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Thread: Some Czerny for the Poetry Bump

  1. #1
    HowardM2 is offline The little guy behind the curtain
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    Some Czerny for the Poetry Bump



    Back in 2013, between January 1 and March 31, I wrote 90 lunes, one each day. I've decided this year
    I'm going to take up the lune again. The basic form, invented by Robert Kelly in the early 1960s as an
    alternative to the haiku, consists of 13 syllables arranged in 3 lines with 5/3/5 syllables as the pattern;
    unlike the haiku, there are no other requirements. If nothing else, they're fun exercises in concision
    and arrangement. They're also a continuation of the idea of "Small Songs," with the songs getting
    smaller as time goes by; there's probably something significant lurking in there somewhere, but I
    haven't a clue.

    * * *

    . . . . . Start with
    a map, a sheet
    . . . . . . .of paper

    Joseph Massey, from "The Span," ll. 1 - 3

    * * *

    Index:

    4/1: "lune xci"
    4/2: "lune xcii"
    4/3: "lune xciii"
    4/4: "lune xciv"
    4/5: "lune xcv"
    4/6: "lune xcvi"
    4/7: "lune xcvii"
    4/8: "lune xcviii"
    4/9: "lune xcix"
    4/10: "lune c"
    4/11: "lune ci"
    4/12: "lune cii"
    4/13: "lune ciii"
    4/14: "lune civ"
    4/15: "lune cv"
    4/16: "lune cvi"
    4/17: "lune cvii"
    4/18: "lune cviii"
    4/19: "lune cix"
    4/20: "lune cx"
    4/21: "lune cxi"
    4/22: "lune cxii"
    4/23: "lune cxiii"
    4/24: "lune cxiv"
    4/25: "lune cxv"
    4/26: "lune cxvi"
    4/27: "lune cxvii"
    4/28: "lune cxviii"
    4/29: "lune cxix"
    4/30: "lune cxx"
    Last edited by HowardM2; 04-30-2016 at 06:27 AM.
    "Poetry is not a code to be broken but a way of seeing with the eyes shut." -- Linda Pastan

  2. #2
    Arlene is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    uh oh.

  3. #3
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    Interesting challenge you've set yourself here. Looking forward to seeing the results.

  4. #4
    HowardM2 is offline The little guy behind the curtain
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    lune xci

    jessamine glimmers
    like fireflies,
    dim in old pine stands
    "Poetry is not a code to be broken but a way of seeing with the eyes shut." -- Linda Pastan

  5. #5
    avalanche is offline painted with...fists and elbows
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    Intriguing.
    Have you heard of barku ?
    Like haiku written in a bar.....
    wrings his feet

  6. #6
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    What brought me up and made the poem more than a concisely described image was the word 'dim' on which the poem turned into something more considered. Lovely. Have a great NaPo.
    Resigned

  7. #7
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    Hi Howard! Agree with 5th about that considered "dim." "Old pine stands" has defiance carved into them.

  8. #8
    merelynn is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Urgh, flashback to piano lessons.

    Happy NaPoMo!

  9. #9
    DiggerTractor is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    love the concept and the first poem. thanks for sharing.

  10. #10
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    I loved your Small Songs last year, so I know I am going to love your Lunes this year.

    I am picturing this as a still life with sparkle. So nice, Howard.

  11. #11
    Emilio is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Howard, as always, the imagery here is creative and beautiful, the sonics, yummy in the mouth

    Best,

  12. #12
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    Lovely start. Interesting contrast with 'glimmers' and 'dim' which are sonically the same, but opposite in meaning. 'old pine stands' is haunting.

  13. #13
    HowardM2 is offline The little guy behind the curtain
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    Thanks for your comments, everyone; I always appreciate your taking the time to read and comment. Several of you mentioned the "dim"; I'd been fiddling with versions of this for an hour or so before I hit on "dim," but when I did, I began to think that the piece was finally starting to do what I'd hoped it might. It still took a while longer, but that was the key; I'm delighted that it shows up.

    I'm running late tonight, so I'll spend tomorrow starting to catch up on comments myself. Thanks again for your time and thoughtfulness.
    "Poetry is not a code to be broken but a way of seeing with the eyes shut." -- Linda Pastan

  14. #14
    HowardM2 is offline The little guy behind the curtain
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    lune xcii

    weathered paint fractures
    to cupped flakes
    the past peers between
    "Poetry is not a code to be broken but a way of seeing with the eyes shut." -- Linda Pastan

  15. #15
    kristalynn is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    I really like this last one, the image it evokes, especially the last line.

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