Oklahoma Sen. Jim Inhofe is a maniacal anti-science oil-eating death ogre, a.k.a. the smartest person in the Republican Party, except for Ronald Reagan and, hmm, Michael Goldfarb. He is so brilliant at life that the liberal New York Times invited him to weigh in on its discussion blog, “Room For Debate,” about the possible repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. Instead of writing about this issue, however, he just threw down some hot-shit psychobabble about Arlen Specter that makes no sense at all to us, the idiots.
Put on your nerd glasses and see if you can figure this one out within seven reads:
There is no evidence more visible that the American people are already rebelling against the far-left agenda than Senator Arlen Specter switching parties to become a Democrat. He did this for one reason, and that is his advisers told him he couldn’t retain his Senate seat as a Republican. In other words, the same people who supported Senator Specter six years ago have soundly rejected him today.
That, my friends, sounds like 1994. The extreme liberal agenda is not sellable to the American people. Just wait and see.
This is the New New Post-Math, so you might as well go jump off the roof of one of your precious baseball stadiums, Nate Silver. It’s a rebellion in learning. And as the size of the Republican party continues to wane from 40 percent of the electorate to 30 to 20 to 10 to the point where it’s just Jim Inhofe and his sexin’ rat, things will look more 1994-y everyday.
Quote of the day [War Room/Salon]
{ 95 comments }
Mmhmm what?
my brain hurts
When confronted with the same set of facts, two rational individual can come to radically different conclusions. However, in this case, Jim seems to be working off a completely unique reality.
“…a.k.a. the smartest person in the Republican Party”. Should read “the smartest person in Oklahoma” which is, sadly, probably true.
His middle name is Mountain. That is all.
Arlen Specter switching parties is also his self-defeating argument against Global Warming.
“He quit because he was sweating under the pressure of the republicans of Pennsylvania. In other words, it was getting way too warm.
That, my friends, sounds to me like CO2 levels haven’t changed significantly in the past 200 years. Just you watch.”
So, Inhone is gay for Specter?
Wow, that’s amazing. Are Republicans really doing so badly that their Senators are actually becoming incorporeal? That’s what I got out of it, anyway. That, and Arlen Specter is a jerk.
Its not just a river in Egpyt, anymore, also.
LOL, wot?
Yoda’s speeches logical downright sound compared to Inhofe.
“Remember, a GOPer’s strength flows from the Stupids. But beware. Logic, reason, rationality. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Young GOPer… do not… do not underestimate the powers of the Obama or suffer Arlen’s fate you will. Young GOPer, when gone am I… the last of the GOP will you be. Young GOPer, the Stupids runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have not learned, Young GOPer.”
GOP=Black Knight with just a flesh wound.
- Love, El Pinche
What’s that crazy white fog he’s standing in, in that picture? Something to do with Meth production?
“The Republican party isn’t getting smaller — it just appears to be getting smaller because it remains at the political center, from which the Democrat party is rushing away at such a blinding pace that it sees this illusion.”
[re=307830]StephanieInCA[/re]: His parents were hippies?
Tiny little party. Soon to be land locked, a little swath of red through the Bitter Belt where the IQs are the lowest on record and poverty is the highest. America’s ghetto of ignorance.
Every time that guy opens his mouth I die a little inside.
And the photo of this douche is fuzzed out at the bottom to obscure the image of him receiving fellatio from a young boy? Or is it Michael Steele?
He always changes the topic whenever asked whether gays should come out of the closet.
No guys, this makes perfect sense, if you just replace every instance of “The American People” with “Republicans”.
Although I guess that makes it the most obvious thing ever said, ever, in human history. Maybe replace with “Log Cabin Republicans”?
He (Clinton)had everything. He had the House and the Senate, and the far-left had their hooks in him.
Now this guy is insane or lying on purpose. I remember quite well Clinton being very centrist. That’s how he got elected. The “far left” is one of those stupid meaningless little turds the Rs are throwing around, like “socialist” in hopes that they will start to stick.
If Inhofe and Michelle Bachman had 10 babies, I think they would all be stillborn, because they would be too stupid to breathe.
You really don’t have to be retarded to be a republican, but if you are, it gives you like a zillion bonus points on your application.
Is this the guy who once bragged there’s not a single solitary gay in his entire family?
I’m reminded of the film This is Spinal Tap, when the band’s manager responds to a reporter who’s insisting that declining record sales suggest the band is going down the tubes. That’s not at all true, the manager responds. It’s just that “their appeal is getting more… selective.”
Wait. Do what? Oh, ok 5 is now smaller than 4. I get it. YHWH! this is fun to watch unfold. Also, a ex-mule/fruit-fucker is running for governor in GA. Guess which party? Big tent indeed.
http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2009/05/01/ga-governor-candidate-hates-abortion-loved-animals/
What Senator Inhofe MEANT to say is that REAL Americans are not afraid to hide from pollsters. They are LEGION, and they are certainly not locked up in a basement or in rehab somewhere. Having sex in a time capsule is what’s for breakfast, my friend. Take that to the bank and smoke it.
“Free Newt” is the ad that comes up when you say “1994″ enough times in a blog post.
[re=307845]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “I WAS IN THE POOL!”
[re=307826]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Senator Asshat is the dumbest sack of shit to serve in the U.S. Senate in the last 50 years. And this puts him against formidable competition, like Roman Hruska and Dan Quayle. One of his last acts before relinquishing the chair of the Environment and Public Works committee was to convene a panel of climate change deniers, asshats, and dunces, all of whom had scant scientific records, knowledge, or experience, to spew rivers of bullshit. Senator Boxer noted that this would be the last meeting of its kind in a long time, and that the committee would soon return to adult supervision. Which made Sen. Vitter want to make in his diaper, also.
Now that’s wordsmithing I can believe in! Also.
Is ‘hofe’ German for ”bred’?
[re=307824]leftcoaster[/re]: “When confronted with the same set of facts, two rational individual can come to radically different conclusions.”
I’m reminded of the immortal words of Perry DeAngelis who, when asked how two mathemeticians could consider the same sets of equations and come to different conclusions he declared “Because one of them is a dick.”
[re=307866]Serolf Divad[/re]: Well, Inhofe’s explanation does go to 11.
Yes, of course, a brilliant dialetheia.
Senator cuts run on the same logic as tax cuts: More cuts + ??? = PROFIT!!!1!!11
[re=307872]StephanieInCA[/re]: And to completely mix the metaphors: “Manhoods in mirror are smaller than they appear.”
[re=307874]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I was being sarcastic. Being the smartest person in OK is basically equal to being the tallest midget at the circus–both incredibly low bars.
What the hell kind of name is Inhofe? Doesn’t sound very American.
We had to destroy Ben Tre in order to save it.
Man, by the time these shitheads wear out the “far left” trope we’ll have free dentists and a year-and-a-half of FMLA.
So let me see if I’m following this…
In 1992 Bill Clinton was elected by a plurality in a three-way race and then proceeded to waste his first two years in office on nailing fat chicks, not getting gays in the military, and letting his awful wife make national health care as unpopular as a prostate exam. Two years later, the Republicans take Congress with an organized and focus campaign based upon real issues such as welfare reform.
In 2008 Barack Obama was elected by the largest majority in 20 years, orchestrates the passage of his key legislative initiative of his first 100 days, impresses the world with his first overseas trip, turns a veteran U.S. Senator, and has approval ratings of 60-65%. What Inhofe is saying that a bizarre Jacobin rabble led by Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann, and Sam Wurtzlebacher will mount a repeat of 1994?
Hey whatever gets Republicans to sleep at night…after they’re finished having butt sects with their male pool boys.
Laughing my ass off. I’ll come back and leave a comment when I’ve finished laughing.
What’s confusing about that? You just have to consider Michael Steele’s super secret strategy and that logic works perfectly. I think it works something like FAIL + FAIL + FAIL + FAIL = Steele/Palin 2012! = Win
Don’t you just hate it when your toner cartridge starts to run out like on the printer above? I find if you shake it a couple times, you can sqeeeze another couple days out of them.
Fuck. Just when the Flaming Lips song drops out of the conversation, the NYT wants to make my miserable by giving this dip shit a place to brag about how stupid Oklahomans are. He talks as funny as he does because he’s so exhausted after giving Exxon Mobil and Chesapeake Energy blow jobs. Your mouth would be tired, too, you know.
Can’t we go back to talking about the freak from Georgia? Or the Texas Governor? No, not Texas. We always get dragged into their shit.
Oh Jim
Oh James
Oh James honey
Oh Jimmy my dearest one
Oh Jimmy Inhofe
Jimmy, Jimmy my son
Oh Jimmy Inhofe
Jim-Jim
Jimmy Inhofe Jimmy Inhofe
Why can’t Jimmy Inhofe be like Jimmy Hoffa, and just disappear?
If the GOP wants to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell”, what will happen to Charlie Crist?
Sphincter = Specter. I can see how he got confused.
[re=307876]Scarab[/re]: Is ‘hofe’ German for ”bred’?
Something along those lines, actually, yes. I think I remember one of our German Exchange Students telling me that “hofmachen” is one of their words meaning teh sex.
Oh, Inge, how I miss you and your Teutonic milkmaid bustline.
Aren’t their any reasonably intelligent staffers left in the Republican party? I realize their elected officials have gong “full ‘tard” but c’mon…somebody didn’t read that and point out he just sounds bat shit crazy?
Did he end by claiming the entire Republican party was going to come over to the Dems and by doing so insure that permanent Republican majority?
This is really starting to loose it’s shine, making fun of idiots is like shooting fish in a barrel.
Oh come on. You’re just not getting it because you’re reading it as simple English, when it fact Inhofe is expressing, through a carefully crafted translation of equations describing a complex, non-ergodic stochastic decision process, a highly sophisticated Markov chain analysis of a transitional dynamic matrix in which the Specter Theorem, in free-falling reversibility, obtains a probability of just over 50% under the conditions of Palinic autocracy and Bachmannian irreducibility. I’d provide the equations, but then I’d be doing your work for you.
[re=307847]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: No, ironic hipsters, apparently. Mountain? Oklahoma?
It just shows that if you hold your head up your ass that long your brain will die. See?
Overcome by Inhofe’s logic, I’ve tied myself to a tree, just in case gravity starts soundly rejecting the Earth.
[re=307891]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh, yes, I agree, and appreciate the considerable wit. The problem is that if you can convey legal or substantive personhood to a sack of shit in Oklahoma (hey, the Chancery courts in Delaware do it all the time!) then Imhofe is still dumber than the smartest person/sack of shit in the state (actually, I know a number of bright, nice Oklahomans, who didn’t vote for this human turd). Of course, OK is become more sofisterkated, because OKC is a Major League City(tm) now, with the NBA franchise they kidnapped from Seattle. Everything’s up to date in Ok. City, including the asshattery.
However, Hong Kong ladyboy ass in heels? SELLABLE!!!!11!!
[re=307826]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: They bought Jim Thorpe. His widow said to a yokel community in the territory of his birth, “Here, pay to bury him, and reap rewards in tourism for generations!” So they paid to ship and plant the greatest sports figure of all time in, what was, I think, Thorpe, OK. But the tourists, sadly, failed to follow. The mayor succinctly stated the problem. “All we got’s a dead injun.” It became the state motto.
I was born twelve miles from the Territory. I guarantee you this is a serviceable anecdote, suitable for framing.
[re=308028]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Heh, OKC Thunder, NBA team right? My own dearly departed former world champ Seattle Supersonics in a previous lifetime, recently brought low.
Good luck with all that, LOSERS.
“New New Post-Math”? More like post-Meth. Clearly, Inofe’s fried.
Umm.. aah. Umm. Er.
I GET IT NOW!
No, wait, I, umm, err.
Wait – he’s right! Umm, huh?
It makes perfect sense if you… actually, no, it’s still bullshit.
History is repeating itself, but not the history Jim mentioned. I’m thinking of 1986, when the Quaker Life insurance company he was president of went broke and was liquidated. Now the party that sponsors Jimmy’s candidacy is acting a lot like Quaker Life, and a different generation is running DC, and it must seem like the repeat of a bad dream. If he weren’t a politician, I’d feel sorry for him.
Yeah because during all those years as a Republican Specter voted the “far left” all the time. And since the “extreme liberal agenda” isn’t sellable, he switched to the Democrats…?
while on the subject of nutjobs with special names, did you know ron paul’s son is fucking named “Rand”? No fucking shit, and (best) he wants to replace Bunning, the only guy currently in the Sen who may be dumber than Inhofe. I bet in 6-7 years, we’ll see a spike in poor ass white people dragging kids named Rand to the free clinics.
Also, bush apparently raised $100M for his library in 100 days. CNN has a picture of him looking like Poppy just told him that he gets a puppy (and that poppy doesn’t hate Babs anymore, so he’ll move back in). they’re claiming none of the $$$ is from overseas, but considering how much the Saudi royals own in this country, I guess those can legitimately be considered domestic.
I think Senator Jim is mixing some of the maths up. something like:
lim┬(x→0 )1/x = ∞
So I think Senator Jim is mixed up on using “Limits” — happens all the time. I assume he sees “infinite” promise as the Republicans lose members. I’m not sure that follows, but, what the hey.
if this equation actually shows up, I shall take it as an omen and rededicate myself to the study of … I dunno … something, that’s fer sure.
The words “sexin’ rat” to terrible things to my imagination.
Western Ken Doll Collection, by Smartypants
Boehner
Perry
Inhofe
I’m leaving someone out. Teh Lego Jesus is crying. Also, the Buff Armless Yellow Jebus. Also.
[re=307993]One Yield Regular[/re]: Damn. You’re right! It was right there in front of me all the time.
Vote for Neal Horsley.
Why does Wonkette have such a huge crush on Nate Silver?
Oh i get it. He’s saying Spector was liberal and that’s why republicans rejected him and that’s why he stands a better chance of winning as a democrat which suggests the democrats are losing because republicans won’t vote for democrats and more people are becoming democrats which means there are less republicans to “soundly reject” other republicans/democrats like Spector who is also “Elle a chaud au cul”.
When I first read that headline, I thought it said “Defecation.”
[re=307982]dijetlo[/re]: You stay a staffer by pretending that your boss is right and the rest of the world is bat-shit crazy.
My illustrious idiot of a Senator quotes the 1994 National Defense Authorization Act to prove his supreme Republican bigot bona fides:
http://roomfordebate.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/03/in-the-barracks-out-of-the-closet/#jim
Be sure and read the comments following the round table! They are 9 to 1 for OVERTURNING the ridiculous “Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell” policy and those for it? Well, its worth reading their posts for a good chuckle or two!
if brains were gasoline, this sad sack wouldn’t have enough to drive a moped halfway ’round a BB.
[re=307820]jgrn307[/re]: My Left Brain hurts, but somehow all is calm in the Right hemisphere.
Um…, ah… Wow. Jim’s baked, right? No?
[re=307993]One Yield Regular[/re]: Nothing stochastic about Inhofe – he’s a moron all the time.
[re=307913]Woodwards Friend[/re]: + several thousand
That, in a nutshell, sums up why the GOP is le fucked.
Also:
In 1994, the GOP’s public voice was Newt Gingrich and the Contract With America.
In 2009, the GOP’s public voice is a weird melange of Michael Steele, Sarah Palin, and Joe T. Assplumber and “NO!”.
[re=308064]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: People who give their kids any name based on Ayn Rand and/or her fictional characters, be it Ayn, Rand, Roark, Dominique, Dagny, Branden, Galt, etc. deserve to have their child-rearing licenses revoked. Also.
My, my he speaks almost as good as that barricuda lady from Alaska, what was her name again?
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
[re=307925]DustBowlBlues[/re]: My heart bled for Okies after reading “The Hardest Time” but damn, it seams the OK pols have always been some kind of mean-spirited, shameless fools. It’s a pretty short leap from denying the Dust Bowl was man made, to the genius that is Jim Inhofe. FDR fed them for 20 years and they hate him for it. all praise be to the baby Jeebus.
Seams, is my homage to Woody, Cisco and Merle. That’s how they always spelt it.
[re=308144]peorgietirebiter[/re]: The baby Jeebus understands ‘seams’…or at least he/she SHOULD understand it.
Who cares–you had me at ‘homage’.
I’m going to bed now. G’night.
It’s perfectly understandishable to me.
Goddamn, is he somehow Joe the Plumber’s daddy?
Jeebus, there should be a limit to the stupidity.
[re=307925]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I actually had some nitwit try to sell me on Rush’s latest meme that FDR made the depression worse about two months ago here in Tulsa. I told him, “Lucky my 94 year old grandma wasn’t here to hear you say that. She jump across the table and backhand you into Texas!” Grandma, G-d rest her soul, was a die hard Democrat! LOVED FDR and all the good he did the Okies back in the day. Hell, if he could see Oklahoma now and how so many have bought the whole Talibangelical bullshit the Republicans sell, he’d probably regret all the Public Works stuff that fed their starving ancestor Okies. Sad, really… Ingrate Republicans!
[re=307874]DangerousLiberal[/re]:
Wasn’t Hruska the 0ne who defended G. Harrolld Carswell by claiming that mediocre people deserved a voice on teh Supreme Court? Inhofe is dumb and mean, and an obvious pencil dick. He says there hasn’t been a single SOLITARY gay in his family. I will let the rest of this joke write itself.
Yay! Hopey has lost already! The ultra-hardcorez bitterz haz won! Want proof? Even the regular bitterz are joining the Demoncrats! Leaving only the true believerz in Jeebus and Ayn Rand! And those true believerz will choose a christianist rand-tard with little formal education and no real experience to run against Specter in the general election! How can Specter compete against a divinely appointed rand-tard? The Republicanz haz truthiness on their side! Specter is obviously a half-breed muslin jew! He is already defeated! The fewer moderates or “normalz” in the Republican party the better! Ideological purity wins against silly crap like “popularity” or “name-recognition” every time! As soon as the party purges each and every member who has ever once had anything resembling a coherent thought process on any subject or who wasn’t secretly partying with teh gayz then the Republican Party of God and Ameruka will once again rule this great land! Lock up your boy children, the Republican party will rise once more. And with cialis, probably once more too. Also.
[re=307862]Uncle Al[/re]: They would have no children because he would get confused and plug the wrong hole.
Zhu Bajie
As a Native Okie, all I can say is that one of our 1st two Senators after Statehood was Sen. Thomas Gore, Gore Vidal’s Grandpa. He was a Democrat; he was blind; he was an atheist.
No one like that could ever be elected in today’s Oklahoma – Instead, we now have Inhofe: A Republican, mentally-dead, theocrat with no “GAYZ” in his HIS family.
The blatant gradient abuse hurts my soul.
[re=307841]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Young GOPer, the Stupids runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have not learned, Young GOPer.”
…and thus, homeschooling.
[re=307867]Carrie_Okie[/re]: This Horsley fellow has to be secretly Catholic. Sure, any Republican can have sex with a mule, but it take someone looking for an original sin to get a golden shower from the mule as he’s finishing up. Horsley/Palin ’12!
[re=308184]Starrigavan[/re]: 4 star rant.
[re=308177]GaySailor[/re]: … Grandma, G-d rest her soul, was a die hard Democrat! LOVED FDR and all the good he did the Okies back in the day. …
That describes a LOT of the old southern Democrats. FDR was venerated; this often is forgotten now, and their children may have become Republicans, but not them (and many would end up opposed to the Civil Rights movement that was to sweep over the south). Most were never able to leave the Democrats, even when they opposed the party. The hold FDR had was never forgotten (in the south, the Republicans almost have to have a different history to deal with this).
[re=308178]artbot2000[/re]: indeed he was and that’s why i still cry that harriet miers never got her day. UP OR DOWN VOTE, DUMBOCRATS!!!! YOU LOOST THE ELEKXTIONS!!
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