Bill and Giuliana Rancic had their baby boy – Edward Duke Rancic! So exciting for them! Baby Edward was born on August 29 at 10:29 pm to the proud parents who were in the delivery room.

Who wouldn’t wish them this wonderful blessing, especially after everything they have been through with Giuliana's breast cancer diagnosis?

After undergoing a double mastectomy, Giuliana's doctor delivered the disappointing news that it was not safe for her to get pregnant until she is cancer free for 5 years. Given that Giuliana would be into her 40s by then, she and Bill considered alternative options to have a child. Lucky for them, they could afford the hefty cost of hiring a gestational carrier to carry their baby.

Not everyone is so fortunate. Although the surrogate is paid approximately $30,000 for her services, the cost to the parents is in the range of $100,000 by the time medical bills and agency fees are included. At that hefty price, even professional couples with a double income struggle to afford surrogacy.

Assuming a woman can carry a child herself but just needs help getting pregnant, In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) is always on option. However, each cycle of IVF costs from $10,000-$15,000 on average. Although that is significantly less expensive than a gestational surrogate, if it takes several attempts to become pregnant with IVF that cost will quickly add up.

What about adoption? Not so fast. Literally, not so fast. Domestic and international adoptions can take years. And, depending on the country from which the child is adopted, the couple will need to have been married for at least 3-5 years before being eligible. Not good news to couples who waited until later in life to get married and have children. Not to mention, adoptions are also expensive - one well-known Chicago adoption agency charges fees of $30,000 for a domestic adoption and from $15,000-$40,000+ for an international adoption.

Adopting a child involves taking certain risks. The child's genetics are an unknown, as are the habits or health concerns of the mother carrying the child. Yes, it is possible for parents to have their own biological child with significant health issues. However, in the adoptive scenario, those ordinary risks are compounded by the unknown influences the child may have been exposed to in utero – cigarette smoke, alcohol, and on and on.

If one is not willing to allow some form of exposure to less than ideal influences, the wait for a child can be 4 years or more. Further, prospective adoptive parents are counseled to expect that there will be some type of medical or behavioral issues, but that the particular issues and severity will be an unknown.

And, as far as domestic adoptions are concerned, those can be quite tricky to obtain. Today, adoptions are now much more open than they used to be, with the birth mother often choosing which family she wants to raise her child. Prospective parents put together marketing packets about themselves and adoptive mothers are given 10 or more packets from which to choose. Prospective parents can get their hopes up time and time again, only to not be chosen.

One in 4 couples of any age have trouble conceiving. It pays to know the options to prevent any future complications.

Here are 4 things to consider when starting a family:

1. Check the health insurance policy of both partners

Some states require infertility coverage while others do not. For a complete list, visit einsurance.com or resolve.org. Regardless of the state of residence, the couple's insurance policies should be checked to see if there is fertility coverage and what is included. Sometimes only part of the procedure is covered and a hefty difference may still be left over. In addition, always check with the insurance carrier prior to having fertility testing or procedures, as some insurance carriers require pre-approval.

2. Consider Infertility Coverage

In the event that the couple's insurance policies do not provide infertility coverage, or provide limited coverage, consider buying it. These policies cover a variety of procedures; so before deciding what policy is right, consider the actions to take in the event of having difficulty conceiving. Intrauterine Insemination? IVF? Surrogacy? Adoption? Check to see whether a policy offers these coverages. In addition, pay attention to waiting periods, procedures included, and procedures excluded.

3. Maximize Flexible Spending Accounts

A partner's employer may offer a Flexible Spending Account to which a couple can deposit pre-tax dollars from which out of pocket medical expenses can be reimbursed. To the extent that one has medical testing and procedures, such as IVF, that are not covered by insurance companies, one can at least help defer part of these costs by maxing out a Flex Plan. Savvy FSA users can attempt to time incurring these costs to maximize plans over a two year time frame by scheduling procedures near the end of one plan year and at the beginning of the next plan year, if timing allows.

4. Consider the Time-frame – Think Now, Not Later

Everyone knows that the older a woman gets, the more difficult it becomes to conceive. However, most do not know that the age of the man's sperm also affects the ability to conceive. Considering the options is something best done early on, not when a couple actually agrees the time has come to have a baby. These days, couples often wait until later in life to marry and decide they want to start a family.

This timetable certainly increases the risk that there will be difficulty conceiving. In addition, at the maternal age of 40 and after trying for a year, there is only a 2% chance that a couple can become pregnant on their own. That goes up to a 6% chance with Intrauterine Insemination and 12% chance with in vitro fertilization. Further, at the maternal age of 40, there is a 1 in 97 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome. The earlier one contemplates pregnancy, the less one risks having a child with birth defects and the better chance of becoming pregnant.

There are many ways to bring a baby into one's life, but it can be hard navigating the options, not to mention affording them. Let's hope with some thoughtful planning everyone that wants to start a family can be as lucky as Bill and Giuliana Rancic. Congratulations to the new parents!

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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
When You're Not Expecting:
An Infertility Survival Guide
by Constance Hoenk Shapiro

-- Surviving the challenges of infertility
Often enduring years of heartache, couples with infertility number over 7.3 million. Enduring the daunting difficulties of treatment is something few women are prepared for.

Based on the personal stories of 200 women determined to overcome infertility, this surprisingly upbeat survivors' guide gives the kind of hard-won wisdom essential to making it through the process.

Not only does the book detail coping strategies, it also presents tips for strengthening stressed relationships and addresses the unique needs of single women and lesbians.

An essential guide for women and couples, friends and family, and health care providers and therapists, this book offers the solace and strength needed to prevail even after years of struggle.

Written by a therapist, consultant, and public speaker dedicated to the study of infertility and its emotional impact.

For any woman or couple who feel as if they're facing infertility alone, When You're Not Expecting is a must-have book.

Paperback: 272 pages
Click to order/for more info: When You're Not Expecting

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When I realized my parents were older than other kids', I felt embarrassed and angry, that they weren't like the parents on TV, said Rich Simon, a Washington psychotherapist whose parents were in their 40's when he was born.

Because they died fairly young, I became sort of an orphan at a relatively early age.

But Dr. March Enders, a Washington physician who was 47 when her son was born, said: When you are an older parent, you really want your child.

I felt more well defined in my career and had a lot more self-esteem, and, oddly enough, having Tommy has kept us young.

Despite a multitude of studies and headlines about women putting off childbearing until their late 30's and early 40's, surprisingly little attention has been paid to children of older parents.

For many, the emotional texture of their childhoods and their experiences in early adulthood are quite different from those of their peers whose parents are younger.

Read more: OLDER PARENTS' CHILD: GROWING UP SPECIAL

Photo credit: The Rippys
by Jordan Fischer on Flickr
Some rights reserved

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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Pregnancy Miracle
by Lisa Olsen

-- A 279-page, instantly downloadable e-book presenting a 5-step, sure-fire, 100% guaranteed, clinically proven holistic and ancient Chinese system for permanently reversing your infertility and your partner's infertility disorders and getting pregnant quickly, naturally and safely within 2-4 months without drugs, dangerous surgeries, side effects, or expensive infertility treatments.

It's probably the most powerful infertility reversal system ever developed, and currently the best-selling e-book of its kind on the entire Web!

Here's what the author Lisa Olson had to say about her incredible program:
After 14 years of trial, error and experimentation, I finally discovered the answer to infertility and developed a fool-proof system to getting pregnant the natural way - no drugs, or surgery necessary.

It took a lot of research to get to where I am today, to know exactly what works and what doesn't. Yes, after desperate trial and error, countless of useless treatments, disappointments and agony, a simple holistic system opened the door to my new and much brighter life of motherhood.

I was also excited to see that my other infertility related symptoms had diminished. After years of waiting I was finally free from Infertility! I have become a proud mother of two.

"And now I'm finally revealing my secrets in this new 'encyclopedia' of pregnancy called, Pregnancy Miracle."

"I will be your own personal coach, take you by the hand, and lead you through the lousy advice, hype and gimmicks... and directly to the sort of inner balance perfection that will end your battle with infertility forever and help you become a proud mother of your healthy children."


Click to order/for more info on this helpful program:
Pregnancy Miracle

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In Murphy Lives Here, Dr. Merryl J. Polak discusses the difficulties of wanting to have a family when motherhood seems out of reach.

Emma Porter expresses her overall satisfaction with being a happy wife and successful teacher. She felt that when the time was right, her feelings would tell her when she wanted to add the responsibilities of loving mother to her life's resume.

But her biological clock gave her a rude awakening, and before she knew it, the desire to become a mother overpowered every other aspect of her life.

Porter was stunned when she discovered she was unable to get pregnant. She and her husband strategically planned for a year before turning to professional assistance. After a series of tests failed to reveal conclusive evidence, Porter and her husband were left with a diagnosis of unexplained infertility.

After using every possible alternative, the Porters decided to pursue adoption. Even through this time-consuming process, the Porters continued to try to conceive a biological baby. After numerous in vitro attempts, a series of miscarriages and a withering bank account, the couple learned they had been selected as the adoptive parents of a newborn baby girl.

Unfortunately, even this event was short lived when the birth parents changed their mind about the adoption. After months of communication with the birth parents and equal parenthood planning, the Porters had to return the infant to her birth parents after five days.

Murphy Lives Here showcases the hard reality of adults who face these issues. But Polak says she believes readers will be left with a series of emotions after they finish her book.

Readers will undoubtedly be left questioning the merits, laws and rights of those who dream of parenthood, but have been denied that privilege by biology or the letter of the law, Polak says.

While other books discuss the topic of infertility or the agonizing anticipation of adoption, Polak believes hers is unique as it identifies with a woman's story about infertility treatments, miscarriages and adoption loss simultaneously. Polak's honest view of infertility and adoption highlights the triumphs and disappointments from the view point of a woman who is desperate to become a mother.

Photo credit: MurphyLivesHere
All rights reserved

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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Murphy Lives Here
by Dr. Merryl J. Polak

-- Initially apprehensive about becoming a mother, Emma mapped out her life plans steered by fulfillment of a happy marriage and career.

She thought she might one day feel ready and willing to add the role of mother to her life's responsibilities, but she had not quite figured out when that would occur.

When Emma's biological clock smacked her upside the head and she suddenly craved motherhood over every other aspect of life, she was stunned to discover that she could not get pregnant.

After a year of ovulation test kits and timed baby making under her belt, it was inevitable that other avenues needed exploration.

After pursuing every option, including adoption, Emma learned that becoming a parent was not as simple a process as she had always envisioned.

Paperback: 226 pages
Click to order/for more info: Murphy Lives Here

Start reading Murphy Lives Here on your Kindle in under a minute!

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

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December 20, 2006 - China is imposing new restrictions on foreign adoptions, barring applicants who are unmarried, obese, over 50 or who take antidepressants, according to U.S. adoption agencies.

The restrictions are meant to limit adoptions to “only the most qualified families,” said the Web site of one agency, Harrah’s Adoption International Mission in Spring, Texas.

The agency said China has pledged to try to make more children available to those who qualify.

This Pregnancy Over 40 story was found on NBCnews.com
Read more: China tightens adoption rules
Originally posted in December 20, 2006.


Photo credit: China-Xian-Oct. 1 baby #3, by Carol Schaffer, on Flickr
Some rights reserved

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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Silent Tears: A Journey of Hope in a Chinese Orphanage
by Kay Bratt

-- Irrepressible memories. Vacant eyes. A child being dangled from a third story window. A boy tied to a chair. Children sleeping in layers of clothing to fight off the bitter cold. An infant dying from starvation. Some things your mind will never allow you to forget.

Silent Tears is the true story of the adversity and triumphs one woman faced as she fought against the Chinese bureaucracy to help that country’s orphaned children.

In 2003, Kay Bratt’s life changed dramatically. A wife and mother of two girls in South Carolina, Bratt relocated her family to rural China to support her husband as he took on a new management position for his American employer. Seeking a way to fill her days and overcome the isolation she experienced upon arriving in a foreign country, Bratt began volunteering at the local orphanage. Within months, her simple desire to make use of her time transformed into a heroic crusade to improve the living conditions and minimize the unnecessary deaths of Chinese orphans.

Silent Tears traces the emotional hurdles and daily frustrations faced by Ms. Bratt as she tried to change the social conditions for these marginalized children. The memoir vividly illustrates how she was able to pull from reservoirs of inner strength to pursue her mission day after day, leaving the reader with the resounding message that everyone really can make a difference.

Paperback: 354 pages
Click to order/for more info: Silent Tears
US | Canada | UK

-- Start reading Silent Tears on your Kindle in under a minute!
US | Canada | UK

Don't have a Kindle?
Get your Kindle here: US | Canada | UK , or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

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More "Pregnancy Over 40" blogs to visit:
• Life Begins... - Pregnancy stories of loss, hope and help
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• You Can Get Pregnant in Your 40's - Sharing articles, discussing options and suggestions
• Stories of Pregnancy and Birth over 44 - sharing news stories I find online, for inspiration!

Trying to have our own baby made John and me miserable. Admitting defeat was a heartbreak -- and a revelation.

Since puberty, I’d been telling myself a wonderful story. It starts with the ecstasy of discovering that I’m pregnant, then moves on to feeling the baby kick and placing John’s hand on my belly. He feels it, too. We’re madly in love. I give birth in a hospital, aided by a midwife. No medication, no complications. I’m a champ. And the most fulfilling relationship of my life begins at that moment, when I’m handed my firstborn.

Read more

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TODAY'S BOOK SUGGESTION:
Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility
by Marlo Schalesky

-- Contains frank and emotionally resonate stories from both men and women facing the struggle of infertility.

Mother's Day is not a joyful occasion for all women, particularly those who would like to have children but cannot.

Marlo Schalesky's Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling with Infertility does for Christian women what Rabbi Nina Beth Cardin's Tears of Sorrow, Seeds of Hope: A Jewish Spiritual Companion for Infertility and Pregnancy Loss did for Jewish women: provide comfort and camaraderie in the face of infertility and pregnancy loss.

Paperback: 188 pages
Click to order/for more info: Empty Womb, Aching Heart

Start reading on your Kindle in under a minute!

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.

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Erica Walther Schlaefer and her husband, A.J. Schlaefer, adopted their son, born in Korea, in 2008. Almost immediately they began to share the gift of family with others who have struggled with infertility.

The Irondequoit couple knows what it's like to hope every day for a child, to tell themselves that getting pregnant is natural and simple and that next month will be different. They know what it's like to endure years of infertility treatments, characterized by needles and bruises and pain and, finally, disappointment.

Their experience led to Parenthood For Me, a nonprofit organization that provides couples with information and resources to help them sort through both infertility and adoption issues.

Read more...



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SALT LAKE CITY -- Kelly Treadway loves to design and she loves kids. It was her passion for both that prompted Kelly to start her own card company, Modern Blitz Designs.

But she doesn't design cards to build a business; Kelly designs cards to build her family.

"I sometimes look at the cards I make and think, ‘I wish that was my life,'" she says.

Will and Kelly Treadway met in October of 2003. They married the following year. Both wanted to start and grow their family, but the fairy tale future they imagined didn't happen.

In addition to baby announcements, Kelly designs adoption cards, which she gives to hopeful parents at half cost. You can check out her designs at modernblitz.blogspot.com and read about her adoption journey at afutureworthlivingfor.blogspot.com.

Read more...



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CINCINNATI -- Some couples unable to get pregnant have turned to an unusual form of adoption. The couples are getting pregnant with another couples' embryo. Jennifer Schanne and her husband endured four miscarriages before turning to in-vitro fertilization.

"We froze our embryos in case something didn't work or we only had one baby. We knew we wanted to have more then one," said Schanne.

After twins Cooper and Clair were born, the couple debated about what to do with the nine embryos that they didn't use. Read more...



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This is in response to "Embryos' fate: A fertile debate; Families struggle with science, faith when viable eggs are frozen in lab" , regarding what to do with "leftover" embryos from in-vitro fertilization treatments.

One option is to donate them to an infertile couple. Please visit www.embryoadoption.org.

Read more...



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To further its commitment to providing affordable options to couples battling infertility, Shady Grove Fertility Center will host a 5K Race for the Family on Sunday, September 27, at 8:30 a.m. in Rockville.

More than 400 runners, walkers and toddler trotters have registered to date, along with 70 volunteers. All monies raised will benefit the Cade Foundation, the only national non-profit organization that provides financial assistance to would-be parents. Through its Family Building Grant program, the Cade Foundation provides infertility couples monetary gifts of up to $10,000 to help pay for infertility treatment or domestic adoption.

At the finish line, Shady Grove Fertility Center will raffle a free in vitro fertilization cycle (IVF) to one race participant or donor. In addition to the 5K race, there will be a fun walk, toddler trot and sidewalk arts festival. Events start and finish at Shady Grove Fertility Center headquarters, 15001 Shady Grove Road, Rockville, Md. 20850, and the course winds through nearby Fallsgrove Village Center. Register to run, walk or donate at www.RaceForTheFamily.com/.

Additional mechanisms Shady Grove Fertility Center has established to make fertility more affordable include financing options such as Shared Risk, which covers up to six IVF treatment cycles and guarantees a 100-percent refund if a baby is not delivered, and Shared Help, which offers financial assistance to income-eligible patients. For more information, visit www.shadygrovefertility.com/affording_treatment.

"Shady Grove Fertility Center is dedicated to developing and offering innovative financing options and assistance to reduce barriers for couples who seek fertility treatments," said Frank Chang, M.D., a Shady Grove Fertility Center board-certified reproductive endocrinologist and Cade Foundation board member. "We are delighted to work in partnership with the Cade Foundation to help more couples in our area and beyond fulfill their dream of starting a family."

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Recent Keyword Searches: conception over age 40, chances of pregnancy at 43, fsh levels 48 year old woman, change of life babies, having a baby in your 40's

Stock photo by duchesssa
One of the questions prospective parents are routinely asked during their adoption home study is whether they have "resolved" their infertility. This issue is raised because it is a widespread paradigm in the professional adoption community that infertile, prospective adoptive parents need to resolve their feelings of loss to fully accept their children.

FertilityAuthority is taking the lead in the world of online fertility communities, adding three new blogs to their already impressive list of bloggers. The newest addition is “Holistic Fertility with Pulling Down the Moon,” a blog in which former fertility patients and Pulling Down the Moon co-founders Beth Heller and Tamara Quinn share a do-it-yourself approach to fertility which includes yoga, acupuncture, nutrition and massage.

Matthew and Jenna are 2 1/2-year-old fraternal twins. They share cute round faces, wide, inquisitive eyes that don't miss a thing and cheekbones a model would die for.

They also share a history that would make them the talk of the playground if anybody their age remotely cared: They were adopted nine months before they were born, in the form of embryos created and frozen six years before that.

But, for Jim and Barbara Seebock, Matthew and Jenna are simply the answer to a prayer, even if the method of conception they chose -- "embryo adoption" -- represents yet another twist on what used to be the straightforward business of conception.

Read more: http://www.lvrj.com/living/46567282.html

In the beginning of December 2006, Kara miscarried.

"It was the worst thing that ever happened to us," Kara said on their Web site hopeisheart.org.

"I wanted to figure out a way to help because my heart just breaks for people who can't have a child," she said.

Sophia Mackintosh is all too aware that she is a walking stereotype. After two miscarriages and a failed IVF attempt, she decided to give up trying for a baby and buy a dog instead. With Lulu happily installed in their newly renovated house in Islington, North London, Mackintosh and her husband, James, launched themselves wholeheartedly into the adoption process. Then, five years after that first traumatic miscarriage, she discovered that she was pregnant.

British Infertility Counselling Association (www.bica.net)
Cradle (www.assistedconception.org/cradle)

Full story: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/health/article5767793.ece

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- Daily blog of hope & inspiration!
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Speaking as an older mother in a very young Jewish community of 20- and 30-something parents, I find myself much outside of the box. It is not exactly by choice that I have a late-in-life child. Some things simply happen, and others are meant to be in a way that is indefinable. Parenting is a tough job with a partner and support system, and 100 times harder flying solo.

I had already raised three children to emancipation and lost my life partner when a situation arose that led me to motherhood yet again. It was an unusual occurrence and like many women in their 40's, I had long stopped actively thinking of babies and caring for them. Or perhaps not, for the year that my husband died I had the opportunity to adopt yet another infant. I did not give it much thought, for the decision had already been made by some unfulfilled mothering instincts that were still inside my heart. I was reaching the end of my 40's when I adopted my son, the age at which my neighbors were already grand-parenting or at least, paying off college tuitions.

Of course, being a divorced mother is far from unusual in the suburbs, but being an adoptive single mother at my age certainly was. From the start, it was all-consuming and very tedious caring for a young infant. I had little time to think about my situation, but simply went with it, relearning all I had forgotten about infants as well as re-buying what I had long, long ago thrown out. Sleepless nights with a sick child are not fun for the best of us, least of all for me. I also had to rethink my position among my contemporaries, finding that many of my so-called friends were not terribly interested in my new baby and his day to day progress. I was knee-deep in dirty diapers, finger foods, "Goodnight Moon," SpongeBob, Legos, and local parks, where I found myself spending a good few hours each day. Admittedly, it bored me to tears, especially when I found that the younger mothers thought I was his grandmother and for the most part ignored my presence. I found my place by starting conversations on child development, preschools, and babysitters with those who deigned to acknowledge me as one of them.

I loved and adored my son beyond all else. He was the center of my universe, and this time there were no other children to compete for my attention. I worked part-time in the first few years and kept money coming in as well as remaining a part of the adult world. Coming home to a young child was lonely, and I often missed the companionship of men and women my age, who disappeared almost as quickly as they appeared in my life, easily tiring of the noise, commotion, and attention I gave mostly to this beautiful child.

As he grew, it did become easier for me. A precocious child, he loved to talk both at home and to other adults, finding himself the center of everyone’s attention. So it often is with "only children." With all of the issues involved and the loss of my own mother, focusing on my son became the way of life I chose.

I had another chance at loving and raising a child and being a "do-it-yourself" grandma for the first time, all at once. Isolation from my contemporaries was an issue, but over the years I have met several other older moms, perhaps in different life situations, to whom I could talk about something other than school and play dates. Fortunately I have made some friends of other adoptive moms, who understand exactly where I come from. We live in our world of work, and then our unique and difficult world of raising a child alone, with just a little less koach than those at the parent-teacher meetings.

I will be an active, 24/7 mother long after others have forgotten what that is like, but so what? I believe that women should have a choice as to when they should have children. Technology is changing and giving women more time in which to bear children. As we tend to live longer than men anyway, it should be our right and privilege to do so.

Adoption is a beautiful way to become a mother, and those older children in foster care, who are no longer "desirable" because of their ages, handicaps, or cultural backgrounds, would do well with a parent who was devoted and loving regardless of his or her chronological age.

My home is no longer as neat and clean as it was pre-last child, nor do I always feel relaxed with contemporaries, as my mind is elsewhere. Others of my age might begin to be forgetful, but I am not permitted to forget. I cannot imagine what disasters would befall us if I did. I am certainly driving more carefully and not taking risks I might have taken before or even now, without a growing child. I am reluctant to have guests in my home, as nothing is new or in place the way I would like it to be, and I am more careful with money because of the expense of childrearing. There are no grandparents as other children might have with whom to celebrate the myriad of Jewish holidays or to give my son gifts, and often it is saddening. When I think of his bar mitzvah coming this year, my heart sinks at the thought that now he has no father or grandfather to stand with him, and no grandmothers to sit with me and kvell. Yet no one’s life is perfect.

I enjoy so much about being a mother to my son and watching his clothes shrink as he grows. I have more time and understanding for him than I did for my other three children, two of whom are now parents as well, but I do repeat mistakes, and often my patience wears dangerously thin. What a fallacy that we are more patient. There are so many things I have learned from my experience and I must often stand by and hold my tongue seeing my now younger friends and neighbors make foolish mistakes because they have "read something in a book."

I probably could write the longest-ever "book of mistakes" myself, but I just do the best I can. I am so full of love for my child, and all that is returned to me as my son grows up and, finally, just maybe, so do I.

Source: http://www.jstandard.com/articles/3941/1/A-somewhat-older-mom-speaks-out


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