Today’s right-wing Obama-is-a-foreigner thing is the startling revelation that, theoretically, Barack Obama could be accepting campaign donations from foreign nationals.
Short version: Barack Obama does not own the Obama.com domain name. Some (American) dude in China does. It autoforwards to a donation page on BarackObama.com, which Barack Obama owns. Foreigners can access Obama.com through nefarious means such as web browsers, which probably means that all of Obama’s money is raised from his half-siblings in Kenya and Indonesia.
But how to prove this is happening? The campaign denies it, of course, as liars would. So leave it to intrepid pile of moist journalism Erick Erickson to investigate. And by investigate, we mean attempt credit card fraud.
A new Pew poll shows Romney up four (49-45%) with likely voters following last week’s debate. According to Twitter, blah blah sampling women Midwest Chuck Todd just DMed me and it was hot, but basically Obama has permanently and totally lost the election after Jim Lehrer didn’t have his back.
Your Editrix, being the mama of an 18-year-old man, is not entirely unamenable to the ideas proposed by Arkansas’s latest political fameball, one Charlie Fuqua, a candidate for the Arkansas House who’s just the last in a long string of thoughtful and wise natives to the state. Not only is she not necessarily unamenable, but in fact, she’s downright intrigued! What does Charlie Fuqua want? He wants us to kill all children who disrespect their parents, Old Testament-styley. Let us explore this brave old world, together! READ MORE »
Oh, boy, a Republican presidential candidate just went to give a “major foreign policy address” to a military academy, which as we all know means a whole lot of highly explosive murder-death, for freedom, right? Well, sorry carnage lovers, your 2012 GOP nominee isn’t the sort of guy who, say, makes up comical “Weird” Al-style song spoofs about dropping bombs on other countries and killing tens of thousands of people. Nope! You’re stuck with Mitt Romney, who comes from a modern-day executive class that believes the answer to everything is “leadership,” and that you can learn “leadership” by reading the executive summaries of all the terrible business books with “leadership” in the title, and that liberal weenies who’ve never run a business don’t understand “leadership,” and that what the world wants is more American “leadership,” from a real “leader,” Mitt Romney. “Fuck this noise,” you’re saying, “Who will America bomb, under President Romney? WHO?” Details after the jump, but … maybe nobody? BOOO.
Here, let the National Review’s Mark Steyn tell you what’s wrong with Sesame Street. Basically: everything. It is why we are falling apart as a country. Babying children with images of friendly monsters leads to the widespread perception that the world outside your own home isn’t scary, and before you know it, it gets harder and harder to demonize gays and cling to xenophobic fantasies about the Other. The end result of all this open mindedness is that your ambassador gets killed by an al-Qaeda militant cell just outside Bengazi. So don’t blame Obama for that; blame Sesame Street! (no, rly, he is actually saying this.) READ MORE »
Nuns are so sweet and all, trying to help others and whatnot, but they really should maybe think twice about all the barnstorming they are doing around the country lately until they take a class in civics, or math. This barnstorming, it is dividing America, says Rep. Scott Tipton (R-Money), a Romney surrogate from Colorado who spoke to ThinkProgress after the debates last week. The nuns should probably work on job creation, rather than on just coddling the poor and turning them into a gigantic moocher class. READ MORE »
Do you think dude is going to try to sell a vial of Romney’s sweat on eBay? Will he keep it next to his nightstand, in a special box, for sniffing? Maybe the guy just didn’t want Miffed Romney to have to wipe his face with his (debunked-ish) debate cheatsheet. More importantly, what (NONVIOLENT) thing would you do to Miffed Romney, if the Secret Service were ever tarded enough to let you up close?
We, like you, are not particularly interested in listening to Miffed Romney spout bizarre lies about one B. HUSSEIN Obummer’s foreign policy record. So instead, we will listen to the geniuses at Bad Lip Reading in their most brilliant video yet, one focusing on none other than our Old Handsome Joe as he illuminates the perils of prickly-pear bush. You’re welcome, America. [Youtube]
Happy Columbus Day, Merkins! Are you so grateful to be a citizen of the US-of-A on this, the day we commemorate how we came over and righteously kicked some Injun ass? How about if you knew we had given our righteous ass-kickings so terrible man-children could live in their parents’ garage apartments, decline full time jobs teaching in their fields, take long meandering drives to nowhere, and then whine about how hard it is to choose between Miffed Romney and B. Barry Bamz, because Mr. Bamz has yet to bring them their own personal ponies? USA! USA! Wonkers, meet the most punchable man in America. READ MORE »
It is an intractable and inviolable part of the Boy Scouting Code (which is in Comic Sans on someone’s old Compaq) that gays and lesbians cannot serve in any Scouting capacity, because they will convince small children that it’s okay to watch Bravo more than they already do.
However, Robert White of Milford, Connecticut, was a part of the Girl Scouts, and he’s heterosexually harassing women, so he’s got a future career ahead of him once he’s finished his sex offender registry.
Robert White, a former member of the board of directors for Girl Scouts of Connecticut, was arrested this week amidst allegations he exposed himself to two female employees while at work, according to an arrest warrant affidavit.
White is also a former Republican Board of Education majority leader and former PTA Council president.
Thankfully, though, he did not expose himself to male co-workers. That’s basically pedophilia, except for the part where everyone involved in an adult.
Justice Antonin Scalia wants everyone to just keep their panties on, everyone, because “We can disagree with one another on the law without taking it personally.” Totally! So when he says that laws forbidding abortion, the death penalty and buttseks are clearly constitutional, don’t take it personally, gays and criminals and pregnant ladies. After all, figuring what is unconstitutional is a “no-brainer,” so don’t blame him, blame the Founders, who didn’t see fit to specifically enumerate rights for anyone other than educated, white, male landowners living in the early modern period.
Arkansas Representative Jon Hubbard (R-Dixieland) would just like to go on the record and clear a few things up. For example, the era of Political Correctness has led to a profound mis-characterizations of slavery, which was actually a blessing in disguise (but only for black people) because have you SEEN Africa? He hears it is a total shithole. And Nazis — were they REALLY so bad? And if you think he’s stupid, it’s not his fault; you can blame integration. Jon Hubbard feels these things so strongly that he has written them down in a book that is widely available on Amazon, a few excepts of which are included after the fold.
Greetings, intrepid Temps-Voyageurs! Let us not tarry, for there is much to explore in this quaint and curious volume for Christianist 10th-graders, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective.Last week, we finally reached the founding of the USA, that pivotal moment when the Founders decided which parts of the Bible to include in the Constitution. (To be fair, World Historydoesn’t actually say that, limiting itself to the far more cautious “the hand of God was clearly visible in the framing of the Constitution.”)
Today, we visit the exciting world of the Industrial Revolution, which you may remember was that time during the Olympics Opening Ceremonies when chimneys came out of the floor and Kenneth Branagh looked like Abe Lincoln but was actually the Great Industrialist Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Now, let’s be off, and mind you don’t tread on any butterflies. (Ha-ha, that is a joke — evolution is not real, so stomp as many as you wish!) READ MORE »
Here we are, in Wonkette’s State of the Art LiveBlogoPlex, ready for an infotainment extravaganza that will test our technology, our speed-typing, and our bad habit of trying to sound like a Jon Stewart wannabe. We have our beer and our falafel, and we are ready to go. Joining us for the debate tonight is Kid Zoom, who will be looking over our shoulder and telling us we’re using the computer all wrong.
Should you wish to access the online stream, it can be purchased here for $4.95, presumably even during the event; you’re supposed to be able to stream/download the thing afterwards as well, too. Half of the profits will go to charities of the debaters’ choice, if that assuages any qualms you might have about blowing five bucks on something involving Bill O’Reilly. Your Wonkette is all about assuaging qualms. Say that five times fast if you can. READ MORE »
Attention, Wonketteers! We are pleased to announce that Your Wonkette will be live-embloggening what promises to be a far more entertaining debate than that thing that happened on Wednesday. Join Your Doktor Zoom at 8 PM (Eastern) for a livebloog of tonight’s epic, not-at-all-over-hyped Pay-Per-View butting of heads between Jon “I Just Do Comedy” Stewart and Bill “Me Too, Though I Don’t Admit It” O’Reilly. READ MORE »
Today’s right-wing Obama-is-a-foreigner thing is the startling revelation that, theoretically, Barack Obama could be accepting campaign donations from foreign nationals.
