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Thread: The Poetry of Science (The Science of Poetry)

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BrianIsSmilingAtYou The Poetry of Science (The... 04-01-2014, 08:21 AM
BrianIsSmilingAtYou Crushing on Science Geeks ... 04-01-2014, 08:25 AM
JustMiko BAM!!! I like "Liquid... 04-01-2014, 08:40 AM
Featherless Biped It's true; physicists are the... 04-01-2014, 09:02 AM
5th column I see long poems during NaPo... 04-01-2014, 09:09 AM
MEHope If we could only get the... 04-01-2014, 07:40 PM
Claire Since you didn't include a... 04-01-2014, 07:46 PM
senia It’s always circles—always... 04-02-2014, 03:42 PM
truenigma Brilliant. The ending was... 04-02-2014, 10:48 PM
Afrodita What detail and what a... 04-09-2014, 08:02 AM
Janet I'm envious- so much to like... 04-09-2014, 11:17 AM
Sorella Brian, hi again! Started... 04-09-2014, 11:40 AM
BrianIsSmilingAtYou Thanks, Afrodita. Working in... 04-10-2014, 06:00 AM
BrianIsSmilingAtYou Blue eyes are… Blue eyes... 04-10-2014, 06:07 AM
Donner Hi, :), Oh, yay, finally,... 04-10-2014, 06:55 AM
MEHope Oh, you sweet talker!... 04-12-2014, 07:06 AM
Emily Bronte This: Will make any... 04-20-2014, 01:54 PM
JFN Brian, got here at last. ... 04-23-2014, 09:39 PM
  1. #1
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  2. #2
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    Crushing on Science Geeks

    The air lies heavy in the room
    as the science fair Physics lecturer
    attaches a vacuum hose
    to the top of an empty oil barrel
    and flips a switch.

    “We’ll get back to that later—“
    He grabs a garbage can
    with a round hole in the bottom,
    and fills it with smoke.
    He points the bottom

    toward the most distant
    members of the audience,
    and tap-tap-taps the top—
    sending smoke rings
    through the dense and heavy air.

         The vacuum motor hums.

    My nieces and nephew try
    to catch the smoke rings,
    but the crowd of people crushes
    in on them. The rings spread
    and disperse, ghosts of science.

         The vacuum motor hums.

    “What if the hole were square?”
    he asks, “What shape would the smoke make?”
    “Square!” yells the crowd. “Square!” yells my niece.
    He grabs another can—a square hole showing
    clearly at the bottom, and

    tap-tap-taps again—circles from a square.
    “It’s always circles—always rings.
    The smoke assumes the path of least resistance.
    The pressure pushes evenly—
    a square would not be stable.”

         The vacuum motor hums.

    “Liquid nitrogen is cool,” he quips,
    and the audience titters.
    He puts on his gloves,
    and grabs a bucket, eerie fog
    emanating from deep within.

    “Let’s see what this can do—“
    Cruuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnchhhhhhhhh! resounds across the room!
    The audience roars!
    He puts down the bucket, walks over—
    “I said that we'd get back to this,
    they always forget the barrel—"

         The vacuum motor hums.

    Fifteen pounds per square inch
    collapses metal like paper.
    The oil drum puckers inward.
    "You know what else is cool—
    the pressure of the air

    that crushed this sturdy barrel
    weighs on every one of you.”

         He shuts the vacuum motor off.

    My niece lies under her blanket that night,
    trying not to breathe.

    -----------------------

    BrianIs AtYou
    Last edited by BrianIsSmilingAtYou; 04-02-2014 at 07:08 PM. Reason: punctuation
    I think I think, therefore I might be.

  3. #3
    JustMiko is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    BAM!!! I like "Liquid nitrogen is cool" and then I read on and you have a killer ending here.

  4. #4
    Featherless Biped is offline Ray to rhyme with bay; not Rae to rhyme with bae
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    It's true; physicists are the sexiest and most exciting of science geeks. (Well... ecologists are pretty awesome too.) I love that he gets the crowd to guess square smoke rings, and then proves them wrong.

    Do you know The Story Collider? It seems up your alley.

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    I see long poems during NaPo and I immediately think how many other threads there are to fluff but this was worth the effort. I always think that the letter U loses all integrity when repeated and unlike any other letter I can think of, just turns into a pot with the lid missing
    Last edited by 5th column; 04-01-2014 at 11:51 AM.
    Resigned

  6. #6
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    Great images from the science fair, Brian.

    So, do you know how I do this?




    Have a joyously geeky NaPo.

  7. #7
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    If we could only get the tricks and proof to really feed thoughts. Hello Brian how are you? Have a great NaPo!

  8. #8
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    Since you didn't include a 'don't try this at home' clause....You'll know why, if I'm missing on day 2!
    Fun read

  9. #9
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    It’s always circles—always rings.

    Reminds me of it's always turtles

    Great to see you here, Brian.
    Moderator


    Because, if the poet isn’t careful, meaning has a way of too insistently shouldering its way in, so that we readers then have the meaning but miss the experience.
    Christopher Ricks, Introduction to Austin Clarke’s Collected Poems

  10. #10
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    Wow, what a great poem filled with so many vivid images. I loved the ending. Can't wait to read more

  11. #11
    truenigma is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Brilliant. The ending was most unexpected. "Ghosts of science" is still resonant, there at the end.

  12. #12
    Afrodita is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    What detail and what a beautifully developed narration in a poem. I like the sounds "switch" -> "grabage" and throughout!

    Ending's of course extremely good (though "that night" could be shuffled somehow to allow immediacy but also just because it stops the trip of the tongue.

    I also really appreciate the science put in a poem

  13. #13
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    I'm envious- so much to like in Not Much. Nicely crafted and amazing how you fit so many relatives while at the same time keeping it tight. I can easily visualize this exchange. I especially enjoyed:

    Had Isaac died young, like his Dad, or never married Lottie,
    none of us would be here. Or we might be someone else.
    I'd miss you, if you weren't you, or if I couldn't be Uncle Brian.

  14. #14
    Sorella is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Brian, hi again!
    Started with your first, both interesting, well done, and with a clever parallel in the reader forgetting the first line, and the audience forgetting about the barrel till it collapses. I had a cruuuuuush on my physics teacher, and so he got me study things I had no natural talent for, just as you got me to read your poem by being such a charmer with your Hokusai poems the other year!

    Sorella

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Afrodita View Post
    What detail and what a beautifully developed narration in a poem. I like the sounds "switch" -> "grabage" and throughout!

    Ending's of course extremely good (though "that night" could be shuffled somehow to allow immediacy but also just because it stops the trip of the tongue.

    I also really appreciate the science put in a poem
    Thanks, Afrodita. Working in the detail was a crucial element for a number of these poems. Learning what detail can be cut may be an important step.

    Quote Originally Posted by Janet View Post
    I'm envious- so much to like in Not Much. Nicely crafted and amazing how you fit so many relatives while at the same time keeping it tight. I can easily visualize this exchange. I especially enjoyed:

    Had Isaac died young, like his Dad, or never married Lottie,
    none of us would be here. Or we might be someone else.
    I'd miss you, if you weren't you, or if I couldn't be Uncle Brian.
    Thanks, Janet. I'm glad you liked that part best. It was actually the last part of the poem to achieve final form. In earlier drafts, it did not seem quite right, and the attention to names and identity seemed to be a key element here, so I decided to bring it to the fore.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorella View Post
    Brian, hi again!
    Started with your first, both interesting, well done, and with a clever parallel in the reader forgetting the first line, and the audience forgetting about the barrel till it collapses. I had a cruuuuuush on my physics teacher, and so he got me study things I had no natural talent for, just as you got me to read your poem by being such a charmer with your Hokusai poems the other year!

    Sorella
    Thanks, Sorella. The science lecture that it was based on was fun. I have considered putting up the video for it, as I did with some of the others, but I need to get that part cut out of a longer video segment first.

    I'm glad you remember the Hokusai poems. I'm hoping, with a bit more polishing to get that published as a manuscript someday. (The final version contains several more poems that never made it to NaPo or sevens, or anywhere but a few open mics.)

    BrianIs AtYou
    I think I think, therefore I might be.

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