Thanks Brian, thanks for reading.
Thx cookala, glad you enjoyed it!
G.
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Thanks Brian, thanks for reading.
Thx cookala, glad you enjoyed it!
G.
Literal Entropy
My thesaurus broke. Synonyms
shot across the room
Like pellets from a broken shotgun shell;
Antonyms arced and bounced on hardwood
like glass beads from a Hesse novel.
Not unlike, a box of fresh white
stalks of chalk dropped,
scattered and shattered,
messages, potential knowledge,
lay arrayed in ways only
the autistic can understand.
Juliet Slips
Brown eyes, darkened at the outer edges, well-spaced
over-arched by strong soft brows, pored into me
from between generous lashes,
yet laid bare her soul through soulful windows.
Her nose was straight, not patrician though,
and was as if pinched at the end by the sculptor
when the clay was soft. Not a button,
it concealed her nostrils artfully.
Her mouth, and what a mouth, was adorned
by two blushing pilgrims standing ready
to deliver an oft hoped for sin, sweetly urged.
The thin, lean line of her upper lip
was like the sweep of a distant albatross's wings
above a lower lip full of promise, vagina pink.
***
an ekphrastic
Last edited by prokopton; 04-04-2015 at 01:01 PM.
The sexual wordplay comes hard and furious! Galiic tower *snigger, snigger* Vagina pink. I like the comparison of the perching tree and bird in the first poem. The chalk comparison in "Literal Entropy" is striking too.
In this group so far, I like best "First Tree of Spring" with its neat hopefulness; "Aurora" for its personification; and "Literal Entropy" for its wit.
I am not as good as I think I am -- Scavella's mantra, Nov 2006
Terrific cadence and descriptives in Aurora, lovely sounds throughout. Love the distinct imagery and tone in each poem you've written. Look forward to more!
Offeg,
I think I want to visit Paris.
This:
Not unlike, a box of fresh white
stalks of chalk dropped,
scattered and shattered,
messages, potential knowledge,
lay arrayed in ways only
the autistic can understand.
is insightfully written.
Donner
offeg - not found
No words found in this wordlist when searching for offeg.
No direct (one word) anagrams for offeg found in this word list.
Moderator
Let the poem do the talking. Then hide behind it.
Get your copy of Try to Have Your Writing Make Sense - The Quintessential PFFA Anthology!
thank you, Jee Leong, for reading and commenting.
We aim to please; you aim too, please.
G.
Scavella, thx for visiting.
I am glad you liked so much of it so far.
I am encouraged and will scribe harder.
all the best to you too.
G.
ThaNK you Donner,
you are too kind.
I am gratified by your comments.
G.
Thanks Janet,
I'm happy that you liked and commented.
best of luck with your Napo.
G.
My God, Geoff, what a range of themes, denying yourself nothing! La Tour, a lovely Aurora, chalks and Julie: you're on a rock'n'roll here!
Sorella
Prokopton,
1. I like the image of the thousand roots spreading out and branching beneath the earth. I also liked that the birds were very impatient to accept this new perch. Nice!
2.Paris exposed its grandest erection, and cavort between its legs and Gallic symbol made me grin!
3. I like the glow and burnished colors of Aurora.
4. Literary entropy made me smile. I liked the image of your Thesaurus breaking. The shattering chalk was a nice touch. I also liked that the spilled and broken words have the potential to make some kind of sense in the end.
5. Oh! I like Juliet Slips best of all! The sexual tones are here, but not overdone. The last line was a surprise! Enjoyed this!
Angela~
Wow. I love the way each poem is completely different. 'La Tour' made me laugh out loud - really, really funny.
'Aurora' is beautiful. Very rich and strange.
I love 'Antonyms arced and bounced on hardwood' in 'Literal Entrophy' (and the wordplay in your title is fantastic, and gets me caught up in an ever-spiralling downward thought about the idea of it), and in 'Juliet' I love the way the lines 'as if pinched at the end by the sculptor /when the clay was soft' are so precise.
Thank-you! What a fabulous thread.
Sarah
This really resonates for me. I think I'm going to write a reply.
My response.