Béla's Who Am I Kidding Thread (now Image-Friendly!)

[Bela]

Matt, many thanks for the thorough reads and comments!

[Bela]

April 7


Under the weather

once a welcome turn, somehow.
Damn, grr, hit send and sink
in a bubble bath of fever
broken by the wayward fuzzy pfft.

A day's delay at JFK? Damn, grr,
move when bedsores plant their flags,
revel in that cramped parabola,
a broken radio, smog free stars,
pure vacuum
sighted if and when I'd deign
unscrunch my lids.

No glare or flare or jarring lance
to pop my beige balloon's thin hide,
those modest holidays

ruined, now
under the weather's turned.

[Bela]

My thread was looking a little drab and sad, like the interior of my cranium, so to spice it up it is Now Image-Friendly! Bring 'em on!


April 8


Paper

I used to print these things
and clip them to the fridge to set awhile.
They'd hook my eye
when I groped for the cheese or the sentient pesto.
I'd skim and swell or tweak a tweak
and float a spell above the drab.

But the printer's on the fritz. It's
sat kaput for years. Not
on the fritz, exactly. I
can't seem to find the will to
order ink.

It's still plugged in. It's
sucking power.

Every now and then it wakes and puts out feelers,
rumbles, squeaks then whines itself to sleep,
the needy bastard, shut the fuck up.

That's a big investment, ink.
It's seeing where my system feeds,
almost color, almost heat.

The fridge is low on paper.
Time to shop.

[Dunc]

Bela

Rescue Dog ─ aww! (pat, pat). I love dogs.

from a lesson that the red, oops, tax-exempt are dead and the don't-knows are blue, as the charts, graphs, and notes on p.413 will make clear with a perfectly straight face. Yes, it sounds familiar.

Under the weather in the time that put 'modest' into holidays; that's a brilliant trans-Atlantic flight too, pure vacuum out the window like in the Concorde days.

Paper and the way the ink dries out because, well, how often does one print and what is eBay for and I can't read the numbers on this discount cartridge. 'The fridge is low on paper' is a glorious line in situ.

Fine reading!

Regards / Dunc

[Bela]

Many thanks, Dunc! A bit of a foray into journal entries, I know, but oh well. I'm trying to distill upcoming drafts into something with a bit more kick. Really appreciate you taking the time.
Béla

[Scrow]

Hi Bela,

I really like 'Paper'. It speaks to me of lots of complex things; the increasing disembodiedness of our worlds, the chains we set in motion when we buy hardware, which relate to ideas of power/productivity/sustainability on an individual and macro level - this, your poem brings out beautifully. I also like the idea of sustenance not simply being food, but being ideas and the physical writing of those ideas.

The ‘algorithmic ghouls’ in your first are great too. I worry so much about the complex algorithm (as part of my tiny and multi-hatted work I have to work with data methods which are designed for big/huge data, but because of our scale I have to apply them to a handful of people - I use tableau to present data around 90 people - because if I’m doing this we retain a voice in the damn wider conversation). And I worry about how the algorithm makes us think as a society - it changes our spaces. There needs to be a critical narrative around it so much. Excerpt from a lesson reads as just such a critical narrative for me - a counter-voice. Thank-you!

The starting lines of ‘Word from my father’:

so seeds still patter, pock the snow at wingtip gusts.

- these are beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I wish I could bottle them like smelling salts.


Sarah

[Bela]

Thank you so much for your readings, Sarah. You're teasing out all sorts of interesting things from what I imagine must be my subconscious, given that these sporadic pomey exudations tend to emerge with my eyes more or less half-closed. Really appreciate you taking the time to engage at this level.

Béla

[lauriene]

Paper reminds me of how I gave up on having a printer years ago, mostly for the same reasons you outline. I now either email it to the print place or bug friends with printers to print stuff for me on the rare occasion I need something printed.
It also reminded me that I'm hungry. Good morning!

[kristalynn]

Enjoyed Paper! Fun image of the printer waking up and putting out its feelers.

[Bela]

lauriene, kristalynn, many thanks for dropping by and for your comments!

Béla

[Bela]

April 9


Réunion, 2023

I deliberately snip
the beard to order,
bat down the hair. I
slide into the loose skin
of shirt and tie. I
am planted
at the screen.

My colleagues
swell encrypted frames,
stills of coffee
urns and suits.

Words cascade
when I click them to life.
how are you holding up
hanging in there
not dead yet
the last strain
gabbles the dovecote
cloistered here
at the world's edge.

We sealed the island
in time, I chime in
on my cue. I
mime a smug swig
then hit pause
and rewind.

On my cue I chime in:
we sealed the island
in time.

[Bela]

April 10


Song of burlap, song of

Now masks have claimed their place in vogue, the choice
of fabric tops the list of key concerns.
What would it say, how is it judged when lips
are blocked by barathea, eisengarn,
ballistic nylon, bombazine, or frieze?
What zingers will I send with zibeline,
or poplin, qalamkari, organdy,
mockado, mungo, tarlatan or
Will worsted fabric, nainsook......In Rio
jamdani or a huckaback.............de Janeiro
with gossamer and grogram.......Brazil, the first victim
for dowlas, coir.........................of the coronavirus
But chintz................................was a sixty-three-year-old house cleaner
while aramid............................who was infected after her
If imberline..............................employer came back from Italy and refused
no yama..................................to self-isolate. The employer is well,
or kala....................................while her maid, who suffered from diabetes
when terahvin..........................and other health issues
Though chrysolite and camphor..but could not afford
if kittel, tallit, antam sanskar......to miss work, died
with casket spray, hypogea........shortly after showing symptoms.
in lieu of flowers
they're wearing at the columbarium?

[Gabrielle]

Bela,
Under the weather is excellent. Both colloquial 'Grrr' and elevated 'cramped parabola' I really like the last line.
Paper is a bit of a mystery. I love the vampiric printer and 'sentient pesto', but what are these things that you would print. Words? Images? On second read, I'm putting my wager on poems.
Song of Burlap floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. Really ambitious, beautiful and effective. I had to goolge columbarium... and well quite a lot of the words, but the contrast of the maids story elucidated the theme well enough. I love all the fabrics. This obsession with fashion a material distraction from ones own death... some people still don't get it.

[Bela]

Hey Gabrielle! Many thanks for the reads and the visit. Another bit of doggerel coming right up!

[Bela]

April 11


Gilbert knows

when he scrunches his paws
into the space between my neck
and the sofa back

and burrows his whiskers
into my cheek where I lay
ill and weak and desperate

that I will blow raspberries
in his fur and laugh aloud
in spite of myself

while he stares into the middle distance.
I do not know who this is for
but Gilbert knows.
.
.
.