Tweets
- Tweets
- Tweets & replies
- Photos & videos
@vmarinelli is blocked
Are you sure you want to view these Tweets? Viewing Tweets won't unblock @vmarinelli.
Having a creative breakdown. I mean nervous breakthrough.
2 retweets 8 favoritesDudes on the bus discussing their criminal histories. All agree that paying child support is invariably the Right Thing to Do. Fascinating.
1 retweet 4 favoritesI, too, could be a Thought Leader (but on limited topics, say, "pantslessness" and "oh God I'm gonna miss this bus")
1 retweet 3 favorites
Repeat after me: "Thank you for the invite but I'm gonna stay home and write."
399 retweets 668 favoritesMidway through The Lord of the Rings 6-disc trilogy, I can't help but wonder why Frodo wouldn't just hide the damned thing in his butt.
I should write an advice column.
1 retweet 3 favoritesHow to have a very surprised boyfriend: Raspberry his butt right after he comes.
Weiner dog in a raincoat. I repeat, WEINER DOG IN A RAINCOAT.
7 favorites(and means it!) (and it's good booty too!)
1 favoriteLove a partner who—moments into the booty, when I realize I'm late for Meeting—says "It's OK, I prioritize your spiritual development."
Unrelated: My lengthening list of movies of which I have only seen the first minute.
4 favorites10 minutes bickering over what to stream on Netflix, 1 minute watching actual movie, rest of the minutes making out, etc.
1 favorite"Well, better I find out now than when I read it in your memoir." They grow up so fast, guys.
1 favorite"I don't think I'll procreate. I mean, there's always abduction." "..." "I MEAN ADOPTION!" "You'll want to be clear on the difference."
8 favorites"These are not my scars. These are the love bites of history."
Seriously, do I have a note on my head that says "tell me about your overactive mucous gland"? Because I get that a lot.
2 favorites
If you tweet DUI checkpoints tonight, you're a total asshole
10 retweets 16 favoritesDon't think of it as "missing the bus." It's more like "early to hear complete medical histories of strangers while waiting on the next bus"
1 retweet 3 favoritesTwitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup.
Visit Twitter Status for more information.