Some poems, arguably

[casket N orbit]

"thread" - - terrific linebreak on "Fluff". Never heard of crullers (had to look it up) but my favorite line is: "No crullers and tea for you." No one would accuse "thread"'s speaker of being bashful. I liked "Scenes from the. . .", that is one cat of a character. "Cashy the Cat dauners up Sauchiehall Street" - - great line!

[Featherless Biped]

Thank you for responding to my request with "Something Nasty". What a fascinating collection of feelings and fears and desires. I think you overestimate the ethics of women (or I dunno... weird female-bodied people), because my impulse is to think that this looks like a fascinating set of toys, and to wish for the opportunity to play with it.

I love your scenes from the crash, all of them. I've never been to Scotland, so I can't judge the accuracy, but they are funny and lively and take me to someplace I've never been.

"Cashy the Cat" is a great drama--a mascot's life is not a happy one. I admire the cleverness and risk-taking of writing the conversation overlaying the image of Cashy. It's hard to know how to read that--I feel like it's meant to approximate the experience of the reader paying attention out of the corner of their eye to Cashy, while eavesdropping on the conversation of the guy who wants his PS3 back. Still, the underlying story is great, and I'm not sure the strangeness is bad--maybe it's on the reader to practice new ways of reading.

So many good parts in "Musical Interlude and Drinks": the musical interlude at the beginning; "A couple paracetamol
an a shite n yir bran new"; "embollocking his sex life"; "Peel me with a strigil".

"Bank Holiday" is good fun; my favourite bits are feeding Breakaways to monkeys, and the Cresta Cola coloured waves. (I must have a thing for sugary foods.)

Really enjoyable thread. More scenes from the crash, please!

[Speug]

Thanks. Casket, I didn't know what crullers were either (if you missed 'Photogate', 'thread' is a cento made from the 'Pictures during NaPo' thread at the top of the NaPo page - I can't take credit for any good phrases).

Rachael, thanks for the detailed comments - I have a lot to think about.

Scenes from the Crash: Context II

London is spicewormed to spongecake, a trypophobic
nightmare, but eventually it saturates;
the oversump slumps north. Our social fabric
is muslin to begin with; shortly it’s fishnets;
give it half a year and eighties as Rubik
it’ll be all string-vests around here – cherubic
Rab Cs as far as the eye can see, and, wait –
Ah’ll tell you this, boy, let me tell you this:

never mind yir wellies when yir oxter-deep in piss.

[shadygrove]

You're just warming up, aren't you? I'm pretty sure I don't want to meet any of the people or go any of the places in any of these poems. Ever. In fact, I may never fuck a man again, so ugly are all the boys in here. And I'm heterosexual, mainly. Still, it's gotta be saying something that your thread has two of the best lines I've read in weeks: "embollocking his sex life" (the payday poem is marvelous straight through, and you shouldn't shy away from dialect; it's pitch perfect). Also "anxious as a piss/
in a doorway." I think I just felt my libido leak out my belly button. Ick. Great stuff. I'll be following....

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hi Paul,

I had to look "trypophobic up"; I enjoyed the poem before I did, but like it even more now. "spicewormed to spongecake" is a great beginning; I like the holey materials that follow; love the word-play of "our social fabric is muslin", nice Rac C Nesbitt reference to confuse the non-Brits and a great last line. Nice one.

Matt

[Speug]

Thanks, shady and Matt. Normally I'd say, if you don't know the meaning of a word, look it up, but seriously, I recommend people do not look up 'trypophobic' - makes me itchy just thinking about it. Sorry, both, for all the unpleasant images. Here's a nice festive one.

Scenes from the Crash: Christmas comes to the Crash

The last thing you want to see,
pawning your wean’s Wii on Christmas Eve,
is some cunt in a santa hat,

I explain, reasonably.
Surprisingly, Al agrees.

Dave the Phone Guy comes round at five with a case of Tennent’s

We drink it in the back shop.
I play the theme from the snooker
on what used to be someone’s guitar.

[Arlene]

ought never have looked up a bunch of stuff on your variously nasty and funny thread...love still the baby one, and now this cashy the Cat character, dunno why, and yes 'embollocking his sex life,' a brilliant mash-up.

[Scrow]

Hello,

These are really, really good - in the details - the arcade machines and the Breakaways in Bank Holiday, for example - everything is spot-on redolent of a particular period, the names are great - and put together as part of a whole story in your thread they work as very interesting and strong as a fragment of many people's different stories. Various images stand out - I love 'Swinging Lexus' in Context 1, for example, but I could pick out more.

The latest one is good too - again, you use N to link between the characters (in their context) and someone reading. I do think they all read well together. I've gone back to read "Cashy the cat' and like

What really works for me is that you walk a difficult balance in painting a picture of something that is very specific without making it too much of a peep show. For example- the cashing-up one (Musical Interlude) reminded me of exactly the same frustrations and feelings from working in shops - which is important, I think - to establish some contact with your characters. There's not any idea that we're watching them like monkeys in the zoo - there's enough in there for everyone to relate, whilst you maintain the interest and strength of a particular environment and particular dialogue.

They work well as a group of poems, too - and the setting of the context - the banker and his numbers - is important, too.

Sarah

[cookala]

heya Paul! Scenes from the Crash: Context II - love this London is spicewormed to spongecake and nice transition from muslin to Rabcs - and nice sonics throughout. enjoyed!

[Steven]

Some nice slant-eyed humour on offer in this thread, particularly liked the quirkiness of 'Scenes from the Crash: Christmas comes to the Crash', with its 'theme from the snooker on what used to be someone's guitar'.

'Scenes from the Crash: Musical Interlude & Drinks' was a lot of fun, particularly the first stanza and the penultimate:

embollocking his sex life and I put the same five songs on the jukebox
n Marty feeds the puggy
n Bri rinses us at pool n Rod gets another round in
n we go out for a ciggy
n when we come back Andy starts in with the knob jokes
n everything is ground-in


Interesting miniature description of London in 'Context II', with plenty to like.

[Steven]

Some nice slant-eyed humour on offer in this thread, particularly liked the quirkiness of 'Scenes from the Crash: Christmas comes to the Crash', with its 'theme from the snooker on what used to be someone's guitar'.

'Scenes from the Crash: Musical Interlude & Drinks' was a lot of fun, particularly the first stanza and the penultimate:

embollocking his sex life and I put the same five songs on the jukebox
n Marty feeds the puggy
n Bri rinses us at pool n Rod gets another round in
n we go out for a ciggy
n when we come back Andy starts in with the knob jokes
n everything is ground-in


Interesting miniature description of London in 'Context II', with plenty to like.

[Speug]

Thank you very much Arlene, Sarah (I'm glad it doesn't feel like observing specimens - it is something I'm worried about writing these - thanks for the detailed comments), Cookie and Steven.

Scenes from the Crash: Context III

Garnethill’s not high enough – Glasgow,
you are drowning in the opposite
of money; you are a perfect San Francisco
of violence; Glasgow you are a composite
of socialist realist novels, indie disco,
recreational drug use, the sort of cop show
where everyone wears a mac, a chewed cassette,
twenty fags, twelve lagers and ten rapid.

It’s not about the economy, and don’t call me stupid.

[cookala]

hi Paul! being American I don't understand the contrast here, don't know enough about Glasgow to get the political/social commentary but I do like internal rhymes, and it does bite, if that's worth anything.

[Speug]

Thanks, Cookie. I took a video of this one last night, but it didn't come out very well. Let's see if it works in print.

It’s not the economy, and don’t call me stupid

The markets are nervous.
The markets are jittery.
The markets are apprehensive.
The markets are Disney-eyed baby mammals whose mothers have just been shot.
The markets are Victorian ladies in too-tight corsets.
The markets are David Copperfield, Oliver Twist, Nicholas Nickleby, Little Nell and Tiny Tim.

The markets are jumpy.
The markets fear.
The markets are PewDiePie playing Five Nights at Freddy’s.
The markets would laugh their pinstriped asses off at how dated that reference already is,
but the markets have no memory and no sense of humour.

The markets are sensitive.
The markets are just going through a bit of an emotional time right now, so… y’know…

The markets are bullish
or something like that.
The markets have done eight Jägerbombs and three lines of coke and have you ever been to a strip club?
The markets don’t usually smoke but if you have a spare…
The markets are seriously we should go to a strip club!
The markets just spilled your pint.
The markets are we going to a fucking strip club or what?

The markets do not like uncertainty.
The markets do not like.

Three years ago Mitt Romney said, “Corporations are people.”
Oh, how we laughed.

[Angela]

Speug,

I came to your thread with all good intentions and played Eenie Meenie Minie Mo on your list. I crash landed on Scenes from the Crash: Context II and immediately had to look trypophobic up. Why in God's name did I do that?? I spent an hour stuck, being sucked in deeper and deeper into youtubeland. Now I will have nightmares, man. I never knew this was a thing and now I am infected with this phobia. Gaaa!

I did like hearing that London is spicewormed to spongecake, though. You have a terribly wicked mind. I will be back if I don't succumb to my newly found illness.

Angela~