Daredevil Leaping Across GOP 'Enthusiasm Gap'

Warm Scuzzies #259

U. S. Conference of Catholic Bishops

Big Hit at CPAC Dog and Pony Show

Russians Confirm They've Reached the Republican Party's

Utopia, Buried Two Miles Beneath Antarctic Ice

Fool on the Hill Enthusing Over a 'Shining City on a Hill'

"Neener-Neener-Neener!"

Grand Moff Tarkin Sez:  "When she says

'nobody loves a Death Star', Peggy Noonan

doesn't know what she's talking about."

Following David Gregory's advice, Mitt Romney ripped

the other guy's face off.

Unfortunately, it is possible to have two royal pains in the ass.

Rude Rhymes #57

"I Promise!"

Cal Thomas

Santorum Still Holding Himself Hostage After Latest

Republican Primary

"But I'm the other white meat!"

Remember They Live? It's the movie

 where a right-wing drifter discovers a

pair of sunglasses that allows him to see

that liberal aliens have taken over the

 Earth and are making pro-Obama

Chrysler commercials with

Clint Eastwood.

'Liberal Thugs' About to Make Senator McConnell Cry

Speaker Boehner still hadn't fully

recovered from the blow he suffered

when his Tea Party opponent in the

upcoming primary called him a

'Socialist'.

Short-Termer

Mimi Alford Sez:  "Yes, as a White House intern, I lost my

virginity to JFK and enjoyed every sordid minute of it!"

Things to Watch for at CPAC

"Yes, I'm Governor Kasich's 'hot wife'.  So glad to meet you!"

Sweet Meteor of Death

President Obama Unveils 'Marshmallow Cannon', His

Secret Weapon for Defeating 'Wascal Wepublicans' in 2012

Ann Coulter Kidnapped by RINO Team Six, Taken to

 Offshore Medical Facility, and Forced to Undergo

Gruesome Surgical Procedure Called 'De-Trucknutsing'

“So when caribou want to go on a date, they invite

 each other to head over to the oil pipeline.  And

that's when things really start to heat up.”

Hamburger Holy Family

"Slinging mud is a dirty business but somebody has to do it."

Kathleen Parker Wearing Her

'Conscience Protecter'

Governor Kasich Extolling the Virtues of 'Deep

Brain Massage' in His State-of-the-State Address

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #5

Matthew Continetti

Losses in Minnesota, Missouri, and

Colorado Severely Abrade

Willardbot's Thin Skin

House Resolution Calls for 'Dynamic Snoring'

in Federal Budget Estimates

Paul Ryan Sez:  “In 2012, we need to go bold, like I did in

 July, 2011, when I dropped $472.70 on a single bottle of wine."

Richard Cohen Sez:  "I need

to see Iranian blood in the

sand---now!"

Axl Rose is now 50.  Whatever happened to

the 'Wages of Sin'?

This is what happened.

"I predict, gentlemen, that in 200 years, this Constitution will

be so misinterpreted by the Roberts Court that we may as

well have stayed home and filleted our kumquats."

Please be advised that all of the

photos of Donald Trump you may

have seen heretofore were satirical

caricatures.  Here's what he

really looks like.

"Go ahead, right-wing punk, diss my ad and make my day!"

Despite all the sound and fury, the only significant 

difference between the Republican Party and the

 Democratic Party is the difference between Pepsi

Socialism and Coke Socialism.

The Good News: After 4.5 billion years, Hell is finally full.

The Bad News: They're building another one.

Magical Depressionism #29

The formula for calculating the Milky Way's 'Occupancy

 Rate' is currently undergoing long-needed repairs.

For the more modest gamers in our midst,

here's the latest accessory for the

PlayStation 3: the eBurqa.

Ingest too much Moly (Greek: μῶλυ), a

magic herb mentioned in Homer's

Odyssey, and this is what happens

to you.

Oxymorons for Our Time #121

Honest Rape

"Shut up, Spock!  I said 'No more scotch and cigars

in the Lactation Chamber!'"

"Would it be fair to say, Pope Benedict, that celibacy is the

ultimate contraceptive and that you have been using it

for almost 85 years?"

The riot police always dreaded a full moon.

"I'm not slipping off into the sunset.  I just went

 home to Texas, rearmed, reloaded my mags, and

 I've got plenty of fight left in this 61-year-old body."

"What on Earth is that?"

"Prop 8."

"Anti-government extremists opposed to taxes and

regulations---usually referred to as the 'Republican

Base'---pose a growing threat to local law enforcement

officers in the United States, the FBI warned on Monday."