Faulted Outlier

[Gabrielle]

Scrow, wow, Superficial Deposits is gorgeous. I feel totally immersed in this sensuous and idyllic scene with the couple. '- fractures/ in the ground like shrines' is an exquisite line.
Crawling Around my Garden is another sensuous delight... though at first I got horror vibes... 'neck' 'patch of shadow' 'irregular sound' and why else would one be crawling around the garden with closed eyes except if one were hiding/escaping from a homicidal maniac!? Ha, only me? Anyway, such gorgeous and rich descriptions 'apple wings' 'feather hair,' 'drooping ears of quince' so delicious!
Dealing with the Region is built incredibly well. The details of that way of living with nature are interesting in themselves. But he last 5 lines are chilling and rich. What we understand, or think we understand, as children, can have a different meaning entirely. So clever and emotionally evocative.

[Scrow]

Drumpf, Kirsty and Gabrielle,

Thank-you so much for visiting and commenting - and it really is appreciated. I find managing the balance between writing at intensity and managing life really hard, and I'm only just learning when to draw back to preserve my sanity.

Gabrielle - Love your reading of Crawling! I was, indeed, crawling around the garden. I posted a psychogeog challenge in 'Challenges' - this was my response. Your reading is much more interesting, though and thank-you so much for sharing this!

Kirsty - thank-you so much. You're getting what I wanted people to read, and thank-you so much for your careful, informed, sensitive reading.

Drumpf - I agree, it's all too long. I really do, and it's time to go short (or at least shorter).

Onwards!

(New micro-theme - blend herbals, embodied garden-knowledge and digital tech - I got 'stuck' in 'crawling' with Summer Savory and I hate getting stuck)

[Scrow]

Summer Savory

To blunt the sting of waspish texts.

Summer Savory, lemon-spiced,
softer than Rosemary, your green
leaf-spears glow with oil.

Mercury claims dominion over this herb.

[alondra]

Hi Sarah

I like your geologist, and his struggle to find his rocky niche amid peers of a more conventional bent who are uncaring about caves and fossils. Hope the girl he met turns out to be a fellow-adventurer! ….Have you read The Ice Limit, by (I think Robert) Preston and Lincoln Child? I think you´d enjoy it!

[Bench]

Gosh Sarah! Look, I couldn’t even scratch out a chicken ditty today, mercurial (ahem) it seems my muse, but your pieces feel whole. An author on the radio the other day described his writing process similar to fighting through a fog of the unknown, but just occasionally, he got a glimpse of the landscape ahead. I suspect any consternation with your story is not the lack of options, but their proliferation. I’m confident which ever path you choose it’ll work.
Regarding the sex in Superficial Deposits it seemed suitably subtle after the first read, but expanding the word meanings, including the title —
doused wet with spray by the white spout -made me snigger- is this too far perhaps or am I terminally puerile? I get that doused is a threaded word with her story but it’s only a niche actuality in sex-the movie equivalent is being ectoplasmed by Slimer. Other than that it was a delight to read. It was at the resistance and give of the heather I realised the narrative had more story than first apparent. Very neatly done.
Dealing... Region, is quite lovely, nain is wonderfully drawn. Felt like blank verse the way it sings.
Twisted- rich language, really good, surprising end, that he rescues our heroine, given his past form.
Early workers- I dwelt on the almost throw away line ‘the women laugh and hide their children’. There is so much to unpick here, yet it’s still edged with the characteristic humour your voice conveys throughout this stunningly shot costume drama.
Numerous Breaks- in a strange language with no motion to it- is among many highlights. I can hear guns in the distance. at the moment, I’m worried everyone dies, but I’m looking forward to the fireworks.
Sarah, this is a joy to read. Back soon.

[Scrow]

Lark and Bench - thank-you.

Ben, I had no idea about the niche actuality, but was aware I was verging close to parody - love the careful way you describe White Spout through metaphor though. I probably need to dial that one down a bit. I did enjoy writing it, though. Not in that way. And when I was doing the 'crawling around the garden' thing there were things I left out that after writing the deposits one Just. Couldn't. Be. Shared. Eek. Once you get all double-entendre with nature it just keeps on being puerile.

I've moved on for the second half of this NaPo. I am a wuss. But (this sounds awfully 'poety-poety' bleeding heart) but if I'm not going to get written out tired and risk stopping writing again for ages, I need to lighten up and dial it down. I would like to be around for the next five years if at all possible if just to irritate you all.

Sideways!

Sarah

[Scrow]

Use it to expel pensiveness, an antidote for browsing screens at midnight.

Cobalt star-flower. Smells
of cucumber. Small
hairs fur each pointed leaf.

a licking electuary
found by the ditch-side.
herb of Jupiter, under Leo

[5th column]

Oh, ‘Summer Savoury has the mouth salivating over its gorgeous sonics. The softness of the sounds and the idea of summer being spiced with lemon is exceptional. Greats short poem. Borage! More of the same. These poems are a delight for the tongue.

[Dunc]

Sarah

Numerous breaks Goodness, a Sheela na gig! (modestly looks away). how can I have come this far in life and not encountered tump? My gratitude for the amending. And marked as The Place of the Bonk! Love it! I also love your cascade of manticores, vikings, and fault-lines, but you knew that. " links, / like filaments, between different words, / and colours them, to make this easier to understand" is a true note. The last section is strong and balancing. What will happen?

Soothing herbal ─ Waspish texts? In NaPo? No, say it isn't so! Sensual, careful recipe.

Borage ─ if it's the antidote for late browsing, I'm already immune alas. Even to such a wonder as a licking electuary.

A feast of the right words in the right order.

Regards / Dunc

[Jee Leong]

"Numerous breaks" is as full of good stuff as Kilpeck church. That church door is truly wonderful. The tone of the poem is steady, unhurried, but the accumulation of detail is intense, in a very good way. "Summer Savory" and "Borage" provide a good break from that intensity.

[Scrow]

Thank-you so much, all

Neil - I don't feel so stupid giving up on the hard things now - you're lovely.

Dunc - So surprised that you hadn't encountered 'tump'. It's the go-to-default word for any kind of bumpy hillside where I live. So happy I introduced, though. Dare you to use it in one of your poems. And thank-you for your unfailing kindness.

Jee - Thank-you. Your work this month is extraordinary, and I very much appreciate you stopping by - and particularly that you commented on the 'numerous breaks' which just wrote me out. The church is extraordinary, and the land around there is pure red sandstone. I am enjoying writing the herbal things far more.

Onwards!

[Scrow]

Windflower

dispels malicious rumours caused by fake news

Six pale, pointed petals like pincers.
Solitary, separate, sharp
scented like sorrel or fox.

Sown in the gardens of the curious,
it procureth much spitting. It sits
under the dominion of Mars.

Bonus slightly odd soundscape of woods.*

*this isn't great in terms of sound quality, but it is part of this poem.

[larryrap]

Sarah,

I'm so spellbound by the poems that I'm forced to consider whether you're a geologist slumming as sorceress or the other way round. The short ones have their very precise magic, but the long ones are shockingly good. You've vanquished this April so thoroughly, you can just have fun until the 30th with no harm done.

[Barbara Jean]

I am catching up with your lovely offerings.

Crawling around the garden with my eyes shut - a good poem to me puts the reader inside the experience. This is like an explanation/satisfaction of that. Loved the furry wings/leafy underskirt and entire experience.

Dealing with the region in a charming and interesting manner - is lyrical in the way I love. Lyricism and elements of mysticism- loved it. One of my favs.

Twisted thread like—-enjoyed immensely. I wonder if that last line could be compressed to “ and breathes her home”.

I see you switched things up more with your cures. Will be back. It is a great idea of poem healers. Great thread.

[Scrow]

Thank-you so much, Larry and Barbara Jean, for reading.

Larry, your comment makes me go 'eek' because you're a fantastic poet. But also it's NaPo so hey, I can cope with a pinch of salt, but I'm also so glad you think the long ones work. I never know (I really don't) and thought they might be a bit dull. I am now enjoying, although tonight's is medium length, but mostly because I was dismayed to find that the bluebell had no entry in Culpepper, which was a bit throwing off course!

Barbara Jean - thank-you so much, and I think I will have lots to revisit in revisions, and thank-you for the suggestion! I worry about writing lyrical in a world of urban hard/image non/lyrical but I think that the rural still holds a valuable space in so many conversations. Maybe.

thanks again both,

Sarah