Twenty Thirteen Sevens

[Dunc]

lostin - Glad you liked Casual Vacancy. The metre is loose, determined by the eleven-syllable lines and the ear. The notion's familiar in the poetry of Romance languages (French, Spanish, Catalan, Italian), where sonnets and indeed Dante's Divine Comedy are written in quasi-iambic eleven-syllable lines. Their rhythms aren't as stressed as English, so the effect is different, but one I enjoy playing with.

Matt - If you like non-crime novels, you could always try reading the book (Rowling's first non-Potter work). Thanks for your feedback.

proof - Well the rhyme is klustez / justes (z/s) but I find close enough is usually near enough when I'm rhyming.

Kind of y'all to drop by!

Regards / Dunc

[Dunc]

10 August 2013



NEVER IN CARTHAGE

I was never in Carthage but I
know the Barcas gave Rome egregious
grief and mad old Cato used to tie
Destroy the dump! to all his speeches.

Never in Carthage but I can tell
you that they liked to fight away from
home so the city had no local
walls or defences. (Good thing for Rome.)

Carthage, but I can imagine the
infants burnt to God as sacred fault
insurance and the jackboot pea-
brain ordering the plains sown with salt.

But the quiz in the afromosia
’s why Carthage Tours sent me their brochure.

  

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hi Dunc,

Thanks for the book tip - I hadn't realised she'd written something new. I figured she'd just retired with all the millions she made from Harry Potter ...

So, another sonnet. I like the references to Carthage and the idea that you're doing a quiz on Carthage (but maybe I've read it wrong). I kind of had the idea that the quiz was in the brochure sent by Carthage tours, but re-reading I see that's not quite what you've written. I'm a bit lost with the afromosia reference - african teak? But why would there be a quiz in it? And why would that cause Carthage tours to send you a brochure?

-Matt

[Dunc]

Matt

I recently found a dodger from Carthage Tours in my letterbox and it struck me as rather a long shot on their part, hence the poem. By 'quiz' I just mean 'question' (an internal rhyme with 'is' that I rather liked didn't survive) and Carthage and afromosia both being North African I used one for the other - and rhymes with 'brochure' (bro-sha in Oz) are where you find them.

Thanks for dropping by.

Regards / Dunc

[Dunc]

This one needs more time, I'm afraid, but the clock is against me this weekend.



11 August 2013



BLADE RUNNER

A decent person able to stop the destruction
can’t just sit on his hands and allow it to happen,
can’t simply look on while they bring the earth to ruin.
I emphasise that we never sought to be policemen.

Once it was clear that we had to make a decision
they were easy to pacify, disarm and contain;
nor with the prisons holding billion upon billion
was it hard to shape and execute the Further Plan.

We pride ourselves on being honourable and humane
and we respect them as the parents of our nation;
because they told us all they knew, we can reckon
and because they gave us their own gifts, we can reason.

And finally they gave us purpose, and we can run;
now we repay life with life, ten thousand to a pen.

  

[Dunc]

12 August 2013



THE ESSENCE OF THE THING

She didn’t choose her parents well
and small joy was in her history,
so leaving friends and lovers all
she married to self-misery.

Vulnerability was her art
manipulation her living,
everything to protect the heart,
large taking and little giving.

Shortlisted for the Booker Prize
said as though it were her surname
and justified that shadow-life
and drained away those lakes of blame.

Sydney starts it but London ends.
At one time we were almost friends.

  

[Lorraine Pester]

Re: Essence

Dunc,
I require poems with a straightforward message this week; these seizures play hell with my ability to focus and enjoy. I really like this one; best of yours this week, so far.

Lorraine

[Hare]

I'm a serious fan of impressive line breaks (not line dancing, can't bear that) and this one's fabulous..

But the quiz in the afromosia
’s why Carthage Tours sent me their brochure.

Brochures are a mine of information. I get them sent by people who imagine I require something sedate at this stage. I'll have to see if they do Carthage.
Loads of potential in Blade Runner...but, being fairly bleak myself, I have to appreciate the unrequited sigh of Essence.

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hey Dunc,

So, I'm starting to get the hang of this. The Essence of Things is a book - o.k. so shortlisted for the Booker was a big clue - but one I'd not heard of let alone read (I read very few novels these days), so I don't I get all the references , but I did check out a few reviews which helped a bit. I thought "Shortlisted for the Booker Prize / said as though it were her surname" was funny - it was very much the case when I looked the book up online. Madelaine St John is from Sydney, but the book is based in London, which may explain the penultimate line. I can only guess at some of the other meanings from my rapidly acquired and very limited knowledge of the book.

I liked Blade Runner - and I've seen the film which must surely put me at some advantage! I wondered if the the poem was being told from an alternative perspective in which the androids had won and locked up all the humans. The third quatrain in particular gives me that impression with lines like "because they told us all they knew, we can reckon / and because they gave us their own gifts, we can reason."

Best,

Matt

[Dunc]

Lorraine - delighted you liked it!

Hare - Honourable mention for my line-break! Thank you, thank you! May your Cathage brochure prove more useful than mine!

Matt - Yes, your detective work is spot on. I've just finished reading Helen Trinca's Madeleine, and the amount of it in perfect accord with my memory is uncanny.

Likewise with Blade Runner - I'll revisit it at some stage and try to put some edginess into the gentle tone. The replicants have intervened for the best and most thoughtful of reasons but since humans are the problem, the solution won't be good for humans.

Thanks for calling - always appreciated.

Regards / Dunc

[Dunc]

This week I've been writing syllabic verse, and my seven poems have had each had 14 lines, and those lines 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12 and 13 syllables accordingly, though not in that order. Today's finale is the Alexandrine - 12 to a line (6 | 6) - so beloved by the French, though they alternate masc and fem endings and I don't.

I expect I'll get a bloody nose, going head to head with Alf Tennyson on this one.



13 August 2013




ULYSSES
Dante, The Inferno, Bk 26.

This is Deceivers’ Hell, where I am sent perforce
and prisoned for all time inside this candle flame
because I lured Troy to take the wooden horse.

You ask me how I died. To Ithaca I came,
embraced Penelope, with blood washed out my hall,
and set my kingdom right, but soon I felt the same

impatience for the sea and wanderlust for all
the undiscovered lands and all the realms unseen;
I furnished my old ship; my old crew came at call.

‘Brothers, let us make sail now the night wind is keen,
out through the pillared straits, beyond the stars and sun;
again we’ll speak with gods, find shores where no man’s been.’

There with a single heart, onwards and always on,
we ventured, toiled and sought until Death’s will was done.

  

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hi Dunc,

Well, it's been an educational week. I went and read the relevant canto. Ulysses went to hell? That hardly seems fair! But I guess he was never baptised, so what can you expect. "[P]risoned for all time inside this candle flame" is a pretty torturous existence, at least he had Diomede to talk to, I guess. Your Alexandrine is cleverly done, there's a slightly antiquated feel to the language which seems very appropriate.

By the way, regarding Blade Runner I was briefly put in mind of Flight of the Conchords' The Humans are Dead song, I don't know if you know it? If not check it out (it's only a loose connection, but it's a funny song).

Thanks for explaining what you were doing with you sonnet structure, it had had me a little confused.

So, an interesting and educational week - an impressive selection.

All the best,

Matt