things with one hand.
…how well I’d be able to function on very little sleep.
…how happy it would make me to see my husband holding our child.
…how many of our conversations would revolve around a certain someone’s bodily functions.
…how much it would mean to me to see how much other people love my son.
…how in love I’d be with this little guy. He is amazing.

 

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

I had a baby! Also, I visited Boston and Miami.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I have always thought resolutions were kind of dumb, as we should strive to make ourselves better all the time, so I didn’t have any for last year. This year, I’d like to be skinnier, be more patient and make my house prettier and more organized.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Me, and the entire internet.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

Costa Rica, on our “NOT A BABYMOON vacation this summer. It was delightful.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you didn’t have in 2011?

Time to just “be.” I feel like we spent most of the year doing projects.

7. What dates from 2011 will be etched upon your memory, and why?

11.11.11, the day my son was born. And, February 1st, the date of my last menstrual period, which I had to tell everyone and their mother during my pregnancy.

8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?

Giving birth to my baby! (ARE YOU SENSING A THEME HERE?) And, speaking at a digital marketing conference, while 35 weeks pregnant!

9. What was your biggest failure?

I got really mad about a few things. I need to be less of a brat.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Same as last year, kidney stones! But, this time while I was 9 months pregnant. It was a DELIGHT and also kind of scary as there was a possibility that I’d be admitted to the hospital for pain control. Luckily, they passed without too much pain.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Hmmm. Bill got a new car, which I love. Is it lame to say that I really, really love our stroller?

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I’m going to have to go with Bill again. He’s so patient and adorable with Henry. And, he’s patient with me. And, I’ve been difficult.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Hmmm. Not sure.

14. Where did most your money go?

Baby Gear. More landscaping.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Getting Pregnant. Being Pregnant. Giving Birth. Finding out after 41 weeks that we had a little boy in there!

16. What song will always remind you of 2011?

Joshua Radin’s Road to Ride On

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) happier

b) thinner, but much squishier

c) richer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Slept. I MISS YOU, SLEEP!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying about what other people are doing.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

We traveled to the Oregon Coast to spend Christmas with my in-laws and my father (separately). We packed our entire house for this trip and we were only gone 36 hours. I can’t imagine how much stuff we’ll bring for a longer trip. We came home Christmas night and had grand plans to cook dinner and spend time together, but instead we ate a frozen pizza and fell asleep on the couch. It was perfect. I’m not even kidding.

Christmas was delightful. One of the best things about being a parent (so far) is seeing how much other people love Henry. Sure, we think he’s great (because he is), but seeing that other people think he’s great makes my heart burst.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?

Yes, with a little baby boy. Also, more in love with my husband. Seeing him as a father is a wonderful, wonderful thing.

22. What was your favorite TV program?

The Good Wife and Revenge.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I’m not going to say I hate this person, but I strongly dislike someone that has taken up residence in our lives. Hopefully this person goes away before too long.

24. What was the best book you read?

This Is Where I Leave You by Jonathan Tropper.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I’m ridiculously lame and did not discover any new music. I continue to love the Decemberists. We saw them live twice this year.

26. What did you want and get?

A baby! Also, I got Christian Louboutins for Christmas from Bill. Which is perhaps the most unpractical gift for the mother of a newborn, but oh, I love them so.

27. What did you want and not get?

I was hoping this was the year we’d remodel our kitchen and downstairs bathroom. Hopefully one of these will happen in 2012.

28. What was your favorite film of 2011?

I can’t remember if I went to any movies this year. PATHETIC. I did get Coco Before Chanel from Netflix recently and I really loved it.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 33 on December 10th. I got my hair cut and went to dinner with Bill and Henry. I enjoyed my very first post-pregnancy glass of wine and it was delightful. I then spent the rest of the night obsessing over whether or not my son was drunk via my breast milk. (I waited over 3 hours before nursing him, by the way)

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

More energy. I was a pretty exhausted pregnant lady, and I’m pretty exhausted now. But, it’s all worth it.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept of 2011?

Stretchy fabrics.

32. What kept you sane?

Girlfriends. Both inside and outside of the computer. Also, my husband.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

I was pretty annoyed with how the City of Portland handled the entire Occupy Portland protest.

34. Who did you miss?

I really missed my Grandma this year. She would have been so excited to meet Henry.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

This guy!

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. It’s harder than it sounds, but it’s a very good idea.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

From answer #16, Joshua Radin’s Road to Ride On, I doubt he’s talking about having a baby, but the lyrics kind of sum up our year.

We’ve been waiting,
anticipating your arrival.
Turn the light on,
give us road to ride on
help ensure survival
now there’s a new day,
sing with us a new way
or be left behind.
You say, someday
we’ll know where to go,
but we don’t know
I’m always the last one,
never ready for the fast ones,
well it’s time to change
so we make our plans,
set our sites on a new land
one that’s kind of strange.