Sunday, October 25, 2015

Heavy metal, Black and Silver
Valhalla, we are coming

A concert at the local Heavy Metal venue is devoted to raising funds for the SPCA, the animal welfare charity. How much more soppy could this be? None more soppy. 
It is only a matter of time before the bands release videos in which the thunderous chords and paint-stripping vocals are accompanied by footage from Kitten-Cam.

In other news, there proves to be no link between coat colour and aggressiveness in cats:*
 Clearly the researchers never had the experience of trying to dye a Siamese purple.

* Kudos to the researchers for describing their 1274 respondents as "cat guardians".

Thursday, October 22, 2015

"For instance, it is possible that a medicine man may emit a focused electromagnetic signal during a fertility ritual that actually increases the germination rate of seeds in a field."

Here is Canadian-born psychiatrist Colin A. Ross using his optical energy beams to defeat the reigning champion of Chessboxing. For shame, Dr Ross, that is CHEATING, which we condemn in strong terms and impressive deep voices.
Eye lasers seem to have become a recurring theme at Riddled. I suspect that tigris and Another Kiwi added them as a rider to the corporate emission statement while I was up at the bar.

But Ross has a distinctive spin on the trope. He argues that his optical extraemissions are in the ELF radio band of 3 to 30 Hz (i.e. with wavelengths on the scale of the Earth's diameter), and are neural oscillations that instead of being measured by an EEG and labeled with Greek letters, have been focussed and directed along the optic nerves. Apparently they are not attenuated by distance in the usual inverse-square way, and allow us to cast the Evil Eye, also to communicate with submarines, which is why the US closed its Code SANGUINE ELF-transmitter facility.
Ross is thinking along similar lines to Professor Persinger (whom FMS preserve) of Ontario, and the two of them might find common ground if they got in touch, possibly by synchronising their β- and θ-rhythms with the Schumann resonant frequencies of the ionosphere.
Synchronised Omega
rhythms: Not advised

Human ocular extramission detection goggles
Fortunately Dr Ross is comfortable with espousing positions that stray from the psychiatric mainstream. He is expert in Repressed Memory Recovery therapy, with a special fondness for recovering memories of Satanic Ritual Abuse; also in Multiple Personality Disorder, and the CIA program to brainwash children and inculcate them with Manchurian-candidate programmed-assassin alternative personalities. More recently he has criticised the psychiatric profession for its over-eagerness to dish out the drugs before demonstrating evidence of therapeutic value.

Here Ross knows whereof he speaks, for he is on record for treating patients with an "ultra-high dosage" experimental regime of lorazepam and triazolam (51 mg/day instead of 0.5)... as part of treatment that the patients later characterised as an exercise in splitting their psyches into multiple Alters, motivated perhaps by curiosity.*

Ross was subsequently sacked from Boniface Hospital and made his way from Winnipeg to yes, naturally, Texas. From there he promotes the risible discredited 'trophoblast theory of cancer', and defends cancer-quack / scammer Gonzalez by extruding papers for journal-shaped rubbish-bins.** He also provides psychiatric services in Dallas, runs a trauma program in Michigan, provides the 'Hannibal' scriptwriters with inspiration, and advises other scriptwriters on how to convincingly construct a multiple-personality narrative.

No-one could have expected that
Most of the people the Ross Institute treats describe very traumatic and abusive childhoods.

* Iatrogenic MPD should not be confused with Iagogenic jealousy [W. Shakespeare 1603].

** “Academicians’ Research Center” is a bunch of bottom-feeding Indian vanity-press grifters who are distinguished from other predatory publishers mainly by their unusual level of illiteracy.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Tell me what you know!
The tips on the ends of shoelaces are called "aglets"; their true purpose is sinister

A useful list of misspelled words:
So if chromosomes are shoelaces -- perhaps the scrunchy kind that the Doktorling Sonja liked a decade or so ago -- then the aiglets at the tips to stop them unravelling are telomeres. I don't know where velcro straps fit into this analogy. Anyway, just as telomeres get shorter during each generation of stem-cell replication in an animal's lifetime, so the aiglets abrade away while shoelaces reproduce and bootstraps lift themselves, which is the only thing stopping shoelaces from overpopulating their ecological niche.

Leading to the conclusion that since aging happens, and telomere-shortening happens, then the latter must be causing the former.* It follows through a process of geometric logic that crocheting telomere extensions onto the ends of chromosomes would bring rejuvenation, just as cleaning up bear scat in the woods prevents bear attacks.**

Our attempt to test this theory in the Riddled Research Laboratory by inserting a tiny French-knitting spool into the nucleus of every cell was not an entire success, as the nanotech was not up to the challenge of turning the heel, let alone of closing the toe, and the spool continued until every nucleus filled up with an endless muffler of nucleotides. Still, the true mad scientist knows better than to obsess about "What could go wrong" and "Ordained limits to human knowledge."
Bonus nucleotide muffler
"J'ai glet rien", Another Kiwi agreed.

Naturally we are not well-pleased with the discovery that other people are selling herbal extracts to stimulate the telomerase enzyme complex and lengthen the telomeres naturally (not to mention the herbal supplements that inhibit telomerase and cure cancer). In the case of Tony MacKenzie of Advantage Import-Export, the extract is Cycloastragenol a.k.a. HTA98 a.k.a. TA-65 a.k.a. TAT2, from Astragalus membranaceus roots. Do not buy Chinese-sourced cycloastragenol capsules, they are the work of frauds and unscrupulous hucksters. The genuine product is expensive because the plant is rare and hard work to obtain, providing us with opportunities to joke about "Per Ardua ad Astragalus".
Tony is also instigator of The Mackenzie Protocol™ [motto: "Anti-aging research on a budget!"]. As such, he offers
Tony seriously needs to contact the coherent biophoton brain-laser crowd, because what is the use of opening it if your Third Eye does not shoot out feckin' laser beams?

Tony's qualifications are not weighted heavily towards academic recognition, but he does boast of receiving "a certificate of recognition of lifetime achievement from Donald Trump"; also "a course completion certficate for Advanced Cellular Health" from German HIV-denying grifter Rath. That brought him to the attention of people who monitor HIV-denialism. A few years ago he was issuing bumptious, censorious legal threats against skeptical bloggers, but they do not seem to have progressed.

Tony's chief competitor, and the main person pimping Cycloastragenol, would be William Andrews, whose self-penned and surprisingly untrue Whackyweedia entry emphasises puffery in Popular Science in preference to citing more academic journals. Having somewhere acquired the title of "Discoverer of Telomerase" (and taken the credit for the Karolinska Institute's decision to award the 2009 Nobel Prize to Blackburn, Greider and Szostak), Andrews passed through New Zealand earlier this year -- as the guest of local Chase Life Extension Foundation -- to spread the gospel about telomerase activation.

Oddly enough, Cycloastragenol is no longer in the picture, with a "TAM-818 product" taking its place, the additional characters perhaps making it more effective than mere TA-65 or TAT2. Evidently this is because new pharmaceutical products may show efficacy, but they must pass regulatory tests; whereas established botanicals might be worthless but have compensatory advantages.
In their initial conversation John suggested that Bill could bypass the prohibitive FDA cost/delay and regulation of a drug rollout by creating a nutraceutical formulation sourcing chemical compounds from natural botanicals of Chinese, Ayurvedic and European origin. These botanical ingredients are labeled by the FDA as GRAS – generally regarded as safe.
The shift in emphasis gave us "Product B" from Andrews' company -- "a proprietary blend of some 30 herbal products such as thistle, horny goat weed, ginseng, and green tea" -- which may or may not be related to TAM-818.

In a parallel development, Tony MacKenzie has also moved on from the telomerase side of the street and is now aboard the GcMAF scamwagon!

Synthetic peptide GcMAF to be made available worldwide by The Longevity Revolution™

This is good news, not just for us, but also for all those customers concerned about the human-plasma origins of the chromatography fraction sold as GcMAF in some circles; or about the magic yogurt in which a proprietary ecosystem of bacteria and yeast have turned bovine proteins into the human immune-boosting molecule WITH INEVITABLE RESULTS.
It it had been me who finally characterised this nebulous and ill-defined molecule by reverse-engineering its amino-acid sequence, I would have published it for the fame and the fortune, but fortunately not everyone is as mercenary.***
-------------------------------------------------
Bonus eye-lasers:

Bonus alternative title:

Come, Mr Telomere, Telomere Bananas


* Telomere-truncation has become a hot topic for churnalism, with enhanced interrogation of data -- justified with an invocation of the Ticking-Biological-Clock scenario -- to create headlinable studies... which is how we learned that high-fructose beverages accelerate aging (as long as one examines a sufficiently restricted subset of data).

** Some would opt for "lesses" rather than "scat", as specific to the bear and the boar as beasts of raven and prey, but at Riddled we are not quite that pedantic.

*** Whoops! Full sequence is known.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Not just your river in Europe

The anti-tsunami anti-sea-level dam around the entire coastline was not cheap but we knew it would come in useful one day to keep out the Yellow Peril:
Wait, it turns out that "border" is a headline-writer's abbreviation for "airport".
An Indian woman who tried to bring cow urine into the country was fined $400 for not declaring it.
The urine was found at Wellington airport in September after an x-ray of the woman's bag made customs staff suspicious.
The woman intended to use the urine for medicinal purposes. Cows are considered sacred in India.
"When the officers started to inspect the contents of the luggage, they found two bottles of cow urine for medicinal purposes," Ministry for Primary Industries spokesman Antony Owen told 3 News.
He said the belief that certain animal products had a medicinal use often stopped people from thinking they needed to declare it.
We probably get things like this because they are related to culture, religion or traditional medicines. When they fall into that category that can cloud people's judgement sometimes in what they're declaring."
Cow urine was last halted in Wellington airport in 2012.
People are smuggling cow urine into New Zealand, because cows here are such a rarity.
We must fortify the border defenses!
Cow-piss is increasingly popular as a beverage in India (surprisingly, our mainstream brewers have not seen the export opportunities) because of encouragement from the elected Hindu theocracy.
The room reverberates with a droning, mechanical whir, and it’s redolent with a distinctive smell — like when you first open a jar of multivitamins, combined with a gas station men’s room.*
That’s because the clear liquid in the bottles is purified cow’s urine — quite possibly the fastest growing alternative medicine in India these days.
“Cow’s urine is a diuretic. It helps in detoxification of the body, and many other beneficial effects are described in the Sanskrit scriptures, such as helping to expel excess bile,” says Anil Kumar, a vaidya — practitioner of Ayurvedic medicine — employed by the company Divya Pharmacy.
Since successive Indian governments stepped up their promotion of alternative medicine a decade or so ago, unproven health products and nutritional supplements made from cow milk, cow urine and cow dung have become huge business.
Reviving medieval stupidity as an expression of nationalism is what theocrats do best (that, and creating new grifting niches). Perhaps the BJP will re-formalise the caste system as the next step in their appeal to cultural pride.
It is not recorded whether the woman was flying in cattle class.


* The description of the factory does not use the word "inspissate"; I am inconsolable.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

In his Mountain View Googleplex, dead Cthulhu waits Deepdreaming

Other Re-animated GIFs do not work as well as the Deepdonald, perhaps because the neural network has less difficulty recognising the actual faces.
Still, there is a nice Archimboldi effect going on.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Google Deepdream has an inordinate fondness for Trump

Original GIF from Oregon Beer Snob


"and his hair was PERFECT!", said H. Rumbold (Master Barber) in comments. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Friday, October 9, 2015

"Mea Tulpa, mea maxima Tulpa", as the young Dalai Lama would respond when his tutors asked him who ate the last Chocolate Hobnob

"Vanishing-twin syndrome," I announced, "is the new Birth Trauma."

"Have you been smoking the dried leeches again?" inquired tigris.

"They are for medicinal purposes only," I said. "I have just been appraised of the fact that embryonic, in-utero experiences are encoded in the epigenome and haunt our post-parturition lives as repressed memories. Specifically, the experience of sharing the womb with a fellow-blastocyte that did not survive the entire pregnancy, or even long enough to be detected. Anyway, vaping leech extract is different, all the cool kids are doing it."
"Fetus papyraceus does not appear to be in use as a band name," Another Kiwi helpfully vouchsafed.

If the Whackweedia is to be trusted (but it is a lying jade), then the Vanishing Twin phenomenon is already deeply entrenched within popular culture, as a plot device in House and Criminal Minds and such as... although the focus there has been on absorption of the weaker twin by the stronger, turning the survivor into a genetic chimæric mosaic.
More recent illustrations of graft
chimær
æ in plants are available but
there is no point in owning an 80-year-
old familial copy of Science of Life if
one cannot pillage it for artwork
So it was inevitable that a psychologist [this being a term of art, here used to mean "shameless careerist bullshitter who informs Psychology Today-reading hipsters about the latest developments in self-obsessed neuroses"] would use the phenomenon to create a new psychological syndrome, and to stake out a new clientele for therapy, in which one's sense of dissatisfaction -- and the failure of consumer acquisitions to assuage one's sense of existential incompletion -- all arise from separation from a vanished womb-partner. I am not making this up:
Do you have a nagging intuition about someone in your life who feels vaguely missing? Odds are your intuition is correct. While there are many possible sources that your intuition is giving you fuzzy access to, one possibility is that you have a case of vanishing twin syndrome. As a therapist who specializes in couples therapy, I have found it very helpful for both partners when the reality of an intuition, including if its source is vanishing twin syndrome, is clarified.
The urge to create an immaterial psychic-emanation double of oneself, a Tulpa, stems from the same root. But it is not a proper syndrome until someone is promoting Re-Twinning Therapy. Alas, the Psych Today scamster has only progressed as far as Energy Therapy:
When I need to help my clients to uncover the very-early-in-life experiences that may have left residues of chronic intuitions that something was wrong, I find that energy therapy treatment methods are essential. For these, I ask one of the energy therapists in our office suite of multiple independent therapy professionals to join me for a session in which we work together, combining my conventional therapy techniques with their deeper-access energy methods.
(it is reassuring to know that Psych. Today is the voice of factual, empirical psychology, which has ousted the charlatans and magical thinkers who plagued the discipline in the past and gave it an undeserved reputation as a haunt of grifters).

Birth-trauma belief systems and the fad for parturition-dramaturgy were an entertaining feature of the 70s, apart from the occasional death when rebirthing therapists became over-enthusiastic with their reenactment of a difficult labour. My own invention of De-birthing therapy never caught on.

Re-Twinning Therapy is where you overcome the trauma of separation from the other self by re-enacting the whole inter-uterine experience more successfully, with nine months of close confinement on life-support followed by happy emergence into a wider universe. If nothing else, this will be a boon for recruiting people to migrate to Mars.

Alternative Beckett rebirthing-therapeutic title: 
Astride of a grave and a difficult birth. Down in the hole, lingeringly, the grave digger puts on the forceps.