Acolyte's "Sonnets to Bacchus" Thread IFT

[M]

Acolyte -- Like a couple of others, I don't know how I missed your thread this whole time, but I am so glad I found it. These are phenomenal, and I am seriously taken with your style. I wish I hadn't found it so late at night -- the owner of my company is scheduled to be here in the morning, so I have to go to sleep, but I couldn't shut it down without taking the time to say at least that I have thoroughly enjoyed your thread, and I will have to come back tomorrow and really read through and comment on my favs. Great stuff.

[Acolyte]

M--glad to make you lose time, hope the boss's visit went well.

La Vie En Rouge

romance begins with rosemary
select a lush, longish sprig
and with a gentle tug
shed its lower needles
into the cup

then pour in silky simple syrup
later you will savor its flavor
but for now its liquid texture
will slick the herb's surface
and render pleasant
the friction of the muddle
as you crush the needles gently
with a new lover's
hesitant, expectant touch

curacao comes next
a liqueur as much of islands
as of orange zest
its cool citrus will curve over your tongue
like moonlight on the ocean
or his hand atop your hip
almost too much, too soon, too sweet

so to balance the scale
drop in lemon juice
a tit for tat or tête-à-tête
a playful nip on your shoulder
you will blush to remember tomorrow

tie the drink together
with bold cranberry's
tart and impish grin
a glimpse of red underwear
worn as much to impress
as to be, later, undressed

and, since such presentation
is as key in cocktails
as in seduction's sultry steps
top it all with the rosemary
only partially unclothed before
you'll tap it for all its flavor
when you bring the finished,
lurid libation to your lips
for that first, siren sip

[Acolyte]

Lord of the Fireflies

almost no memory of my Indiana childhood
is as surreal as watching a new neighbor
an adult and father, thus all-knowing and benevolent
standing agape before a forest full of fireflies
(growing up in California, he had believed them mythical)

our silent wonder at this monstrous ignorance
did not last long; normalcy returned with typical events
dashing after insects, clapping them cautiously in little palms,
and delivering them to stick-equipped, hole-punched, little jars

the neighbor, though, had learned through chance that fireflies
illuminate at death, as if to protest against uncaring night
and, displaying humankind's renowned grace and restraint
he grabbed a tennis racket and smote them by the dozen from the sky

[larryrap]

Hi Acolyte,

There's a lot of pleasure to be taken from these poems. The wide range of sources is one of the great delights; many of us are clumsy when we try to incorporate science and technology but you do it very naturally and well.
My favorite happens to be Zombie - you made so much more out of it than I was expecting from the title. Good work.
The fertilizer poem - excellent. You strike the right tone - informative, deadpan, no histrionics.
Where did the sexiness go when you moved from "Capture the Flag" to "Raising the Flag"? I guess some contenders are simply not as desirable as others.
"La Vie En Rouge", on the other hand, has it in spades...
I'll be waiting for your next.

[bop]

Acolyte,

I enjoyed reading some of your thread. 'In the First Case ...' is funny, original, mouth-watering and rhymes well. I too love chicken soup! In 'Greek Love' N's keening heart is there for all to see. I loved the line '... because my futon without you is like a gym without weights ...'. 'La Vie En Rouge' is a delicious sexy cocktail of taste, colour and touch. In 'Lord of the Fireflies' I like the contrast between the gentleness of the first two stanzas and the brutality of the last. Sorry I haven't had time to read more.

bop

[Donner]

Hi, Acolyte,

I remember the first time I saw fireflies visiting my sister in MN. I thought they were magical until my brother-in-law said, "They're just a beetle." All of the elements are there, from the title suggesting something ominous (and with a great play on words) to the contrast between N's seemingly careful treatment of the insects with the neighbor's much harsher one. Both are self-serving and the outcome for the bugs are the same, but N's seems more humane somehow. I think with some revision this could be a stand-out poem.

Donner

[Acolyte]

larryrap--thanks for many positive comments. I really appreciate you taking the time. As for the unsexiness of "Raising the Flag", I think my intent and my feelings toward the subject matter were at odds and the subconscious won out. November can't come soon enough.
bop-- Thanks for stopping by. The rest aren't going anywhere, haha, and no problem for not getting to them. Soup is the best!
Donner--Maybe I'll stick around for post-NaPo workshopping!

All-- Sorry to be behind; I have a devil of a time writing on the weekend. I don't know how others do it. But I'm back and catching up. I'm already further along than any NaPo this decade, and by Ogma, I'm going to finish!


Mona Lisa with Duck Lips

suppose you wanted to be a piece of premodern art:
to become the beauty you wanted to behold
you'd pretty your lips with bitter arsenic
perfume your brow with musky ambergris
(which is made, by the way, from sperm whale shit)
strike a pose, swallow a groan, cheat out a bit
and stay that way for seven ten hour days

so it is surely less surprising that nowadays
many of those who'd prefer postmodern fame
abrade and scrape their skin, ahem, "exfoliate"
and affix fake smiles with botox injections
(which are made, by the way, from bacterial toxins)
ultimately to topple, shrieking, off scenic cliffs
clutching camera phones and selfie sticks

[Acolyte]

Gehennaphobia

when he acted out
as children do
his mother would say
"when I die
I'll have to answer
for the kind of
parent I've been"
an effective dose
of filial guilt:

he didn't often misbehave

later he learned
he was askew
and that came out
when he did
at which she opted
to demur:

a crucifix hung between them

at dinners, weddings
and eventually
her hospital bed
where he wavered
like Hosea
between her ways
and his
when at last
she asked

what kind of mother she had been

[Acolyte]

On the Dunes at Night

on the dunes at night
lies a comrade with his lover
watching the stars, his brown-pair stars

up through blood vessels
past hungering flesh, the arterial heat, in pulsed throbs surging,
curled digits and licks up necks and down earlobes,
upon an enraptured tight face not yet lust-ruddy
arrives wide and bright the lover's smile
and with that grin, only a tad bit to the sides
appear the concave twins: his dimples

on the dunes the comrade holds the strength of his lover
that heat which engorges wildly, soon to glaze over all
strokes and, impish, stops

stop not, comrade!
stop not, my lover!
with these kisses I beg you to continue
the hunger will not always surge
nor the throbbing possess me, nor long screw shut my eyes
my smile will return. continue! I beg! my dimples too will return
my smile lives, all future grins sardonic and mirthful you'll see again
the great smiles and little dimples will return, will endure
the fair ear-to-ears and come-hither, leering grins will be yours

then, cruel lover, stop not for an antic
consider more than laughter's prank,

that I know something
(with my touch teasing you, also with kisses
I more than speak the suggestion, the size and invitation)
something there is greater than a smile
(many the grinds, many the slides and sighs, gaining size)
something more insistent than even a lover's smile
larger than before and close at hand,
oh! the heat! the stars!



(Every NaPo I do a smutty rewrite of a section of Leaves of Grass. It's fun.)

[PClem]

There is no particular type of poem I "expect" from you, unless you are referring to the lascivious innuendo that lace so many of your works? Glad to have time to come back and dabble here, again, innuendo or no. Among all on offer, oddly enough, I really liked the fireflies the most. Well, duck lips was fun.

[Acolyte]

Laurie, it's not "expect" as in "demand", don't worry. I just mean, if you're reading Ross's NaPo thread, you should probably be prepared for some smut. "Fireflies" is in your idiom, I think (not style, but...milieu?). Thanks for stopping by.


Profanity

during an instructional lecture on weapon guidance
we watch a video filmed in Iraq:
our boys, pinned by sniper fire
call frantically for air support
moments later, a hotel roof explodes
and, lives saved, they whoop with relief
"fuck yeah! f--"

the instructor, a typically genial Mormon
cuts the audio, ears blushing
"sorry, guys, I like to keep it rated G"
smoke billows from the roof for
a few quiet seconds, until
a body drops from above the picture
suspended on the screen midfall
by the video's end
the ex-sniper's rag-doll corpse
floats forever

apologetically smiling again,
the instructor amends:
"more like PG, I guess"

[Acolyte]

The Bible Never Ends a Story with Happily Ever After

created with a rib ripped from Adam's side
formed, then, to be a sidekick, not a heroine
later cursed for curiosity
and held hostage to a life of labor
(hysterical and otherwise)
with one son slain and a firstborn lost
and thus torn and ripped by keening grief,

how often unexamined is the strength
she needed to bear it all and bear again
and I wonder if, while nursing Seth
Eve ever forgave and wept for Cain



(poem came from a bizarre-but-fun prompt generator, where I rolled 10 "breaking down", 6 "after death", and 5 this image)

[Acolyte]

The Newer Colossus

Not quite the gracious Lady Liberty,
with welcoming torch held high in the air,
now from our air-brushed tabloids waves "the Hair":
an orange prophet of Prosperity,
a hero of reality TV,
Father of Lawsuits--enemies beware
his worldwide power and his wild-eyed stare,
behold his vitriol's intensity!
"Keep, Muslim lands, your terrorists," he spits,
with quivering lips, "take back your poor, your small,
your freeloaders and rapist immigrants,
the dirty losers who, impoverished, crawl
on in. I'll oust you, and on top of it,
I'll make you pay for your own border wall."





(with apologies to Emma Lazarus)

[Angela]

Acolyte,

I just popped in and my eye caught your title, "The Bible Never Ends a Story with Happily Ever After." I really like the images this brought to me. The description and thoughts your Eve had worked. The end lines were a surprise. I had never really thought of her as a mother to Cain before. I was surprised to see what spurred your poem. The image the generator of "Eve" was almost exactly what I picture when I hear that name. I just bookmarked that site and I will see if I can get anything to spin from it. I will give you full credit for sharing and prompting me, of course! I will be back to your thread. This month has really snuck up and raced past me.

[larryrap]

Mona Lisa with Duck Lips is a genius image - I think it should find a good place in a more general poem.
Rewriting Leaves of Grass is also a great idea. I want you to do more with it - loosen up the diction, rejuvenate the POV and imagery. Stripping the camouflage off the sexuality is a good start.
Profanity illustrates an often-observed irony with brutal realism.
The bible poem is effective - especially S2.
I think those expressing disgust with Trump (with talent as here) are missing the opportunity to wonder what drives his support.