Chicken's in the Crockpot (IFT)

[anenome]

Hi! Casualty got me, it's tragic when little deaths happen so close to home. I like Rain, the knowing being better than not and the wonderful last line, wishing you a good NaPo!

[Bench]

Dragonfly is lovely I can't look ​is killer, and the sentiment of Rain is universal. Good going...

[Speug]

Really liked ‘Once the world’ – I would maybe leave off the last line, though.

[Donner]

Hi, Andrea,

Oh, crap, I can't stand it when you try to save an animal or a bug and it doesn't turn out well. Except for spiders. The thing that makes the poem is N's uncertainty about the outcome of the dragon fly. He "may have been" crushed, but maybe not, but N can't look regardless because her imagination plays the ending out in her mind.

"Rain" is a great metaphor for not only getting caught in a shower, but getting something over with. You're off to your usual good start.

Donner

[Emily Bronte]

I'm really liking this so far Krystalynn.

You have a gentle melancholy music to your lines I really connect with.

"once the world" resonated with me most so far.

[kristalynn]

Thank you very much, anenome, Bench, Emily and Speug!

[kristalynn]

Phone Calls with Mom

Maybe I'll miss these phone calls most,
not the first part,
when she's going down her "grocery list"
of things she wants to tell me, things
she forgot to say before, but the times
when the conversation turns stupid
like when I say,
"I hope the Cavs win tonight,"
and she kids that I couldn't name
a player on the team
to save my life.

[Blythe]

Hi kristalynn - Doleful thread so far, but early April can be dirge-inspiring. A variety of imagery and situations here, some lovely turns into humor, especially in Phone Calls with Mom. Hopefully you don't have to say goodbye to those too soon, but taken with the other pieces, it has a dark cast to it. Good work on these first four, I look forward to seeing more.
B.

[5th column]

Hi Andrea, I really like Rain - the opening is a surprise, leading the reader to expect the clouds to have given way to sun when in fact they burst and the close is excellent. Singing in the rain. Terrific.
Phone Calls is a great snippet of the everyday we all experience with parents and somehow reminds me of the way those relationships change over time.

Nice thread.

Trot on

[M]

Definitely a thread to follow. I've enjoyed them all, particularly, Casualty and the way that it leaves me with a feeling of uncertainty as to the actual outcome. The phone call with your mother was touching as well.

[cookala]

heya kristalynn! really liking these first 4 - Phone Calls With Mom - really tugged at my heart. love the metaphor in Rain. Casualty - another heart tugger for me - I haopoen to love dragonflys, I've collected so many over the years but I never tire of watching them dart about. I think they are the coolest insects ever, well, maybe Praying Mantis, too. Once the World - small but packs a punch and a statement about the state of the earth, and what's coming if we don't wake up. good stuffs - enjoyed and looking forward to more.

[Emilio]

I have a fondness for Casualty, the emotion, how quickly the accident happened, how S2 captures the event well. If you get into greater detail in to the butterfly's appearance in S1, with maybe some choice figurative language, it would close the intimacy gap between reader and butterfly, and compound the S2 effect, I believe. Nice work!

Best,

[vmh]

Hi Kristalynn: I love the voice that comes through with Phone Calls With Mom. And the colloquial nature of the conversations.

Vicky

[JFN]

Andrea, Once the world is a beautiful metaphor for loss and grief. The image of still oceans is really strong.

Casualty it's funny in a sad way. My daughter likes to save spiders from the house, sometimes a little too enthusiastically. It would be interesting to see more of that magnified detail of the dragonfly at some point.

The options given at the end of Rain are great. Who wants unconvincing weather anyway. If it's going to rain then let it rain good.

Phone Calls... is sweet and honest. They do love those lists don't they!

I enjoyed reading these this morning. Let's have some more.

John

[Arlene]

"Phone Calls” aches, poor beautiful dragonfly, "Rain," perfect for spring, and still loving the stillness and sadness of Once...