Working Overtime at the Poetry Factory

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Emilio,

Thanks. Actually, it was a dream that I'd remembered and wanted to think about more. I often find writing about them can help me do that.

And here's my last of the week.

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

She has daggers for teeth
and a plump, fleshy lure.

Her mate is a parasite,
his genitals latched tightly on,

as he’s slowly absorbed
into her much larger body.

They turn the TV over
when the angler-fish come on.

[Scrow]

Matt,

'Women of' is full of interesting phrases and tight writing. I hope you'll take this one and work it in some way - there are so many places it could go, all of them interesting.

'Angler Fish' - very clever - and could work very well when placed in the context of the previous poem. As with 'Penny' in one of your previous 'Seven's', I'm intrigued by the individual characters perspectives here. Oh, if only it were Tuesday.

Sarah

[Arlene]

Angler-Fish sounds like a nightmare for the poor male, Shards is edgy, love the peas, the seals...fluffing is good for the soul.

[Steven]

'Angler Fish' is kind of disturbing. There is a narrative that intrudes at the end to subvert the previous three couplets, but I'm unsure of how the angler fish relates to they -- probably the way people are repulsed by sex and made uncomfortable by it.

Very much enjoyed visiting this thread. Great month.

[Donner]

Hi, Matt,

What Steven said. I'm thinking it's about a couple watching a nature program on TV as couples do and something about the angler-fish subconsciously reminds them of their relationship and it disturbs them (as if just their appearance isn't enough), so they both end up changing the channel. Which is not the norm because it's usually one person who controls the remote.

Your thread has been as interesting, educational and entertaining as always.

Donner

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Thanks all for the pleasure of your company this week.

The idea with the angler-fish was this: given the title and a working knowledge of angler-fish appearance mating habits you'd think S1-3 you'd think I was describing a bonded pair of angler fish. Come S4, you'd realise I was describing a human couple. They switch over from the angler-fish on TV because they find them repulsive, suggesting a lack of insight.

Donna, Steven, I think you were both on track, but if I came back to this I'd need to make it clearer. Or maybe you're just wondering at the deeper point of the poem, in which case, I must confess there wasn't one really, it's been a long week (or 6 weeks if you count NaPo)

Donna, when I watch TV with someone, changing the channel is a joint decision. So that's what I'm imagining here.

Sarah, whose angle did you want the story retold from in the angler-fish poem?!

Most likely see you all in June.

-Matt

[Scrow]

Aha! Well, I want to see why each character wants to turn over when they see the angler-fish. I'm assuming, as reader, that they change channels because some aspect of the angler-fish documentary reminds them subliminally of their own behaviour or the behaviour of their partner. So, being a very inquisitive character, I want to know which aspect and why. I love stories, you see. Mind you, I'd rather hear more about Bearded Dave. I miss Bearded Dave.

Sarah
(you can call me 'annoying, demanding Sarah' if you want to)

[Emilio]

Matt, I loved Angler Fish, it was my favorite! I loved the simplicity, the robust imagery, the twist at the end that completely caught me off guard. I red it over and over, it was a nice finish to the week! Great thread, Matt, and thanks for your support this week,

Emilio

[Featherless Biped]

I'm impressed with the sense of loss and longing you've achieved in "The Women of My Dreams". (I like that device--putting the real feelings into dreams, where you can manipulate their logic.)

Nice punchline in "Angler Fish". (It reminds me of that line from Kung Fu Monkey: "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.")

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Emilio, Ra

Thanks for fluffing my final poems!

Ra, the dream poem actually was a dream! It's a bonus when I remember a dreams during Sevens & NaPo, it means I don't have to come up with any new material. Plus writing a poem about a dream is a good way of working on it, seeing what it yields to investigation.

Sarah, I'll see if I can come up with another Bearded Dave poem sometime. The angler fish poem was a bit like a joke, I don't have a sense of the two characters at all.

Hope to see you all in June.

-Matt

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

From a crack
in the great grey
orthodoxy
of pavement

a shocking heresy
of green.

[Scrow]

Nice one, Matt.

I like the irony, and the conceit. I also like that this is so understated, and the fun of this. Yay! It's June Sevens!

Sarah

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Thanks Sarah!

So here's tonight's, continuing the religion/pavement theme. I'll be back to catch up with my fluffing in the morning.

-Matt

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

I found God in a crack in the pavement
asleep beneath a blasphemy of weeds,
his pockets all filled up with fag-butts,
and his beard was moulded from dirt.

I accused him of hiding there in that crack.
His denial was a slurred rumble of thunder:
I am like a mirror in circle of ten mirrors,
my reflection in each, and each reflected in Me.

But His breath smelt faintly of booze,
and the finger He wagged was nicotine brown.
So I left him there – the all-in-one, one-in-all –
slumped in the shade of the dandelion leaves.

The harmonica He blew was a stranger to melody,
and the sign at His feet begged for change.