I’m A Jackass

Clumsy and Dumb. No Really, I Am.

February 16, 2012 By Heather 6 Comments

I’m pretty good at embarrassing myself. I don’t mind being goofy, or I don’t mind being self deprecating. Because I certainly want to be the first person to make fun of me. I like to think that I hone conspicuous personal embarrassment as a fine artisan would whittle a duck from a bar of soap. [...]

Filed Under: Baby Making, I'm A Jackass, Please Send Help, Whining

Sometimes, I Am A 16 Year Old Boy

January 30, 2012 By Heather 7 Comments

This is, perhaps, one of those things I shouldn’t really be proud of. It should certainly be one of those things I SHOULDN’T write about on the internet. But as you know, I just can’t help it. I do embarrassing or dumb shit and immediately think, “Ooh, I need to tell the internet all about [...]

Filed Under: I'm A Jackass

I’m Bad At Giving Directions

October 4, 2011 By Heather 5 Comments

We’ve been living in Astoria, Oregon for over five months now. Before we moved here, we visited many times over the course of a few years. We like it here. It’s not a big town, you can’t really get lost. There are some bizarre starts and stops to streets, where a road might dead end [...]

Filed Under: I'm A Jackass, This Actually Happened

Misshapen Crochet Projects As A Weak Ass Metaphor For Life In General

September 30, 2011 By Heather 10 Comments

I’ve been working on a crochet blanket for a couple of years. Wait, wait, before you leave, this isn’t just a post about a crochet blanket. There’s some deep fricken insight coming up. Right. So, as with many big crochet projects, I started and stopped a couple times before I settled on a pattern and [...]

Filed Under: Deep Thoughts, Goddammit, I'm A Jackass, This Actually Happened

I’m Not Sure What We Were Thinking

September 21, 2011 By Heather 1 Comment

Today is Tuesday. When I woke up this morning, I had no designs to hike to the top of Saddle Mountain. But somehow, that’s what we did. It was a beautiful day. About twelve hours ago, I said, “We should go on a drive. Let’s go to Saddle Mountain.” And so we did. That was [...]

Filed Under: Drawingks, I'm A Jackass, Please Send Help

The Dumbest Way To Almost Break Your Toe

July 1, 2011 By Heather 9 Comments

I think I could maybe write a whole blog about grocery store consumerism. I have some of my more profound insights about our society while shopping for noodles and kitty litter. I believe that being thoughtful in the grocery store is exactly what retailers don’t want. I think they want us softened up by the [...]

Filed Under: Consumerism, Greatest Hits, I'm A Jackass, Ranty Pants, Stuff I Don't Like, This Actually Happened

Schrödinger’s Cholesterol

October 22, 2010 By Heather 3 Comments

I got a note from my doctor’s office that they have an unfulfilled request for a lipid test. I know just what this is for. My doctor ordered it months ago. But I’m hesitant to go in for this test. At the beginning of the year, I went in for a slew of doctor and [...]

Filed Under: Goddammit, I'm A Jackass, Neurosis

Driving Without Directions

March 17, 2010 By Heather 3 Comments

I can’t be the only one to do this. I hop in the car to drive someplace unfamiliar and forget to get detailed directions. Or maybe I drove somewhere once a long time ago and I vaguely remember how to get there. I seem to do this remarkably often. I don’t realize I don’t know [...]

Filed Under: I'm A Jackass, Transitions

Mind If I Stare?

January 6, 2010 By Heather 6 Comments

Okay, if you have a bruise or a cut or a gaping wound on your face, I will most likely stare at it. I will also likely want to know what happened. I don’t mean to be rude. I feel as though an injury is a curious thing and can withstand a little inquiry. And [...]

Filed Under: I'm A Jackass

Whew! That Was Fun!

August 23, 2009 By Heather 3 Comments

It turns out, when you accidentally delete your blog database, it only takes five hours of freaking out to fix it! Awesome! But so far, all the little issues I was having with comments not showing up in my backend (and boy, does my backend get comments) and other various issues seems to be gone. [...]

Filed Under: Awesome!, I'm A Jackass