Laurie's Junk Drawer

[PClem]

Sorella, Cookie, W.G., Janet, Rachel - Thank you all. So many detailed and helpful comments! Speaking of Holstein, he is here for a Grammie visit this weekend and I have a very jealous Sheltie competing for my attention while the female of the canine household simply cannot be bothered with all the nonsense.

The Border Collie's Lament: An Anti-Cat Poem


The fat cat gets its ass stuck
in a too small box or paper tube.
Two million likes on Facebook.


As a pup, I tangled
in some weave poles.
They called it a training mistake.
We never talk about this.


I herd sheep, chickens and even errant men,
intended for home but distracted
by a barstool and a few beers.
All this I do to variations on a whistle.


That's nice, people say, but that cat
with an unvaryingly stupid expression,
falls off a barstool. And this plays
again and again on YouTube.


I know five hundred commands, can discern
the difference between red and orange
balls, can fetch a ham and cheese sandwich
for my owner from the fridge, while that


damn cat can't even open the back door
for itself, can't even decide if it wants in
or out, in or out, in or out and people
think that's, what's the word? Adorable?

[Carla Ruth]

Hey Laurie,

This was lots of fun - the tone and diction are wonderful (especially since I'm mentally comparing it to LOLcat speak).

[PClem]

Glad you like it, Carla. Those stupid cats get all the attention! Time to give dogs their due.

Probably, no definitely, way too soon to write this next one, too close to the bone, but that bone's only going to get gnawed on and broken, so don't know when would be a better time, so why not NaPo?

Stillwater, Oklahoma: Gas and Oil Industry's Targeted City of Concern


The OIPA* lawyer stands at the podium.
He wears a very nice suit jacket but the seam
is ruptured. He is unaware of this.
These oil guys never look
behind. They are always looking down,
which explains their expensive shoes,
Italian leather. His are a subtle shade
of orange to signal allegiance
to Oklahoma State, a place
he's never seen but owns, in part,
so there you go. This guy accuses
us of bringing in outside agitators.
We think he must mean the graduate students
because he doesn't like their numbers
which dispute his, such as
the decibel levels of a fracking rig
three hundred feet from a bedroom window
are comparable to conversational speech
at the same distance. Who can dispute
what lobbyists have paid our legislature
to assert and codify into law? I will speak
soon about geese and ganders. Specifically,
the wind farm goose in Committee,
soon to face a 9,000 foot setback for similar decibel
levels. I will ask if what is good for the goose
and so on. I will be told we aren't talking
about the comparative goose,
we are talking about poultry, cooked.
There are no ganders, here, move along.


*Oklahoma Independent Petroleum Association

[JFN]

Laurie, Metaphor is brilliantly worked. Out-metaphoring the metaphorer. I didn't know the story, but having read the link Matt posted I never cease to be amazed by people.

Interpretation... is interesting. Two dreams of abandonment followed by one of dying (potentially) together. The images throughout are vivid, yet oddly detached (heightened by the stanza breaks), just like a dream.

My Daughter's Fridge... had me smiling. Loved day 175 and the planes of higher existence.

Mother to Vegetarian Daughter had me smiling even more. The closing argument is fantastic. Does she wear leather shoes? Self-righteous vegetarians wearing leather have always amused me.

The Girl and the Dog Named Holstein is lovely. What a great and complex relationship, and really well told. My favourite of yours so far I think.

Love the jealous doggie poem. Very nice.

Enjoyed these immensely.

John

[PClem]

Thank you so much for reading, John, and all of it!? That takes endurance at this point in NaPo.

The Birds Don't Care

Martha never knew she was the last.
Not one single passenger pigeon looks back
and mourns its loss. Neither whooping crane
nor California condor counts
their numbers and asks is this
enough? The brilliance of the painted
bunting's song will not falter for lack
of rival or partner. It will not come to miss
its own song or listen
for what is no longer. The houses
we built for bluebirds can be filled
as easily by house sparrows, perhaps
better.The birds don't care.

[bop]

Laurie,

I nearly didn't reply at all when I saw an exact replica of my junk drawer! Then I realised that I only have one set of shoe laces in my drawer, so I thought I'd say hello.

I was drawn to 'Mother to Vegetarian Daughter' because of the subject matter. My partner is a vegetarian and I know meat-eating hard nuts at work who won't eat venison or rabbit because of the association of deer with Bambi and the rabbits with Watership Down - I'll stop rambling - I like the way Mother in this piece turns the tables on her daughter by showing the slaughter of the butterflies and their habitat.

Mother to Vegetarian Daughter

Virtue exudes from that soy-chik
pattie on her plate. She'll send us pics
of orange Silkie chickens,
mincing feather pillows minus the casing
plus a beak, a guilt trip meant,
though it rings of the Disneyesque.
and doesn't keep
the rest of the family from hot wings,
little nuggets dipped in Ranch,
a whole bird turned on the spit,
crackling fat, dripping juice.
I wait till the fork touches her lips
to ask did she know 10,000 baby
Monarchs were killed
to form a field of uniform green in order
to create just one piece
(yes, perhaps I exaggerate)
of her fake meat?

I thought that it wasn't her daughter being a vegetarian that seems to get to the mother but rather her daughter's holier than thou attitude. I can imagine the mother's barely supressed smile as she waits to pounce on her daughter's smug superiority. I think you show the issues and the responses well. Lines 9-11 have made me a bit peckish!

P.S. No animals, plants or butterflies were harmed during the making of this reply.

Best wishes,
bop

[HowardM2]

Some really good work here. "Metaphor" is very well done and delightful. "Mother to Vegetarian Daughter" is nicely ironic. "Stillwater, Ok." and "The Birds don't Care" are both particularly effective, I think. I'll try to get back for more later in the month.

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

I really enjoyed "The Border Collie's Lament". Great voice. Imagery that suits the subject.

BrianIs AtYou

PS

I'd hoped to comment on more. I came in here like 2 or 3 hours ago, and then I was called into service to help my Mom with her medical problems. When I get some time, I will be back to look at more. I'm reading when I can.

[5th column]

Hi Laurie, I just wanted to mention Burds Don't Care for the wonderful sonics and cadence which is an absolute treat to read. I'll be back for more a bit later.

[MEHope]

This is the money shot here, perfect in every sense. (And dogs don't need their due, they know they rule us.) Great thread!

Stillwater, Oklahoma: Gas and Oil Industry's Targeted City of Concern


The OIPA* lawyer stands at the podium.
He wears a very nice suit jacket but the seam
is ruptured. He is unaware of this.
These oil guys never look
behind. They are always looking down,
which explains their expensive shoes,
Italian leather. His are a subtle shade
of orange to signal allegiance
to Oklahoma State, a place
he's never seen but owns, in part,
so there you go. This guy accuses
us of bringing in outside agitators.
We think he must mean the graduate students
because he doesn't like their numbers
which dispute his, such as
the decibel levels of a fracking rig
three hundred feet from a bedroom window
are comparable to conversational speech
at the same distance. Who can dispute
what lobbyists have paid our legislature
to assert and codify into law? I will speak
soon about geese and ganders. Specifically,
the wind farm goose in Committee,
soon to face a 9,000 foot setback for similar decibel
levels. I will ask if what is good for the goose
and so on. I will be told we aren't talking
about the comparative goose,
we are talking about poultry, cooked.
There are no ganders, here, move along.


*Oklahoma Independent Petroleum Association

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hi Laurie,

There's a nice varity here, and I've enjoyed catching up with your thread.

Sometimes I Think I'm Having a Different Conversation Than Everyone Else "the first whiff / of comprehension". Magic!

The anti-cat poem. The pawing at the back door and not wanting to go out is spot on. To be honest though, I don't fully see the point of dogs as pets either. I tend to think both over-rated. Mind you, I sometimes think the same about kids. Even my own

The Girl and the Dog Named Holstein nicely weird dark humour, especially the ending with the cliff and the ball. Poor boyfriend though, coming second to the dog.

Stillwater. Fracking's coming over here too, and the current UK government are very pro, and have recently changed the law to make legal to frack under private land and houses without permission, which would have been a major barrier. I like the oilmen looking down and not looking back, and the goose and gander ending. Good luck with fighting them.

The bird's don't care I'm not quite sure where this is coming from, I'm guessing irony, but maybe not.

-Matt

[Sorella]

Hahahahahahahahaha! Somehow missed the hilarious incident in the shop, that Different Conversation ... whiff indeed!!

Funniest and most human poem I have read for a long time

Sorella catching up

[PClem]

bop, Howard, Brian, Neil, Mary, Matt and Sorella (again!) thank you for stopping by and for all the useful comments!

When Stillwater, Oklahoma Went Absolute Zero

A pop-up ad on my newsfeed warns
citizens vote!
against Stillwater's proposed energy ban.
Yes, folks, City Council will stop
production of gas,
as well as oil and coal. No more
geothermal, hydroeletric or burning
of wood, garbage or grandma's discarded
underthings. The City's diverted
our wind, foiled the sun, eliminated
methane from cows. Body heat?
Passe. It's a scientific miracle –
an entire community achieves
absolute zero.
Climate change is real.

[casket N orbit]

"Metaphor", every time I read this poem I can't help but picturing a politician running, not for an office, but running for his life, hehee. I love the wording and the images.
"When the St. Paul...", I love how the parents are interwoven into the story from the first stanza onward. "Mom asked", a wickedly great stanza break. An I-can't-frown-now hilarity from start to finish. Line 14 - nice!

[PClem]

Thanks, casket! Catching up tonight, will try to fluff tomorrow.

Untitled


The wood hyacinths nod
with each drop
of rain, yes,
the mud is soft, it is
cool, yes, come play.




Creed of the Malcontent


For preference, I'll take
the glass half empty or better,


the dregs if I can. Sink
or swim? Give me


the muck at the bottom
where it's quiet


and the living is soft. A shovel
I have and also a hole,


dug it myself. Don't know how
I'll get out, don't have a ladder.


I'll commune
with the worms


since everyone hates me
then season with salt.