Donner's "How do you run away from the things in your head?" Thread

[casket N orbit]

I liked the low techs, "to stop the screenflipping" the alliteration adds dimension to the already cool word! Nice. "Etiquette for Mowing" brings back memories of sit-down-mowers. The touching humor kept me

[Donner]

Hey cookie and casket, thanks! (Sounds like a good title for something, "Cookie and Casket", HA!) (Sorry, I got up too early.)

cookie - Same here. Some days a jacket and scarf are still necessary for a walk along the Spit.

casket - Glad you found the humor, some who know me don't.

Donner

[Donner]

Instructions

Don't bury me in a plot
nearest the highway

where the passing cars
will disturb my rest.

And don't put my ashes
in an urn on the mantel,

it might tip off, making me a mess
all over the floor

that could clog the vacuum.
You know how tidy I like things.

In fact, bypass the cemetery altogether.
I'd prefer an abandoned orchard

or a glade somewhere under a dogwood
or in a grove of wild rhododendron

and cow parsnips where I can feel them bloom
from the roots up.


* * * * *


Bonus Dandelion/Mowing Poem -

I mow over
a puffpatch
of dandelions
and thousands
of fairies
fly away.

[romac1]

OK, I read through a few of these. The sevenling is strong: perfect pace, timing and turn. It's an ideal form for this material. And I also enjoyed the Holy Week ham and bean soup poem, although I wondered if you needed much (or any) of S1. Could end up as a sevenling too!

[Donner]

Thanks, Rob, for stopping by. I've always trusted your eye.

* * * * *

Every Small Town Café Has One
For Dad, Jim and the Pioneer Bakery

It's 11 and you can still get breakfast
at the Sunshine Café. Frieda says she was worried
about him, you haven't been in for a few days,
as the man in coveralls takes his place at the counter.
Just out of the oven, chocolate chip peanut butter,
here, dear, it's on the house, hands him the cookie
with one hand and pours his cup of coffee with the other.
She doesn't have to ask his preference, he takes both

cream and sugar, just like Anna at the bakery
centertown knew theirs. She'd check with the regulars
if Dad and Jim hadn't wandered in by 10
for their Friday morning butterhorn and bear claw.
She always made sure she saved that small table nearest the kitchen
with enough walk-around room for Dad's oxygen tank;
they knew as soon as the front door bell announced their arrival
she'd start warming their pastries
in the toaster oven with a pat of butter
and have their coffee waiting - strongest she could brew

for Jim, Dad's with cream enough to make it caramel-tan.
Frieda has already placed the man's order when she spots him
through the café window, sets the tabasco down
two seats from the register. She's glad to see him.
Ham and sunny sides, right? It will be up soon. Here,
have another cookie, it's on me.

[Andrea345]

love the last two lines of "Instructions" and I was headed for a dandelion poem myself this morning...

[Steven]

Hi Donner,

I was thinking yesterday how strange it was that you weren't with a NAPO thread this year, then I saw your thread today. Can't believe I missed it!

Well, I've really enjoyed what I've read so far, but I have to give special props to 'The Practicality of Ceremony'. I love the matter-of-fact narration that is stripped of all the hokey rubbish often contained in poetry, that allows me to feel the spare emotion at the end. Also, I don't know why, but Portland as a name always carries this strange sense of absence. It's quite a barren sounding name, which I guess fits in with the yawning sense of years passing in the poem.

'On Making Ham and Bean Soup' - a short-ish poem with two large stanzas, I love the way the stanza break genuinely means a change of tone and voice. The first stanza is all color and activity with some nice (though understated) sonics getting across the movement and community feel of the church service. Then the second stanza is much more reflective and open until the pay off of the final line.

'Englightenment' -- I'm not sure if it was what you wanted but I was slightly confused whether you were talking about the daughter or dog during the poem, but I think that was the idea. In any case, it was a neat summation of parent-child dynamics and distances.

Thanks very much for posting these, will be back.

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

Instructions makes me think of what I would tell about my own instructions, and yours are pretty good. The poem runs through many of the alternatives, and the conclusion is satisfying.

Bonus Dandelion/Mowing Poem -

I mow over
a puffpatch
of dandelions
and thousands
of fairies
fly away.


Lovely little piece. A perfect picture. Makes me think of "Dandelion Wine" by Ray Bradbury, one of my favorite books.

Every Small Town Café Has One
For Dad, Jim and the Pioneer Bakery

Great setting of the scene, nice character development in a short piece. What's interesting is that the story is told from Frieda's and Anna's point of view, and you learn about their characters, but also about Jim and Dad. Their regularity, their preferences, their delights. Strong imagery.

It reminds me of a place in NJ, Mimi's, where I used to take my Dad. The schedule was not quite so regular, but we would usually get the same table, where there was room for Dad's wheelchair.

BrianIs AtYou

[Arlene]

hey Donner -- love some of these, especially all concerning dandelions...double love to bonus dandelion mowing poem...and the sevenling is lovely...my other favorite is Strike on Struck -- the low-techs...funny, and you capture that frustrating experience perfectly.

[Jee Leong]

Hey Donner, you make me want to be buried under cow parsnips too. Blooming from the roots up. Lovely. Can't help thinking that Instructions & Bonus makes a fine title for a poem. Frieda from the small town cafe sounds like an absolute sweetheart.

[Donner]

Andrea - Thanks. I think I have at least 2-3 more dandelion poems in me this month.

Steven - I was hiding on Page 3. Heh. Thank you for you kind comments. You're not the first to mention being confused when I switch between characters. It's always clear to me, but that gives me something to work on.

Brian - One of the things I love about writing poetry is seeing how few words I can use to convey something. It would seem 13 are enough in the case of my bonus poem. Every town should have one of those been there forever cafés. There's nothing quite like them.

Arlene - Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed.

Jee - Last time I was in the Sunshine, "Frieda" told us that we could still order breakfast. When one of the group who'd been looking over the menu asked if they were still serving breakfast, "Frieda" looked at her askance and said, "Someone vasn't listening." She's nothing if not direct. Heh.

Here's what cow parsnips look like, in case anyone's curious:



Donner

[Donner]

Two Cats

I wonder when I get home from work about my tablet, left open on the table. I don't remember using it while drinking my morning tea. Ginger is sulking, doesn't chirp or do her welcome home leg rub, sits across the room with her back to me and I wonder - she's seemed more self-absorbed than usual since I showed her the photo my friend texted last night of her Too Cat. She minced around the living room after sniffing the screen. I told her to forget it, that her impossible paramour lived 2,300 miles away in Indiana. And now she refuses her favorite treat and an invitation to my warm lap. It wouldn't work, my pet, Too Cat is too much the too typical male, I'm told, complains when he's hungry and looks very smug when he breaks wind. (Not that you could tell the difference with a cat.) And you, you typical female, chitter constantly to me, at the birds, spat with your catmate. He'd never get a purr in edgewise. Besides, you've been spayed. And THERE's my phone, how'd it end up between the cushions? I've been looking for it all day. I check for missed messages. And check out the still-warm tablet. I don't remember installing Skype.



------(Melanie's Too Cat)---------------(My Ginger)



Excerpt from How Smart Is Your Cat? If cats are so smart, why don't we use them as police cats,
military cats and seeing-eye cats? Maybe because they are too smart to be enslaved by humans.
As Huffington Post (link is external) puts it, "dogs come when they're called; cats take a message
and get back to you." Dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years to excel at social tasks,
whereas cats have not. There is a reason for that: Cats are more impulsive than dogs and have far
less patience. They don't easily tolerate frustrating situations (link is external) for long periods of time.
If an activity isn't obviously rewarding to them, they would rather do something else. Dogs will do
almost anything for a treat or a smile on their owner's face. Dogs clearly have a higher social IQ
than cats but cats can solve harder cognitive problems, if indeed they feel like it.

[Dunc]

Donna

Mowing is the exact voice for setting out the rules, nice and clear and warmly funny.

Adopt a Cat and please tell me no one would volunteer for a fourth cat! And I dare say it'd take a fair few tetras to top your ferret up.

Alas for the failure of your Subterfuge - but it was only Mark I. Lots of time to get it right.

Vacation Prep is one of those grim, anxious titles that reminds me of getting crushed between the hard edges of work and play. And then the poolside - WAITER! Another margarita and let me have a gold umbrella this time!

Sevenling - great poem, terrific photo.

Instructions - deep thought here. It hadn't occurred to me that I could come back as a cow parsnip. Wunderbar!

(No marks for your hit-and-run on a herd of fairies though. That's mean!)

Every Small Town - everything you touch glows with warmth.

I allus love reading your thread.

Regards / Dunc

[JFN]

Donna, On Making Ham and Bean Soup is nicely done. The ending that comes after all the judging is delightfully well worked.

On this day is a great collection of mini-histories, and the ending had me smiling. The way it all runs one story into the next keeps the reader's interest.

Nice simple image in your AS, but given a lift by the seasonal metaphor. Coloured could be reduced to yellow potentially, if it made any odds.

I'm not sure which Low Tech I prefer. You have managed to produce two very different poems from one small inspiration. I think the second is perhaps more personable, and the ending is perfect.

Weed instead. They don't make noise / when pulled. At least not that I have heard.. Loved this line, and the whole concept of polite gardening.

Subterfuge - been there, done that. Whatever you do with the chocolate, you always know it's there.

I really enjoyed Instructions. It's a sentiment I share, having said I want a cardboard coffin in a little field with an oak tree planned at my head. Not sure it will happen though. The idea of clogging the vacuum also appeals to me though.

Two Cats is good fun too. You might have noted from my kitty ditty that I'm not overly enamoured with cats, but I do love their smug independence.

You're having a good month.

John

[Donner]

Dunc and John - I appreciate the detailed notes you took the time to write when there's so much fluffing to do all around.

Dunc - "Hit-and-run on a herd of fairies," HA! You should write a crime drama poem using that. And I debated between margaritas and a little umbrella drink. Maybe I'll have both next week. Glad you enjoy my thread and that you take the time to show up via your own thread and comments. It wouldn't be NaPo without you.

John - Inspiration comes from funny places sometimes. I had driven past a local cemetery the other day that butts right up against the highway, which gave me the initial idea for Instructions. Later, I noticed some abandoned fruit trees blooming in a patch of other trees that I drive past every day on my way to work or town. (The reason I knew they were fruit trees was because they are blooming right now. The rest of the year they blend in with all the other trees and shrubs in the lot.) I thought, How much lovelier to be buried under a blooming apple tree than a cold stone marker. And there you have it.

Donner