Geekologie I Watch Stuff The Superficial

Almost Seven-Foot Samus Aran Papercraft Sculpture

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This is a 6-foot, 10-inch papercraft Samus Aran sculpture made from nothing but paper, glue and patience by skilled paper folder IAmThatOneGuy. Me? IAmNOTThatOneGuy. As a matter of fact, you and I haven't even met before. And if the cops show up I was never here and I DEFINITELY didn't leave traveling west on a scooter. I dunno, tell them I ducked into a sewer with a Ninja Turtle or something. But not Donatello -- one of the cool ones.

Hit the jump for some closeups and full-body shots.

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Ancient Female Gladiator Sculpture Found (She's Topless!)

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According to experts, if confirmed, this will be only the second depiction of a female Roman gladiator ever found, but even more impressive than the first considering this one killed whatever the hell she did with only one a single hand and leg. I wouldn't f*** with her if I were you.

The gladiator statue shows a topless woman, wearing only a loincloth and a bandage around her left knee. Her hair is long, although neat, and in the air she raises what the researcher, Alfonso Manas of the University of Granada, believes is a sica, a short curved sword used by gladiators. The gesture she gives is a "salute to the people, to the crowd," Manas said, an action done by victorious gladiators at the end of a fight.


The female fighter is looking down at the ground, presumably at her fallen opponent.

Listen: I'm all for imagining badass female gladiators killing shit with their titties flailing around, but I'm pretty sure that's just a guy with nice hair and moobs. "And no bulge in his loincloth?" Hell no -- you gotta tuck your meat when you're fighting lions!

Rare Ancient Statue Depicts Topless Female Gladiator [livescience]

Thanks to FloorMatt, who fights lions the old fashioned way: luring them to the edge of a cliff and then jumping out of the way real quick when they lunge. I...wow -- I can't believe you can even jump with the size balls you must be toting.

Never The Same Place Twice: Lightning Strike World Map

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Note: Larger version HERE for a better view.

This is a world map of lightning strikes as measured in lightning flashes per square kilometer per year. And the winner is...the heart of Africa! Congratulations, now we need to find out a way to turn that into usable electricity. You know how they say lightning never strikes the same place twice? Well that's a lie. Because one time I was talking to this old-timer at the bar and he told me he'd been struck twice -- both times in the head. I believe him too. He said the second bolt made his pecker stop working, and that's not something you lie about to make people think you're cool.

A map of where lightning strikes most across the globe [io9]

Thanks to Rezah, who tried to harness lightning to cook a hotdog once but just set his arm on fire. Jesus, hold with a rubber glove next time!

No Clue: Man Wearing Sealed Fishbowl w/ Fish On Head

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This is a man wearing a sealed fishbowl over his head and breathing out of some sort of homemade respirator. Why? The same reason men do anything -- to gain the attention of the opposite sex. Just look at those two ladies in the picture. You know what they're thinking? I'm so f***ing glad we're lesbians.

Not giving a f*** [reddit]

Thanks to Jeremy, who used to wear a mouse cage on his head until they started clawing his eyeballs out because I told them there was cheese in his brain.

3-Minutes Of Reporters Saying Things They Shouldn't

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Note: NSFW language, just put your headphones in and pretend you're catching up on the news.

So it's only mid-April and already we've got a 2012 blooper reel of reporters accidentally saying penis, hooters and boner on-air. Wow, these people might actually suck at their jobs as bad as I do. The only difference? "You say all those things on purpose." *wink*

Hit the jump for the FCC fines in action.

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Your Enemies Were Fragile: Intricate Porcelain Skulls

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Skulls: we all have them. Some might be thicker than others allowing less room for a brain, but that's okay (I was talking about you!). This is a gallery of elaborate porcelain skulls created by artist Katsuyo Aoki. Now I like collecting the skulls of my enemies as much as the next bloodthirsty warrior, but never have I come across anything so delicate. "You've obviously never killed a witch before." Oh right, and you have? "No, but a friend of mine--" Please, you don't have any friends!

Hit the jump for a bunch of different ones.

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You Really Spent Time On That: Animated Zelda Musical

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This is a fairly worthwhile animated Legend of Zelda musical. The production value and overall quality is high, but if musicals aren't your thing you probably won't like it. "Pfft, musicals are for girls!" No they're not either -- what about Phantom of the Opera? "That's the only good one." Haha, that is the only good one.

Hit the jump for the at least skip around for ten seconds so I don't feel like this was all in vain even though I know it 100% was.

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Shocking: Human Remains Found Near Titanic Wreck

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In news that may blow some people's minds (and to commemorate the the 100 year anniversary of the disaster), authorities re-released these photos they believe depict the remains of one unfortunate Titanic passenger who came to rest near the stern. Wow, really hard to believe considering 1,514 PEOPLE WENT DOWN WITH THE SHIP. That's like being surprised you found noodles in a pasta dish.

Hit the jump for two more with less crab.

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