Alexandrite-- Stiffen the Sinews, Summon up...Blood

[cookala]

hi Alexandrite!
Not - I like your take on aging gracefully - not! (pun intended! couldn't resist.) "do not go gracefully into the night..." agreed!
Spring Dance - that 3rd line brings it all together
Tattle Tales - sweet. paw prints on a clean floor. a reminder of what was.

[bop]

Alex,
I like 'Not'. It is inimacable! That's not the right word, but what the hell. Good poem.
best wishes
bop

[BruisedOrange]

I've enjoyed reading all of your thread. 'Not' strikes me particularly, especially:
Time erects no thorny barriers
………….age designs no barricade.

Each wrinkle is simply
………………my field guide,

experiences aggregate.

Wonderful attitude, lovely words. I'll come again to visit soon.

Jen

[Alexandrite]

Kristalynn, Cookie, bop & Jen---

Many.many thanks for your kind comments and superior support! Onward and onward-- right?

[Alexandrite]

Lake Webster Late at Night


Who murmurs
under this mulberry sky,

under stars scrawled in an eastward slant
as if calligraphy?

The sounds are succoring,
skirted in tones of alliance.

But the lake feigns indifference
as evening air obfuscates with ripples.

Silt and foam utter vowels,
consonants slosh between piers.

Runnels blink and lengthen
from lights on the opposite shore.

Who haunts the lake at this late hour?
What other insomnolent creature

cast thoughts as small stones
into the depths?

[Donner]

Hi, Alex,

Not - Amen.

You're the queen of couplets, I swear, in part for lines like this from "Cemetery":

the way little girls’ dresses flare
as they twirl and sing.

You can see the swirls of snow, feel them, hear them.

Then there's your ever-attention to word/sound play:

It’s within this simplicity--
the sun tossed and tangled
in distant branches,
fleece snugged under your chin,
pine needles spread as a great
bronzed carpet—their fragrance
released like a bygone memory
into the wind.

By the end of April, you won't be rusty, I promise. Because you're not creakin' now.

Donner

[HowardM2]

"Cemetery on a Wintry Day" is exquisite with its fusing of the swirling snow in the cemetery and the girls' dresses, leading to the fine conclusion:

among somber stones,
the dance endures.

"Indiana SB-101" and "Not" also stand out for me, especially

Each wrinkle is simply
………………my field guide

Fine work here altogether.

[5th column]

Hi Alex, after your ling time out I could feel the gears warming up, looking for synchronization but in How to Return you found it almost without trying. The poem has lift. I love the word play with bear witness.

Great run up for the long mid-NaPo jump

[Featherless Biped]

Cemetery on a Wintry Day is beautifully designed and paced. I'm particularly digging the Mobius strip to little girls in sparkly dresses sequence of images. Probably my favorite of the thread, although Not​ gives it a run for its money.

How to Return to Oneself takes me back, image-wise, to memories of cold climates, and how bracing and important it is to get physically moving in that image. Putting the cold weather next to fleece and the carpet of pine needles makes the whole thing feel surprisingly warming, and cheering.

Indiana SB-101 makes excellent use of the metaphor of erosion. (It's rhetoric that you often hear from the right--the erosion of our traditional American values--but that doesn't mean that the right isn't perpetrating it.)

Not makes me excited to be getting older. Love the cartwheel organs, though I am not looking forward to those!

There is much charm in the two catch-up haiku; I especially enjoyed Tattle Tails. This is why I can't be bothered cleaning the house.

Lake Webster at Night has this lovely image of the lake mumbling, like it's just not articulate enough to spit out whatever it has to say. "Obfuscates with ripples" is great.

[delph_ambi]

Much lovely lyrical poetry here.

'Tattle Tails' made me smile.

[Alexandrite]

Donner & Howard-- I appreciate your visit and yummy fluff! Thank you!!
5th, Rachael, and Delph-- You are so gracious to spend time and your comments here. Thank you!!!

[Alexandrite]

Daughter’s Room, Turned Guest Room


A few bins have been
stacked near the baseboard,

other than that,
the rug shows little wear.

A Wal-Mart sack with Macy’s receipt
(Lord knows why) lies on the bed.

These shades are no longer drawn
so sunlight hits the layer of dust

settled on the nightstand.

We walk past this door daily
most times, never glancing in,

but there are times
when something catches the eye:

battered toe shoes
dangling from the bedpost,

a 70s-style poster declaring
“Mother Earth”,

the beanbag cat still sitting
on its chartreuse pillow.

Is this Time paused in its fluidity,
never to budge

until static memories beckon us in?

[Steven]

Hi, Alexandrite,


This theme of childhood nostalgia, imagining places once known intimately but now isolated by time and place, holds a lot of interest for me, and I think the way you've approached it works well. This is a really worthy first draft. I like the details, and the summation at the end. Strong, assured work, and a nice 'pace' of writing, that gives this reader time to consider and think during the poem.

Good work.

[cookala]

heya Alexandrite! Lake Webster has some wonderfully chewy images and diction, love the calligraphy and the casting of thoughts as stones, and the mood setting. you get awesome sauce!

[Alexandrite]

Steven--- thank you for your kind comments!!

Cookie--- you are AMAZING!! Thank you!!