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The Satirical Political Report

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January 12th, 2012

The Secret to Ron Paul’s Support Among College Students

“IT’S REALLY HIS LIBERTARIAN VIEWS ON DRUGS: IF YOU CAN GET FUCKED UP ENOUGH, YOU REALLY DON’T CARE IF RON PAUL FUCKS UP CIVILIZATION.

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Mark Karlin on another racist rightwinger: MSNBC Should Finally Drop Kick “Brown Shirt” Pat Buchanan.

Lisa Casey on Cher in the Supreme Court.

Recommended Reads, at BartCopE!

January 10th, 2012

New Hampshire Hamlet of Dixville Notch Goes For Punxsutawney PAUL

 

“LOOKS LIKE THE VOTERS HAVE SPOKEN: AT LEAST SIX MORE WEEKS OF A CRAZY LIBERTARIAN IN THIS CAMPAIGN WITH HIS HEAD IN THE SAND AS TO CORPORATE ABUSES.”

January 9th, 2012

Riddle: What Happens to a Chinese-Speaking, Mormon GOP Candidate, Who Worked for Obama

“LOOKS LIKE I’M NOW THE HUNTED … INSTEAD OF THE HUNTSMAN.”

January 8th, 2012

GOP Challengers Explain Why They Failed to Attack Romney in New Hampshire Debate

“IT’S THE MAIN LESSON WE LEARNED FROM GEORGE W. BUSH: CONCENTRATE YOUR ATTACK ON THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T REPRESENT A THREAT TO YOU.”

January 7th, 2012

GOP Debates Head Up Big Wild CANARD Weekend

GIVEN THEIR HISTORY, LOOKS LIKE WE CAN EXPECT A LOT OF FUMBLES, REPEATED RUNS OUT OF BOUNDS TO GET TO OBAMA, AND SOME DESPERATION HAIL MARYS AND UNSPORTSMANLIKE CONDUCT BY TEAM NEWT.”

January 6th, 2012

Rick Santorum Proposes Sweater Vests as Sole Means of Birth Control

“EVEN THE POPE WOULD APPROVE THIS NATURAL METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL   — IT MAKES YOU LOOK SO PATHETIC AND HOMELY … THAT YOU’LL NEVER GET LAID.”

Story here.

January 5th, 2012

Mitt’s Peace Overture to Newt Backfires

“I REALLY DON’T KNOW WHY HE GOT QUITE SO UPSET. ALL I DID WAS OFFER HIM A RIDE  … ON THE TOP OF MY CAMPAIGN BUS.”

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More GOP Follies: BuzzFlash’s Mark Karlin with Eric Cantor’s Lies on Reagan’s Tax Hikes.

January 2nd, 2012

Dan Savage Recoils at Notion of Surging Santorum as ‘Flavor of the Month’

“BRO, I’M GAY, BUT I’M NOT SICK.”


January 1st, 2012

GOP Candidates Challenge Birth Certificate of 2012 New Year’s Baby

“IT’S OBVIOUS JUST FROM THE WAY HE DRESSES, THAT HE COMES STRAIGHT OUT OF THE TRADITIONS OF THE BUSHMEN OF THE KALAHARI.”

December 31st, 2011

Mitt Romney Takes ‘Issue’ With TIME Magazine: ‘CORPORATIONS Should Be Person of the Year’

“WHY DOES THE LIBERAL MEDIA INSIST ON IDOLIZING  THOSE WHO MAINTAIN THEIR PRINCIPLES EVEN UNDER FIRE, WHEN THE CORPORATIONS HAVE FIGURED OUT THE GOAL IS TO DITCH ALL PRINCIPLES IN FAVOR OF FIRING EVERYONE IN SIGHT.

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