And I was like, Emilio? Emilioooooooooooo!!

[cookala]

Emilio!! so good to read you again. I've enjoyed these first 3 muchly. They are so fresh, and filled with such wisdom! loving your imagery, too, and esp that carpet. what a novel way to show the love of a parent for their children. very nice. looking forward to more!

[Speug]

Liked the idea of the gate breathing people in and out; the doorknob knees is a clever bit of description.. The premise of ‘The Carpet’ is very nice.

[Jenlars]

Emilio, I looooovve the idea of the house messiness reflecting line life within the house in both the carpet and air purifier. Would that an air purifier could take the toxins out of a teenage ego. Have a great napo.

[JFN]

Emilio, I'm loving Gate, especially the breath of metal on hinge. You do well to seamlessly bring something that is intrinsically cold and lifeless round to something much hotter and full of life. Really like knees the size of doorknobs too.

I can definitely associate with Carpet. It's the reason we have wooden floors downstairs, although the sofa is suffering. I particularly liked S2 and S3 because it reveals a little more of the family relationships.

I like the idea of all those trapped sounds in Air Purifier, and liked I would halve all teenaged egos with a cup and Peace is the weight of my son’s notebook / holding him into college.

There's a lot to like in these. Looking forward to more.

John

[Emilio]

Cookie, it's good to see you again, and thank you for your kind words! I'm glad you enjoyed Carpet, that turned out to be my surprise poem so far. Thanks for dropping by! Speug, I liked Gate too, it was fun to let my inner voyeur do a little writing Jenlars, you are very kind to drop by, I'm happy you loved the poems! John, you hit on the very things I liked about them too, thank you for taking the time to read them!

Thank you all again for dropping by, I'll be checking out your threads hopefully sometime today, and Happy NaPoing!



4. Tree


The cherry tree, by the parking lot,
gets on with doing its work of trees.

Within its many rooms, I find a door
named Pleasure. Here, I can listen
for the sound of leaves feeding
upon the sunlight, and for the shine
it brings upon the cherries.

In the room, where there’s Relief,
I hear a whistle, as the tree blows air
through its own leaves to cool itself.

Behind one door, named Compassion,
I hear the terror of squirrels coming
to the clouds, their climbing nails
forging steps of the boughs.

And in the solitary room
next to the car alarm, Sadness,
as the work of these trees is always
with pressure, to drop one cherry
into every lonely mouth.

[PClem]

Emilio - I just love these. Carpet has taken on its own life. And Air Purifier, I think is a riff off Li-Young Lee's Pillow? I envy you that, I have been wanting to do the same for years. And yours is so very beautiful and all yours. However, I think you have inspired me to find a way to another poem I've been looking for. Thank you!

[Janet]

Your poems are gifts- they mirror your deep compassion. They inspire me too. I'm a big fan of Gate- the descriptives and sexual correlation are terrific. I enjoyed Carpet so much as well. Your poem reframed the "problem" in a memorably fresh manner. I have a eleven year-old...similar life-strokes, so thanks for that!

[kristalynn]

Gate is my favorite, lots of great images in there like the knees as doorknobs, breath of metal, the apartment keeping count of itself. I also like Carpet and Air Purifier. I can really relate to the last stanza of Carpet.

[Emilio]

PC, Yes, I have found a source of inspiration, but I think my ideas are running dry already. I wanted to do seven days of Sounds in Which My Apartment Speaks, but I'm at a loss for ideas for the next two days, so I think I'll come back later this month if something comes to me. I'm glad you're into these, PC! Janet, I'm glad you enjoyed Gate and Carpet, it was fun writing them, and thank you so much for your kind words! Kristalynn, I'm glad you enjoyed the images, thank you so much for dropping by!



5 . Faucet


Sometimes it pours out,
the scream, the band aid for
the cut finger,
a tunnel of tub bubbles
and its train whistle.

If I listen hard enough,
when the hot water runs,
I hear the chill in mother’s voice
freezing my hand to the lid
of the cookie jar.

Childhood
is the language of father’s belt
telling the story at bedtime.

And still it pours,
the dinners of Lucky Charms,
tears on a teddy bear, lost Legos.

Everything but solace.

And closure starts
with the next drowning
of hops and barley,
their seductive fields
taking a lifetime to dry.

[Emilio]

Okay, so, my thought was to do seven days of The Sounds in Which My Apartment Speaks, but my brain isn't working any further on it right now, so I'll try to help it along and revisit this later in the month. Now, let's build a ghazal, seven couplets for seven days. And today is a special day, this is my 1600th post with PFFA!


6.

I vowed I would never fight myself into a fuck on a mountain.
I became that cowboy with a cowboy in a tent on the mountain.

[beeswax]

Emilio! How nice to encounter you here again. I am so behind – because I joined the party late. So forgive me for not much detail here. I’ve read you up to date and enjoyed your contributions up to date.


Faucet is harrowing. You’ve struck the right tone for such an account. Just the facts – no editorializing.

I loved each of the preceding poems – Carpet, Air Conditioner, Gate and Tree. Each was engrossing -- I think because you write so honestly about personal experience and manage to infuse the mundane with a kind of magic – the overarching theme is the glue that holds families together, I think -- not that you allude to that but the text is so rich in detail and the writer’s emotional life and attachment comes across very strongly. Looking forward to more as the month races by.

[Featherless Biped]

Well, I love what you have of the theme, and it will be there for you if and when you decide to pick it back up.

The opening couplet of "Carpet" is killer. (Try saying that five times fast.) I love the idea that the carpet was already secretly dirty. And the way every stain tells a different story. And the synesthesia at the end.

I love the idea of the air purifier eating and spitting out different sounds. I think I get the inspiration here--you can hear anything in a repetitive hum if you listen for long enough.

I like that most of the doors in the tree are happy doors: Pleasure, Relief, Compassion, and then that little tart taste of Sadness right at the end. Mostly-happy poems are rarer than mostly-sad ones, probably because putting a happy face on it can seem false and forced. Yours doesn't, though; it seems organic.

"The father's belt/ telling the story at bedtime" is one of the saddest things I have read in a poem this month.

With the ghazal, you play to your strengths. I love the ambiguous cowboy tent. (I take it that's the result of a vow of celibacy? Male bodies are so strange and fascinating.)

[Arlene]

Carpet is a beauty as is Air Purifier, the final couplet, whew. Faucet hurts.

[Emilio]

Bees, I'm really happy you were able to get into NaPo this year, and don't worry about being behind, the party never stops! And thanks for dropping by and reading up on my posts. To be honest, I didn't realize I put so much of my personal life in the poems, until you pointed it out. But you're right, it's there, and a lot. In the past, I've never done that in my poetry. Hmmm, self-reflecting time! Thank you so much for your kind words though, and happy NaPo! Featherless, I'm glad you enjoyed Carpet, that poem surprised me as everyone seems to like it. And thank you for your feedback with Air Purifier and Trees, as you are spot on with where I was coming from. And father's belt telling the story at bedtime, haunts me every time I look at it. I like it for the metaphor but I don't like what it says. And you're right, it is sad. So, time for happier metaphors! Here's my attempt at a pastoral, and thank you so much for dropping by, Featherless!



7.

Sunset makes a knife of the ridgeline, to turn day into night; it
cuts the sky at its seams with the serrated edge of the mountain.

[5th column]

Hi Emilio, I'm not sure if these couplets are following a syllable count but if not then I'd suggest dropping 'of the mountain.' from this last. It takes away from the image of the ridge and may be redundant, also on that basis (ridge suggests mountain or at least very large hill ) I loved the seams - very good.