Angela's Snippet Factory

[Arlene]

Totally get Disgusted, but love Wildflowers...doesn't read, at least to me, like you're having a hard time. Chin up, 19 days to go.

[JFN]

Angela, I love the sense of pride N has for shucking their oyster, and the fact that nobody's listening.Are me smile. Nothing to be done by dive in. There's a fair bit of sexual imagery in this, should one choose to read it (or be predisposed to as I always seem to be).

I was engrossed by Corn Liquor. It has a real powerful energy about it. Love the punchline bit too.

I don't fully get the barbed wire heart feeding in Finale, except as a metaphor for learning to trust, perhaps, but probably not. Hmm, I'll come back to it.

Lovely repeating 'ee' sounds in Love Spell to draw the reader in. centuries / tree / bellies / honey / bees / blackberries / me / three / gently. Strong imagery too. Good work.

The first seven lines of Doodle would make for a fun sevenling, but the additional repeating underline and slash gives it some real vigour.

I like the idea of a boquet of weeds from Wildflowers. I like better the idea that it hushed her bawdy mouth. I'll have to try it next time.

Disgusted is rife with strong and very personal imagery, and the angry ending works very well indeed. a fragment of a walnut shell and the syrupy things stood out for me. There's such a link between sex and food in poetry.

Keep them coming, I want to read some more.

John

[kristalynn]

Yes, keep going! You've got some really good stuff here, just keep writing. It doesn't have to be a complete poem you post, just a draft of something, or just some lines with some energy.

[HowardM2]

"Shucking Oysters" is delightful with its sexual appetitiveness and juicy orgy. "Corn Liquor" is another fun recounting, all too familiar in many ways in younger days. "Love Spell" is an interesting list/charm poem for working delightful magic. "Disgusted" is a fine contrasting view of love and its evolution/decay over the years as the lovers change.

One suggestion about "Wildflowers": something I've found over the years in writing about that kind of subject is that specificity is usually the most productive approach; I never start NaPo without stacks of reference books scattered about, especially for things like wildflowers. "Blisterwort" and "sow-thistle" can do wonders for a poem.

[Angela]

Thank you all for stopping by and for the encouragement, Speug, kristalynn, M, 5th, Arlene, John and Howard. I am gonna work through this month. I won't give up.

10) for Steve

before you go, give me
sawdust from your hair-
burnished grain

[kristalynn]

I'm glad you didn't give up. I LOVE the last one.

[Angela]

Thank you, kristalynn. Fighting hard to get caught up and STAY that way, so I can get down to the fluffery!

11) Tuna salad

takes me back to the beach.
Don't spoil things by spooning
Miracle Whip, talking about
Mercury in the water or crunching
sand between your teeth.

[bop]

Angela,

Maybe 'Not Alice' but just as preternatural and strangely dreamy, especially S2.

'Love Spell' is another charming poem with unusual and beautiful images, I particularly liked

... and draw nectar from the bellies
of one hundred honey bees. ...

I like 'Doodle' It reminds me of when I used to chair team meetings. At the end of the meeting intead of keeping copious minutes I'd end up with a gallery of admittedly bad pen drawings! I like the way you show N almost absent mindedly doodling while taking part in some sort of discussion.

'Wild Flowers' is touching and I can almost see the delighted smile on her face. I also like the contrast between the ugliness of downtown and the apparent beauty of the wild flowers.

You've succeeded in writing an erotically charged poignant poem about aging with 'Disgusted'. It's also funny and sad at the same time.

In 'Tuna Salad' the last line had me cringing and smiling at the same time - how annoying some habits are! You seem to be on a roll, keep 'em rolling!

bop

[Angela]

Thank you for your thoughts, bop!

My husband called and said he just spent $400 on a gas powered trimmer. Damn it.

12) Hedge Fund

I lowered my trimmers
when my neighbor said:
Finally. I can barely see
your house nowadays.

[Emilio]

Angela, I loved the ingredients in Love Spell, and Disgusted is right on point with the tone and imagery. NaPo on!

Best,

[Angela]

Thank you so much, Emilio.

13) Fantasy

She must have swallowed a grain of ambergris;
her throat is so lovely. Sapphire satin framing
luminous skin. Her flaming tendrils purled into mist
that became the sea.

Foam spilled onto sand. The sea
became wine that drained into veins-
Fractured seams met and fused
into a lake of molten lava. Bubbling like a cauldron,
the whole vat tipped by a flick
of the axis, the pivot point
unconcerned for the risky business at hand.

The earth continued to spin at a dizzying pace,
but you wouldn't know it. The ash
rained down so softly.

[Angela]

14) Experiment No. 14: Sealed Terrarium Recipe

Take an old, hand-blown glass jug,
tinted coke-bottle green, embedded
with seed bubbles that catch the light

and line the pontil-scarred bottom
with tumbled pebbles and cobblestones
snitched from the shores of Lake Superior.
Layer a sprinkling of activated charcoal
(leftover from the kids' defunct fish tank
experiment) between several handfuls of earth.

Tuck reclaimed moss from the dark side
of the garden around a sprig of rooted ivy
or some other, like-minded, grasping plant
and pour in a cup of rainwater collected in a pickle
barrel to round out the ingredients.

Now, take a deep breath and seat the cork,
set the workings in a partly sunny corner
and pray this caged ecosphere
fends for itself.

[5th column]

Hi Angela, I'll be back for more and to extend this note to other poems but I just had to say - the first two lines of 'Fantasy' deserve so much more than the word 'lovely'. That's a whole poem right there waiting to get out, hung up on a single word. The image is so strong. That's a compliment, it may not sound like it but it's meant to

[beeswax]

Hello Angela. I enjoyed reading through your thread this morning and becoming a bit familiar with your voice. I like the variety. It feels experimental and that inspires me to be experimental two. I liked the emphatic tone of Doodle. For some reason it reminded me of writing poetry – those first ideas often scribbled quickly in a notebook in case they are lost. I also liked Kettle very much – a description ascribing great beauty and value to a prosaic object. I worship kitchenware too. Tuna Salad is great. Keep this up I would say.

[Angela]

Thank you for continuously supporting my efforts, 5th. This has proven to be a tough NaPo for me. I keep swimming because of encouragement like yours. I plan on returning the favor as soon as I can get caught up here!

Thank you so much, Beeswax. So happy you dropped over.

15) Death Wishes

I lost my temper and rushed outside, ending up
in the middle of a dandelion garden. I kicked the seed heads
furiously, setting countless death wishes flying.

My superstitious brain was hell bent
on mind fuckery and I suddenly wished
those wishes back.

But the breeze quickened and I watched my intentions drift
through the chain link, with regret
and bloodshed on my mind.