How oatmeal cured my insomnia (and other riveting stories)

[Janet]

Kristalynn, Dunc, Donner and Rachael- I appreciate each of your comments so much. Shirtage of time this morning).

Big day...

How to divorce a narcissist

Ignore the squeezed tear when he says,
"I know I didn't cherish you."

Look at the therapist. Check your watch.
Bristle should he open his arms for a hug.

Breathe deeply.
Block him.

Should you feel weepy, summon
your exiles. Embrace them.
These are your champions.

If you can't for yourself, leave for your child.
Your mother's destiny need not be yours.

Spin an om symbol on your ring finger.
Wear cuffs like Wonder Woman.

On the day of your hearing, rise
like a flower, go down like a sunset.

[Mimic_Octopus]

I love your titles, Janet. Each one seems to propel you into the poem. No mucking around. Favourites so far include 'She throws an ice bucket over the dreamer', 'How to divorce a narcissist' and the spareness of 'Early April'. Great going!

[Janet]

Thanks very much, Mimic- glad you enjoyed.

What they say about the doormat

1. It's frayed at the edges.
2. Sometimes it's better on the flip side.
3. There's a doormat?
4. Don't apologize (it can take it).
5. Those bristles. Little irritating.
6. Might be better without it.
7. Most of the time it just sits there.
8. I want one that's more fun.
9. Just take it outside and shake it.
10. Wow, it's dirtier than it looks.
11. It does its job better
after a beating.

[5th column]

Janet, What they say about the doormat sits, for me on the raggedy edge of cliche, but does it just right and with style. #11 - that's what transports it from vin ordinaire. The hard edge bumps up against the more predictable in a way that makes it stand out but without being showy. I'd consider leaving it as a single line. The pause feels a little dramatic and the single line would be more bleak, but that's just me. Great poem.

[Janet]

Thanks Neil for that tip and of course for the fluffy encouragement.

Guided Meditation

My twin reminds me of Tokyo, when Shelly
said, "Imagine the desert." We closed our eyes,
crawled under a blanket.

With words, she drew the heat, burned
our skin and scalps with the sun and sand.

When the room sweltered, Shelly said,
"Take off your skirts." We saw our underwear
and the rest, fly out the window when Shelly
yanked the blanket.

That wasn't as bad as Ellie the elephant.
What Shelly did to us with that soft toy's trunk.

[M]

Janet,

Have you somehow seen some of my private thoughts?? It took me way too long to make it here to your thread, and I will not make that mistake again. I have enjoyed every single word so far, and found myself (literally) nodding my head as I read sometimes. I don't' think I've ever had the pleasure of reading you, but as a fellow (former) Texan, it's great to "meet" you. In Ice Bucket - this: "the part that's become winter..." Yes. Just, yes. Interracial was very cute. You've definitely got the gift of witty humor. Loved the mom being so white she couldn't see her shadow, and the dad's being dark but he does everything white. Why He Should Want...Again, I swear you've somehow seen inside a past home of mine. I'd rather...well, you know where that's going. The end was a brilliant double entendre. In April, "I'm smarter than a commitment" -- I should only learn to be so smart in all areas of my life...though I've managed it in some. Finding Myself, loved the short lines and the enjambments. "cattle sandwich" was perfect, and S3 is it's own poem within the poem. How Oatmeal Cured...I can't pick my favorite part, but blaming wakefulness on a list of various other daily things is something that really stands out, and I have to say the same of How To...

The Doormat poem actually hurt me. It's so true, all of it. Guided Meditation seems like something, and then you find out it's something else entirely. Very unsettling, but in a great way.

I'll definitely be back around. Thanks for writing.

[Janet]

M- thank you for sharing your reaction to my poems- I'm delighted to hear they resonated with you at that level. xoxo

Brain Chemistry (a thank you note)

Amy G. Dala,

Thanks for the hysterical cocktail and for hooking me up
with Adrena Lin. For making me bolder than
I naturally am. You're the reason I yelled so loud.

I know you meant well with the flashbacks
and uncontrollable heartbeats. Without you,
I would have stayed forever.

Profoundly yours,

Em Path
(a.k.a. PTSD survivor)

[Janet]

Merry

Yesterday, she scolded the babysitter.
One of the twins had cried,
Babysitter held baby in her lap-
of course she stopped crying!

Have you seen her butterfly collection?

Merry follows Spock's advice,
knows babies cries become habitual
when they receive comfort in written
in response (it's omewhere in the book).
It's easy for her to let them scream.

She turns on music.
Gets out a pattern and sews.

She knows everything about rocks.
When she was a little girl,
Pappy taught her about agate,
geodes and gemstones.

No, it hasn't been four hours
yet since Merry last nursed them.
Gross. Think of all the diapers
she'd have to change if she fed them
more often.

Look through her zoom lens.
Do you see the aphid?

Merry's not neglecting the them,
she's just teaching them
to not need her

Their cries make her want
to blow a hole in her head.

She waters her garden.
Smiles at the weeds.

Just look at the twins in the crib.
How their heads gravitate
towards each other.

They don't need her.
They have each other.

[anenome]

Good stuff Janet, and yes I agree about interesting titles. Early April is a favourite, How to Divorce a Narcissist and Doormat for its dual inferences, keep it up!

[beeswax]

Janet – sorry it’s taken me so long to come round to your thread. I enjoyed immensely. ‘She replaces tenderness with laser focus’ (Gosh! Reminds me of me!) I love it. Also those last two lines. . . had me rewriting: ‘How like a summer hath thine absence been from me . . .’. Last line of ‘why he should want a divorce’ – lovely ironical statement. The last line ha ha had me laughing. Parenthesis can do that when used in the right place. Meditation while running with cattle is excellent. If you can see your shadow – you’re in fine shape. Lovely to read your title thread poem. I don’t sleep a lot. Recently I found taking half of my allergy pill at night sends me off! And retains its antihistamine affect for the rest of next day. (sorry shouldn’t be offering medical advice). I love ‘how to divorce a narcissist’ for reasons I won’t go into except to say you give good advice. The doormat – Oh God! that works on more than one level – and that makes a poem! Loved Amygdala –interesting look at that biochemical process. ‘Merry’ is a little scary – damn that Dr Spock – one can go too far. Hope you can tell I enjoyed your thread.

[kristalynn]

Brain Chemistry-clever and poignant. Merry-creepy and interesting tactic regarding feeding and elimination.

[Janet]

Thanks Kirsty, bees and kristalynn- appreciate the fluff so very much.

[Janet]

Thirteen

By now, we've moved many times,
said too many goodbyes.

When Mother says, "You never listen,"
I don't. Father gets the stink eye.

Call it peer pressure or rape,
I lose my virginity to the junior high
janitor. Word travels. Mother freaks out
in the kitchen, afterwards
acts like nothing happened.

I'm heckled in the halls,
I wake up to whiskey.

I pray with a razor.
When I kneel in church,
I burn.

[Janet]

Dear Future Me,

I know your regrets, but think about now.
Remember all you had to undo
before you even got started.

Look ok at you: You kept your boy safe.
His respect is born of your bones.
Others fall asleep on their watch. Not you.
You fought. You taught him strength.
Not meanness and biceps.

Think of the soft spot at you center.
Ask yourself how it got so big.

[Janet]

What a dream means

In a white room with pillows and billowing curtains
I'm certain angels exist (this is before I know
a dream's symbolism, that psyches can split).

Young, I know nightmares may occur in daylight.
This dream's my storm cellar, it's a window-
like heaven, I'm lost when it stops.

I chase the dream's ghost,
wind up in a black hole.
When, I emerge I see
I am the dream.