Seven, Six or Even Less

[JFN]

Sorella (and Jee, and Neil), the double haiku really made me grin. Great fun.


I like the wry humour in My Live Commissions.... That's a sure sign of dedication on those dark winding lightless rainy roads (I've driven quite of few of those in the UK). Hope they made it.


John

[scraps]

Oh, I really like this one - those daily death defying rituals we partake in without thought - the love between partners expressed in the simplest of gestures and often without thought, too. There is a lot of depth in this one, I feel.

[GreaterMandalaofUselessness]

Hey Sorella,

#4 takes found poetry to new extremes and it's a very environmentally-friendly approach, using only locally sourced materials

#5 here it seems to be the habit that the N's touched by. Not that he chose to ring her despite the danger, but that he did it habitually. Or perhaps that the habit overrode the sense of danger...? Either way, don't give him this poem. It's not something to encourage! Not just for his sake, but think about the poor blind people ...

Matt

[5th column]

My Love Commissions - pls tell me it wasn’t by text....

That’s a cracker. “so to speak, and you replying out of habit” is lovely. Maybe consider removing the “that”? It adds a layer of complexity to the line by its deletion

[Sorella]

Sarah, Steve, John, Matt, Neil -- Thank you very much for appreciation and safety concerns and warnings plus suggestions -- all very welcome!
He melted, but not away like the Baker before a Snark or Boojum, luckily.

Been lovely doing Sevens here as always, much to inspire and learn from.

Sorella -- 5 poems out of 7 aint bad by my low standards.

[Jee Leong]

Dear Sorella, you fulfilled your commission beautifully. To return home to one's love at the end of long day (or drive) is a blessing.