Pclem's Frayed Thread

[January Poet]

o.k. so I love the loon poem but I don't get the title (probably just me) can't think straight on day 12. We have those loons here in Maine and it is so true about their call. The haunting sound definitely sticks with you. Much enjoyed this.

[Hydro]

I don't get the title either, sorry!

BUT it's a really lovely image, this loon poem. I wonder about getting rid of 'like' from line one?

[Alexandrite]

Hello, popping to say I love, love "Minneapolis"!! You've got a gift for ferreting out 'a sense of place' in these 'place' poems. wonderful!!

[PClem]

New Leaf, Hydro, Januarypoet and Alex, thanks for stopping by and giving me your thoughts on these. BWCA is Boundary Water Canoe Area and this poem was supposed to be part of a much longer poem and I could not for the life of me get it to behave, so I snipped out the best behaved bit and posted it as a short, which is why the title made no sense. But I really didn't care by the time I posted the damn thing. Sorry for the confusion. I seem to have a slew of half written badly behaved poems this NaPo I'd just like to put through the shredder! I think a glass of wine is an excellent idea, New Leaf! Although Dave Wiseman has an excellent recipe for a drink that goes well with loons! I may have to resort to it very, very soon.

[PClem]

There Are Two Cities I Love and They Anchor the Mississippi River
II. New Orleans

I prefer to view you through the eyes
of an ignorant tourist, through the lens
of my paparazzi camera.

Snapshots of you are prettier through the viewfinder.
Hurricanes are better in a glass at Pat O’Brien’s.
There was a city before Katrina

and here it is after, only a little different.
Pontchartrain is contained again,
God is back, the Saints proved it,

brass jazz bands are on street corners, a Musician’s
Village is in the Upper Ninth Ward, though the Lower’s
still a disaster with X’s, let’s not record that.

I did my time on a roof in Gentilly pounding nails
into shingles, the only sound a damn rooster crowing
three buildings down (think his name was Huey),

the silence and earnestness a temporary aberration.
This is the city of music, food and parties. Pan past
the homeless, the stripped down, the shabby.

[RobynD]

Narcissist made me giggle, all your Payne County poems, too, because they are so damned true. I see you've taken Rachel's adcive on singin' the blues- how brave of you to take the challenge! I'll have to come back for the others later, when it's not past my bedtime.

[Hydro]

Really loved 'New Orleans', a fine draft. Your 'place poems' have impressed me, which is interesting as I hadn't necessarily taken you as a 'place poem' kinda person before NaPo. Carry on doing what you're doing, I'm liking it.

PS. I'd question whether N would know the rooster's name... but that's all.

[cookala]

heya! finally got here! unfortunately, all I can say is that I've enjoyed reading the last 5 or so but not much more. I'm spaced on vicodin right now, got a nasty infection in my left big toe and it's screaming in pain. it's a long story. i'm attempting to write a napo poem about it. wish me luck!

[shadygrove]

Ooh, I came in because I had to read Minneapolis, assuage my homesickness. (Is it a quibble to say the Vulcans are from Saint Paul?)

But really enjoyed this bit from the other end of Old Man River:

There was a city before Katrina

and here it is after, only a little different.
Pontchartrain is contained again,
God is back, the Saints proved it,

brass jazz bands are on street corners, a Musician’s
Village is in the Upper Ninth Ward, though the Lower’s
still a disaster with X’s, let’s not record that.

Nice work; I'll be back....

[PClem]

Hydro - I don't know what kind of poem person I am. Maybe the kind of poem person that writes whatever catches my wandering fancy? Places apparently currently, as my next is a place poem, also. Thanks for your continued support and fluff!

Robyn and Cookala - Thanks for stopping by!

Shadygrove - thanks for stopping by and for the correction. I have been away too long! You are right, of course. I'll have to fix that. Not sure how. Don't want to give up the ice carnival or Vulcans or the Guthrie Theatre. Wonder if I can do Twin Cities or will I have to change it to Three Cities I love, hmmm. Coming from White Bear Lake, I always just kind of lumped the two together, although I know there are some that would fry me in oil for that.

[PClem]

Mounds Park, Minnesota

Two thousand years ago when the stone was rolled
across Christ’s tomb, the ground here was gravid
with burial mounds. Ashes, bones, shells,
projectile points, a clay death mask molded
over a skull. Artifacts. Take the long view
from the top of the bluff. The earth breathes,
split wide open, these mounds gave birth
to restlessness. The Mississippi sweats
and grinds her barges upstream, trains scream
to a stop, load from where the dead once laid
and are off again. The highway is mimicry
between river and sandstone cliffs, both insult
and inevitable. Six mounds still stand, landscaped,
fenced, pristine. In daytime dead as the culture
that left them here. At night the worshippers come -
the high school liars with their three point two beer
and bravado who piss on the Mounds, tell stories
they pretend they don’t believe and leave condoms
they pretend they’ve used. The suicidal drunks
and emo types, there for the same reason -
because it’s the best place if you’re hell bent
on feeling depressed and lonely. The lovers come,
arch over the mounds and consecrate the ground
because they know who they bless
and follow - the Hopewell people.

[Hydro]

Laurie, not much I can say to this one except 'Wow'... I was gripped the whole way through, the connections you make, your images, your linebreaks (which are stellar in this poem)... A favourite of this thread, for me. By far. I can't wait to see where you take it.

And to end, this...

The lovers come,
arch over the mounds and consecrate the ground
because they know who they bless
and follow - the Hopewell people.

I know. It's fluff. But this struck a chord, truthfully.

[Scavella]

Laurie, I'm really fond of both "There are Two Cities that I Love", and "Mounds Park, Minnesota". Looking forward to more.

[Dunc]

Laurie

I'm enjoying your narratives.

But I tell ya, this love affair of yours with Payne County has got to stop, or people will notice.

Regards / Dunc



One more post and we're half way!

[Dave Wiseman]

Laurie,

I just read New Orleans and Mounds Park. As much as I love NOLA, and the poem you wrote, Mounds Park is just incredible. You have corssed times and cultures, hig the highs and lows (good job on the lows). It is a dense piece and packs a huge ammont of content and imagery in a pretty compact space. I am torn on whether it is best in its current "big Block of text" form, or if stanza breaks would strengthen it. There is something to be said for the density.

Good work.