January 10, 2012
Work Hard, It Pays Off -- But Not For You
Please read the whole thing, it just nails what today's economy is about: All Of Area Man's Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer | The Onion,
Following seven straight years of long hours at the office and sacrificed weekends and holidays, all of account manager Sam Hemstead's hard work and single-minded devotion to Pinnacle Automotive Insurance has finally paid off for CEO Charles Pardahee, Pardahee said Friday.... The stress-related physical and psychological tolls for Hemstead, 34, have been high, but the hypertension, weight-gain, and crippling migraine headaches he has suffered due to his rigorous work schedule have been worth the rewards he has reaped for his employer, Pardahee confirmed.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:17 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
December 24, 2011
Homo for the Holidays - "Born this Way"
Just wow:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 5:19 PM | Comments (1) | Link Cosmos
December 4, 2011
When They Come For You
Here is what Occupy Melbourne did when the police came to clear out the tents: (hysterically funny)
VIDEO- Mock and awe: #OccupyMelbourne’s attack of the Tent Monsters! | The Political Carnival
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:12 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 11, 2011
Amish Haircut Attacks - What Did You Expect?
OK, there is an Amish cult that is attacking traditional Amish and cutting their hair. Here's the thing, the cult is run by a guy name MULLET. What else would you expect from a guy with the name Mullet? See Ohio Sheriff: Latest Amish Haircutting Victim Attacked By His Son | TPMMuckraker
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:59 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 18, 2011
Common Sense Jesus
Common Sense Jesus says: Don't upset the money changers. They are the job creators, after all.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:37 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
September 23, 2011
I Can Get You Your Money Back!
Q I played the sweepstakes I received in the mail and won $2-3 million and a car. They wanted me to pay for insurance and cover delivery charges. I paid $300 to these people. Then they said they need another $300. Then they said that $50 would be the last payment. I paid over $600. OK. Maybe I'm stupid, but I played, and they said that I won. I have $9.24 left in the bank.
I can get you your money back. It will only cost you $9.24.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:35 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
September 10, 2011
Sing-Along-Song (updated)
Tar balls:
In honor of the song, here is SNL's "Schweddy Balls": (Note, Ben & Jerry's new flavor for a limited time)
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:14 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 6, 2011
Stock Market
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:06 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
July 27, 2011
Lee Camp: "This Video Is For Rich People Only"
"This Video Is For Rich People Only"
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:04 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
June 10, 2011
You Gotta See This!
Progressive Congress has a contest of people sending videos of dramatic readings of Newt's press release. You just have to see them! Go to The Big Newton Video Contest. You can even vote on the best one.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:30 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
May 27, 2011
Lee Camp's Moments of Clarity
The guy is brilliant and funny and right, more here: http://www.youtube.com/user/LeeCamp2
Climate Change Deniers:
Manipulation:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:10 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
April 18, 2011
"A Strong Smell Of Pee"
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:47 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
December 24, 2010
Fox News Attacks Rudolph As Communist
Is this a joke? Paul Abrams: Fox Slams :Rudolph/Reindeer" Song for Promoting Social Justice
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:42 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 19, 2010
Absolutely MUST-SEE Ad
You have to see this ad. How close is it to the Republicans in your own state?
Sometimes it sounds like they are reading from a script, because they are.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:19 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
June 30, 2010
Watch Alan Grayson Give One Of The Best
Watch Alan Grayson give one of the best presentations of reasons to vote for progressives.
And the rubber chicken.
Skip to 9:57. Seriously, drag the slider until the time is 9:57. Worth it.
This was at the America's Future Now conference earlier in June. There is more video on the site.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:06 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
March 4, 2010
Communist In The White House!
The House of Substance: A Nut:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:28 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
January 22, 2010
What DC Dem Leaders Need
Beer commercial lessons for Washington Democratic leadership:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:09 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
December 22, 2009
New Cartoon
By Sudeep
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:16 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 22, 2009
SNL Mocks Obama ... Except
This is really funny, except it was Bush, not Obama, who borrowed all that money from China, and who bailed out the banksters.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 5:45 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 16, 2009
Republicans
They've got a Rep for that:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:29 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
September 15, 2009
Billionaires For Wealthcare
Sing along:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:43 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
September 3, 2009
A Wonderful Line
The crazies have a political party, a cable news network, and a loud, activist base. They're mad as hell and they're not going to take their medications anymore.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:30 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 26, 2009
Goldfellas
For those who need some background: Goldman Sachs announces they plan to give out record bonuses this year, despite taking billions in TARP money from the Fed to "survive," soaring unemployment and companies collapsing coast-to-coast. In his memo, Goldman CEO Lloyd Blankfein tells his employees to keep a low profile and not to spend lavishly when they get their massive bonuses!Comedian Matt Rittberg creates a hilarious spoof of "Goodfellas" based on Goldman Sachs outrageous compensation. Lloyd Blankfein, Goldman's CEO, sent out a memo recently telling his top employees not to buy anything flashy with their bonuses. Remind anyone else of the scene from Goodfellas where De Niro tells his gang the same thing after the big heist?
Written and Directed by Matt Rittberg
Director of Photography - Matt KohnStarring:
JL Cauvin
Nick Turner
Matt Rittberg
Barry Rothbart
Laura Prangley
Aimee G
Sam Russell-Guliver
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:54 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 8, 2009
Death Panels Prove Barack Obama Murdered Vince Foster
The mystery is solved: Barack Obama murdered Vince Foster.
It should have been obvious all along. Of course Hillary could not have murdered Vince Foster in a secret "love nest" apartment. She had her agent Barack Obama do it for her. And Barack Obama put Vince Foster's body into the trunk of a car and drove it to the park where it was "found".
Barack Obama was also secretly smuggling cocaine from an airstrip in Arkansas. He held up traffic at the LA Airport while he got a $500 haircut. He fired the people in the Travel Office so he could give the job to a cousin. He sold plots in Arlington National Cemetery. He accepted secret money from China and transferred out nuclear secrets to the Chinese government.
Barack Obama betrayed us at Yalta.
Now Barack Hussein Obama is setting up Death Panels. This is the whole purpose, the culmination of the plan, the final chapter of health insurance reform, of killing Vince Foster, of smuggling cocaine and selling cemetery plots and taking over the travel office and selling nuclear secrets to China and engaging in the Whitewater scheme and shredding the Rose Law Firm files and crossing the border during the Korean War, and putting the microfilm in the pumpkin: It was, along with George Soros the Jew and other Hell-Demons, to finance the takeover so he could finally set up Death Panels across the country where the true American Patriots will be tried and summarily executed so that the Socialist Elders of the demon-gogs could ARISE and control our minds and sell our ports, and sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids, and put Big Government Labor Bosses over the Silent Majority when he hypnotized the weak from his Pergamon Altar Nazi Pulpit Greek columns in Denver! It is OBVIOS!
Barack Obama has a lot to answer for.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:40 PM | Comments (1) | Link Cosmos
July 11, 2009
Yeah, Right
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:05 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
June 27, 2009
Markos' Letter From Republican Congressman
Markos of DailyKos got a letter, apparently from a Republican Congressman. Go have a read.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:42 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
June 18, 2009
So Hard For Republicans
Oh the poor Republicans and their victimization fetish. Here's the latest: a Republican Twittered that the struggle of the Iranian people is just like the heroic struggle of the Republicans against the Democrats.
People are responding in sympathy. Some examples:
My neighbor stopped me to talk today. Now I know what it is like to be questioned by the Basij!I got a splinter in my hand today. Felt just like Jesus getting nailed to the cross.
Walked out onto Constitution Ave in D.C. and was almost hit by a taxi. Reminded me of Tienanmen Square.
ran through the sprinklers this morning, claimed solidarity with victims of Hurricane Katrina
Had to move all my stuff to a new office w/o a corner view. Now i know what the Trail of Tears was like.
It gets better. Go see: Pete Hoekstra Is A Meme
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:18 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
April 12, 2009
Bark Was Better
Obama girls name their new puppy 'Bo'
I thought "Bark" was a better choice. "Bark Obama."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:42 AM | Comments (4) | Link Cosmos
March 16, 2009
Alert Level Rising
Go see: Vagabond Scholar: The Staggering Wealth Security Advisory System
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:26 AM | Comments (1) | Link Cosmos
January 30, 2009
Huh?
Why was I invited to a breeding diversity conference?
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:07 AM | Comments (1) | Link Cosmos
January 11, 2009
Relevant Again
Do you remember Odd Todd from the dot com crash, when everyone got laid off? He is relevant again. So go see:
Episode 1. From 2001, Laid-Off: A Day in the Life
Episode 2. Laid off Help Wanted
Posted by Dave Johnson at 5:08 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
January 4, 2009
It Was A Joke
My post the other day -- about the show Dallas, where they declared the entire previous season was a dream, and this causing the ruination of America -- that was a JOKE. Admittedly very dry humor but some people didn't get it and decided I wasn't funny, I was crazy.
It was a joke, OK? So can I get out of this facility now? Hello?
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:33 PM | Comments (2) | Link Cosmos
Uncle Jay Sings 2008
For more go to Uncle Jay Explains
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:47 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
January 3, 2009
Ruining America
I think the two things that ruined America were:
1) Gerald Ford pardoning Richard Nixon. This told the country that the elite are above the law, no matter how serious the crimes. It separated people from their government.
2) When Bobby died on Dallas, and then a whole season went by, and then they brought him back and said the whole previous year had been a dream. This told the country that double-duty suspension of disbelief can work. This led to the massive budget deficits, the stock bubble, housing bubble, increased fossil fuel use, obesity crisis, not banning tobacco products, deforestation, trade deficits and debt.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 2:22 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
December 3, 2008
Prop 8, The Musical
A bit late, but...
Credits: Conceived and Written (six weeks later than he shoulda) by-Marc Shaiman Directed and Staged by: Adam Shankman Produced by Adam Shankman, Marc Shaiman and Mike Farah Edited by Bradly Schulz and Drew Antzis Cast (in order of appearance) California Gays and The People That Love Them Jordan Ballard, Margaret Cho, Barrett Foa, J.B. Ghuman, John Hill, Andy Richter, Maya Rudolph, Rashad Naylor, Nicole Parker Proposition 8'ers and The People That Follow Them Prop 8 Leader- John C. Reilly Prop 8 Leader's #1 Wife- Allison Janney Prop 8 Leader's #2 Wife- Kathy Najimy Riffing Prop 8'er-Jenifer Lewis A Preacher- Craig Robinson Scary Catholic School Girls From Hell-Rashida Jones, Lake Bell, Sarah Chalke The Frightened Villagers Katharine "Kooks" Leonard, Seth Morris, Denise "Esi!" Piane, Lucian Piane, Richard Read, Seth Redford, Quinton Strack, Tate Taylor Jesus Christ Jack Black A Very Smart Fellow Neil Patrick Harris Piano Player Marc "Marc" Shaiman ---- Co-Choreographer: Anne "Mama" Fletcher Recorded and Mixed by Frank Wolfe & Greg Hayes Director of Photography: Michael Barrett Camera Operators: Jake Szymanski, Bradly Schulz and Drew Antzis Production designer: Nelson Coates Costume designer: Shanna Knecht Costume assistants: Leslie Schilling, Annalisa Adams, Elizabeth Abate Hair: Laura Sanchez Make-up: Shauna O'Toole, Atticuss Sharp Production sound: Bradford Craig Music editor: Lisa Jaime Music assistant: Brian Naguit Snacky: "Snacky" Special Thanks to Adam McKay for the nudge.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:43 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 27, 2008
The Rolls
We cooked this year. Dinner was at 2. At 9:19pm my wife suddenly remembered the rolls that had been warming in the oven.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:19 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 13, 2008
The Money Hole
"If you love America you throw money in its hole."
In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
If you are a patriot you will throw money down the money hole.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:48 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 10, 2008
Now It Can Be Revealed
OK whitey, now it can be revealed. Your life is about to get really horrible.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:46 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
November 2, 2008
Daft the Vote
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:38 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 31, 2008
McCain Robo-Call Script Ideas The Were Rejected
McCain's Rejected Robo-Call Scripts,
"Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama talks during movies. During a recent screening of The Dark Knight, Barack Obama irritated several pro-America patrons when he echoed the famous 'Why so serious?' line to his wife, Michelle, who hasn't always been proud of being an American, much like the Joker. ...and,
"Hello. I'm calling for John McCain and the RNC because you need to know that Barack Obama doesn't use his turn signal when he merges onto a freeway.There's much more, go read.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:45 PM | Comments (1) | Link Cosmos
October 30, 2008
REALLY Bad Hallowween Story
Here's a really really bad Halloween story for you: Smelling the Coffee: A Halloween Coffee Story
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:47 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 29, 2008
Wassup 2008
Do you remember the "Wassup" commercials? Here is a 2008 version:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:00 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 18, 2008
White Pride
Jesus' General: White Pride, Campaign Wide
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:41 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 17, 2008
A Call To Community
Christy at Firedoglake blogged about Obama's closing remarks to the Al Smith Dinner last night. Obama: Each Of Us Has The Responsibility Of Service In Our Communities, Especially Now. Please click through.
This video is the entire event, both McCain and Obama. Lots of great jokes. Obama's closing remarks are at 22:14:
Here is Christy's transcript of the closing remarks:
The fact that each October, in the closing weeks of a hard-fought campaign, people of all political persuasions can come to this dinner, and share a meal and honor the work of this foundation, underscores the reality that no matter what differences or divisions or arguments we are having right now -- we ultimately belong to something bigger and more lasting than a political party.We belong to a community. We share a country. We are all children of God.
And in this country, there are millions of fellow citizens, our brothers and sisters, who need us very much. Especially now. We are being battered by a very serious economic storm, and for many Americans it's only deepened the quiet storms they've been struggling through for years.
Beyond the walls of this hotel, on the streets of one the greatest cities in the wealthiest nation on earth, there are men and women and children who've fallen on hard times and hard luck. Who can't find work or even a job that pays enough to keep a roof over their heads. Some are hanging on just by a thread.
Scripture says God creates us for works of service. We are blessed to have so many organizations like this one, in the Catholic diocese that perform these acts of God every day. But each of us also have that responsibility. Each of us has that obligation. Especially now.
So, no matter who we are or what we do -- and what I believe is each of us in this room asks for, and hopes for and prays for enough strength and wisdom to do good and to seek justice, and play our small part in building a more hopeful and compassionate world for the generations that will follow.
Before Al Smith was a candidate who made history, he was a man who made a difference. A man who fought for many years to give Americans nothing more than a fair shake and a chance to succeed. And he touched the lives of hundreds of thousands, of millions as a result. Simply put, he helped people. And that's a distinction we can all aspire to. And we can all achieve.
Young or old, rich or poor, Democrat or Republican or Independent. And I have no doubt if we come together at this moment of crisis with this goal in mind, America will meet this challenge and weather this storm. And, in the words of Al Smith, "walk once more in eternal sunshine."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:37 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 15, 2008
Hilarious
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:27 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
October 9, 2008
McCain and Casinos
There are several stories circulating about McCain playing lots of craps at casinos. Here's one: Report: McCain Exploded With Rage During Gambling Outing
Here is a video of McCain exploding at a casino:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:25 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
September 6, 2008
Daily Show on McCain's Speech
You absolutely must watch this Daily Show with John Stewart segment on McCain's speech:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:40 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 30, 2008
A Heartbeat Away
Go see the pic: Jesus' General: A Heartbeat Away
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:49 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 19, 2008
Video Of Dumbass
This Darwin Awards candidate actually tried to kite surf in a tropical storm. See the results.
Kevin was on Fort Lauderdale beach when Fay's winds took the 26-year-old for a ride. Kearney, who was harnessed into his kite sail, couldn't break free when he was lifted into the air.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:56 AM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 14, 2008
Baracky II
Baracky I:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:55 PM | Comments (0) | Link Cosmos
August 3, 2008
Republican Party Hired To Sell Product For Oil Companies
The Republican Party's hiring itself out to the oil industry for this coordinated "Drill Now" campaign reminds me of an old joke. (I'll shorten it.)
Kentucky Fried Chicken comes to the Pope and says, "We'll give you $500,000 a year to change the Lord's Prayer to 'give us this day our daily fried chicken'." The Pope says, "No way." Then they offer $1 million. The Pope gives a long spiel about this is a sacred prayer, from God, etc. They give their final offer: $10 million a year.
The next day the Pope meets with his Cardinals and says, "The good news is I have brought us $10 million a year."
"The bad news is I lost the Wonder Bread account."
The other day I wrote,
This is a political party involving itself in a corporate product marketing campaign, for money. This "drill now" campaign is funded by oil companies, and is about giving them even more special government favors. It isn't a lot different from changing a stadium's name to "Enron Stadium" or Pac Bell park" etc.Your modern Republicans -- A political party reduced to hiring itself out to sell product!
This political campaign is in conjunction with an oil industry PR campaign to try to get the government to hand them even more drilling leases than the millions of acres they already have (and sit on without drilling). It came just as oil prices peaked and suggests that oil prices peaked in order to prime the public for this campaign.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:17 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
July 12, 2008
Right Wingnut Idiots
From PFAW's Right Wing Watch: The Dangers of Auto-Replace. Here's the story: The right-wingnut American Family Association's website runs AP news stories, but automatically replaces every appearance of the word "gay" with the word "homosexual." Go read about what happened.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
July 11, 2008
Stock Market
A couple of days ago I turned on CNBC to see what was happening on the stock market. About two minutes after I turned on the TV the market started dropping, and quickly dropped almost 100 points.
Today the market was down, recovered, and I turned on the TV to see what was going on. About a minute after I turned it on it started dropping again, wnd in five minutes was down about 50 points.
So here is my offer: $100,000.
For $100,000 I will give you private, advance warning before I turn on CNBC. Let me know.
But wait, there's more!
For an additional $100,000 I will tell you when I am about to buy a stock. There is no greater assurance that a stock will immediately lose half of its value than my purchasing that stock.
But wait, there's more!
If you place your order today, as a bonus gift I will also tell you when I am about to sell a stock! This is an extremely powerful tool! There is almost a 100% correlation between my selling a stock, and that stock recovering entirely to its yearly high, and continuing to rise to establish a new all-time high.
Hurry, this offer is only valid today.
BONUS OFFER -- I turned OFF CNBC and the stock market went from -225 to +6 in ten minutes.
Update - I turned it back on to see WTF? and it started dropping immediately, and is now down over 150 points again. So there is no doubt that I am responsible for all of this. My price just went up to $200,000.
On a serious note - this is entirely about rumors that the Fed is going to bail out more of the "too big to fail" crowd. Do you really want to be in a stock market that is held up only by rumors of who the government is going to bail out next? That's not a solid economic foundation for my investments.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 6, 2008
Prostitutes and Beer
The best place to spend your rebate check is on prostitutes and beer. Go read why: The Big Picture | Where Your Rebate Check Goes
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 30, 2008
Do It Live
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 17, 2008
A Good Laugh
If you want a good laugh and have a strong stomach go read the 2004 Republican Party Platform (NOTE - PDF document).
It really was just a collection of lies and misdirections. Really, read it with the hindsight of today to learn how this crowd uses propaganda to manipulate people.
See if you can count how many times it links Iraq with 9/11. It also says we invaded Iraq because they "refused to disarm."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 25, 2008
Mail I Get - Subprime Crisis Hits Japan
This came in the mail just now:
Sub-Prime Rate Problems hit JapanOuch.Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan.
In the last 7 days
* Origami Bank has folded,
* Sumo Bank has gone belly up and
* Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, and Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:07 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 11, 2008
Huckabee - Heh
It's hard to dislike this guy. Watch this:
And read this GREAT column today from David Sirota,
Stay Classy, Mike HuckabeeAND, is this ad brilliant, or what?
[. . .]
Recall that the media portrays Bush's alliance with the religious right as proof of his convictions. Huckabee's alliance with the same religious right is subtly cast as a sign of supposed ignorance. Bush's rhetorical gaffes are often painted as endearing — evidence that despite his silver-spoon pedigree, he is the authentic "average American man" thinking "in a common-sense way," as Republican commentator Peggy Noonan wrote. Huckabee? The Weekly Standard calls him "a village idiot" and a "rube," while Noonan derides him for "populist manipulation."Bush, you see, was always an aristocrat underneath the "windshield cowboy" veneer. He is the son of a president, a Skull-and-Bones man — ruling class all the way.
Huckabee, on the other hand, is a real-life regular guy. He views religion as more than just a convenient political cudgel, truly did pull himself "up from the bootstraps" — and his class grievances are personal. The well-heeled narcissists in the media and political Establishment are appalled. They see Huckabee as a country bumpkin getting uppity.
Democrats, you'd better be ready for what's coming. This is another Ronald Reagan. If we don't start stating progressive VALUES and the BENEFITS of progressive values, we're toast. No more lists of issues, like you're trying to buy groceries, please.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:27 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 2, 2008
Benny Lava (Updated)
My loonie bun is fine, Benny Lava!
Update -
Nipple Song
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 1, 2007
Are You A "Sex Addict?"
Is the bogeyman of "sexual addiction" scaring people out of having sex?No.
This has been another episode of simple answers to simple questions.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 24, 2007
The Ann Coulter Song
Perfected
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 19, 2007
Spineocrat
Spineocrat - is it right for you?
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 7, 2007
Disclaimer
What if the military had to run disclaimers in its ads, like the drug companies do?
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:39 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
August 29, 2007
Please Return the Watch
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
July 1, 2007
"Bunch Dumbasses" Poetry Slam
The other day the Drudge Report linked to Seeing the Forest, which prompted this e-mail:
Subject line: the fairness doctringNow the "bunch dumbass" comments are rolling in - and it is becoming poetic.you liberal are such hypocrits, you can't win the debate so you have to make laws to stop it. i guees Hugo Chaves would be proud. you liberals all pieces of shit who should be hung for treason. thank God we have republicans that love this country. you bunch dumbasses.
I received an e-mail asking if I really do "bunch dumbasses?"
So I propose a "bunch dumbasses" poetry/haiku contest. Entrants so far:
Time flies like an arrow, then bunch dumbasses.
There once was a wingnut named DumbassAnyone care to join in?
whose nickname was probably "Thumb-ass."
He couldn't read right
and the comments he'd write
show his reasoning skills were a morass.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:58 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Big Duh
Here's a big "Duh!" Key to a good marriage? Share housework.:
The percentage of Americans who consider children "very important" to a successful marriage has dropped sharply since 1990, and more now cite the sharing of household chores as pivotal, according to a sweeping new survey.[. . .] The survey also found that, by a margin of nearly 3-to-1, Americans say the main purpose of marriage is the "mutual happiness and fulfillment" of adults rather than the "bearing and raising of children."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:02 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 23, 2007
Blank Paper Utility
At last, the product we all have been waiting for: Blank Paper Utility!
When you need a blank sheet of paper, use this product!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 15, 2007
Bush Crazification Strategies
Kevin Drum linked to this, and it's still great, so I'll link to it, too: Kung Fu Monkey: Lunch Discussions #145: The Crazification Factor
Too funny to excerpt, just go read it.
OK, one part explains why Bush can't go lower than 27% in the polls,
Obama vs. Alan Keyes. Keyes was from out of state, so you can eliminate any established political base; both candidates were black, so you can factor out racism; and Keyes was plainly, obviously, completely crazy. Batshit crazy. Head-trauma crazy. But 27% of the population of Illinois voted for him. They put party identification, personal prejudice, whatever ahead of rational judgement. Hell, even like 5% of Democrats voted for him. That's crazy behaviour. I think you have to assume a 27% Crazification Factor in any population.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 6, 2007
Joe Trippi Bakes A Pie
John Edwards' Online Fundraising Ad
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Here?
I checked the logs, and Seeing the Forest is suddenly getting a number of visitors sent over here by Google, from people searching for the words "avoiding masturbation."
OK, this is a good blog, but I'd personally still rather... Or is it that people go to "About the Authors," take one look at my picture, and the urge just dissipates? Is this my legacy? Parents catch their teenagers shaking hands with the unemployed -- and send them here??!!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 27, 2007
An E-Mail I Received
Just got this e-mail. Seriously:
Hi,
Hope I amb not writing to wrong addrebsas. I am nice, pretty looking girl. I am planning on visitaing your town this month. Can we meet each bother in person? Message me back at ...
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:09 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 26, 2007
The Saturday Cartoons
BobGeiger.com: The Saturday Cartoons
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 21, 2007
Saturday Cartoons
BobGeiger.com: The Saturday Cartoons
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 14, 2007
Bob's Saturday Cartoons
BobGeiger.com: The Saturday Cartoons
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 12, 2007
The Missing E-Mails
Daily Kos: The 18-minute gap and the Saturday Night Massacre, all rolled up into one,
Media note: Suggested scandal nickname, DogAte.It's the crime and the coverup.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 7, 2007
Saturday Cartoons
BobGeiger.com: The Saturday Cartoons
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 4, 2007
Uh-Oh!
Oh No!!!
I thought YOU were watching him!
What could happen if we don't get Bush out in time.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:48 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
March 24, 2007
Bill Maher Smacks Down Bush and Cheney
Through Rising Hegemon: Bill Maher New Rules 3/23, from Atrios, watch all of this:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 6:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
March 12, 2007
Call Center
The horror!
And for fun:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 19, 2007
When More Is Not Enough
HAVIDOL - When more is not enough.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:26 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 5, 2007
Super Bowl Ads
OK, these are funny.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 17, 2007
T-Shirts
Well this is interesting. I received a forwarded e-mail that is not from the right. It's interesting to see where public thinking about acceptable humor is going. Not long ago people would be afraid bad things might happen to them - like what happened to the Dixie Chicks - for forwarding this. Subject line Funny T-Shirts:
1) (On an infant's shirt): Already smarter than Bush.
2) 1/20/09: End of an Error
3) That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway
4) Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First
5) If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran
6) Bush. Like a Rock. Only Dumber.
7) You Can't Be Pro-War And Pro-Life At The Same Time
8) If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President
9) Of Course It Hurts: You're Getting Screwed by an Elephant
10) Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet?
11) George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight
12) Impeachment: It's Not Just for sex Anymore
14) America : One Nation, Under Surveillance
15) They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It
16) Cheney/Satan '08
17) Jail to the Chief
18) No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade
19) Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap
20) Bad president! No Banana.
21) We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language
22) We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them
23) Is It Vietnam Yet?
24) Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either
25) Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket?
26) You Elected Him. You Deserve Him.
27) When Bush Took Office, Gas Was $1.46
28) The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century
29) 2004: Embarrassed 2005: Horrified 2006: Terrified
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:17 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 13, 2007
Brilliant In A Box
Step one, watch this first
Step two, then watch this
Step three, the blog
Step four, unboxed
Step five, the story
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
An SUV In A Space Marked Compact
Ever see an SUV parked in a space marked "Compact?" Ever come back to your car and some ... person ... has parked too close and you can't get into your car from the drivers side?
Visit youparklikeanasshole.com and send them a picture or download a notice.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:11 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 24, 2006
Door-To-Door Athiests Bothering Mormons
Hooray! Go see Door To Door Atheists Bother Mormons
Australian filmmaker John Safran is so fed up with mormons ringing his doorbell early in the morning that he flies to Salt Lake City Utah and tries to convert Mormons to atheism. Needless to say, the locals were not pleased."Blessed is the man who goes around banging on epople's doors at all hours of the morning for he truly is Jesus's little friend."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:38 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 20, 2006
Today's Housing Bubble Post - Flipper Nation
Episode 1: The First Flip
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:54 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Worst Burglar - Ever?
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:39 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 17, 2006
Eat the Baby to Save the Baby
And watch the TV pundits reaction as they strive to shape America's opinion.
It's modern America -- in The Propaganda Age.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 10, 2006
OOPS
Posted by Dave Johnson at 2:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 8, 2006
Conservative Looks Back At Last Two Years
THIS IS A MUST-SEE.
Right-wing blog Ace of Spades HQ has three videos up in a post titled, A Dramatic Interpretation Of The GOP's Past Two Years.
You will agree. Go watch all three.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Another Scandal!
Prominent Male Hooker Forced To Step Down Amid Accusations Of Sex With Sleazy Evangelical Leader,
A prominent male hooker, Dirk Blackman, was forced to give up his position as the head of a large national prostitution ring when it was revealed that he had repeatedly had sex with sleazy evangelical leader Ted Haggard.Go read.Members of the prostitution ring were shocked by the allegations. "There are some things that you don't even do for money," said one man...
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 4, 2006
Three GREAT Videos
And funny! Forward to everyone you know!
Red Guy / Blue Guy
(strong language warning)
The 2006 Elections:
Brought to you by Diebold!
(strong disbelief warning)
Help the donkey f**k the elephant
(strong political-activity-encouragement warning- old DMTV video, with different name)
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 28, 2006
Halloween Dogs
I found a Halloween Dog Photo Contest.
Here's my favorite:
Darth Vader
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:15 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 26, 2006
These Are The Stingrays!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 13, 2006
Conservative Bloggers Won The Iraq War!
The War of the Words says that conservative bloggers and pundits (The Fighting 101st Keyboarders) are the true heros of our time.
This is a bit insider, but really funny.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 10:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 3, 2006
Another Way To Spin It
Heh, this is good. What do you do when you have a big problem with a Congressman, and it threatens your party in the upcoming election? The answer is so easy ... just say he ISN'T in your party - he's in the OTHER party! Heh. Heh. Man, they're good.
See the photo at the b side: FOX NEWS LIES!
Heh. Man, they're good.
WHile we're talking about REPUBLICAN Congressman Foley, I saw my favorite-ever first line in a newspaper story today:
Five weeks before a midterm election, when Republicans are already on the ropes, the last thing the GOP needed was a homosexual pedophilia scandal.Heh.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
September 16, 2006
Doing My Homework
So next week I'm blogging from the Clinton Global Initiative. There will be Presidents, Prime Ministers, Kings and Queens and many other distinguished world leaders (see the list here). So I am doing my homework, studying up. Just today I am learning what to say in case I meet the King of the Pirates.
I expect they will have a little card table set up in a corner where the bloggers will eat.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:46 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
September 6, 2006
Tune for Today -- Have You Had Enough
Throw the rascals out.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
September 2, 2006
Washington Conventional Wisdom Is Like New York Fashion
I think the fashion industry is a good analogy for the out-of-touch pundit and political insider class. Take a look at what the insiders think we're supposed to look like. It really does resemble what the Washington Conventional Wisdom crowd wants us to think like.
Let's start with Christian Dior with that special look for meeting his parents:
But wait! There's more!
Here is the new office attire we'll be wearing next year:
And for casual Fridays:
And from Givenchy, a new look in makeup, for when you want to impress that special guy:
And for the men, the "emperor's new clothes" look from Calvin Klein:
They really DO think we're dicks!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:42 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
July 15, 2006
Tubes!
The other day I wrote about Sen. Stevens and Tangled Up Tubes!
Now see the movie!
And another:
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
July 11, 2006
Tangled Up Tubes!
OK, the funniest thing in a long time.
Senator Ted Stevens, Republican Chairman of the United States Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation, went on an unbelievable and ignorant rant about the Internet (mp3) the other day, and now it's available in the remix. (Click on Listen or Download.)
Funny. And sad. Maybe just sad. But at least it's not a big truck.
"Not A Big Truck" - maybe a good name for a blog. Maybe "Tangled Up Tubes."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 5, 2006
Tomorrow's The Big 666 -- Wingnuts Going ...Well ... NUTS!!!!
Wingnuts are going ... well... NUTS, because tomorrow is the dreaded 666 day!!! 6/6/06!!!!
Drudge is hilighting that the 30-year mortgage rate is at 6.66%.
But wait, there's MORE!!! MUCH more!!!
If you count the letters in "Ronald Wilson Reagan" it's 666!!!!! When Reagan retired he moved to 666 Cloud Road!!! And Ronald Wilson Reagan is an anagram!!!!! If you rearrange all the letters you get: INSANE ANGLO WARLORD!!!!!
And there are even more signs, sure signs,
We are declining in terms of baptisms (down 4 percent last year), declining in terms of investment through the Cooperative Program (down from 10.6 percent to 6.66 percent since 1984).Another sure sign, On Fox, Coulter plugged 6-6-6 release of new book attacking liberals as "godless".
The signs are showing up everywhere:
And fiscal year to date, the airport has handled 6.66 billion pounds of cargo, up 1.84 percent from the same period last fiscal year.And here:
The corresponding millage increase would be 6.66 mills, according to Dickl, which the board then passed in a 5-4 vote.6.66 MILLS??? A TAX??? !!! SURELY the devil is involved!!! And there is ever more:
Blanton was 0-5 with a 6.66 ERA...ERA - cleverly planted by LLLLiberals to make you think of the Hellish Equal Rights Aendment!! And more:
Turkey paid USD 666 million for oil imports in March 2005.And so many more -- the vaccine that the right-wingers are trying to ban because it prevents cervical cancer,
In a Phase III study, 666 women aged 15 to 55 were vaccinated with Ceravix. After a month of treatment, all women showed antibody response against type 16 and type 18 human papillomavirus, strains of the virus that are associated with cervical cancerIt just doesn't stop coming at us:
SFR's quarterly earnings from operations rose by 11.0% to EUR 666EUROS???!!!!!
million.
...LG Telecom, which had 6.66 million users by April...And this one,
Goldman Sachs's fund management unit was among sellers of Tyco stock during the quarter, disposing of 9 million shares to reduce its position to 6.66 million.Goldman? Didn't BUSH just pick someone from Goldman to be Treasury Secretary???? Isn't that where the MONEY is????? And isn't Goldman a JEWISH name??? !!!!
But now, here comes the big one, the real shocker:
It might SEEM that counting the letters in "George Walker Bush" gives you 664, BUT THEY CHANGED THE NAME FROM BUSCHE!!!!! HE'S THE DEVIL!!! (I've wanted to start that rumor for years...)
Posted by Dave Johnson at 6:35 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
June 3, 2006
Typical Wingnut
Carol Lynn Price: Super Patriot
I think the clue is at 40 seconds - she isn't wearing any pants. Otherwise it really could be the latest wingnut hero.
The thing is - the wingnuts are SO extreme this might or might not be a parady! And I bet there's some right wingers trying to order the book.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 27, 2006
Political Cartoons
Bob Geiger has been collecting The Saturday Cartoons at Democrats.com
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:35 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 21, 2006
OH MY GOD!
You're just not going to believe this outrage!!! Two men got on a school bus!!!!! This is just incredible!!!!!
OH MY GOD!!!!
It's a good thing the sentries are on duty, keeping watch to guard and protect us!!!!!!!!!
Imagine the widespread alarm and outrage that we would see all over the right-wing blogosphere if they looked like Timothy McVeigh!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!
Update - What some of what the RW blogs wrote, because two young Saudi guys got on a school bus:
Pay no attention to the towels atop the heads or the box cutters in the pockets of these fine gentlemen.TERRORISTS!!!!!
--
Unlike Islam, Christianity and Judaism do not preach taqiyah (deception of Infidels and non-believers). And they don't send people to scout out the possibility of attacks on school buses or airplanes.
--
We keep letting these @$$holes in... It's just a matter of time before they get us.
--
Picture of WTC burning
--
Terrorists are already among us. Let’s deal with questionable people in a consistent and forceful way. Step out of line while on a student visa, and you’re gone. Any other policy leaves us vulnerable. Can we be sure that the quota system from Saudi Arabia for students is not a conduit by which future terrorists can better understand their enemy?
--
...this is more likely a test run for a Beslan-type scenario.
--
We have plenty of reason to be concerned about possible terrorism operatives in south Florida.
--
Nope. These two don’t fit any profile for potential terrorists. ... Yeeeeeeah. Pull the other one, Ahmed. ... Nope. No reason to even REMOTELY suspect that they might have ties to the Jumpin’ Jihadis™.
---
This incident has all the hallmarks of a terrorist rehearsal. A full dress rehearsal in fact–checking access, routes, and reactions.
---
Was this deliberate to show how easy it is for possible 'illegals up to no good' to have access to America's children? I wonder.... above are their photos.
--
What if they were to memorize the identities of the students and then start stalking them? ... This is not good, because there's every chance that any of these students could be terrorist moles.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 12:11 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
May 4, 2006
Not Funny
Turns out I had only seen about half of Stephen Colbert's Correspondent's Dinner talk. You can see it all at Video Dog - Salon.com.
It is really, really funny. I really don't understand how anyone - except, of course, Bush - can say it wasn't funny.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:54 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 24, 2006
Really Funny
This is really, really funny. metacomments: The Emperor's New Clothes and the Fucking Blogger.
Through Atrios.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
April 20, 2006
I'm The Decider - Go Hear!
Through Atrios
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
March 29, 2006
Shorter Kos
Shorter Kos: Don't like it? Tough shit. Learn to read.
I love that guy.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 5:49 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
March 6, 2006
Security
I Hope They Know About The Burning Bag Of Poop Trick
Through The Daou Report, which you should visit every single day.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 1:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 22, 2006
Who Is The Crazy Person In The Room?
I've said before that when I try to talk about the stuff that the Republicans are up to, to people who don't really follow the news, they think I'M the crazy person!
My wife and I share a house with a roommate who doesn't really follow the news. Today I told him that last week the Vice President of the United States shot a man in the face with a shotgun, and blamed the guy he shot, and then when he got out of the hospital the guy apologized for the pain he had caused the VP -- and then this week the President of the United States allowed our ports to be sold to a company owned by the government of the United Arab Emirates.
You should have seen how he looked at me.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:03 PM | Comments (21) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 18, 2006
Butch - An E-mail I Received
An e-mail I received: (blame the sender, not me)
BUTCH THE ROOSTERI report, you groan.John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called pullets and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilize the eggs.
The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced.
That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.
The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all!
John went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the county fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...The judges not only awarded Butch the "No Bell Piece Prize" but they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly Butch was a Republican in the making. Who else but a Republican could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 5, 2006
The Bush Voter's World
Sent to me without attribution. Click on image for larger version. This was originally titled, "The American World", but I have this naive hope that at least a bare majority of the non-Bush voters have some slightly greater knowledge of the world around them...
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 5:33 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
February 2, 2006
Funny Liberals
Take a look at Laughing Liberally.
Saving democracy one laugh at a time.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 3:59 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 27, 2006
State of the Union Preview
Yee-HA Hilarious. (Click the picture to start the movie.)
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 26, 2006
Fresh Google search terms to confound Dubya and the FBI.
Mark Morford's latest column, entitled: Horse Sex Porn Candy Teens!, asks the question: "Is Bush a fascist?" (evidence would seem to indicate so; as Mark points out, Bush "has slapped his color-crayon signature on over 500 signing statements so far, reserving his right to disregard the law more times than all former American presidents combined." Read the column for the ultimate irony re: this subject.)
He also suggests that we type in the following search terms, in an effort to confound the Justice Department's attempt to revive COPA (the Child Online Protection Act)... which is the biggest joke imaginable; do you have a child between the ages of 8 and 13? do they have access to chat, etc. on NeoPets? are they on MySpace? are they on AIM or Yahoo Messenger? I bet they are. ... and I bet you've never signed any sort of permission form. In my view, COPA actually accomplishes exactly the opposite: all those kids are busy lying about their age right and left, pretending to be 14, 15, 17, 19, 24, or even 30... and interacting with folks who are really that age... this has the perverse effect of further accelerating an already absurd premature teenhood and adulthood and overhyped sexuality (the link takes you to True.com, an advertisement for which greeted me on login). ... amazingly, most of these kid's profiles are pretty normal, but some of them just leave you shaking your head.
... rant off. Now, on with "Operation Screw With the DOJ and Make Lynne Cheney Squirm." Make sure you type the following into Google (and it wouldn't hurt to add them to your blog, or web page, too):
hot bunny terrorist fluffer banana
Osama butt pancake lube explosives yay
homemade nuke porn lollipop kiddie nipple bomb!!!
As Mark says:
Up, off the couch. Log in to Google. Type "Karl Rove eaten by giant homosexual squid." Type "George W. Bush beaten to lifeless pulp by swarm of angry kindergarten children." Enter "Samuel Alito loves his 'Weapons of Ass Destruction IV' DVD." It might not be much, but it sure sends the right kind of message. Don't you agree?
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 10:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 25, 2006
Heh
From Daily Kos: Cheers and Jeers: Wednesday,
"In a disturbing development this week, Iran broke open the seal on three of its nuclear facilities...which means even if they don't like them they won't be able to return them."
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:19 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 17, 2006
Conservative Intellectuals Analyzed
Hat tip to Mary at The Left Coaster, How Conservatives Argue: A Case Study:
Liberal: The USA has fifty states.Conservative: No, it doesn’t.
Liberal: Yes, it does. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: What about Guam? What about that Guam, huh? Or the Virgin Islands?
Liberal: Those are territories, not states. The USA has fifty states.
Conservative: Oh, so you’re saying those don’t count?
Liberal: Yes.
Conservative: Oh, so the people there don’t count? They’re not good enough, huh? I thought you liberals wanted everybody to be counted.
ellinton is just getting warmed up. Click through for an instant blog classic that has the indisuputable ring of truthiness.
If that's not enough to get your motor started, check out an advisorjim classic How To Annoy A Conservative
Posted by Gary Boatwright at 8:21 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
January 4, 2006
Pray For A Better Tomorrow
Arrived in my email box via my wife, via a knitters "flame" email list.
Bush is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international
Disgrace for his ego's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution
And war, I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control,
they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the
Presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall
follow me all the days of thy term.
And my jobless children shall dwell in my basement
forever.
Amen.
Note: Former Democratic Party Congressional candidate Andrew Kaza saw it first.
Bonus time: here's an earlier political reworking of the Lord's Prayer, perhaps even angrier and more cynical... final verse:
Goodness and mercy all my life
Shall surely follow me as long as I donate to the Party.
And In Bush’s house forever more
My dwelling place shall be, as long as I keep giving until it hurts.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 10:14 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 25, 2005
Happy Chanukah
"Okay...
This is a song that uhh..
There's a lot of Christmas songs out there and uhh..
not too many Chanukah songs.
So uhh..
I wrote a song for all those nice little Jewish kids who don't
get to
hear any Chanukah songs.
Here we go..."
Put on your yarmulke
Here comes Chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
Here's a list of people who are Jewish just like you and me
David Lee Roth lights the menorah
So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah
Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli
Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzerelli
Paul Newman's half Jewish, Goldie Hawn's half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin' Jew
You don't need "Deck The Halls" or "Jingle Bell Rock"
'Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr.Spock-
both
Jewish
Put on your yarmulke
It's time for Chanukah
The owner of the Seattle Supersonicahs
Celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson, not a Jew
But guess who is? Hall of famer Rod Carew- he converted
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby
Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish- not too shabby
Some people think that Ebenezer
Scrooge is
Well he's not, but guess who is
All three Stooges
So many Jews are in showbiz
Tom Cruise isn't, but I heard his agent is
Tell your friend Veronica
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely Chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy,
happy Chanukah
Happy Chanukah
Posted by Gary Boatwright at 11:10 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Why I'm A Guest Blogger
Four of your favorite foods:
Pot Roast
Orange Chicken
Chalupas
Wendy’s Classic Double with Chili or Baked Potato and Chives
Four movies you could watch over and over:
Fight Club
Matrix
Alien
A Boy and His Dog , aka Psycho Boy and His Killer Dog
Four jobs you've had in your life:
Welder - Water Towers, Ornamental Iron Workers and Boilermakers Union
Hot Asphalt
Sales – Ads on vinyl phone book covers, Copiers, Water Softeners, Solar Heating systems.
Mortgage Lending – Best doc drawer in Southern California.
Four places you've lived:
Des Moines, IA
Rhodes, IA
L.A.
San Diego.
Four TV shows you love to watch:
West Wing
NCIS
CSI (all of them)
The Daily Show.
Next Season In Justice
Four websites you visit daily:
MyDD
Hullabaloo
The Left Coaster
The Political Animal.
Four places you'd rather be:
New Zealand
Jamaica
Hawaii
Australia.
Posted by Gary Boatwright at 8:56 AM | Comments (27) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 22, 2005
War on Christmas?
Read this week's Deep Cover (a comic by Santa Cruz area artist Tim Eagan) at BrattonOnline (disclaimer: a site my company hosts and publishes), for an amusing take on the right's latest cultural jihad: the "liberal war on Christmas". It's just below the printed column.
UPDATE: I've added a direct link to Tim Eagan's site (click his name above). Also, just FYI, his comic is posted weekly... and is usually just plain brilliant. Also, a self-plug for business during the holidays: I'm self-employed, so if you're looking for affordable, high quality web and/or graphic design, check out my company, Godmoma's Forge, LLC. We've been in the business since 1994.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 1:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 18, 2005
Funny Comic for Enviros
... and go read the RustleMania Blog. Good stuff!
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 2:39 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 14, 2005
Activist Liberal Judge Bans Christmas!
You're just not going to believe this one! Activist Judge Cancels Christmas,
WASHINGTON, DC—In a sudden and unexpected blow to the Americans working to protect the holiday, liberal U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Stephen Reinhardt ruled the private celebration of Christmas unconstitutional Monday.Something has to be done!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:27 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
December 9, 2005
Really Funny
You might have to be a very regular blog reader to appreciate it, but I think this is one of the funniest things I have read in a very long time. Sample:
I understand you do impressions of other bloggers. Can you do, say, Atrios?Oh, yes, I've practiced this one! A typical day in Eschatonville: Open thread, open thread, open thread, "Heh," open thread, open thread, "Wanker", open thread, "Heh indeedy," open thread, open thread, "Bobo strikes again"...Boobies!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:43 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 25, 2005
Pray for Confederate Yankee
One of our good friends in the freeper sector of the blogosphere has been afflicted with some sort of unidentified degenerative brain disease. In the interest of transparency and full understanding, I am pulling up the last few exchanges we have had in my previous post about Confederate Yankee Bans The Facts.
I'll pick up our informative exchange at the point where my good friend calls me an idiot:
Gary,I hate to ruin your rant (you seem to be enjoying such a nice one, but I didn't delete your comment. It is still located in the comments for the post "Aid and Comfort." You even responded back to my response for this post.
Perhaps you should lay off the illegal substances.
Idiot.
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at November 25, 2005 06:14 PM
Editor's note: The omission of the close parens symbol was in the original comment.
Somewhat baffled by Confederate Yankee's irrational belief that I was accusing him of deleting my comment, I went back and re-read my original comment and replied:
Confederate Fascist,It was very considerate of you to stop by STF and demonstrate your allergy to facts. If you had the reading comprehension level of a sixth grader, you would not have deluded yourself into thinking I accused you of deleting my comment from your ideologically fascist website.
Ask one of the neighborhood children to read my comment out loud for you and you will discover that I did not complain about my comment being deleted. I simply re-posted it for the convenience of STF readers. I did not wish to subject them to the intellectual dischord of visiting your fascist, fact challenged website.
Perhaps you should take a remedial reading course at your local Community College. I recommend asking them to teach you how to understand what the words on the page say, as opposed to what you would like them to say.
Recommended reading: How To Read A Book by Mortimer Adler.
Free Tip: Read the black parts of the page.
Posted by: Gary Boatwright at November 25, 2005 08:58 PM
Apparently I was still not being clear enough for Confederate Yankee's deranged, incapacitated, inebriated or intellectually inoperative brain to comprehend, because he responded with these irrelevant comments:
Hey Gary:Perhaps before you try to teach others how to read, you should read The Concise English Handbook. I'm only mentioned in the credits of those who teach how to write, you stupid son of a bitch.
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at November 25, 2005 10:56 PM
Folks, I'd like to apologize for my language. The arrogantly stupid seem to irritate me very badly, and I shouldn't pick on them.
Posted by: Confederate Yankee at November 25, 2005 10:59 PM
As you can see our friend is struggling mightily with some sort of unidentified inner demon. Whatever he may have accomplished in his glory days of youth does not change the simple fact that he completely mis-read my comment. So in the interest of harmony in the blogosphere and clarification of the issue, here is my reply:
Fascist Moron,I regret that I have been granting you too much respect. Somehow you reached the bizarre conclusion that I was accusing you of deleting the comment I posted at your website. Let's examine the sentence immediately preceeding the comment I reproduced here at STF:
Here is the entire comment that I posted at Confederate Fascist, without the link to the British newspaper that carried the article:Allow me to repeat that statement with emphasis for clarity:
Here is the entire comment that I posted at Confederate Fascist, without the link to the British newspaper that carried the article:
This is apparently the way you read that same statement:
Here is the entire comment that I posted at Confederate Fascist, which Confederate Fascist deleted, without the link to the British newspaper that carried the article:
I believe that explains why I recommended that you only read the black parts of the page. I can't explain your pathetic inability to understand plain English or why you feel the need to blame me for your intellectual and emotional shortcomings.
Perhaps you should seek intensive therapeutic counseling so you could determine if your aversion to facts is emotional, intellectual or psychological. I wish you a speedy recovery from your affliction.
I ask all faithful STF readers to join hands with me in a prayer for Confederate Yankee's speedy recovery from his affliction. For the sake of his family, I hope he has not contracted the dreaded Mad Coulter Disease.
Posted by Gary Boatwright at 11:28 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 23, 2005
The X On Cheney's Face - Part Of A Much Larger Plot!
It's all here: Workbench: CNN Dicks Cheney with Subliminal Messages.
o read the shocking details of the conspiracy!!!
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:19 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
Bush More Unpopular Than Ever
Yellow Dog Blog: Turkeys Refuse Ceremonial White House Pardon,
In yet another publicity blow to the beleaguered Bush administration, both National Thanksgiving Turkeys have refused the ceremonial pardon traditionally given by the president. The turkeys, named Marshmallow and Yam, were selected for the eleventh-hour Thanksgiving reprieve based on a White House web-site poll.Go read the rest.[. . .] The White House expressed disappointment in the turkeys' decision to turn down the ceremonial pardon and suggested a possible partisan motivation.
Posted by Dave Johnson at 8:23 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 14, 2005
God help us, please.
Received this in my email courtesy of a local activist acquaintance. No credits, was unable to find an example of it on the web, so unless someone cna point me to the author, he or she remains anonymous. The phrase, "Would someone please give him a blowjob so we can impeach him?" is quite common, however, as a search on Google will reveal.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 2:17 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
A little late night humor...
Got a montage of snapshots from this site in my email today (courtesy of my mother). Did a search, found this site.
Brilliant concept. I particularly liked the juxtaposition of Bush reading a children's story book, and a chimpanzee reading "The Origin of Species". Aside from set-pieces of that sort, the similarities are quite amusing... the Resident does have a tendency to display the most unguarded expressions.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 1:44 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 11, 2005
Arnold
"If I would do another 'Terminator' movie I would have Terminator travel back in time and tell Arnold not to have a special election," the former action film star joked. "I should have also listened to my wife who said don't do it."Now if only we could go back in time and tell the country not to invade Iraq...
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:47 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 10, 2005
Hot
Posted by Dave Johnson at 5:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 6, 2005
Absolut Corruption
Source: 2 Political Junkies (proud members of the reality based community)
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 12:53 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 3, 2005
Connecticut
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 6:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
November 1, 2005
Everything
Everything at BartCop Entertainment
Posted by Dave Johnson at 7:00 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 29, 2005
Fly
Posted by Dave Johnson at 9:57 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 28, 2005
Analogies Gone Wild
"You mean 'cause the Israelis control that, too?"
Girl #1: I'd offer to set you up with him, but you're already occupied.
Girl #2: I am not occupied.
Girl #1: Please! You're so occupied, you're the Gaza Strip.
Girl #2: Don't you watch the news?--111th & Broadway
Posted by Dave Johnson at 2:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 25, 2005
Political Humor
Two new sites:
Spittle & Ink: The Weblog of Mark Spittle - good stuff, check out Judy Miller's "notes". :)
Schwarzenegger Street - an "alternative" to Sesame Street starting Arnie (instead of Earnie), and populated by creatures like Cheney the Constitution (eating) Monster, Bill O'Reilly the Grouch, etc., courtesy of Phil Angelides' campaign. I'd rate it three giggles out of five... just doesn't fully "gell" for me, although it produced a few snorts.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 11:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 22, 2005
New Disease
The American Street : Another Worrisome Infectious Disease
Posted by Dave Johnson at 6:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 21, 2005
High Standards
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 6:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
A Miserable Failure of a Presidency
Apparently, the right wing is organizing to replace the current result for miserable failure with M1cha3l M00re (geez, they sure take his criticism of the "miserable failure" pretty personally, don't they?) - whose eponymous web site is now the second highest ranking result whenever you search for "failure" or "miserable failure". Time to for some counter-measures, folks.
If there were any doubt that the current resident of the White House is a miserable failure, recent polls (showing him with among the lowest approval ratings ever) and the wholesale abandonment of much of his second term agenda should eliminate them. George W. Bush is a miserable failure of a President, and no organized right wing conspiracy is going to change that.
Posted by Thomas Leavitt at 12:15 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
October 20, 2005
Breaking
The American Street : This Just In from Shitstorm Central
Posted by Dave Johnson at 4:41 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
September 26, 2005
Brazilians and Brazilians
An e-mail I received:
Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed.""OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits in stunned silence--shocked at this uncharacteristic display of emotion--nervously watching as the President sits slumped in his chair with his head in his hands.
Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Posted by Dave Johnson at 11:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack | Link Cosmos
