Jeannie Dean: Exactly Six Hours Ahead of Her Time

HOMEComedy. For some it's a living...for her it's a calling. jeanniedeanphotography by Mary Lolly

ukulele benny edit

jeannie_jeanniedean.comABOUT BEHIND THE FIG-LEAVES A poster girl for the working class and the disappearing middle, Jeannie Dean has had a successful comedy career in fits and starts (mostly fits) for over a decade. Born the half-Jewish, southern daughter of a liberal political science professor, she had no choice but to grow up funny. Later she struggled to not be quite as funny, but it didn't work out. While playing an innocuous nun in her high school production of "The Sound of Music", she accidentally brought the house down. Miss Dean has been featured at some of the finest comedy clubs in the country, including Stand Up NY, Gotham Comedy Club, McCurdy's Comedy Club (FL) and The Velveeta Room (TX) just to name them all. She has been honored to have shared the stage with such favorites as Ray Romano and Brett Leake; and was a featured performer / writer with the Esther's Follies Comedy Troupe in Austin, Texas, where they don't know from Jews. There, she blazed a Hee-haw-larious trail through the Texas Penitentiary Comedy Circuit, where seven out of ten death row inmates said she was better than their last meal. Jeannie enjoys writing and opening for other comedians (read: more successful) which is better because it's less accountability and she's all for that. Feel free to contact Jeannie for bookings, jokes, script doctoring, song parodies, sketch-writing, voice-over work, ukulele croonings, or if you have questions about the huge obstacles we face fixing our nation's ever-failing, completely privatized voting systems. If anyone can make sexing-up election law look easy - it's the ever intoxication-al, always superlative-y Jeannie Dean.STAND UP

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Stand Up DemoBIO / REELRESUMEUPCOMING APPEARANCESDOWNLOAD PRESS KITPhotography by Eric LaBorieEVENTSNext Show: JEANNIE DEAN: ** IMPOSTER: PART 2 ** All New Material! *SAT. APRIL 30th _ 7:30 PM*THE COMEDY STORETKTS $10.00 / 2 drink minimum8433 West Sunset Boulevard IN THE "ORIGINAL ROOM"TICKETS WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE BOX OFFICE PRIOR TO THE SHOW or email: jeannie_jeanniedean.comBLOGCARTOONS

angry because I would not play

stoned manipulator

curiocity

mom and dad guess what

everyone's a critic

devious manipulating granny card

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georges

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ORDER(Click images to engorge)SONG PARODYRed Hummingbird "Euthanize Me" Music & Lyrics by Jeannie Dean"Sexy Seniors"

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Lyrics by Jeannie Dean & Anthony Stanek performed by Jeannie Dean"One More Minute"

music and lyrics by Weird Al Yankovic performed (as homage) by Jeannie Deanfeatured Rocky Cartwright Cover of the month:"Bei Mir Bist Du Schoen"

bei mir bist du schoen-my space

RESUMEStand up RES 1JEANNIE DEAN Comedy Writer/ Performer/ Urban Legend email: jeannie_jeanniedean.com STAND UP APPEARANCES 1993-2005:McCURDYs Comedy Club Opening Act for for DC Malone, 20053333 Tamiami Trail Sarasota, FL BILLIONAIRES FOR BUSH Feature, Billionaires Inaugural Ball2004 Republican National ConventionThe LAUGH LOUNGE Regular, 2004151 Essex St. NY, NY GOTHAM Comedy Club w/ Sue Costello and Jessica Kirson, 2003 208 W. 23rd St. NY, NY MOVIE-OKIE! _ The Den of Cin Hostess / Emcee, 2003 - 200444 Ave A NY, NYTWO BOOTS Comedy Night Director/ Writer/ Performer, 1998 - 2000 514 2nd St.Brooklyn, NYThe VELVEETA ROOM Feature, 1995 - 1996521 E. 6th St. Austin, TXCOZZY'S Comedy Club and Tavern Regular, Opening Act for Brett Leake, 1994 9700 Warwick Blvd. Newport News, VA STAND UP N.Y w/ Ray Romano and Al Lubell, 1993 236 W. 78th St. NY, NYThoroughgood Inn Placed 2nd (only half Jewish) , 1992 Annual Jewish Comedy CompetitionVirginia Beach, VA The SPOTLIGHT Opening Act, Bingo-Kozingo-the-nipple-pinching-Jew, 1992MacDougal St. NY, NYStand up RES 2 SKETCH / WRITING/ PERFORMING:ESTHER'S FOLLIES -- Writer / Performer Austin, Texas (1995-1997) Originating in 1976, Esthers Follies is a delightful, infamous jungle gym of political satire, topical humor, musical parody, character work, and magic acts; required expertise in the writing and execution of comedy material, emphasizing the rigid structure of sketch. OFF-BROADWAY: COLLABORATIVE ARTS PROJECT 21 -- Writer / Performer (all original material) Hudson Guild Theater, New York, N.Y. (1994) Produced NAUSEOUS NEATH THE STARS , a one-woman, interactive character piece based on my astute (if not riotous) observations of the erroneous New-Age lecture circuit. STUDIO ONE PRODUCTIONS--Featured Singer / Comedian New York, NY. (1990) Musical revue based on the titillating works of A.R. Gurney. No reviews are available because no one saw the show, but my parents and my fifth grade teacher assured me I was very, very funny. PATENTS / PUBLICATIONS / AWARDS:SEPARATE CHECKS - a vile one-act playNAUSEOUS 'NEATH THE STARS - a one-woman romp (Playbill was printed out on one hundred twenty six air-sick bags donated by U.S. Air in exchange for this promotion).O! HOW I HATE YOU, (INSERT POLITICIAN'S NAME HERE) - collection of critically acclaimed, populist rage-pomes ONE STATE, TWO STATE, RED STATE, BLUE STATE -- baby's first false political meme primerOFFICER VOLPE - now legendary musical send up of the NY Police Dept's anal, toilet plunger, sodomy scandal set to the tune of WEST SIDE STORY classic.LIVIN' LA VIDA BROKA - personal memoir / song parody anthem for a generationTHREE YEAR REGIONAL CHAMPION, BROOKLYN - Jagerblading, (2001 - 2002)HONORABLE MENTION - International Israeli Holocaust Cartoon Competition, (2006)EDUCATION: THE AMERICAN MUSICAL AND DRAMATIC ACADEMY NY, NY. (1990-1991) GEORGE MASON UNIVERSITYFairfax, Va. (1989 - 1990)BACKBIOJEANNIE DEAN: THE FUNNIEST BROAD YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF...There are legends who have entertained millions...and then there are legends who've entertained millions -- one at a time.Jeannie Dean is almost just such a legend.Born the half-Jewish, southern daughter of a liberal political science professor, she had no choice but to grow up funny. Later Jeannie struggled to not be quite as funny - but it didn't work out. While playing an innocuous nun in her high school production of "The Sound of Music", she accidentally brought the house down.At the ripe age of nineteen, she moved to New York City to pursue what was to be a sure thing career in comedy. Within just ten short years, she was well on her way to becoming "the world's least well-known funny person in America not doing impersonations of drunk people." **Miss Dean has been featured at some of the finest comedy clubs in the country, including Stand Up NY, Gotham Comedy Club, McCurdy's Comedy Club (FL) and The Velveeta Room (TX) just to name them all. She has shared the stage with such favorites as Ray Romano and Brett Leake, and was a featured performer / writer with the Esther's Follies Comedy Troupe in Austin, Texas, where they don't know from Jews. There, she blazed a Hee-haw-lareous trail through the Texas Penitentiary Comedy Circuit, where seven out of ten death row inmates said she was better than their last meal.After the Great Goat Scare of Aught '04, Jeannie Dean fled the trappings of the big city for the even bigger trappings of a different city. She continues to traverse the country, going from town to town with her ukulele and her cartoons, making sure that every red-blooded American gets their laughs the way God intended...one on one.Miss Dean is also the author of the books, "101 Reasons to Skip Town", "Vaudeville for Dummies", and the best selling childrens' political primer, "One State, Two State, Red State, Blue State".(**COMEDY YES-FEST, Local Chapter Review)BACKREELURBAN LEGENDEIPIBAD U.S.ELECTIONS Caught on FilmCamera

VIDEO THE VOTE PROMO/ PFAW: Problems with 2006 Elections

My footage featured in VIDEO THE VOTE.ORG's FL-13 2006 Documentation: 18,412 Missing Votes..."RECALL VOTING MACHINES" PROMO:
2008 Florida Primaries:

RECALL VOTING MACHINES: A Logo-ROMP before the PRIMARIES....

w/ BLACK BOX VOTING.ORG's 2008 New Hampshire Primary RECOUNT INVESTIGATION - Manchester Ward 5 Diebold-Premeire Manual Override - PART 3CONTACTRecommended: The BEST WRITER I've ever slept with: SAM MOSSLER...FeedI sort of live over _ my YOUTUBE Channel...Feed...& you can always find me over at THE BRAD BLOG for REAL NEWS.FeedCONTACT MEjeannie_jeanniedean.comYes, of course I TWeeT...FeedHUMORISTTurn Around Honorable Mention WINNER! ** 2006 International Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoon ContestOwl with SignClick HERE to see other entries. ****BEFORE YOU RIP OFF AN ANGRY LETTER!!** Remember, I'm a Jew. As were ALL the artists in this competition:**The Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoons Contest (Hebrew: תחרות קריקטורות אנטישמיות ישראלית) was initiated by two Israeli artists in response to the Muhammad cartoons controversy and the subsequent "Holocaust Cartoon Competition" by the Iranian newspaper Hamshahri. Illustrator Amitai Sandy announced the contest on the website of his Tel Aviv-based graphic arts company on February 14, 2006, stating, "We'll show the world we can do the best, sharpest, most offensive Jew hating cartoons ever published! No Iranian will beat us on our home turf!"** (Click image to engorge)REEL Film Trailer: "Fabulous Divas of Broadway" / 2010

Fab Divas Trailer QT

Interview w/ MimoZine _ The Rally to Restore Sanity / Fear 2010 Showtime Promo: "Lock N' Load" / 2009

BACK TO BIOCOMING SOONComing Soon...EPKjeannie's resume BACKRAGE POMES POMES Of An ENRAGED POPULIST slide 1"O, How I Hate You Ben Bernanke!" and Other Timely Pomes of Enraged Populism by Jeannie Deanslide 2 O, How I Hate You, Ben BernankeO, How I Hate you Ben Bernanke ! Wanna blacken your ass with a killer spank-y, Wanna Smyte you, Indict you, Tighty-Whitey-Jello-Fight you, Wedgie you, De-hedgey you, Sack you, Whack you, and Fannie-Freddie-Mac you. I watched your Senate confirmation play today and much to my middle-classian dismay, I heard you say that your FED knows just what to loot next Our Medicare and Social Security - what a lovely pretext for Holiday Cheer! I wouldve thought maybe a tax at the top for the assholes who got us into this sop. (Otherwise known as your PEERS.) But hey, that's why I'm not the high-paid puppet toad-y Able to use taxpayer funds for my bonus runs To deal out my pals an even bigger pay-loady. 2.slide 3Not even Seuss himself could've guessed the wond'rous things you'd sqeeze down the chimney to take from us next Mad Bernanke, intending to steal the last sacred crumbs of Roosevelt’s New Deal. (Gotta hand it to you, you silver, goat-bloated, Grinch. What ELSE does one get for YOUR kind of pals in a holiday pinch?) I wonder, tho, Ben Bernanke Won't you pay, someday, for this shameless attack-y; this unprovoked middle-class ransack-y? Now codified as the norm, We, the taxpayers, get to bail you Turds out for God knows how many future economic storms. Open heist as new economic protocol; you blow our wad - we take the fall. A criminal, critical mass of a mess you've managed to spike and sell back to us at a 32 percent interest-rate hike.3.slide 4Not soley noted as a minor flaw, Ben Bernanke, That you've openly flambayed the principals of our once great Nation.. Frankly, you Soulless, Rancid Hole - If this were France in 1780 your head would fuckin’ roll. (Oh, and) What a 'not-shock' to see the Congress rake you only to right away confirm you and then inflate you. What’s next? Play house n’ masturbate you? I wouldn’t be surprised (Tho’ I don’t think for a second it would sate you - it's far too dignified.) O, How I hate you Ben Bernanke you rank-y, stank-y, uber blank-y! What can you do to assuage my rage?. . . 4.slide 5Resign, Douche. Barring that, you could kiss my toosh. Or have your pals at Goldman work for minimum wage ... Too big to fail? I’ll show you too small to succeed And you can strip me of my last red cent to pad your insatiable life of greed And together we can lick n' pick the silver platter Lysol-clean or, as it also follows, Dick, together we will hit the wall - with my 1% of nothing and your 99% of all. --Jeannie Dean 12/3/20095.slide 6 O, How I Hate You, George Pataki O, how I hate you, George Pataki, More so now than after the attack-y (When I watched you): Touring Ground Zero, Exploiting the Heroes, You postured and posed there, Lied about the air there, Halted our work there, to do circle jerks there, Made empty speeches, about jurisdiction and leases, turning our Citys Tragic Mess, into a State vs. Local pissing contest... And it didnt escape our notice, you puss-bearing tool, as we escorted you through the 16 acre toxic crater - That you were the only one of us there issued a working respirator. 6.slide 7And now, today, I hear you say you're too frightened to see our justice system in play? That the Rule of Law we supposedly prize (you know, the same one for which you say we're despised) is dangerous? Insufficient? A risk we cant take? Isn't that what YOU used to say would be our biggest mistake? 'If we cave into fear', you'd tell us On-Site, we give them the moral victory over our American way of life? Funny how we never hear THAT - now eight years in - Remember: "If we do ('BLAH BLAH BLAH') then the TERRORISTS WIN ? 7.slide 8A Trial by Jury is somehow a blot? Some left wing plot? That the law should apply to 'us', but 'they' can go rot? You ball-less coward! Be a man! Honor our dead! (Even if you can't honor one thing that you've said.) One more thing, you Bastard-pie Pataki, with this rhetoric you recruit for the side you mean to shellack-y, (one would think you'd prefer to be in Iraq-i!) Someone should school you, you jowley lump, Not only do you embody the paranoid chump, But Muslim Extremists will make you their lacky when your words only prove and help them to back-y our democracy is so steeped in hypocrisyslide 9that American justice is a joke and a sham; if even a political heavyweight (former) Governor hack-y admits our Due Process ain't worth a damn. Which makes me wonder about you, man - are you a sycophant? Or just an Al-Qaeda plant? by Jeannie Dean 11/16/2009 ******************* (Coming soon: Companion Pome: "You Know Who Can Go Fuck Himself? That Rudolf Guiliani") 9.slide 10Rick Santorum's Concession Speech: "Ne'er Music So Sweet!"Santorum's Concession Speech Ne'er Music So Sweet! I have waited a lifetime (two terms plus two) for this plucky-dew-feel And Lo! In a Festering Democracy born anew I am bath'ed in joy real... Concession does as Concession dares so I will also bravely bare mine here so far as it is felt-- Mr. Santorum, I spoke with God (a gift that poets and hookers share) and he told me that you should take this defeat as a 'sign' from Him to get some help. 10.Page 11Your jumpy children weep so easily and yet the Nation does not wonder why... Do you? Do you know why your pasty children weep on camera so? Could it be because their Daddy's super-weaselly? (They will probably end up gay BECAUSE of you, God wanted you to know.) 'Santorum' is Latin for asshole - Tis True! Thus, only a real sphinctor 'twould name a bill after you. Oh, I'm sorry--was that you?... (Hard to believe intelligent design would be so hard to push through! And from a SUCH huge member, too! ) O! VILE "Santorum Amendment"! Fuck Thyself and Adieu! 11.Page 12(Rick Santorum pictured here in 2005 receiving campaign money from the powerful and influential Lobbyists for Future Young Republican Math and Science Tutors of America. Subpoena records indicate Santorum received free math tutoring in exchange for political favors, although no science lessons were ever solicited. Can YOU spot the token Fed? Santorum couldn't.)--Jeannie Dean 11/6/200612.Page 13
Magic 'Trust Me' Button 13.writercomediansatire-activisthumoristurban legendcartoonist...election integrity investigator

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