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Thread: Kibbles and Bits

  1. #46
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Sequim, WA
    Posts
    305
    omg! very well done, very effective, wistful but not sentimental. I do wonder how much bigger the past (tree) was, if it is now a 7-foot (tree) and if the metaphor quite corresponds with the dimensions. But I know nothing of Christmas trees.

    best, risa
    Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Does it improve on the silence? - Shirdi Sai Baba

  2. #47
    JFN is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    England
    Posts
    3,859
    Laurie, Teaching my Daughter... appears to be a sweet piece about clinging to loved ones when they need to fly the nest. You hold back from placing your arm across your daughter's shoulder, as she knits to protect her (nearly adult?) son from the cold. A nice parallel and well executed.

    The attention to detail in The Shrinking... is very good. I was puzzled about how him (as mentioned at the beginning) getting a younger wife resulted in you getting a smaller tree, so I am assuming this is the second husband leaving. It's well juxtaposed against the Christmas theme.

    John
    Poetry is everywhere; it just needs editing.
    James Tate

    johnnewson.com

  3. #48
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    New York, NY
    Posts
    7,044
    Ha, the Christmas gift competition, given a new twist. Who got the bigger and better gifts? Triumphs and regrets.

  4. #49
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    North Eastern U.S.
    Posts
    1,798
    Hey, Laurie- the details in both of these is well chosen, and the emotion is there but not- you are so good at that. However, there is a puzzled expression on my face as I type this- I'm wondering, with both, what the end has to do with the beginning.

    I'll come back soon!
    Imagination is a virtually divine faculty that apprehends immediately, by means lying outside philosophical methods, the intimate and secret relations of things, the correspondences and analogies.

    Charles Baudelaire

  5. #50
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Midwestern U.S.
    Posts
    4,213
    Thank you all and I am a day behind...there should be more to this one, as to the preceding...hi ho,...one more to write today, how do I get through April every year?

    Learned While Sleeping

    Don't fish in alligator infested waters,
    barefoot. Never bed down with a fig tree,
    the spiders escape.
    It is possible to drive from the backseat, but
    there are no brakes.
    We are all fleas
    on the hide of an elephant overwintering
    in a one-car garage. His name is Huey.
    All dogs are nude. The fur that seems
    to cover, disguises windows
    to our souls.

  6. #51
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Scotland and Canada
    Posts
    2,516
    Laurie:

    We are all fleas
    on the hide of an elephant over wintering
    in a one-car garage. His name is Huey.
    This might become my new philosophy of life. I enjoyed all the aphorisms, and snippets of advice. When we sleep. Indeed. I often drive in my sleep -- with no brakes. I liked your analysis of marriage, the credit and debit account, the tallying up.
    Bees

  7. #52
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    4,371
    Learned While Sleeping: My waters are always shark infested, my spiders are snakes, my brakes are the treacle I run in, the elephant is the ferris wheel I hang from in the dark at the top of the ride and dogs aren't as nude as I am when sitting the exam or in the office

    You managed to get in the word souls without me wanting to cringe! Gotta be good….
    Resigned

  8. #53
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    8,445
    Hi PClem

    The Shrinking of Tree: I liked the way the settlement is described, the upgrading of partners, the he got, she got. I can't quite parse the long third sentence. Are all the things in the list hung on the tree? Or are they all things she got in the settlement. Rereading, I reckon it's the latter (in which case maybe change that full stop in L3). I'm not sure what the significance of the final line is. Is to show that the new husband is less showy, less about appearances?

    I loved Learned While Sleeping, the almost nonsensical wisdom imparted here also seems to have echoes of the profound. It made me smile.

    -Matt

  9. #54
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Location
    North Eastern U.S.
    Posts
    1,798
    Learned While Sleeping- hehe. Good stuff. I am a mathematician in my dreams, or an artist.
    Imagination is a virtually divine faculty that apprehends immediately, by means lying outside philosophical methods, the intimate and secret relations of things, the correspondences and analogies.

    Charles Baudelaire

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