Hey Jen,
Luis Drives around the Block Is nicely weird. I have Luis as a boy racer trying to impress. I'm not sure if Monica is a fruity tree he crashes into, or a fruity woman in the car with him. I was pretty sure of the latter until she spread her branches. I kind of like the idea of the former!
Carbon Remains I'm always impressed by a sonnet dashed off during NaPo. She burns his books/letters, keeps one letter. She's angry because she finds love letters to another and never got any herself and they had a long loveless life together? I imagine him already dead for some reason.
Blame it on the Q&A: Learning on My Feet at Workshop I like the self-mocking and the playing around with classic poetry errors, but don't go so far as to actually beat yourself up! Having fun is definitely the way for forward if you find yourself with nothing serious to say. I like the way you used a cliché to set up your line about clichés and I read it thinking: Hmmm that's a cliché! then I got to the next line realised you'd intended it and had to let you off
Folding In is definitely my favourite of this bunch. Love "broken clock hands" and "plants time in fallow fields". Love the origami imagery at the end, and the symbolism of them being made from the "brittle paper of years ticking by" and being "stuffed" into the hole she's dug. Enjoyed.
Keep 'em coming
- Matt
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