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Thread: Larry vs. Larry

  1. #76
    Join Date
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    22nd - Celebrity Deaths

    The famous die harder than us. That’s why
    we keep pieces of them in small bags in our storeroom

    and when the spigots of mourning squeal open
    we put them together again.

    Some years are so full of death
    that we barely know where to start.

    In our institution
    we teach them new skills –

    simple menial jobs, as their talents
    rarely survive. Few of them grasp

    their new status, yet all seem to share
    a dull sense of loss. We admit

    the limited scope of our program,
    yet we serve many high-paying customers,

    while the competition, in all honesty, does not.

  2. #77
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    Ooooh, like your perspective in this, Larry- the larger-than-life lifestyle and talents not carrying over, celebrities learning humility, to be human in the afterlife by learning menial jobs. Good stuff. Loved the zinger- reference to the completion- at the end.

  3. #78
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    Janet - much obliged.

  4. #79
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    23rd - To a Rival and Larry vs. Larry

    To a Rival

    Firm gatekeeper
    chest-deep the stream of words –
    you let no one unworthy pass.

    I’ve been covering up for so long,
    my heraldry features a man
    facing backwards with a mop in his hand.

    You were never at a loss for words,
    never had to unbolt your door
    and deliver a daughter to the crowd.

    Just don't call me friend.
    How much I owe you
    will be determined in a court of law.


    Larry vs. Larry

    A paper-cut bloodbath.
    Everyone’s tired
    of this Hundred Years’ Draw.

    I hired a whole gallery
    for my exhibition
    yet a thumbtack

    is enough.
    Last edited by larryrap; 04-23-2016 at 05:15 PM.

  5. #80
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    Hi, Larry,

    I keep going back to "So I'm Down" and "The White Flower". For me, those are the ones that are provoking more thoughts. (That's just me, other pieces are going to resonate more with others.) In "Down", it's these lines that caught me:

    Dedicated to the young man
    sent to knock down a nest

    who finally stepped off the ladder
    and told his girlfriend, “I can’t”.


    because sometimes "I can't" is the braver thing, and in "Flower", it's these lines:

    These stories are very old,
    but I like to believe they’re true.


    Both come at the end of the poem, which is a good thing because the end is what should set its hooks into the reader and reel them in.

    I also like that you're someone who is very connected to where you live and allow it to influence your work. That's probably true of a lot of us, but you seem to revel in it.

    Donner
    Moderator
    Let the poem do the talking. Then hide behind it.

    Get your copy of Try to Have Your Writing Make Sense - The Quintessential PFFA Anthology!

  6. #81
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    Thanks Donner,

    I'm always glad to write to your ears and eyes.

  7. #82
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    24th - It's Violence Today

    It’s violence today again,
    burnt rubber air,
    silence lit by fire.

    Prudently, my arms have been wrapped in storage
    sliced at the shoulder, zip-tied.
    They writhe and jerk when tempers rise.

    In a final spasm of acrimony, I become a tree:
    twigs scraping air,
    roots digging for sewage,

    leaves clacking in late April sun.
    When my cross-hatch adheres to you naked in bed
    you’ll be sorry.

  8. #83
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    Hello Larry.

    Celebrity Deaths took an original turn, imaging the celebs in the afterlife as the ordinary beings they really are in this one were it not for the fiction of celebrity.
    Larry Vs Larry I took to be a comment on the situation in the Middle East. Great reductionist image at the close.
    Violence Again contained original imagery and is, IMHO, a keeper.


    Almost there..........
    Resigned

  9. #84
    Arlene is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Sorry it took so long to read this brutally honest, fascinating thread. Plan B, The Retired Prophet Club, Small but Legible, Monday, The Bell, One Hundred Twenty, the birds one, the Palestinian children -- brilliant, angry poets...such precise imagery and structure and caged emotions. Entertaining and edifying.

  10. #85
    Dunc is offline but say it is my humour
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    Larry

    Two Problems — The last four lines of s1 are full of telling images, Meanwhile in S2, I'm a pessimist so all my dreams for a Life are tentative anyway.

    Reputation — Those last two lines are a great and rather mystical finish.

    How to Prepare — reminds me of Dean Swift's Modest Proposal, though your specifics are sharper for being more intimate.

    The White Flower — Hm. Can't think of any biblical kings and lilies, so I'm left to wonder.

    Roethke — nicely filled with image and inference and a certain humour in making the book so specific.

    No More Lies — No more [expletive deleted] lies. Yup.

    Celebrity Deaths — That's a vengeful little shot at pretenders. I feel cheered to read it.

    Larry vs Larry — Twenty-three words and the whole city's portrayed.

    Violence Today — A suitably violent poem, kickarse nasty.

    And we're into the home straight for another NaPo. Must order some more whiskies for the 30th.

    Regards / Dunc

  11. #86
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    Neil, Arlene, and Dunc,

    You guys are truly wonderful. Many many thanks.

    Neil - I kind of deliberately let the personal and political interchange. Larry vs. Larry is more about me.
    Arlene - I'm uplifted that you liked so much.
    Dunc - The king in white flower, I was thinking about some sort of god who finds sorrow useful.

  12. #87
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    25th - Lice: the Poems Speak

    We spring out of nothing, live on dirt.
    Driven, while knowing no lack.

    Like you: absurd bundles of muck and illusion,
    haunted, abundant, alive.

    Remember as you scramble for the comb,
    choose the poison to undo us,

    we will have much to say of our treatment
    next Spring when we rise.
    Last edited by larryrap; 04-27-2016 at 07:28 PM.

  13. #88
    DiggerTractor is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Hello Larry, just back for a few moments:

    I Used to Have a Reputaion

    I like how you capture the
    transitioning state of growing older. This line really caught my attention, because it happens and it's such a bizarre feeling:


    "regretting an impulse donation

    and then two days later I'll find myself not impulsively donating and then regretting THAT. Ha.



    How to Prepare Fresh Palestinian Children


    Wow, this one is freaking hard to read, want to talk about how you "used to have a reputation
    for crossing lines.” I don’t think you’re straddling lines on this one.

  14. #89
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    Hi Digger, thanks for dropping in again, I'm flattered.

  15. #90
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    26th - I Talk

    I toss broken beads
    at diminishing crowds.

    Like an uneasy tide
    I add and retract.

    Destiny slips
    like strings in the dark.

    Some syllables sync
    with God’s hidden vowels.

    I talk for two dollars
    for bus fare and pride.

    The vision goes on
    until the monkey stops typing.
    Last edited by larryrap; 04-26-2016 at 10:25 PM.

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