101 easy steps to having it all

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford on having it all.

I am delighted to report, you can have it all.

But ... where will I put it?

Are you a good American? Educated and grass-fed and reasonably free? Then you’ve been hard-wired to believe that “all” denotes some idealized configuration of babies, career, income, marriage, acclaim, health and love and a second house by the beach, all in relatively non-stressful “work/life balance” and with only two full-time nannies, three personal trainers and maybe a mistress on the side — just to, you know, round things out.

Trust me on this one, young Mark - there's a whole lotta that shit you can skip and still be happy as a clam!

Here is what the wise ones, the wisdom masters throughout the ages tell us, over and over, with a wink and a gleam. You want to have it all? Stop looking for it. Stop thinking it can be figured out, achieved, claimed as your own. This is the great myth wrapped in a lie dipped in the molten goo of your happy, runaway ego. This way madness lies.

OK, you get it.

It means being in true alignment. It means being so deeply present, so connected, so alive, so pulsing and breathing and awake in the moment you are in that no matter what your job status, kid status, celebrity status, no matter where you live or to whom you are married, life is already full to bursting. You have it all in this very breath, right here.

At my age, it's the next breath that matters. Heh.

Word ...

Pic stolen from the Meme GOP FB page.

Hey, hey ...

We're the Monks:

Monks are known for living peaceful lives with plenty of time dedicated to study and prayer.

But the Benedictine monks at Ampleforth Abbey in North Yorkshire have also found another way to fill their days - brewing beer.

...

Being the beer snob that I am, I've found that some of the best beer in the world is made in monasteries. The next time I'm in England, I'm gonna have to take a trip to Yorkshire. "Excuse me, Brother, do you ship?" Heh ...

If this can happen ...

There can be peace in the Holy Land.

The Queen and former IRA commander Martin McGuinness have shaken hands for the first time.

The meeting between the monarch and Northern Ireland's deputy first minister took place at the Lyric Theatre in Belfast on Wednesday.

...

The Troubles were almost as big a news item as the Vietnam War was when I was growing up. If the Queen can meet and shake hands with McGuinness, someone with the will can surely broker a peace in Palestine.

Gah ...

I saw it on FB but Montag grabbed it too so I'll just send you over there:

In support of Gay Pride, the makers of Oreo cookies put a picture of an Oreo with rainbow layers of filling. Like setting a match to a long string of firecrackers, the hate mongers came out to express their outrage that their favorite cookie had gone gay ...

Gruber can run but he can't hide

Raw Story

During a recent interview, anti-tax crusader Grover Norquist struggled to explain his ties to a pharmaceutical trade group and then “took off” when he was asked about his history lobbying for home loan-backer Fannie Mae, an organization that he now criticizes.
...

The reporters pressed Norquist on whether there was an “extorting effect” on his organization, Americans for Tax Reform (ATR), after they took $140,000 from industry trade group PhRMA and then opposed drug reimportation.

"Extortion", shit. He's just another Repug whore.

“I mean, he was a lobbyist for Fannie Mae, he was a lobbyist for Internet gambling … he was connected to Jack Abramoff,” Wolf told MSNBC. “When people sign the pledge, they didn’t really know that it goes to that point.”

The way all this shit is coming out about the unsavory and hopefully illegal maneuvers the top Repugs are doing/have done, I gotta call my broker and diversify my portfolio into Tar & Feathers and Pitchforks & Scythes.

Yo, Fat Tony - Time To Go

Think Progress

Justice Scalia Cites Pro-Slavery Laws Excluding ‘Freed Blacks’ To Justify His Anti-Immigrant Opinion

This kind of thing is, sadly, common in Scalia’s opinions. He’s defended torture and finds little wrong with executing the innocent. When a majority of his colleagues reached the radical conclusion that people have a right to choose their own sex partners, Scalia railed against them for embracing the “homosexual agenda.” During oral arguments over the Affordable Care Act, Scalia seemed unable to distinguish legal arguments from partisan talking points.

Nevertheless, looking to slaveholding states for guidance is beyond the pale, even for Scalia.

We need this clown on the highest court in the land like we need another itchy asshole.

Update:

SB 1070 and the Scalia Clown Show

[...] I had no idea that states could preempt federal law as long as the federal government is exercising its powers in ways that Antonin Scalia doesn’t like.

In conclusion, Antonin Scalia believes in the rule of law and you don’t. Shame on you!

I don't believe in the same kind of law that he does, that's for damn sure.

Also:

Interesting take on Fat Tony's whiny-ass rant yesterday. Probably not much to it but ¿quien sabe?

Headline of the Day

David Brooks Should Not Be Allowed to Listen to Bruce Springsteen

Heh...

Start 'em young ...

And keep 'em dumb. Really?

It sounds like a hoax, but it’s apparently true: The Loch Ness Monster is on the science class syllabus for kids at Eternity Christian Academy in Westlake, Louisiana.

As reported by the Herald Scotland (which must track all Loch Ness-related news), a school that will receive tax-payer dollars, will teach kids that the mythological sea creature is real in order to debunk the theory of evolution. So pay attention: That will be on the test.

...

Even Jesus weeps ...

Quote of the Day

Mr. Philadelphia:

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Ah how we laughed and laughed at Japan, confident we'd "learned the lessons of Japan."

Heh ...

Pic stolen from the Teabonics FB page.

About time ...

Somebody in that part of the world decided to clean up their own messes:

Turkey branded its former ally Syria "a clear and imminent threat," on Tuesday as its Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan vented his fury over the downing of a Turkish fighter jet.

In his most outspoken criticism of the Damascus regime, Erdogan vowed to retaliate against the "heinous act" and promised a change of military attitude to any Syrian officer approaching the common border.

...

Sorry, but I'm sick and tired of dumping our money into shithole after shithole over there. It's always "death to America" until they have a problem, and then they look to us (Kuwait, Libya). How about hitting up the Saudis too, and the Bahrainis, and all the others with money and Western-style militaries? Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with helping people who need it, but I'm tired of this country being thought of as the oil sheikhs' mercenaries or Israel's babysitter. Fuck them all.

This is why I'm so supportive of efforts to discover alternative energy sources. The day we do, we'll be able to tell all these desert rats to leave off. This way, they can all kill each other and no one will give a shit. Until then, we will continue to get drawn into that soap opera ad infinitum.

Addendum for all the people who say we should protect Israel (as if they can't protect themselves, they have nukes, for crying out loud): You're that worried about the Israelis? Pack 'em all up and relocate 'em to Florida. They exert enough influence on our foreign policy, they might as well pay taxes too.

20 years too late ...

How long have I been saying (when I bore you with European economics) that in order for the Euro concept to work, there has to be a unified monetary policy across all of the member states? Seems that's sunk in, finally.

European leaders have drafted a radical plan to turn the 17 countries of the eurozone into a full-fledged political federation within a decade in an attempt to placate the financial markets by demonstrating a political will to save the single currency in the medium-term.

The incendiary proposals for a banking, fiscal, and economic unions resulting in a “political union” are to be debated at an EU summit on Thursday and Friday. Following two bad-tempered meetings of European leaders in Mexico and Rome over the past week, the Brussels summit looks likely to see major clashes over the future of Europe as well as the immediate crisis surrounding sovereign debt, bad banks, and the euro’s survival.

...

The Germans will never go for it, but at least some of them realize they made a gigantic mistake by not insisting on it when the Eurozone was formed.

Birds of a feather ...

If you're a religious leader trying to bring your flock's "values" back to the Dark Ages, who else are you gonna hire to run your PR effort?

The Vatican will be getting some (much needed) PR help after hiring a Fox News correspondent as a senior communications adviser for the Church's top administrative office, the Associated Press reported on Saturday.

The Fox News staffer, Greg Burke, is also a member of the conservative Catholic Opus Dei group. He will leave his job at Fox, where he is a Rome-based reporter. Before working for Fox, Burke was a Rome-based journalist for Time.

...

But of course.

Good luck with that ...

Like I've mentioned many times, I have more nuns in my family than Carter has pills. They do Jesus' work, all of them missionaries or teachers, helping the poor in impoverished places. So, naturally, I got a problem with this asshole:

A conservative radio host says that the Catholic nuns who have embarked on a nine-state bus tour to protest the injustice of Rep. Paul Ryan's (R-WI) proposed budget deserve to be beaten with a handgun because they "threw the first punch."

"There’s a bus full of nuns headed towards Washington to lobby against the Ryan plan," radio host Jan Mickelson told Rep. Tom Latham (R-IA) last week. "Do you guys, do you have any power to pull the nuns on the bus over and pistol whip them?"

...

And, I'm willing to bet any of those sisters would take his pistol away from him and shove it up his ass.

Hey ...

It works for NASCAR and European Football, right?

With the Republicans still successfully choking the economy, many towns are looking to naming rights and ad placement on municipal property to pay the bills.

...

I can see it now; "The Ringling Bros. Clown Town Hall". Heh ...

If you're doing something underhanded ...

It might be best not to tell a moron what you're up to:

Pennsylvania House Majority Leader Mike Turzai (R) said that the voter ID law passed by the legislature would help deliver the state for Mitt Romney in November.

“Pro-Second Amendment? The Castle Doctrine, it’s done. First pro-life legislation - abortion facility regulations - in 22 years, done. Voter ID, which is gonna allow Governor Romney to win the state of Pennsylvania, done,” Turzai said at this weekend’s Republican State Committee meeting, according to PoliticsPA.com. [my em]

...

Of course they rigged the game. They can't win if they don't cheat.

States Rights: Win One, Lose One

Win:

Think Progress, links at site.

Today, the Supreme Court issued a decision invalidating most of Arizona’s controversial immigration law. Georgetown Law professor David Cole, a vocal civil liberties advocate, called the decision “almost a total victory for the Obama administration,” which challenged the constitutionality of the law.

But the decision signaled that the court also views Obama’s recent immigration directive, halting deportations for many young undocumented immigrants, as legal. Essentially, the court underscored that the federal government has broad discretion under the law to decide who to deport.
...

Kris Kobach, an immigration advisor for Mitt Romney, said that Obama’s order was illegal. It does not appear likely that the Supreme Court agrees.

This explains why Justice Scalia’s dissenting opinion, upholding the entire law, included a lengthy section blasting Obama’s immigration order. He also read from that section at length from the bench.

Yo, Fat Tony: howl at the moon all you want, asshole.

Lose:

Think Progress, links at site.

The Supreme Court just announced a 5-4 decision striking down Montana’s ban on corporate money in elections. The decision was handed down without hearing oral argument on the case, meaning that the five conservative justices were not even open to hearing arguments that their election-buying decision in Citizens United might have been wrongly decided.

Once the right-wing Moseses bring the tablets down from the mountaintop, that's it and fuck you.

In dissent:

But in a dissent, Justice Stephen Breyer argued that Montana’s history of corruption is a sign of what’s to come thanks to the Supreme Court’s determination that bans on corporate election spending violate free speech.

It's going to get worse before it gets better. A lot worse.

It's time for all 50 states to tell SCOTUS to shove it.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Asian Immigrants to U.S. Surpass Hispanics for First Time
Well-educated Asians willing to do jobs Americans can't comprehend.

John Kerry Will Stand in for Romney in Obama's Prep Debate
Romney will rehearse by debating Cedric the Entertainer.

Willard will lose that one too.

Interview-Shy Romney Appeared on “Fox & Friends” 21 TimesThis Year
He finds their journalism tough, but fair.

"Out of touch" doesn't begin to cover it...

No shit ...

Just one:

I really wish that just one Republican who parrots the "job creators" meme would explain just what it's going to take for these "job creators" to actually "create jobs" ...

Personally, if someone threw billions of dollars at me, I'd be hiring like a fool. I guess it's just not enough for them. I'd suggest that if you gave every American making less than $250K a $20K "bailout", it would do more for the economy than giving the "job creators" anything.

Quote of the Day

Thers:

...

HOLY SHIT STARVING FAMILIES GET $130 A MONTH.

For fifty bucks you could mulch 'em.

...

Definitions ...

Teabonics /tē-bon-iks/
(noun)

The creative spelling or grammar featured on the various signs used by protesters in the Tea Party movement. [a blend of the words "ebonics" and "Tea Party"]

Photographic examples here. The stupid; it burns.

Outrageous!

Stolen from the Being Liberal FB page.

An apt description ...

Of the conservative base:

...

Romney is smart enough to know that the typical GOP base voter from swamps of darkest Jebusland is no longer functionally human in some very important ways: they have been trained not to notice or care if their leaders cripple the economy, trash the planet or shit directly in their faces every single day as long as they promise to make uppity, smart-ass Libruls suffer and to dispatch the Scary Black Man back to the depths of their most terrifying racial-inferiority nightmares.

...

We have a name for them here in NY. We call them "suckers".

Quote of the Day

A commenter on Maddow Blog:

I suspect that Beck's "finger of God" was attached to his proctologist.

I'd suggest Beck's proctologist and neurosurgeon are one and the same.

The Jukebox in my mind ...

Since we're on a summer theme:

The Cars - Magic

It's criminal ...

Taibbi via Montag:

Someday, it will go down in history as the first trial of the modern American mafia. Of course, you won't hear the recent financial corruption case, United States of America v. Carollo, Goldberg and Grimm, called anything like that. If you heard about it at all, you're probably either in the municipal bond business or married to an antitrust lawyer. Even then, all you probably heard was that a threesome of bit players on Wall Street got convicted of obscure antitrust violations in one of the most inscrutable, jargon-packed legal snoozefests since the government's massive case against Microsoft in the Nineties – not exactly the thrilling courtroom drama offered by the famed trials of old-school mobsters like Al Capone or Anthony "Tony Ducks" Corallo.

...

Hopefully, this is the beginning of a trend.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

I like Canadian country music. I think it's still called "Country & Western" up there. This is a Western. A little commentary from Emmylou as well.

Folks have been posting 'summer' songs. This is mine.

Ian & Sylvia Tyson with Emmylou Harris ~ Summer Wages

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Issa Staffer Offered To Stop Holder Contempt Vote

TPM

Rep. Darrell Issa’s chief investigative counsel offered to stop the contempt vote against Attorney General Eric Holder in exchange for the resignation of Assistant Attorney General Lanny Breuer, Newsweek’s Dan Klaidman is reporting.
...

Breuer, who heads the Justice Department’s Criminal Division, apologized in October for not telling other Justice Department officials that guns were allowed to “walk” during the Bush administration when Congress first raised questions about Operation Fast And Furious in early 2011.
...

DOJ officials think the offer to drop the contempt vote in exchange for Breuer’s scalp was further evidence that Issa’s investigation was more about making headlines than determining facts.

“The reason that this contempt motion happened is that Issa didn’t come up with any evidence and didn’t get a scalp,” Matthew Miller, DOJ’s former communications director, told Klaidman. “When you set expectations that high and you don’t deliver, you have to explain why.”

Sounds like Issa's way of saying, "I fucked up. Throw us a bone and we'll forget all about it".

I'll throw ya a bone, Darrell. Drop 'em and bend over.

Return to Sender

CAIRO (The Borowitz Report) June 21, 2012 – Just days after they savored their chance to vote in their first-ever democratic election, Egyptians awoke today to the brutal realization that their long-awaited democracy had been imported from Florida.

"When the United States started exporting democracy to the Middle East, we were naturally very excited," said University of Cairo political science professor Amgad Nasrallah. "I guess we should have checked to see exactly which part of the United States our democracy was exported from."

Dr. Nasrallah said that when the voting in Egypt was over and no clear winner was declared, "I began to fear the worst: that our democracy had come from Florida."

"Both sides started claiming victory, and then the government said it wasn't ready to announce a final result," he said. "If we find out that this thing is going to the Supreme Court, to borrow an American phrase, we're fucked."

In Cairo today, protesters filled Tahrir Square, demanding that Egypt's new democracy be returned to sender.

But in Florida, Governor Rick Scott requested that the Coast Guard create a naval blockade around the state to prevent the Egyptians from returning its democracy to its place of origin.

"We exported democracy to Egypt because we wanted less of it in Florida, not more," Gov. Scott. "I'll be damned if we're going to take democracy back. Not on my watch. Not on my watch."

CLEARLY LABELLED SATIRE.

Headline of the Day

Politico suspends black reporter for saying Romney more comfortable around white people

Of course Willard's more comfortable around white people. Anybody else is either the help or a thug to him because he knows them only in that context, not ever spending time with The Other like if he'd been in (gasp!) the military or lived in any kind of "mixed" neighborhood. The point is that Politico, which I don't much care for, fired a black man for simply stating the obvious. I wonder if they'da done that if he'd been white. Assholes.

Quote of the Day

From "BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN WON’T EVEN GIVE SUPERFAN CHRIS CHRISTIE A HANDSIE":

C’mon Springsteen, just pinch one of his tits and get it over with.

Oh, the visual! Heh.

"You Want To Talk About Contempt?"

Same comment I left at YouTube and my Facebook page: FUCKIN' A, Old Fart! Get some!

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Same shit, different hats ...

Doesn't matter which god they worship or which book they read. Jon Turley via Pam Spaulding:

We previously discussed the decision of prosecutors to grant ultra-Orthodox Jewish defendants anonymity — denied to other defendants — in facing sex-crime charges. It is, in my view, a highly problematic form of favoritism shown to a powerful community in Brooklyn. Moreover, as discussed earlier, it is highly unlikely in this tight-knit community that the identification of both the accused and victims would not be known. Now, four Hasidic men have been arrested for alleged harassment and obstruction of witnesses, including the offer of a $500,000 bribe to refuse to testify against a Hasidic leader. The prominent accused man in the Satmar Hasidic community, Nechemya Weberman, has been accused of 88 counts of sexual misconduct, including oral sex with a child younger than 13 years old. In addition to the money, the men are accused of threatening to withdraw the kosher certification from the restaurant of the boyfriend, Hershy Deutsch, unless the woman dropped her claims.

...

They all protect each other, whether they are Catholic priests, Jewish rabbis, or any other crowd of god's mouthpieces who believe they are more moral than the rest of us. I've said it a million times before; it's time for all these 'institutions' to pay taxes. At least they'll be doing something useful for society while they molest our kids instead of only grubbing for money and stealing our children's souls.

I can't believe, in the 21st Century, we are still dumb enough to give any of these fuckers the benefit of the doubt on anything.

The Jukebox in my mind ...

I have no idea why this is in my head, but some good pics of every flavor of Chevelle in this vid.

Blackfoot - Highway Song

May your wishes come true ...

Via our dear friend opti, from the Organization for Educating Misinformed Tea Party Patriots, something to give every Jesus freak a stroke:

Another ...

"Charlie-Lima"

Stolen from the Being Liberal FB page.

Too Fast, Too Furious

Darrell Issa’s Lawless Marauding

That fucker's an embarrassment to my state.

Stirring extreme partisanship together with rightist paranoia, Rep. Darrell Issa and his Republican colleagues on the House Government Operations Committee have transformed a legitimate investigation into a breach of Constitutional authority and a danger to law enforcement. With Wednesday’s vote to hold Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt – for refusing to turn over every document demanded in the committee’s probe of the Justice Department’s “Operation Fast and Furious” gunrunning sting – the reckless Issa invited attention to his own aims and tactics, which cannot withstand much scrutiny.

There was little expectation of scrupulous conduct from Issa, who upon assuming the committee chair announced plans to hold “seven hearings a week, times 40 weeks” to “measure [the] failure” of the Obama administration. While he hasn’t achieved that supersized goal, his blustering tone was telling. He has turned a sober and important committee into a parody of Fox Nation. And now with his most ambitious probe unable to find any evidence of wrongdoing by Holder, he is abusing Congressional power to distract from his own failure.

Please read the rest.

Issa, a criminal himself, worse now than then, made his money in car alarms. Take off your muffler and set off every last one you can.

This whole deal is hilarious in an unfunny way really. Guess who makes the decision to prosecute AG Holder if Congress finds him in contempt. Heh.

Note to AG Holder: If Issa's political game plays out and you are
made out to be in contempt of Congress, here's your line for them:

"Who gives a flyin' fuck what you clowns say? Everyone else in the country is in contempt of you teabagger fucktards too."

Update:

TPM

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi said Thursday that an effort by House Republicans to pass a resolution finding Attorney General Eric Holder in contempt of Congress is really about his efforts in opposition to GOP-backed voting laws that Democrats consider forms of voter suppression.
...

“These very same people holding in contempt are part of a nationwide scheme to suppress a vote. They are closely aligned with those who are suffocating the system, special interests, secret money, and they are poisoning the debate. They are poisoning the debate with that money. And so what does the average citizen say? They throw up their hands and they say, a pox on both your houses, and that is a victory for the special interest,” Pelosi continued.

If they can make people look the other way and quit giving a shit, they win. That's much easier and more in line with their agenda than democracy.

To quote my late dad-in-law ...

"That's a big Charlie-Lima*, son."

...

“Obama looked nervous and Vladimir drank only water,” Stewart simpered, “Is this couple on the outs or are they expecting a baby?”

Stewart conceded that this “a fun game,” reading big meanings into small things, but, as he pointed out, have you ever seen Vladimir Putin not look icy?

“That’s your lamestream, liberal media for you, though” said the host, “Wall-to-wall coverage of something, but they’re not sure what it is, or if it really matters.”

...

*C-L = Care Less

Seriously ...

If you were a space alien with the intelligence and wherewithal to make it to Earth, why would you even bother making contact? I mean, with all the crap floating around this planet, you'd think we were nothing but a buncha slobs.

Houston is all too aware of this problem: The area of space just outside of Earth is growing dangerously crowded with space junk, debris leftover from 50 years-worth of humanity’s spacefaring activities and from tiny meteorites.

...

Alien travel brochures probably call the Solar System the "Ghetto of the Milky Way".

Quote of the Day

Our pal Montag:

...

Remember kids, if your name is not Ron Paul you don't deserve any government services.

That'll happen ...

Being I'm married to the biggest feminist since Gloria Steinem, I know all this is true.

Thanks to Americans Against The Tea Party for the pic.

Yes, after 22 years of marriage, she's moving out.

The dogs are on their last leg.

There's a pig scrotum filled with foul-smelling herbs hanging outside our front door to ward off the eeeevil.

We have big posters of Marx, Lenin, and Che on the front of the house.

And she won't let me watch (Heh ...).

Not.

***

Dear Pat,

Die already.

Regards,

F