Dave's startled thread.

[Dave Rowley]

Splendid

As splendid as a bowerbird perched
in his bottle-top palace. Elaborate,
like a stallion made of bamboo shoots
and silk. She gobbled a bowl of gooseberries,
laid the papers aside to write love letters,
condolence notes, R.S.V.P.’s.

I love you, summery daydream singer stringing
....................honeysuckle across the gazebo.

So sorry your horse has flown away,
....................unclose all the windows we are moving in.

See you there, my blue note prince, my heart-song
....................mimic. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

[Dave Rowley]

Crash

The wave is on it’s way to ending,
an arm of water swept across
a table. Over the edge she falls
in suds and sand, leaving memories
thick with silver heavings, love-stung
coral, preserved in brine yet wavering.

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

"Splendid" is splendid. It is a strange hybrid, though, filled with strange hybrid thoughts.

"Crash" is a picture postcard from "over the edge".

And they both feel like they belong to the same aesthetic world, without being imitative of each other.

BrianIs AtYou

[cookala]

heya Dave! Splendid - love the diction rich wording in this, and esp those 3 responses. Crash - like the personification here, and the detailed imaging of a piece of coral being washed up on the shore. enjoyed!

[Arlene]

oh, Dave, sorry I never got back to you from the very first day, some of these are lovely, and you've gone so soon...next year? Hope all is well. Crash snd Splendid are both lovely, 'my blue-note prince,' gorgeous jazzy sad image. Best, Arlene

[Scrow]

Hello,

I do like 'Splendid'. I love the way you've constructed it, with the italicised couplets extracts of the writing, and S1 contextualising the extracts. This is like entering some 'through the looking glass' world where the minutiae of note-making is transformed into something magical and strange. S'lovely.

Sarah