Ah, kids…they consume all your time, but can give you a good laugh out of the blue when you need it most. That’s why I haven’t blogged much in the last few years. That, and I don’t much care about politics anymore. Why? That’s a long story, but it’s mainly because I realized that the “everything is political” type of politics is really a religion for people who don’t have a religion already, or don’t think much of the one they have. Since I already have one, and think highly of it, I no longer want to syncretize it with politics as I have naively and regretably done in the past. Evangelicals have done that for long enough, and I believe it’s cost us Protestants all of our cultural relevance and credibility. A living, breathing religion shouldn’t need to co-opt the pulpit of politics to preach it’s gospel – it should have a life of it’s own that changes people from within. Only a religion that has “lost its savor” has to resort to politics for moral suasion, and I want nothing more to do with that. When I thought as a child, I spoke as a child….Thus, for the last few years I’ve been revisiting my roots, and trying to return to my first love (music and sound, specifically) and want to toil in that realm again, and recapture what meant something to me when I was younger – the sublime through art. That, and making sound for games, because, well, I like the sound of gunfire and explosions, even more so when it’s followed by the respawn. But I digress. Regarding religion and the arts, I have on my side an unlikely ally: Camille Paglia. I’ve believed for years that the future of religion is to be found in the arts, and interestingly enough, so does she. Having said that, I must visit the subject of politics for perhaps one last meaningful time.

The upcoming election is an important one in every sphere, but for me, America’s (and indeed every mature first-world nation’s) most imposing short-term challenge is an economic one. Long term I think we’ll do fine because exponentially advancing technology is making the economy increasingly resilient to long term pressures in either inflationary or deflationary directions. Or so it seems to this layman. However, I believe in the short term, our problems are many, because the entire world economy seems to be in a transition, America especially. And transitions create opportunities to seriously damage vulnerabilities inherent in any system. I believe America needs help right now, and for a short period of time, and I’m starting to think the following, which originates out of the fact that I work in advertising:

Every company has cycles in its business life. Sometimes the general awareness of a brand, and positive association with it is enough to carry it through tough times. Other times, the strength of that brand becomes diluted, and the former goodwill associated with that brand isn’t enough to carry it through those tough times. Usually, at this point the brand itself needs a campaign to make people aware of it again, and why it is still such a great brand. America, as a brand, is, I believe right now, in the 2nd category. People around the world, and even Americans themselves, have forgotten how powerful and how good a “brand” America really is. It’s not just a good idea in theory – it’s actually a good one in practice too, despite it’s televised flaws. But lots of people everywhere have forgotten that, or purposely ignored that, for a variety of reasons that I don’t need to repeat here. The strength of America as a brand has become diluted, and what we need, I believe, is a good ad campaign to remind people why America is such a great place. Advertising, like all propaganda, may not be the whole truth, but it is never a total lie, and everything from our résumés to religious proselytizing is a kind of an ad campaign. Advertising is necessary for the advancement of everything from getting that extra spoonful of cake mix from mommy, to shaping global energy policy.

The most effective brand campaigns are the ones that authentically embody the essence of the widget being pitched, despite whatever flaws it may hide by omission. Often, they are associated with a representative or spokesperson – either the CEO, a cartoon character, the “man on the street”, and so forth. Well, who is the representative for the brand that is America? It is its President. So, I ask myself, Who would be a better representative for a new America – an America that the world can believe in again (and reinvest in, or keep their investments in): John McCain, Obama, or Hillary? Well, Hillary is out. Aside from the fact that she’s basically McCain in a pants-suit and not generally well-liked, I think she’s too angry, too self-serving, and has too much blood on her hands. And many in her own party think the same way about her. I’ll take it one step further: I think the entire 60s civil rights, anti-war generation, both black and white, have too much blood on their hands to create the new America. All of them need to retire: Jesse, Al (Gore, Sharpton, Franken and any others), Hillary, Bill, and every other white baby-boomer/black activist type from that era. Mary Daly – gone. Dick Gregory – bye. Every over 50 feminist, Black Panther, and Woodstock attendee (the original one) – they all need to take a bow for their good work on the political stage, move to Florida, go fishing together, recline on the porch or sit on the stoop and talk about the good old days, and leave running the country to the next generation. Just like David had to do with the Temple in Jerusalem – he had to leave it to his son Solomon because the job of purging the promised land of it’s enemies made him unfit to build a house of worship, and a temple of peace. That generation of Americans has been fighting their identity politics fight for too long, and their vision has been tunneled from chasing the specters of racism and misogyny to the ends of the earth. They can’t see that if not quantitatively within the heart of every human being, on a qualitative social level we’ve pretty much arrived already in that little old white ladies in Iowa caucused for a young black man, and that black man has a real shot at being President of the United States. If the Iowa caucuses isn’t evidence of Martin-Luther-King-like progress in America, I don’t know what is. It should lay to rest the “Bradley Effect”, and silence those who believe in it. Personally, I feel if this election’s black candidate (male or female) were a Republican, they would win in a landslide over anyone, but that’s another post.

McCain – Well, I think he’d be a great president. He’s a plumber – he gets things done. And, I want to believe a real independent thinker that won’t stick up his finger to see where the winds of favor bloweth can win the election and do something good for our country. But, is he the right ad campaign for America at this time? Not really. I don’t think people think he can’t govern because he’s old or white, but because he is old and white, it’s that he’s not any different than anyone else before him. That makes him the same old ad campaign as before. It’s as if Toyota wanted to reinvent itself by pulling out the old “I love what you do for me!” line. It was fine for the day, but it’s a campaign that doesn’t resonate with the current demographic of car buyer.

Obama on the other hand, the most liberal candidate since McGovern, and one with nearly no governing or management experience of any kind, is actually a better ad campaign for America despite those glaring flaws, and I think should be seriously considered for the POTUS in that narrow light. The truth is, depsite his absurdly liberal ideas, no one in Washington on either side of the aisle is going to let him run away with the keys to Marxitopia. In fact, I think the poor guy will be little more than a tool at the end of 4 years. If Americans love anything, they love gridlock in politics and before you know it, we’re going to elect a bunch of Republicans to Congress and nothing will get done, just like with Clinton. And we all say together, “Amen!”. But what will be accomplished by electing Obama is that the world will see that America can reinvent itself. It can elect a black man to the highest office in the world, despite it’s (very un-unique) racist past. Furthermore, Europeans love the guy, and so do a lot of Africans.

So, what does it mean for the world to like the POTUS? Well, as they saying goes: “All things being equal, people hire people they like.” And as a corollary: People like those who are most like themselves. Obama is urbane, articulate (I use that world independently of his much argued “blackness”), and represents the young. He “speaks to people”, even if what he says doesn’t have much grit to it. But, a good ad campaign doesn’t necessarily have to have grit like “Independent studies have proven that a owning a Maserati will get you laid.” – it just has to resonate, even if it’s not entirely accurate. To me, Obama represents the “Think Different” of politics, and that brand campaign did pretty well for Apple, grammatically incorrect and vaguely misleading though it was.

So how that relates to the election is this: If we elect a POTUS that represents what is best about America, and one that the world likes, maybe in the coming years those who believe our campaign will occasionally give America a more favorable trade, or stand behind us when we need their help, or do something for us they wouldn’t do for someone they didn’t like as much, and that could be the crucial difference for our short-term economic future, and set the stage for a more experienced person to better strategically guide us in our long-term future. Economically, America is fundamentally a very strong “company”, but right now, we need help, and the timing of this election couldn’t be better. If we elect the right person, it could help us at precisely the right time we need it. If you look at the history of Wall Street, sometimes a fresh CEO will boost the stock price of a flagging company in the short term, even if in the long run, they’re not the right person. Think of it as a domestic and international psychological WPA project for America.

Of course, you can’t just elect a likable guy who is otherwise a disaster, but that’s why we have Congress. I trust the American system of government enough to elect a naive, inexperienced socialist to the Presidency, because I believe he will be kept in check by Congress, whom we elect directly. This isn’t Zimbabwe. Though I may yet change on this matter, I am currently growing in my opinion that even though right now America is like a leaky ship with a little bit of a list, it might be presently more important to elect a good spokesman who’s youth and skin color, i.e., his very being, would be an invaluable and irrefutable ad campaign for America’s inherent greatness, so we can get the world to “Think Different” about America. Once we do that, then in 4 years we can call in the plumber.

(BTW, in case it wasn’t clear, that’s my wife and daughter in the YouTube video above).
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I found a copy of the Aardsync II manual.

6/10/08

Here’s a copy of the Sync DA manual.

“High fidelity takes backseat to portability” (CNN.com)

The ubiquitousness of iPods and other Mp3 players has wreaked havoc on the high-fidelity stereo industry, and you know what? It’s loss isn’t really being mourned by the consumer. Now, even though I think most audiophiles are being ridiculously fleeced with overpriced gear, the fact that few people care how good their music sounds in general is a sad trend. Mp3s (at the standard 128kbps that most people digitize the material at) grossly lacks the quality of CDs, which were a step down from truly well-made LPs, but as one guy in this article states, he can’t really tell the difference.

I believe this overall loss of appreciation for audio quality is due to the fact that schools don’t educate anyone in music anymore (which is very detrimental for lots of other reasons), and it affects every aspect of music production and consumption. American Idol is full of singers who can’t keep a tune, have no real sense of rhythm, and who have little dynamic variation in their performance. And a vast majority of the artists who get signed to record labels are hardly better. Music execs as a rule know little or nothing about music as an art – they’re business people who can spot trends. And by the time the products of these processes get down to the consumer, the consumer can’t tell whether or not it’s crap anyway.

Anyone who is a professional in audio will tell you that audio is often treated as the retarded stepchild of the senses. And while I believe that even though audio is just as important and vibrant a sense as seeing, in the end, the truth of it is that things visual are easier to sell (think: pre-MTV vs. post-MTV), and don’t require training to have an opinion about it. Any dope on the street can tell you whether or not the like that particular color blue without having to take color theory, but few people can tell you if they like the sound of that clairnet without having taken ear training. People can’t hear the differences between and Mp3, a CD and an LP, because they have never been taught how to listen, either through music appreciation classes, or more formal ear training. In spite of the fact that training in music aids language skills and math skills, schools don’t teach these classes because they both lack funding, and lack understanding of it’s importance. As a composer and sound designer, I’ve worked with clients who can’t tell the difference between one sound and another, or one instrument or another. Not only does this make my work harder, it also makes it less appreciated (both aesthetically, and financially).

However, surprisingly there is contrasting increase in desire for audio quality is in movies/games/television. As more people get HDTVs, they realize that the visuals are incomplete without a boost in sound quality/space. So, most people go out and buy the Bose cube system, and a surround sound receiver. And while the Bose system isn’t the greatest, to me it is the first step in the right direction.

Film production is slowly going from 48k 16-bit audio, to 96k 24-bit audio (the difference between which is 6x the resolution and immediately discernable), and many DVDs come formatted that way (although right now it’s often a meaningless up-res, because the actual production of the film was done in 48k). Games are especially becoming more increasingly audio-centric, since the emotional component comes through the sound, esp. in a first person shooter. I actually believe that games are the future of sound as an appreciated art, since television commercials (an occasional pinnacle of sound use as an art) is slowly declining, and film sound has only rarely achieved the heights that it could have (most directors, who usually start off as artists or photographers, to their own admission know very little about sound, and their films show it, even if they don’t admit it). I haven’t quite put my finger on why there seems to be a crossfade between the loss of audio quality in music, but an increase in games. Perhaps its because music, having been practically turned into a commodity isn’t worth what it used to be. Many digital music consumers are genuinely under the impression that music should be free. How they expect artists to create music, pay for all the gear they need, and tour, etc. with no financial remuneration, I have no idea, but I guess I should lay that question at the door of the public school system. Games, on the other hand, can be completely sonically immersive, mostly through sound effects. So, it looks like there’s hope for audio fidelity, but I don’t think it’s quite clear yet how that hope will ultimately manifest itself. I think it may be a technological barrier.

A new blog I started with friends: People For A Perfect World.org. A satirical look at the people and legislation aimed at preventing every possible ill that could befall a person, privacy or personal responsibility be damned. The rest of us know that is an absurd (and dangerous) goal, but these people are honestly convinced that it is the right thing to do. Check it out, and if you come across any articles that would be interesting, send them to info (&at&)peopleforaperfectworld.org

THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED

Two words: 1) Courageous. 2) Dishonest.

On the one hand, I stand and cheer “Bravissimo!” for taking on the highly secretive nature of, the lack of open accountability and process of, and the lack of discernable criteria used by the MPAA Ratings Board, an anonymous group of “average American parents” who give all films in America their ratings. The investigative uncovering of the identities of the Ratings Board members was clever, exciting to watch (though could have been more confrontational), and ultimately a good dose of poetic justice at a system that obviously needs overhauling after almost 40 years of continued operation without so much as an oil change.

On the other hand, I found it ironic that while the filmmakers decried what seemed to be the MPAA’s unchecked power to “censor” American cinema, they did not interview one single “average (read: Red State) American parent” to see what they thought of the Board, or the ratings system in general. That’s not to say no parents were interviewed, but she was a lesbian filmmaker, who at best represents a fraction of the 3% of the population who is identifed as homosexual and also happens to be a parent, and thus, is hardly representative of the majority of Americans as the word “majority” is currently defined. In the after-premiere Q&A, the filmmakers said they wanted to get people to ask tough questions, yet if they really wanted to do that, they would have left the safe womb of L.A., and sallied forth to Kansas, Tennessee, Minnesota, and Idaho to find out whether or not parents in those locales found the ratings of most movies to be too liberal, or too conservative. Most of those parents, I believe, would generally find the MPAA ratings too liberal, but that would have undermined their ostensible argument that children under 17 would be better served by our society if they were permitted as oft as they were wont to see Tracy Ullman picking up an empty plastic soda bottle with her crotch, or Kevin Bacon getting his hiney raped by Colin Firth while bang-bang-banging (but lovingly) another woman. But the viewer will never know, because such parents were never asked that question, and thus, the filmmakers excluded a representative sample of dissent in precisely the same manner they think is excluded from the MPAA ratings system. This aspect of the film I found intellectually dishonest and thus, lacking in thoroughness, which weakened its otherwise overall deserved critique of the system itself. As my friend, Brian Godawa who saw the film with me said: “This movie was essentially some rapists pointing the finger at child molesters.”

However, getting back to the use of the word “censorship”, I believe that one can only talk about censorship proper when one is talking about governmental restrictions of artistic content. A non-governmental industry-owned ratings board does not possess the ex post facto ability to “censor” content, nor is it generally in it’s interests to do so, even when the film is controversial (since controversy is free advertising). It just reflects market forces, which is of course about money. Nobody at the MPAA is telling anyone you can’t make a movie about three young friends and their innocent coming-of-age mutual discovery of rusty trombones and cincinnati bowties in their parents’ attic. They’re just saying that you as a viewer should know that kind of thing is in this movie, and that children under 17 shouldn’t see it. Is that morally arbitrary? Yes, but is it not any less arbitrary to another segment of the population if content of a religious nature is deemed “Parental Guidance suggested”? Does an increasingly restrictive rating from the MPAA affect the bottom line of a film and does it limit its potential audience? Yes, but in the end, the bottom line would be affected anyway, and it’s audience limited anyway regardless of the rating. Determined pubescents can always Netflix it later if they really want to (BTW, this film was partially financed by Netflix). Does the secrecy, lack of openness, and lack of accountability of the Ratings Board make whatever good it might do seem pale in comparison to the conspiracy it comes across as (and probably is to one degree or another)? Most definitely.

The truth is that most people aren’t interested in seeing movies that crap all over their sensibilities for the sake of it, and ratings give people a general idea how to decide what films to see, if they haven’t already found out about it by word of mouth (which is much more powerful than any rating will ever be). But that’s not censorship in it’s proper sense, that’s merely the Free Market. Case in point: a 41 year-old father of two filmmaker friend of mine who is particularly careful about what content he allows himself to see, declined to come tonight to see THIS FILM IS NOT YET RATED, precisely because it was rated NC-17! Unlike me, who’s conscience is seared already, my friend does not see NC-17 movies because he feels that unless there is an extremely compelling reason to do so, an NC-17 rated movie will show him images that he consciously does not want to put in his brain. Is our society so craven that we think such a desire is reprehensible?

Nevertheless, I agree with several points the filmmakers make, including the one that America’s love of violence and it’s prudishness regarding sex should be inverted concerns. However, the reality is that that’s American culture. Like it or not, market forces in this country say that lots of violence is plenty OK, but back door pleasures, hitting for the other team, menage-a-trois, and lengthy female orgasms are less OK. We’re not the French, who like it the other way around. For some that may seem to be unfair, but a lack of fairness isn’t censorship. If it were, for reasons I already covered, the filmmakers would be guilty of it. Instead, it’s just propaganda, which is worse.

This film has been rated “D” (Docuganda), by the DF&C Fast Film Ratings Board.

“Angel of Light”

I recall an article from several years ago where an extremely wealthy man (not an American) was asked why his sons were such obscene spendthrifts. He, the son of a goatherder, had made his wealth through thrift and sacrifice, and his sons seemed to spend it faster than could be measured with modern scientific equipment. His reply was so well-spoken: “Because they are the sons of a rich man, whereas their father was not.”

Michael Berg (as are all who think like him, of which there seem to be many in America) is a metaphorical “son of a rich man”. In case you don’t remember, Michael Berg is the father of Nick Berg. Nick Berg, as it is hard to forget, was grusomely beheaded by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, recently bombed into oblivion by a couple of F-16s. Upon hearing of Zarqawi’s death, Michael Berg made some truly astounding pronoucements, one’s that can only be made by being the son of a rich man. What I mean by that is that he is a son who can afford to spend the wealth of peace painstakingly accrued through a careful, spirited and sometimes violent defense of one’s way of life by his forebears, on ideals so luxurious and expensive to a degree unfathomable to the rest of the world, such as:

> “George Bush is the one that invaded this country, George Bush is the one that destabilized it so that Zarqawi could get in, so that Zarqawi had a need to get in, to defend his region of the country from American invaders.”

> “Yeah, like George Bush didn’t OK the torture and death and rape of people in the Abu Ghraib prison for which my son was killed in retaliation?”

> “I am sure, knowing my son, that somewhere during their association with him these men became aware of what an extraordinary man my son was. I take comfort that when they did the awful thing they did, they weren’t quite as in to it as they might have been. I am sure that they came to admire him.”

>”I feel doubly bad, though, because Zarqawi is also a political figure, and his death will re-ignite yet another wave of revenge, and revenge is something that I do not follow, that I do want ask for, that I do not wish for against anybody. And it can’t end the cycle. As long as people use violence to combat violence, we will always have violence.”

>”Now, take someone who in 1991, who maybe had their family killed by an American bomb, their support system whisked away from them, someone who, instead of being 59, as I was when Nick died, was 5-years-old or 10-years-old. And then if I were that person, might I not learn how to fly a plane into a building or strap a bag of bombs to my back?”

>”Well, you know, I’m not saying Saddam Hussein was a good man, but he’s no worse than George Bush. Saddam Hussein didn’t pull the trigger, didn’t commit the rapes. Neither did George Bush. But both men are responsible for them under their reigns of terror.”

I think Michael Berg is an obscene spendthrift. Meaning, I think to come to a place where one honestly believes those things is truly to waste the wealth of peace acquired by our ancestors through the sacrifice and thrift of vigilance, on the most self-gratifying and transient of ideologies humanly conceivable. He’s not a windowshopper at an ideological Bergdorf-Goodman’s like most of his ilk. Oh no. He’s got his own personal shopper there who knows him by name, and he never even thinks about asking the price. Only the “son of a rich man” can afford to think that Zarqawi can be “rehabilitated”, that he is not deserving of the end he received, that his death is more lamentable than the hundreds of thousands purposefully killed by Saddam Hussein, and that killing him will only increase the resistance. These are not the thoughts of a “poor man”, that is, a man who knows nothing but the fear of death, like those who have lived and still live under the regimes of evil tyrants who kill all who dare to oppose their rule. They are the thoughts of a man who has lived in a land of candy canes and gumdrop smiles, where the evil heart of mankind is a fairy tale designed to scare little children towards good behavior, but which we find out when we mature that is no more real than Goldilocks and the Big Bad Wolf.

I feel sorry for Michael Berg, in the same way I feel sorry for Paris Hilton. Both live in incredibly superficial worlds and both have no real capacity to wrap their minds around reality, because both are children of incredibly wealthy parents. In one case literal wealthy parents, and in the other case, metaphorical, but in both cases the result is the same: children that are spoiled rotten. In Michael Berg’s case, he is the child of America, where we sue McDonald’s for our inability to shut our pie holes; where we think that plants feel pain when we eat them; where we force an entire school to ban peanut butter sandwiches because our child has an allergy; and where we prefer to make children feel good about what little they know, rather than show them what they don’t know, which inevitably makes them feel bad, but might inspire them too. Michael Berg is like the child who cannot delay gratification, and has problems later in life because he doesn’t have the capacity to save for a rainy day. His chosen ideology is the most classic of Freudian psychological defense mechanisms, because if he were to see the world as it really is, the world where awful things happen to good people, and it’s not George Bush’s fault, THAT would be his rainy day, and he would have had nothing saved for it. He would be forced to look at himself and say “If everyone in the world is evil, and I am evil, then what hope does humanity have?” Or, as Lenin (and Nikolai Chernyshevsky before him) would have put it “What is to be done?” Instead, he looks out the window at his dead son and chants to himself: “Rain, rain, go away/Come again another day/Rain, rain, go away/Little Michael wants to play.”

Well, I believe the question “What is to be done?” is precisely what Christ wants us to ask, because only when we ask this question do we have eyes to see and ears to hear the answer: there is no hope for humanity but in Christ, and Christ alone. And all around that hope lies the Gulf.

I made these at MrPicassoHead.

“Blessed Trinity”

“Hypostasis of Christ”

Audio blog of a good friend, and an elder/teacher at Glendale Presbyterian Church, Goran Dragolovic on Dostoevsky, to the Arts and Entertainment Ministry group here in L.A.

On Dostoevsky (1 hr 37 mins – 133 MB mp3 file [192kb compression])

There. Got your attention. But, it’s actually true. A Palestinian man named Taysir (Tass) Abu Saada came to an Adult Ed class this morning at my church (hosted by Goran Dragolovic) and gave his testimony about how he went from being a sniper for Fatah to a servant of Christ. He now has an organization called Hope For Ishmael which attempts to reconcile Palestinians (primarily Muslims) and Jews all together in Christ, so they can be reconciled to one another. It was a very interesting lecture, with a small question/answer period at the end, which I recorded so you can listen to it yourself. One thing I’ve got to give the guy credit for: he’s moving back to Gaza as a converted Christian. Recent events have enlightened us as to what Muslims like to do to people who have left Islam and converted to Christianity, so moving back to Gaza is essentially a digging of his own grave, unless God protects him. Please pray.

Download:

Part 1 (56 minutes – 77.6 MB mp3 file)

(small gap because battery ran out of my recorder, which BTW, is one of the best inventions in the audio world in decades.)

Part 2 (9 minutes – 12 MB mp3 file)

I have to admit that I have problems with Arabs and Arab culture. I’m not a jerk about it, I’m just being honest. It seems to me that Arabs as a people are overflowing with insatiable hubris, and adding Islam to that cultural point of view creates a really toxic and explosive confluence of cultural sludge rivers. It bothers me that seemingly everything with them revolves around “matters of face” because such concerns lead to nothing but conflict, which I think Arab culture evidences on a daily basis. But, merely the title of Tass’ organization gave me something truly serious to consider: Hope for Ishmael. I had to think: “Of course. Don’t the children of Ishmael need hope as well? Sure, Islam is pure poison and I hope it gets watered down like Unitarianism such that it loses all of it’s appeal, but Arabs themselves, both Muslim and non-Muslim need redemption just like the rest of us, and if they are utterly without hope for such redemption, then what’s the point of this Jesus thing anyway?” I really can’t be of service to Arabs and Muslims if I think they are not worthy of the hope of Christ.

(image credit to I can’t remember whom)

When i was a kid in NY, there was a cookie made by Nabisco that my parents used to buy called “Marshmallow Sandwich Cookies”. Best frigging cookie ever, that’s all I’ve got to say. I looked them up and came across this fanatic website, to which I had to add my own memories of the fabled treat:

> Oh man do I remember those as a little kid in the late 60s/early 70s in Mahopac, NY. I would literally inhale the entire box. As Homer Simpson is to donuts, I was to Marshmallow Sandwiches. The cookies were in two cardstock boxes with a waxish-paper lining in a blue box with yellow or white type. I still dream about eating them just one more time in a big heaping pile and pray frequently that Nabisco will bring them back into a limited production run so I can stock up on them as if for a nuclear holocaust. I once wrote to them (I still have the letter) and they said that Marshmallow Sandwiches were a limited production run in the Eastern Seaboard area for few decades and then stopped in the mid 70s. Nobody in California ever had any idea about these cookies and people always use to think I was talking about Mallomars, which of course was absurd because those have chocolate. Stupid Californians.

> Sometimes the cookie had the jelly in larger quantites than at others, but it was always there. It was usually firm-ish and I always figured that it was the “glue” that held the wafers together with the marshmallow. It had a unique flavor and reading some of the other comments I realize now that maybe it was just caramelized sugar from a hot marshmallow being pressed against the wafer to hold it in place. Whatever it was, it was part of the great taste of them. And, I recall that although the wafer looked just like a Nilla Wafer, it didn’t taste so much like one. I’m not sure what the story is with that.

> Here’s a great commercial idea for them: A bunch of 40-50-something baby boomer types (that would be us) back a white van through a grocery store right to the cookie aisle. They pile out wearing noses/glasses with realistic looking water guns, holding off the startled grocery store employees while they load the van with all the Marshmallow Sandwiches in the aisle, stepping mercilessly on Oreos and Fig Newtons strewn on the floor. A baby cries and a female thief brings the child a cookie, and you then hear happy gurgling sounds and cooing. After taking all the available cookies on the shelves, the crazed thieves make the manager go in the back and bring out the remaining pallates of delicious Marshmallow Sandwiches. They take off with their prize leaving everyone stunned, yet strangely curious about the stolen booty. The copy reads “Marshmallow Sandwiches: The Cookie Worth Losing Your Cookies Over.” ©2006 Neil Uchitel

According to William Arthur Ward, these are the mistakes to avoid:

* Remorse over yesterday’s failures.
* Anxiety over today’s problems.
* Worry over tomorrow’s uncertainty.
* Waste of the moment’s opportunity.
* Procrastination with one’s present duty.
* Resentment of another’s success.
* Criticism of a neighbor’s imperfection.
* Impatience with youth’s immaturity.
* Skepticism of our nation’s future.
* Unbelief in God’s providence.

Selah.

“Societies worse off ‘when they have God on their side’” (TimesOnline.co.uk)

I just can’t refrain commenting on this, because I think it is the most hilarious thing I’ve ever read. It’s also the worst science I’ve come across in a long time – utterly flawed on its face – worse than what evolutionists think of Intelligent Design theory. It reminds me of a syllogism a friend of mine wrote in college:

>Dr. Brown wears brown shoes.
>Dr. Brown is boring.
>The TA’s shoes are not quite so brown.
>Therefore, the TA is not quite so boring.

First, you cannot simply correlate higher rates of abortion, murder, and general lawlessness to the religious beliefs of a people unless you can show that the religious people are committing those crimes or that the religion influences them to do so. Second, and more importantly, you have to rewrite history to revise why the Jews, for example, have always done well in the societies in which they live, seeing as how they have always been religious as a group until the 20th century. One would also have to explain away the fact that Christianity and Judaism have always produced literate, economically powerful societies, and how godless or (Islamic ones) largely have not. I barely need to scratch the surface of history to easily prove this.

Third, to use contemporary America as baseline for a Christian society is a major axiomatic blunder, since any religious academic in this society will pretty much tell you that America is a post-Christian society. Look at America a 200 years ago, and you’ll see an America that is Christian, and conforms to NONE of Mr. Paul’s data.

I love this quote at the end:

> “The widely held fear that a Godless citizenry must experience societal disaster is therefore refuted.”

No, it’s more like “The widely held belief that godless sociology is not a societal disaster is therefore refuted.”

It’s always nice to have a good laugh in the middle of the day.

There once was a book, “88 Reasons Why the Rapture Is In 1988”, written by Edgar C. Whisenant. Maybe some of you remember it. Despite it’s compelling title, it doesn’t seem to have enjoyed the longevity that, let’s say, Nostradamus’ work has, but perhaps that’s because in retrospect his subject matter wasn’t quite as timeless. Nevertheless, it was a popular book at the time. I say this because the Christian Carnival is now 88 iterations-old, and as I was thinking about it, it popped into my head that 88 rhymes with eighty-eight, and that is what made me think of that book. I know the association between the two seems like the Department of Redundancy Dept., but to me its reminiscent of some of the lyrics to the Jon Wayne song “Texas Funeral”: “I went to daddy’s funeral just the other day/It’s just been three short days since he passed away/Seems he died from having too much to drink/That’s how his truck ended up in the drink”. Now, given my reference to those genius Cowboy Priests of the Absurd, one would predict that God eventually killed poor Whisenant. Nevertheless, he lived. We know this because, undaunted by the failure of his little myopic, Whisenant followed it with even littler and ever increasingly myopics: “The Final Shout: Rapture Report 1989”, “1990”, “1991”, “1992”, “1993”. The endless mercies of God never cease to surprise me.

Well, if you’ve visited DF&C before, you’ll notice something new: uhh…everything. This wasn’t exactly my doing, and I’m not exactly happy about it, but if you want to read more about that you may do so here. I haven’t contributed much to the Carnivals lately, for reasons some of you know (marriage, house, etc.), but this latest SNAFU really has thrown me off. Since right now and for the next several weeks I’ll be wandering aimlessly in the aftermath of a ISP admin hurricane tornado, I’m going to do what all people do in a time of crisis, and that is retreat to comforting old habits and patterns. For some people that’s Strawberry Poptarts and stealing televisions; in my case it would be “armchair critique” marked by the occasional verbal passing of wind, expertly timed. I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about. In any case, what that means is that below you will find all the posts for this week’s Christian Carnival, all of which I will read thoroughly, but as I am whimsically moved by my own inner jackass drive to have an opinion on nearly everything, I will add some personal commentary of my own. This is my house, after all, and if I want to put a trumpet in my rear and run around the house naked playing “Hallelujah, Yankee Doodle”, well, then that’s my prerogative. Not that I think that makes me a good person.

So, on to the Carnival, which has 53 entries this week! But before you do, go check out my Year in Review. It’s a compendium of my best posts over the last year. This will have to make up for the fact that my blog was burgled and I’ve been scrambling to restore it to it’s former glory! If you’ve never been here before, here’s About Me, and About DF&C. Normally I have a separate page for this, but my house is a mess right now. Email me with any linkage problems, if you did not get a trackback, or if I forgot to include your post. Enjoy!

(more…)

Much has been afoot at DF&C the last week! My account was suspended by my ISP due to illicit activity on the part of a malicious hacker who gained access to my ISP server through my WP software. As a result, they suspended my account until I could upgrade my blog from WP version 1.2 to 1.5. Arrgghh! The upgrade of the software was easy, but my old template I spent quite a bit of time on, and which isn’t compatible with the new software, so I’m forced to use one of the various “themes” that are readily available. I have never been aesthetically satisfied with “out of the box” solutions and so you’ll probably see quite a bit of visual madness until I can settle on a theme that suits me. Until then, thanks for shopping and come again soon!

I love how the media constantly reports that Bush is to blame for the state of the environment because he didn’t sign the Kyoto Protocol. What they always fail to mention is that Saint Bill (that is, Bill Clinton) didn’t submit the Protocol to the Senate in the first place because Kyoto could not do the two things that the U.S. Senate required: 1) that it not harm the U.S. economy and 2) it require meaningful participation by developing countries. People who claim that Bush’s refusal to jump on the Kyoto bandwagon makes him do so because either a) they are rabid environmentalists who inherently have no sense of practicality, and b) never read the thing. It was a bad document, that placed the burden of decrease primarily on the shoulders of the U.S. without realistically looking at China, India and the Third World.

Read this: “Ex-Clinton aides admit Kyoto treaty flawed” (USA Today)

John MacArthur, a man about whom I have a great deal of ambivalence, really tilted me towards the “bleech” side of the scale tonight on Larry King. He just couldn’t NOT get into arguments with Deepak Chopra and the other guests about irrelevant theological points to the discussion at hand: “Is Intelligent Design a Trojan Horse for Creationism”. Being the only Evangelical on Larry’s panel, he really did us Christians a major disservice by opening his mouth. Did you see the show?

That’s all I have to say about that right now because I have to go eat ice cream.

Pat Robertson is a double dumbass for saying that the U.S. should assassinate Hugo Chavez.

Hugo Chavez is a fascist and dangerously unstable man who probably should be taken out of the gene pool, but rather by his own people.

People are dumbasses in general, but that doesn’t seem to be something that anyone wants to believe.

Believe it or not, the BTK killer isn’t a monster, he’s just a typical, run-of-the-mill human being.

Thank you very much. Try the veal.

Today, Robert Moog, the inventor of the modern synthesizer, died. My first encounter with the sound of the Moog was through Wendy Carlos’ watershed album, Switched-On Bach, created exclusively with a Moog synthesizer and which still stands to this day as an electronic orchestrational masterpiece. I was not terribly interested in music when I was younger, but I had something of a religious experience with it shortly after I became a Christian at 15, and one of the first albums I purchased after this experience was Switched On Bach. The first time I listened to it, I cried, because it cast a light on a style of music I had never even known existed: it was incredibly full of life, wit, and joy, and it made me want find out more about it. This, ironically, coming from an instrument which was decidedly not “natural”, and for all of it’s progressiveness, not exactly easy to use. This album prompted me to explore the classical music in much greater depth, and shortly thereafter, I decided to become a composer. So, I give Bob Moog some credit for my vocational choice, and while I never knew him, he influenced me nonetheless, and I thank him for that.

I have a very simple explanation about why Cindy Sheehan is saying all of the incredibly ill-thought things she’s been saying lately:

Our society, which has in this Post Christian era attempted to sanitize all indications of the Fall of Creation out of it in order to construct, like the Tower of Babel, a perfect human society, does not have any structures for public grief. Cindy Sheehan is splaying herself on the doorstep of the President (and the Media), not because she believes in her heart of hearts that Bush really is a terrorist or that this society really is the greatest evil the world has ever seen, but because this society, in trying to create a world without pain, has taken away her public forum to express the pain that’s not supposed to be there anymore. In other words, she simply has nowhere else to go to weep for her lost son. If she were an Israeli woman, she could tear at her clothes and scream and carry on in public like a lunatic because in Israel, that’s what you do when you lose someone you love. Jewish society has that release valve as a standard feature, for the express purpose of giving an outlet to existential sorrow that cannot be assuaged any other way but by carrying on like a lunatic.

But in America, just like we have few public toilets, we have almost no culturally acceptable public outlet for grieving. We do, however, have the Media, and since the Media sits and waits like an Andy Gump to collect public excrement and spew it back out at us to make a buck, it has therefore quite naturally become our public grief toilet. So, while I can’t stand to listen to any more of Cindy Sheehan’s increasingly irrational (and increasingly puppetiered) anti-war, anti-American monkey screech, I can’t completely blame it all on her. She’s only taking a piss because there aren’t any public toilets, and hey, when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.