Ah, we are finally entering the long lull where we never again have to think of The Smiler, or how narrowly we dodged the bullet of having a true sociopath as Leader of the “Free World”.
But before we let The Smiler go finally to the White Horse graveyard, let us give his departing hiney one last kick as it goes through the door.
And let us note just how perfect The Smiler was as a candidate for the wingnuts. Despite all their protestations about how very Mormon he was, no other candidate, not ratfucking Nixon nor treason-in-service-to-getting-elected Reagan, has ever more perfectly captured the exact moral character of today’s wingnuts.
Only someone as willfully deluded as wingnuts could have been as legitimately shocked as The Smiler and his crew when they found out that all the polls really were right. Only someone as entitled and moronic as a wingnut could have thought that appealing to much needed latino and women voters was just a matter of calling latin@s racists for not supporting the white guy who hated them and appointing Paul “women deserve to be raped” Ryan as Vice President.
And as such The Smiler exits with much the same anguished cry that wingnuts have been entertaining us this past week. Specifically:
Shorter The Smiler(or the last port before Jungle):
If only those niggers, spics, cunts, and those damn fag-loving whipper-snappers had realized that they aren’t real people and aren’t allowed to vote or be at all served by government, then I could have secured my birthright as prophesied! If there isn’t a better example of election fraud, I’ve yet to hear it!
The post-election meltdown among wingnuts has been something to behold. Post after post of various true believers angrily trying to handle living in a world where they are so hated that not even cheating hardcore could save them. There’s a wealth of material there.
And frankly, Tintin has been fantastic harvesting a bunch of it. Heck, you all have been doing a fantastic job harvesting the many different flavors of juvenile temper tantrum.
And while there’s material galore there, believe me, and I could do entire posts over moments like this:
Shorter Charlie Kraphammer, The Washington (“Invade Iraq”) Post The Way Forward
The lesson of the election is not that the GOP should moderate its positions to attract new voters; instead the lesson is that it should talk pretty. For example, to attract Hispanic voters, we should say we are in favor of “amnesty” when all borders are finally closed my disability is miraculously cured.* To attract women voters, don’t call it a “mandatory transvaginal ultrasound;” rather, call it a “free pony ride.”
*This is a reference to Charles’s sadly disfigured face and not anything else.
To attract more women voters, the GOP needs to convince women that they aren’t women, but instead are simply men with vaginas oddly-shaped penises.
I love the post-electoral gyrations that we’re seeing by the wingnuts claiming that the best way to get the votes from groups that they didn’t get this time around — you know, women, blacks and hispanics — is to double down on conservative positions. This is pretty much the same thing as speeding away at 90 mph from the cop who just gave you a speeding ticket. Carrie Lukas comes at this problem in a different way. It’s not enough to adjust the message and make it more wingnutty to get the female vote. You can’t simply make sure that next time around you propose imprisoning gay people or using Medicaid to fund tax credits for purchases of yachts. No, you need to go one step further and convince women that they really aren’t any different from men.
Here’s a fact: Men alone would have elected a President Romney. Women—who cast about 54 percent of the votes in this election—gave President Obama a double-digit margin, and another four years in the White House.
What this means, of course, is not that Republican positions are unfavorable to women, but that womenz iz stoopid and must be educated that the white Republican men truly have all women’s best interests at heart.
One place to start would be the wage gap. Policy wonks may know that the idea that women are paid “77-cents-on-the-dollar” for the same work as a man has been thoroughly debunked. The statistical gap between men and women’s earnings is driven by the different choices men and women make about how to spend their time, and study after study shows that the gap shrivels once factors like industry and hours worked are taken into account.
I throroughly advocate that the Republicans convert women to their cause by spending the next four years by telling women that the reason for the gender wage gap is not because they are women but because most womenz is lazy and that any womenz who don’t understand that iz plain-out stoopid. Please, be my guest, Carrie. That’s a great idea. And while you’re at it, be sure to point out that if women would stop having babies all together, the gap would entirely disappear. I guarantee you that women will be beating down the doors of local GOP offices to get in and join.
Conservatives also need to be better prepared to respond when women’s health issues take center stage. … Essentially no one questions whether women should have access to contraception: Of course they should. Those who oppose the HHS mandate simply believe that government has no business compelling people to violate their religious convictions.
Again, I thoroughly endorse this idea. Republicans should also spend the next four years telling women that their male employer’s religious belief that the pill is an abortifacient straight from the pits of Hell is the reason that insurance pays for his ED meds but not his female employees birth control pills. Please. You can’t say that enough. Women will be dying to become Republicans once that is made clear to them.
Today in our crazy Belgian time, it is Tuesday November 6th, which means for those of us stuck in the Dadaist States of America, that it’s election day.
Which means, for the love of Bob, if you haven’t already voted early, you need to get the fuck out and vote. I know, you don’t need me telling you this and frankly, you’re probably wondering where the funny is. Well, I’ve got a treat for you, but you need to wander through a few more paragraphs of this bullshit first, because fuck you, that’s why.*
I know Obama is a sorely disappointing moderate and that you probably live in a state not called Ohio or Florida. But frankly, that doesn’t really matter. The GOP nominated The Smiler, openly stated they didn’t believe in democracy, have straight up brought back Jim Crow era disenfranchisement, and I fully expect a wingnut Secretary of State to be caught just straight up editing vote totals in Microsoft Excel before Tuesday is through.
Because they simply don’t give a fuck about pretense. They want to blow it all up and are hoping that raw money, media ownership, and the still lingering racism of that tiny core of bitter white men is enough to buy them a few more years to rob the last remaining shreds of this country before they retire to Europe to start tearing that continent apart.
In short, shit matters. And we not only need to ensure that the dog-torturing Transmetropolitan villain is sent back to his hair-buffing factory in Utah, but that we run up the popular vote. We need to ensure that we have as many Democrats as possible to disappoint us in slightly more sane ways than the nihilists in charge of the GOP lunatic asylum.
And beyond that, if you haven’t already, you need to research all the local and state bullshit before heading out tomorrow. So you can snipe the various wingnut welfare schemes and backdoor attempts to fuck you over and you can find those few glorious good candidates or props you can feel good about supporting until you see them bloodied and beaten by the NIMBY crowd.
Because, as is going to be more and more clear in the coming years, the wingnuts have realized they are running out of time on the Southern Strategy, on holding back decades of progress, on mattering as anything other than KKK re-enactment guilds. And they are declaring war on the notion of democracy, on the notion that we simple freaks should even count in “their” America, and on even continuing the pretense that the Civil War ever really ended.
And I can’t think of a more delicious way to punch that shit back in their face than to take this election where they have given themselves infinite money, full complete control over the airwaves, open disenfranchisement of minorities, open electoral fraud, straight-up terrorist intimidation of valid voters, etc… and just simply overrun them with votes to the point where they couldn’t possibly hope to steal it.
And as a bonus, it gives you an excuse to leave early or show up late to work! Both, if you’re a smooth talker!
I am Cerberus and I approve this message.
…
What?
…
Sigh. All right.
So, as has been much enjoyed here on the site, wingnuts have taken to claiming that polls are a liberal lie like global warming or the roundness of the globe. Now the reasons for this are myriad: cognitive dissonance, earnest belief that reality has a liberal bias, cognitive dissonance, a setup for four years of whining that ACORN and New Black Panthers stole the election so impeach the president, cognitive dissonance, an inability to do anything but work the refs, cognitive dissonance, attempt to provide wiggle room for open election night fraud, cognitive dissonance, and of course, cognitive dissonance.
And of the various wingnut poll-denialists, none as been quite as “Bookmark it Liberals” as the lovely folks at Unskewed Polls, who on October 25th helpfully provided a handy picture for psychologists to use as shorthand for delusional schizophrenia:
Yeah, that’s Oregon and New Mexico turning red in pure embarrassment for the poor deluded Troofie wannabe who runs the Geocities wannabe site that’s become a darling to all the octogenarians who want to pretend that they’re even remotely a majority anymore.
Well, in a shock to end all shocks, it turns out that despite years of evidence to the contrary, wingnuts are, in fact, capable of embarrassment and shame.
I know, I’m just as surprised as you are.
But still, here’s the same deluded loser, refreshing his “final” map on October 28:
That’d be the graphical equivalent of a teenager clutching their diary to their chest and slowly walking away as tears begin to overflow their eyes.
I’d feel bad if they weren’t democracy hating, racist, sexist, homophobic sociopaths who would rather see my country destroyed than allow life to get slightly better for the people most fucked over.
So yeah, let’s give them something to “bookmark”, shall we?
Long gas lines in New Jersey prove that scarce resources should be allocated solely to the rich.
The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to say more about Mattie’s idiotic genuflection before the great god of the free market or, more particularly, the great god of the free market as understood by a dim-witted freshman at a junior college in Georgia. His argument here is that higher prices cause people to allocate resources sensibly. Now, assuming that everyone had a fair amount of resources to juggle, this has some appeal. You know, as in “Gee, should I spend $1,000 on a tank of gas or use that money instead to save for a down payment on an Aston Martin? Well, since I have to go to my job as a hedge fund manager to afford the Aston, I’ll spend it on the gas.” For others, who may be juggling decisions between powdered milk and fresh fruit, this isn’t an option so much. What Mattie doesn’t understand is that waiting in line also entails a cost that makes people, rich and poor, allocate resources sensibly. Waiting in line is something everyone can do no matter how much they have in their bank account. What Mattie’s argument ultimately reduces to, then, is this:
Well, yes, the hate beating by gay bigots of a gay conservative that we reported was in fact completely bogus and fabricated by the purported victim, but you should remember that most cases of faked hate crimes are made up by black Democrats.
Just last week, Fucker Carlson’s melange of bullshit disguised as a website breathlessly reported the horrifying attack of liberal gay thugs on a poor conservative gay, proving once again that the real enemies of gays are liberals and not the conservative Republicans who have, of course, only their best interest in mind when denying them equal rights with normal, God-fearing heterosexuals. (“If they had the same rights, they would just spend themselves into poverty purchasing foo-foo frippery for their pretend weddings.”) Let’s hear if from Kyle:
“I was getting ready for work and there was a knock at the door,” Wood emailed The Daily Caller late Wednesday. “I opened it, and a guy wrapped a ligature around my neck, slammed my head into the doorway, and smashed my face into a mirror, telling me ‘You should have kept your [f*******] mouth shut.’”
“He then kidney-punched me, while at the same time saying I was ‘warned,’ and continued to beat me,” he added.
As details of Kyle’s account, including supposed anti-gay graffiti painted on his car, fell apart, Kyle recanted. Seems Mr. Wood was responsible for inflicting on himself the “injuries” shown in the helpful, illustrative photos he passed on to the Daily Fucker Carlson
ABOVE: Kyle Wood (note the dainty ligature marks on neck!)
Of course, rather than simply apologizing for having been completely taken in by a facially absurd story of a ligature wielding gay thug, Fucker Carlson’s minions decide instead to use it as an opportunity to argue that most hate crimes are self-inflicted hoaxes concocted by liberal darkies as part of the black plot to oppress white people. And to do this, Mr. Bedford dredges up the Brawley case, now a quarter of a century old. At this rate, he should have dragged in the Piltdown Man as well.
This being Halloween and a full moon, you won’t be surprised that another zombie hoaxer came knocking at Sadly, No’s doors. Remember Justin Zatkoff? We talked about Justin at the end of this post. Justin had his fifteen minutes when he claimed that he had been badly beaten by a vicious gay rights group or some other liberal thugs, and there was a picture of poor widdle Justin with a nasty shiner to prove it. Sadly, No! Justin actually got clocked by one of his own friends who was sick and tired of Justin being a loudmouthed asshole, and then Justin, trying to hide that even his own friends hate him, tried to blame it on some vicious, pumped-up fairies with a grudge against young Republicans.
So, now comes Justin knocking at our door with a takedown notice on the photo we used of him:
October 28, 2012
Re: COPYRIGHT NOTICE
To Whom It May Concern:
The following link contains a picture that is copyrighted and used on [your] hosted site without permission: http://www.sadlyno.com/wordpress/uploads/2007/12/axi41bm2.jpg
Here is the link to the full page where the infringing picture appears: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/8198.html
The above link contains copyrighted work that I request be removed or access to disabled [sic].
The Berne Convention for the Protection of Literary and Artistic Works, the Universal Copyright Convention, as well as bilateral treaties with other countries allow for protection of copyrighted work even beyond U.S. borders.
I hereby state that I have a good faith belief that the disputed use of the copyrighted material is not authorized by the copyright owner, its agent, or the law.
I hereby state that the information in this notice is accurate and, under penalty of perjury, that I am the owner, or authorized to act on behalf of the owner, of the copyright or of an exclusive right under the copyright that is allegedly infringed.
Thank you,
Justin Sean Zatkoff
[personal information redacted]
Now take a look at this screen shot of our source for the photograph
Hmm. That photo is credited to Angela Cesere, who was the managing photo editor at Michigan Daily, the student newspaper that ran the story and the photo of Justin’s hoax. So we have to wonder whether Justin is making up things (again!) when he claims to have rights to that photo. Maybe he thinks he has a copyright in his face. If he had hit himself in the face, he might have had a copyright in the injuries, but as it stands the only one with a copyright in that shiner is Justin’s “buddy” who had enough of Justin’s assholery and clocked him.
So what has Justin been up to and why is he now busy trying to expunge the Intertubes of all traces of this embarrassing incident between him and his friend? Well, it seems that Justin is now a law student at a fourth-tier law school (where the copyright doctrine of “fair use” is apparently not on the curriculum) and has high hopes of being a Justice of the Peace in Lower Frogbreath, Michigan, or some other equally distinguished village. Here’s his resume. My very favorite part is where he says he worked as a clerk for a judge who just happens to also be named Zatkoff. Way to go, Justin! That must have been a super hard job to land.
Okay, maybe so-called studies have shown that people living in blue states live longer, live healthier, have more money and new industries, are happier, and generally better looking than our conservative paradise red states, but… Um, er, we’re still outbreeding you suckers. Also racist old people retire with us, so fuck science, conservative policies FOREVAH!
Letting women talk about sex = misogyny. Outlawing abortion = true feminism.
Amidst the wingnut fauxtrage over Lena Dunham’s Obama ad (“OMFG, it has a double entendre comparing voting to sex. And, worse, double entendre is French!! And gay!!!”), Ben Shapiro’s little sissy fit really stands out. This is not surprising at all coming from a guy who holds his weewee with tweezers while peeing to avoid violating his religious convictions forbidding onanism. “Astoundingly tasteless!” Ben says. Not that this moment of high prudery is going to keep Ben from floating his own attempt at a double entendre about John Kerry’s limp dick
She actually saved herself for Barack Obama (she’s 26) – she could have swiped her V(oting)-card with John Kerry, but he was too limp a candidate, apparently. A real flip-flopper
Poor Ben. He can’t even come up with a decent double entendre worthy of being tasteless, much less astoundingly so.
But, of course, in the every-day-is-opposite day universe that extreme right wingers inhabit, a commercial with a woman making a double entendre is exploiting that woman.
So she chose to do it for the first time with Barack Obama, since he “cares about and understands women.” In fact, he understands them so well that he exploits them for insane commercials comparing losing your virginity with voting.
Obviously, women would be much less exploited having wingnuts shove ultrasound sticks up their vaginas than by being exposed, nay, raped by, gasp, doubles entendres.
Oh, and Obama, like most over-sexed Mandingos, thinks your daughters are sluts:
Obama has young daughters. But that didn’t stop him from releasing this commercial. Because this is what Obama thinks of your daughters.
Yes, instead of understanding your daughters for what they really are — breeding vessels for rapists — he thinks that they are voters who might giggle at a vaguely naughty double entendre and then, even worse, vote.
This was the photo that accompanied the post. I believe its attempted statement is: “How could a sissy man like Nate Silver ever know anything with such a faggy lady brain?” Sadly, its real statement is: “Maybe if we stopped being terrified that facts make our balls shrink, we’d actually be able to demonize our enemies without knocking ourselves repeatedly in the dick”.
So as the campaign season winds down, the right-wing finds itself desperately trying to reconcile the fact that everyone they know in KKK-ville, Crackersas are faithfully voting against their economic interests to get rid of the nigger, with the fact that the 2012 election may end up being too far away to steal. Well, if 100% of the idiots you listen to plan to vote for the Sociopath with the serial killer eyed son and reality disagrees, then that only proves that reality has once again showed its crippling liberal bias.
And any foolish person who dares note reality as if it was some uncaring arbiter of the way things actually are, is obviously just as biased as the reality they claim to “study” and “comment on”.
And since declaring liberal bias on everything from national news media to ice cream flavoring has won them nothing but people who should know better bowing and groveling before their feet, why not keep it going? And declare as enemy any who refuse to play your game?
Shorter:
Polls are LIES! Unless they agree with us, then they are the only thing that is true. So if Nate Silver refuses to bend over backwards to break his accurate model of calculating what the polls mean for us, then he’s an unamerican poopy head who doesn’t know what polls mean. Even though no one knows what they mean, because of them being lies in the tank for Obama.
I give this a week before this is passed around unironically among the wingnuts.
Kevin D. “Manly men can defy the laws of genetics with their alpha male musk” Williamson, National What’s Wrong With Your Face: The Last Radicals
Not to spoil anything, but today’s bout of neuronal spasm is about education. And like all wingnut diatribes on education, now that teachers have been declared enemy combatants, that means it’s about how education sucks and should be destroyed. Now, there could be a way to make that argument sound well… less stupid.
But, hey, maybe I’m wrong. Just because he demonstrates a genetic knowledge stemming from the fourth century BC (just scroll down to Aristotle), doesn’t mean he won’t have something cogent to a-
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
If students benefitting from a 1:1 student:teacher ratio and a curriculum that can adjust to the pace of the student have advantages over students packed 30-50 to a classroom and forced to complete endless standard timed tests. And if the more liberal beneficiaries of this system exist and integrate relatively okay into adult society, then obviously kids yanked out of school to get a crash course in evangelical religious horseshit are the shocktroopers who will destroy the evil edifice of Big Education and its unconscionable belief that kids should be “educated” with so-called “facts”. Pah, who needs facts in Bible School or Liberty University, which incidentally are the only schools said conservative kids can qualify for with the state of their “better” “education”.
So yeah, there was a debate last night and apparently Obama joined the rest of us on planet Earth in realizing that The Smiler is a lying sociopath who will say anything to get elected and thus was better prepared.
So how did it go? Well, nearly every sentient being on the planet (Larry Kudlow doesn’t count, being neither sentient nor a being and frankly I’m only fifty-fifty on him being on this planet on any given day) called it a win for Obama though some of the hacks did it through a veil of tears.
So how did wingnuts respond to this undeniable reality? Well, in basically two ways:
Overall Shorter A (the gnashing of teeth):
Obama cheated so we win by default! All his victories should go to us or he’s not a legitimate president. What’s that? Romney gained his massive bump by lying like a nicotine spokesperson and promising everyone a pony and a free blowjob in the first debate? I have no idea what you are talking about.
and
Overall Shorter B (the burning of witches):
We didn’t lose the debate, it was stolen to us by meddlesome bitches and now we will set all our energies to finding something, anything, we can use to publicly crucify them. This will hopefully scare all the rest of the uppity chattel into knowing their place and never triggering our cognitive dissonance again. War on Women? That’s what terrorists do? I have no idea what you are talking about.
At some point, you’d expect one of them to look at themselves and their desperate pleading and just let it go. Maybe enjoy the baffling gains The Smiler made in his first debate*, but no.
Biden revealed the Village’s wonk as having no policy clothes and for that he must be destroyed. Because having eyes is Liberal Facism Double Plus Ungood!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. Seriously, the entire fucking site. It’s wall to wall, wah Biden, wah, how dare Democrats campaign. If I was a hack and my “guy” was able to erase the political damage of stating half the country deserves to starve, not to mention months of complete incompetence, with one debate performance of complete fiction, I’d think I’d be cheering. But hey, whatever, right? We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
*Seriously, though, what the fuck America? The Smiler has hardly hidden what he is, what he’s going to do, and how badly he’s going to fuck every last one of us in the 99%. If a majority of Idiot America send him to the White House anyways because “black man scary” then we fucking deserve the hell we will receive.
So yeah, apparently there was a Salmonella outbreak recently. A bunch of peanut butter from about 50 “different” companies all operating out of this one factory in Georgia turned out to be tainted and there was a recall set in motion to correct the “whoopsie” otherwise known as “the FDA has been reduced to one guy named Phil”.
Luckily I was able to find this out and lend the FDA a much needed hand by becoming deliriously sick for a week until my body remembered how to properly function again. So patriotic duty fulfilled, I’m ready to jump back into the fray. Well, not so much jump per se seeing as how I managed to twist my ankle to the point it resembles a grapefruit punched repeatedly by Chris Brown.
But hey, I’m doped up on painkillers and ready for anything. C’mon wingnuts, give me your best shot!
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
We don’t need to worry about the War on Women fucking us over because women are a pack of horny dogs that think with their dicks, I mean ovaries. And Paul Ryan turns me, I mean them, on more.
Shorter Bobo D’Applebee, The New Fucking York Fucking Union Busting Times: The Policy Verdict I
Because seniors draw out more money from Medicare than they paid into it, it is better that they just get it over with and die rather than wreck the federal budget for their grandchildren.
For anyone who might for a moment think that this shorter is an exaggeration, I need only quote this from Bobo’s wet slobbering deep tongue kiss of the Romney-Ryan voucher plan for Medicare
Voucher plans may save money, but perhaps by shedding the sickest customers.
Ya think? Ya fucking think?? In 1964 we passed Medicare because only 50 percent of the elderly even had insurance and of those that did only fifty percent of those policies would cover hospitalization. That’s the free market for you. Old people get sick and need expensive care. They aren’t interesting to private insurers even if they have more money than Ann Romney’s dancing horses’ Cayman Islands trust funds. Why on earth people think that the free market system has gotten kinder and gentler since 1963 and why they think that a voucher system isn’t the moral equivalent of marching grandma onto an ice floe and pushing her out into a frigid ocean is beyond me. So yes, Brooks calls its shedding, I call it ice floes, but the bottom line is that a Medicare voucher is a one way ticket into the Arctic Ocean.
Seth McFarlane should not host the Oscars because he has told penis jokes. Penis jokes are not funny. Fart jokes are funny but only if you say flatulence instead of fart.
Shorter George F. (and you know what that stands for but if you don’t it ends in “wad”) Will, The Liberal Bastion of Columnists Charles Kraphammer and Michael Gerbilson Can Romney turn this contest around?
The real victim of racism in America is Mitt Romney.
When conservative white male pundits write about race issues, you are pretty much guaranteed that you’re going to get some version or other of the “blacks are the real racists” meme that they hold so dear to their hearts. You can expect an anecdote about a poor rich white frat boy who has some disabled black lesbian professor’s boot on his neck. Along with that will be the required observation on the unjustness of black rappers being able to say nigger when a poor white man can’t even perform in a minstrel show in blackface without being convicted of a hate crime and executed by lethal injection in Blackville, New Blackedonia.
But Will, who is the poster child for the tragedy of diminished white entitlement, has a new spin. It’s not the blacks who are racists against whites. No, it’s the whites who have now turned racist against themselves. According to Will, the American electorate is now mostly composed of self-loathing whites that would prefer to keep a blackity-black President in the White House rather than to admit that electric cars are a failure and vote for the white guy. (Seriously, Will’s biggest complaint about Obama in this column is plug-in cars.)
In the midst of this hilarity that attributes Mitt’s declining numbers to white-on-white racism there is another gem. Whereas most people talk about Jackie Robinson as a milestone in our progress against racism, Will instead finds the real milestone to be another black baseball-playing Robinson, namely Frank Robinson, a black manager of the Cleveland Indians. And it wasn’t hiring him that was the milestone. No, no siree:
[A]n even more important milestone of progress occurred June 19, 1977, when the Indians fired [Frank Robinson]. That was colorblind equality.
Yes, let’s celebrate the importance of firing a black man as the true milestone. I mean, after all, black men had never been fired before that and had been cruelly denied the white privileges of homelessness, unemployment, and poverty. For fuck’s sake, this must be the single most absurd thing to ever appear within the pages of the WaPo and you have to wonder whether in the next paragraph Will is going to claim that the true measure of racial equality is when we get can back to stringing black men up from tree limbs. Really. Or maybe the next milestone is when we stop depriving white people of being able to go to movie theatres and ride on buses with their own kind.
I should stop here but, this being Sadly, No! and my desire to humiliate this bow-tied fuckwad not being yet slaked, I want to go back to the electriccarpocalypse that Will thinks is the slam dunk reason for deposing Obama.
Tesla joins California-based Fisker, another floundering would-be maker of high-end rides for rich people, which has received a $529 million DOE loan.
Sadly, No!. The DOE authorized that amount but had only loaned $193 million before further loans from the DOE were cut off to the company last May for failure to meet milestones. So either the WaPo has no fact checkers, Will hasn’t heard about Google, or Will is a lying scumbag. I’ll take door number three, Monty.
Well with a name like that, he’ll fit right in in Australia… Monty Python is a documentary, right?
Bruce, The Quisling Report (otherwise known as GayPatriot): A World Away
Hey, as a blog writer I get it. Sometimes you’re off on vacation, needing to check up on your white slavery ring, or just ensuring the vast machinations of your worldwide communist revolution are successfully completing the schemes within schemes needed to prepare the land for the coming of the Antichrist. And so you throw up a quick picture of combine harvesters fucking and a quick paragraph about the quality of the local rent boys.
I’m not slagging on Bruce writing up a quick open thread and posting some vacation photos to it.
I’m more baffled on the state of mind that could possibly produce this paragraph.
I see news of next year’s “fiscal cliff” is finally getting through from the mainstream media today. Well, financial concern is one of the reasons for my travel binge the past two weeks. Just in case.
And it’s not even the entire paragraph that I have issue with. Sure, the first sentence is dumb, but I can at least put together the tiny frayed end of what was once a thread of “logic”. He saw some Fox News talking head telling him to be really really scared that the Economy will super-tank unless we vote for the Party that tanks economies and he obediently soiled himself.
I get that.
It’s just this:
Well, financial concern is one of the reasons for my travel binge the past two weeks. Just in case.
How?!?
How in Bill Nye’s Satanic Centrifuge does that even begin to make sense?
Has there ever been a real human being on the planet who has ever thought that?
Who’s gone, “Gosh geewhilikers Sandra, I’m just so gosh-darned concerned that the economy is tanked, my financial situation may be precarious, and it’s very possible we could be in dire straits soon. Welp, let’s spend a massive amount of money on a huge vacation trip. Yanno, just in case?”
People in the death throes of the final culmination of their multiple syphilitic symptoms who are just randomly banging letters on a keyboard couldn’t even type these words. The last remaining synapse of their dying brain would mercifully cut off their oxygen supply before they got halfway just to protect them from the embarrassment of writing something so inhumanely out-of-touch with basic humanity.
The Smiler talking to a closed room of rich amoral sociopaths wouldn’t even say a sentence like that.
It’s so bizarrely fascinating that I find myself utterly transfixed, struggling to translate the seed of an idea that could have been twisted into this current abomination.
Perhaps money worries being stressful despite being so rich you can drop down on 2 weeks in Australia to get the equivalent of a spa trip or a long bath? Obama time-travelers are planning to steal his money on the day of the Election, but they can’t steal it if it’s already been translated into dingo kidneys (that’s the Australian currency, right?)? Planning to escape the Antichrist-induced Apocalypse by hiding among the giant poisonous spiders and over-sexed bunnies?
GIVE ME SOMETHING, BRUCE!
Sigh.
Wingnuts. Somehow incapable of posting a simple “On vacation, entertain yourselves” post without at least one psychotic break from reality.
Robert Stacy McCain and/or His Live-In Gimp Smitty, The Slightly More White Supremacist McCain: Do You Believe the Ohio Polls?
It’s been an interesting weekcouple of weekscampaign life for The Smiler this last while now. Between gleefully cheering the events in Libya in the hopes of turning it into his Iran Hostage Crisis (forgetting the all important role CONTRAs have in bribing a group of foreign terrorists to throw you an election) and declaring that people are parasites if they think they have a right not to starve to death in the streets, The Smiler has taken whatever small chance of winning this election he might have had and fired it into the sun. Even with the resurgence of Jim Crow bullshit voter suppression laws, “poll defender” vigilante crews vowing to intimidate voters, and daily sacrifices to Beelzebub the Hanger of Chads, Romney is polling somewhere below Candiru fish.
Heck, Five Thirty Eight has The Smiler’s chances of winning at around 16.2% and even the Fox News polls are saying it looks like we’re about to get a repeat of the Obama/Keyes race.
Now for wingnuts, who have spent decades convincing themselves that their 27% compatriots speak for a vast silent majority that think exactly like them, these polls serve as a violent reminder of reality and really there is only three ways for them to react to the harrowing likelihood of a second ScaryBlackMan term.
1) Realize that they are the discarded refuse of history and its far beyond time they learned to grow up and accept the world as is instead of the half-remembered nostalgias of child-BWAHAHA, yeah, I can’t keep a straight face. This will never happen.
2) Prepare their Kool-Aid dispensers and tin-foil hats for another 4 years of ensuring that anything the black man wants to do is adamantly opposed by whatever dirty tricks the Legislature can throw at him.
3)
Shorter (or the last port before Jungle):
Polls and the very act of polling are a conspiracy of lies working against Republicans and thus we must oppose them and seek to destroy them and replace them with “balance” with the same fervor we have against all other sources of information about the so-called real world.
