Dec 1


Thanks for all the fish

by Terry 01 December 2011


This probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone, but the time has come to shut down this blog. Thank you to each and every one of you for the support and friendship over the last seven years — you made me feel a part of a community at a time when I really needed it, and I deeply appreciate that. Now, though, it’s time to move on.

I’ve decided to let the domain name expire in January, so if you want to keep in touch with me you can email me at tkanago@gmail.com or find me as Terry Montgomery Kanago on Facebook. I hope I’ll see you there.

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Oct 6


Crazy med-go-round

by Terry 06 October 2011


When I said yesterday in my Random Bullets that a med change was in the offing, I didn’t realize just how big that change was going to be.  I thought maybe drop the Zyprexa and add a little something extra, maybe increase a couple of dosages — the usual tweaking that happens a couple of times a year.  Instead, my whole pharmacological package is shifting.

As the core of my cocktail I’ve taken Geodon and Lamictal for 7 years.  I’ve been at max dose on both of them for quite some time, which is why my shrink tossed Zyprexa into the mix last month.  After the failure of that plan, she’s decided that it’s time to move off of Geodon completely and onto something new.  Seroquel will replace it at a dosage of 300 mg to start.  In preparations for the next stage of the med change, my Lamictal is cut back to 200 mg for the next 2 weeks, after which I’ll see the shrink again.  If I’m adjusting to the Seroquel ok I’ll come completely off the Lamictal and start titrating up on Topamax.  The idea is to balance the weight gain side effect of the Seroquel against the weight loss common with Topamax and hopefully end up neutral.

To be honest, the whole thing scares the crap out of me.  Even if they weren’t optimal, Geodon and Lamictal kept me at least functional for a lot of years and changing them is like stepping off a ledge and hoping the stairs appear underneath me.  Even if my shrink is right that this is going to make me stronger and better able to cope in the long run, the short term is still going to be a bitch.  Rapid detox like I’ll be doing has the potential to throw me into a meltdown and I really really REALLY don’t want to go there again.  It’s vitally important that my sleep be uninterrupted or I’ll go downhill rapidly regardless of what other drugs I’m taking.  And guess what — Geodon is the drug that lets me sleep.  So … yeah.

It’s going to be interesting.

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Oct 4


Random bullets

by Terry 04 October 2011


  • Happy thing: my twice-monthly manicure  Color: Queen of Hearts
  • Happy thing: saving enough calories during the day that we can go out for fro yo in the evening
  • Happy thing: my new med is working great, squashing the mania and anxiety
  • Not-so-happy thing: Side effects of said drug are a bitch
  • Happy thing: I see my shrink tomorrow about it
  • Not-so-happy thing: yet another med change is in the offing
  • Happy thing:  having Kerwin ask what he can do to make that transition time easier.  The answer is probably not a lot, but the offer means so much.
  • Happy thing: a crisp autumn day with a sprinkling of rain, perfect for sipping coffee and thinking Deep Thoughts
  • Happy thing: studying in a comfy chair by the fireplace in my favorite coffee shop
  • Happy thing: scoring 100 on my grantwriting quiz
  • Happy thing: scoring cute boots on sale 50% off when I bought sensible shoes at full price
  • Happy thing: the perfect haircut for $18 including tip
  • Happy thing: Julie and Aaron are coming to visit in 6 weeks!
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Oct 4


Forza Coffee

by Terry




Forza Coffee, originally uploaded by Invisible Terry.

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Sep 15


Back to school

by Terry 15 September 2011


In an effort to alleviate my depression and build some more job skills, I’m going back to school again.   This time I’ve decided to take advantage of Ed2Go, offered through the local community college.  It’s an online program that offers a wide range of interesting classes for the reasonable cost of $99 each, much cheaper than taking a course”live.”  The one I’m starting with is A-Z Grantwriting, part 1 of a 2 part series designed to teach what I need to know to pursue grants for non-profits and possibly for myself.  I’m very excited about it, both with the subject matter and with the idea of being a student again.  I’ve never felt as good about myself as I did when I was finishing up my degree, and maybe Continuing Ed can give the the same sense of accomplishment.

The class starts Sept 21 and runs 6 weeks, and I’m planning to devote 3 mornings a week to it.  The plan is to pack up my computer and be settled in to study at my favorite coffee shop by 8:00 am those days, and to walk home after my work is done.  This serves multiple purposes: it forces me to focus on my class for a set period of time, the walk involved will be much needed exercise, and most importantly, it will get me out of the house and out of my own head on a regular basis.

So depending on what my assignments look like, I may be posting homework here. Wish me luck!

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Sep 11


Random Bullets

by Terry 11 September 2011


After a really rocky summer:

  • Happy thing: Tazo Passion Tea on ice
  • Happy thing: summer clothes on clearance while it’s still hot
  • Happy thing:  saw The Debt last night.  I want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.
  • Not-so-happy thing: panic attacks in my sleep
  • Happy thing: cold watermelon
  • Happy thing: shower renovation is finished. Now to do the rest of the master bathroom ….
  • Happy thing: Dr Who (Matt Smith) on Netflix
  • Happy thing:  new sleeping pills that actually let me sleep (most of the time)
  • Happy thing: Edgar’s 10th birthday
  • Happy thing: had a poem published in Cynic Online
  • Happy thing: playing Scrabble on Facebook with friends who have better vocabularies than I do
  • Very happy thing: Friends who stand by me through even the darkest days.

New season, new outlook, right?  Autumn is going to be better.

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Aug 8


Almost as good as being there … well, not really

by Terry 08 August 2011


John Popper and Blues Traveler

What better way to spend a Sunday night than in the 2nd row at a Blues Traveler concert? Since my husband Kerwin and I did and you didn’t, here’s a phone snap and a recording of the full evening captured by some kind soul who made it available on archive.com.

John Popper’s voice is pretty trashed, given it’s the last night of the tour, but the harmonica rocks.

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Jun 29


It’s basketball season somewhere

by Terry 29 June 2011


Zag 2010/2011 highlights. Only 5 months to go!

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Jun 22


There’s no movie like a Muppet movie

by Terry 22 June 2011


I’ll go see this in the theater even without any kids to take along. It ain’t easy being green.

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Jun 21


Random Bullets

by Terry 21 June 2011


It’s the simple things ….

  • Happy thing:  Good check-up at the doctor today.  After being borderline high for a year my blood sugar is now low normal.  Losing weight makes a difference!
  • Happy thing:  Almond Breeze.  Half the calories of skim milk and much better for my stomach.  Great in coffee and oatmeal.
  • Happy thing:  Painted my nails bright red to match my new shoes.
  • Happy thing:  First day of summer!  Maybe we’ll get some spring now.
  • Not-so-happy thing:  Having major sleep issues again.  New scrip from the doctor — hope it helps.
  • Happy thing:  Sunshine yellow sweater bought with a 50% off coupon.  Will look great with my blue sundress.
  • Happy thing:  Burt’s Bees body lotion
  • Not-so-happy thing:  Edgar’s arthritis is acting up.  Getting old is tough.
  • Happy thing:  Letting him sleep on the couch so that he doesn’t have to lay on the cold floor.
  • Happy thing:  Picking out a new color scheme for my bathroom.  I’m thinking taupe and terra cotta.
  • Happy thing:  New season of Drop Dead Diva starting this week.
  • Happy thing:  150 calorie Butterfly Bakery chocolate chocolate chip muffins.

Hope you’re all having a great week!

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