Governor Has His Way With Our Lord's Immaculate Corpse

Judie Brown
Pontifical Academy for Life
Funder, American Life League

Mrs. Brown,

I can't express how angry I am after reading your recent column in Life Site News about Cardinal Timothy Dolan's lenience with Gov. Andrew Cuomo. While I wholeheartedly agree with your assertion that Gov. Cuomo should be excommunicated for his crimes against fetus-Americans, I'm outraged by your demand that Cardinal Dolan should deny the "body of Christ" to the governor.

To be clear, it is not the demand that has upset me, it's the news that princes of the church are pimping out the body of Our Lord and Savior to powerful men. I mean, hey, my God, according to you, Catholic Cardinals are allowing men--even men of a southern European heritage, and we know what they're like--to do what they wish with Our Lord Jesus' body.

And is it the whole body or are you just talking about His sacred foreskin? I know the church possessed the latter until it disappeared in 1983. Or did it disappear? Could it be that the cardinals are giving it to powerful men to play with or, perhaps, even suck upon like some kind of redeeming lozenge?

Or does the Church secretly possess the rest of His body, the part that was separated from the foreskin by some unknown moyel around 1 AD? If so, why doesn't Church exhibit it rather than pimp it off to sick powerful men to be treated like a drunken, yet Teutonicly Apollonian, Msgr. Georg Gaenswein on a Papal vacation?

As a member of a Vatican academy, I hope you'll look into this.

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically appropriate, and non-Christ-violating way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Republican Jesus Wishes You A Happy Gun Appreciation Day

Fox's "Nigger Inaugural"

Go easy on Fox 5's Holly Morris. It was the kind of freudian slip any conservative could make:

Sleeping

I've been on the road fighting atheistic Islamoamishism all week. I just got home and I'm exhausted. I'll be back Monday.

My Amazon Review of Glenn Beck's "Agenda 21"

Below, is my Amazon Review for Glenn Beck's Agenda 21. I'm late putting it up, so it will take a lot of "most helpful" votes to give it the title of "Most Helpful Positive Review," but with your help (vote here), it's possible.

Fiction, Fact, and the 5.56mm Truth, January 16, 2013
By Gen. JC Christian, patriot

This review is from: Agenda 21 (Kindle Edition)
This is a work of fiction that could, very well, someday be stocked on the current events shelf in the non-fiction section of your favorite bookstore. Or, at least, that's what the "author," and top reviewers would have you believe.

But is that truly the case? Will the Agenda 21 Enforcers use Obama's UN-based laws to force our future Emmelines to pledge allegiance to spotted owls and snail darters?

Anyone who believes in the power and the importance of the Second Amendment knows such a future is impossible. Armed patriots will stop Obama's tanks, the UN's jet fighters, and the reptilian aliens' vipersturmen when they come to take our guns.

Only the deserving few, those who refuse to purchase firearms, will be eaten during the great molting fests, and among them, only Piers Morgan, George Soros, and perhaps the comedian, Carrot Top, will be mounted by the Imperial Szliardisterg before the Great and Terrible Devouring.

We patriots will be armed, safe, and happy in our gated mobile home communities. We'll be playfully punching each other's arms, drinking Night Train, eating Moon Pie Chocolate Flavor - 24 ct. box, and shooting spouses, goldarned random sumbishes, and scary-looking people, while the Obamunists suffer under the lizard's lash.

Jesus Commands Us to Pack Heat

Christian lawyer Matthew B. Toze--a man who apparently wonders "what the hell a 'met-are-for,' anyway; are it used in baseball?"--did himself a whole passle full of researchin' and found that Jesus, the Prince of Peace, commands us to bear arms:

Jesus commanded his disciples to purchase a sword and encouraged his disciples to have swords. See Luke 22:36-38:

Then He said to them, "But now, he who has a money bag, let him take it, and likewise a knapsack; and he who has no sword, let him sell his garment and buy one. For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me: 'And He was numbered with the transgressors.' For the things concerning Me have an end." So they said, "Lord, look, here are two swords." And He said to them, "It is enough."

Are You Singing "Karma Chameleon" to Me, Punk?

Back when I was a tiny little miltia general, I spent a lot of time watching the news with Grandma Lila. She lived for the news. It gave her an opportunity shake her head and declare, "wicked, wicked world" each time Walter Kronkite finished a story.

Grandma would shake her head clean off if she saw the state of the world today. It's as wicked a place ss a place can be, and nothing illustrates that more than the current debate about shooting people. These days, a guy can't even go out and exercise his god-given right to shoot a passle of funny looking or weird acting people without the whole country getting its ass in an uproar.

It wasn't always like that. As homosexualist-fighting culture ninja Scott Livley notes, People celebrated God as a hero after he massacred every man, woman, and child in Sodom City simply because they sang homosexualist wedding songs.

Can you imagine what would happen if God did that today. He'd be arrested immediately in any jurisdiction outside of Florida or Texas.

That's where we've come to.

Note: I'm on the road this week and posting via Kindle. Please forgive the lack of graphics and any typos I fail to catch.

Patriot Says Skateboarder Tony Hawk Played Key Role in Sandy Hook Shooting Hoax

As much as I enjoyed sister pastor's wife Zsuzsana's groundbreaking post exposing the Sandy Hook shootings as a false flag operation to seize our guns, it was a link in her comments that provided the most important clues about the hoax.

At his website, WellAware1, American patriot Ed Chiarni exposes the children of baseball great, Hank Greenberg, as the brains behind the operation. According to Mr. Ed, no one died at Sandy Hook Elementary and actors hired by the Greenbergs played all the roles of the victims, family, and law enforcement we saw on our television sets.

Mr Ed's investigation is exhaustive and much too comprehensive to post here, but here's a short list of a few of the actors he indicts:

Skateboarder Tony Hawk, his wife, Lhotse, and their daughter played the roles of victim characters Emili Parker and her family.

The Office's Toby Flenderson (Paul Lieberstein) plays Newtown Police Chief character Michael Kehoe and co-star Angela Kinsey (Angela Martin) "looks exactly like Sandy Hook teacher 'Kaitlin Roig.'"

Former Klinton spokes Dee Dee Myers plays the part of Cathy Gaarden who was interviewed about one of the victims on television. Mr. Ed: "..they are attempting to trical the investigators and have them make a mistake by identifying the principal as Hillary [Clinton] when it's Dee Dee Myers."

This isn't Mr. Ed's first investigation. He's also identified actors playing roles in other tragedies:

The Oregon mall shooting featured former Obama campaign manager David Plouffe as Clackamas County Sheriff's Lt. James Rhodes.

Kevin Costner played pedophile coach character Jerry Sandusky; Ted Nugent played Sandusky's lawyer; and Spinal Tap actor Michael McKean (who is really the late actor, John Ritter) played the part of Rupert Murdoch.

And, of course, Adolph Eichmann was actually Bing Crosby.

Tactical Firearms Training for the Maniacally Teabagged

Firearms training guru James Yeager is a manly, masculine, kind of man, the kind of man who spurts concentrated testosterone from every pore, the kind of man who can prompt hair to grow on a woman's breast by simply passing gas in her vicinity, the kind of man who hates with such blind, ball-scratching fury, he's destined to get his own show on Fox some day.

And there's two kinds of people Yeager hates: unhearlandishly-hued presidents and, uh, people:

I’m not fucking putting up with this. I’m not letting my country be ruled by a dictator. I’m not letting anybody take my guns! If it goes one inch further, I’m going to start killing people.

Ok, well, three kinds of people:

And all you fucking fair-weather Second Amendment people that are telling me I’m doing a fucking disservice by saying that I’m not going to stand for the tyranny, fuck you.

Make that four kinds of people:

Our country wasn’t founded by a bunch of fair-weather pussies. Either you’re in or you’re out, and if you’re out, don’t call yourself a fucking Second Amendment advocate.

And by God you better believe he can do it. As the CEO of Tactical Response Inc, Yeager not only eats, breaths, and engages in acts of unspeakably carnality with all manner of tactical firearms, he teaches courses like:

Fighting Pistol
2 Days

Details:
The root word to "gunfight" isn't "gun".
It is "FIGHT"!

and

Intermediate Distance Fighting Rifle
2 Days

Details:
...As you know from your Fighting Rifle class we train for close and fast gun fighting. In the Intermediate Distance class we progress from the CQB mindset to implementing the rifle at longer distances...We are going to teach you how to reliably hit human sized targets with a plain old Fighting Rifle.

But what if you need to defend yourself from a mile away?

High Risk Civilian Contractor-Sniper
5 days $1150.00

Details:
This 5 day course is taught by our cadre of seasoned active military and police snipers. We cover the skills required by anyone who wants to hit small targets at extended distances....We will cover known and unknown engagements out to 500 yards. We will teach you how to set up your weapon and gear for missions, cover care and cleaning of equipment and ammo selection for the job, and conduct graded stalks and courses of fire. We want you to leave this course a newly trained sniper that can complete the mission and get home safely

He'll even teach you how to rid your neighborhood of those pesky Muslims:

Active Shooter Mobile
2 days $ 500.00

Details:
The threat of a depressed student, disgruntled employee, or Islamic terrorist is REAL. This course teaches the police officer or armed citizen the tactics needed to end the violence quickly and efficiently...

In the past these have been our home grown psychopaths and sociopaths but there are other dangers. Many people have seen scenes from the "al-Qaeda Training Tapes" but the horrors of what they are planning on doing in America are far worse than the clips of the evening news.

And, finally, for those who need to learn both how to kill and how to pack a bag lunch:

Combative Pistol
2 days
Topics covered in this course will include:

Rapid presentation from concealed carry
Effective gun handling technques, designed to work under stress
Rapid reloading techniques
High Speed accuracy at close ranges
Precision shooting at mid-ranges
Shooting effectively with one hand, with either hand
Fixing malfunctions rapidly and reliably
Proper defensive mindset, personal tactics, and more
Bag Lunch