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Thread: With Orbs Of Uncertain Gaze (IFT)

  1. #76
    Dunc is offline but say it is my humour
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    Gefof

    Iguana Non Grata and ruler of all he surveyed ─ that's a LOT of lizard. One wonders if a lizard's fall is a sign of age or illness but sad it was the end. Thanks for the story and the pix.

    Smell of Burning Fiddles presents you as the arch-survivor, the man competent by nature in any situation. Maybe you'll find out soon enough how well philosophy pays in the right hands.

    Under a Candid Sky or Fun in Acapulco and / or Ibiza. Memories are made of things such as you present so clearly, the cast, the script, the performance, and our applause,

    It's Never Enough ─ Oy, bit o' respect for us fluffers, mate! Though as you point out, it has verbs and no lack of adjectives.

    Keep enjoying your foreign parts and writing them up!

    Regards / Dunc

  2. #77
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    Hi Geoff the perennial pilgrim of the far and exotic. Your buoyant energy is addictive, and it's always good to come here for a boost.
    Love the title and its use in the charmingly creepy eponymous poem.
    Visions of Galileo creates a quiet sense of awe and connection with the simplest, most shareable means.
    S1 of Dusk is near-perfect, a mix of epicurean menace and promise with strong image-strokes, like the burning neon zippers.
    Boo-hoo for being stuck in paradise! Sounds awful, I feel for you.
    Hos much do philosophers make? Apparently in the millions, perhaps billions!
    hormones, alcohol, coke and desire - where's the downside?

    Great fun to read, and poetic calories will be consumed with pleasure, don't be shy about it.

  3. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by larryrap View Post
    Hi Geoff the perennial pilgrim of the far and exotic. Your buoyant energy is addictive, and it's always good to come here for a boost.
    Love the title and its use in the charmingly creepy eponymous poem.
    Visions of Galileo creates a quiet sense of awe and connection with the simplest, most shareable means.
    S1 of Dusk is near-perfect, a mix of epicurean menace and promise with strong image-strokes, like the burning neon zippers.
    Boo-hoo for being stuck in paradise! Sounds awful, I feel for you.
    Hos much do philosophers make? Apparently in the millions, perhaps billions!
    hormones, alcohol, coke and desire - where's the downside?

    Great fun to read, and poetic calories will be consumed with pleasure, don't be shy about it.
    Thanks Larry, I enjoyed your comments a lot!
    Glad you stopped by and found something to like.
    I have had a few days recovering from a broken tooth and the dental procedures
    necessary to remedy it. Crown goes on next week, so I can get back to writing again now.
    all the best
    Gffoe

  4. #79
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    11. Deadly Ice

    11. Deadly Ice

    I do not wish them ill, these men
    Who descend with picks and shovels to rip
    At Gaia’s entrails, to extract a bauble
    Or two. They follow the serpentine strand
    of kimberlite down, down into the lowest reaches
    clawing at the pressure set clay. Infested
    it is, in places, with the hardest bits of carbon
    squeezed into transparency, if cut, brilliant,
    dazzling, alluring stones to drive a woman mad,
    a man to risk his life three thousand metres below,
    or to kill, steal, smuggle them in their flesh, to sell.

    What value is a bounty acquired like this, by such means?
    These blood diamonds fascinate, seduce and corrupt
    Even the sincerest hearts, but leave such parts
    Shredded by 9mm and machetes. It starts
    With a lust for light of coruscating effect
    And ends with tragedy, lives destroyed, even death.
    I do not blame these men who dig and toil way down
    Beneath the surface, who only want to keep their families fed,
    I merely wish the treasures they unearth were equal to the dead.

    Last edited by prokopton; 04-17-2020 at 05:01 PM.

  5. #80
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    12. Graveyard Shift

    12. Graveyard Shift

    I have seen them coming at break of day
    from the depths wherein they earn their pay,
    a motley crew, all soiled, covered in dirt,
    with open, undead eyes, not a one alert.

    Conditions below, stifling, dark, unclean, are far from best
    but wearied now, they have no strength for protest.
    Like their will, their backs are broke, they homeward tread
    to wash, eat, sleep. They kiss their brood, then fall dead.

    All day they sleep, their bodies try to heal
    and in the e’en they rise again to steal
    a moment of comfort before they drift
    back to the mine and to work, descend in the lift.

    All night they toil in the stygian depths below, they must
    endure the heat, the stultifying labour, the choking dust,
    and for what? A paycheque, something to take away the pain,
    for a moment, before they go down to do it all again?

    Last edited by prokopton; 04-30-2020 at 06:49 PM.

  6. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dunc View Post
    Gefof

    Iguana Non Grata and ruler of all he surveyed ─ that's a LOT of lizard. One wonders if a lizard's fall is a sign of age or illness but sad it was the end. Thanks for the story and the pix.

    Smell of Burning Fiddles presents you as the arch-survivor, the man competent by nature in any situation. Maybe you'll find out soon enough how well philosophy pays in the right hands.

    Under a Candid Sky or Fun in Acapulco and / or Ibiza. Memories are made of things such as you present so clearly, the cast, the script, the performance, and our applause,

    It's Never Enough ─ Oy, bit o' respect for us fluffers, mate! Though as you point out, it has verbs and no lack of adjectives.

    Keep enjoying your foreign parts and writing them up!

    Regards / Dunc
    Calloo! Callay! Oh, frabjous day!
    Dunc is here. Good to have you visit,

    glad to hear your thoughts, to revel in your fluff!
    I only hope my humble scribblings, my pomes
    are worthy, you know, up to snuff!
    I'll scratch out another, give me just a minute!
    Oh Brave New World! that has such critters in it!

    blessings!
    Gffoe

  7. #82
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    13. Short Ode to Dunc

    So, that’s a Clerihew! So underrated!
    Well found, from one so venerated,
    Dunc, as you, 4 lines, two-rhyming couplets
    On a Don, who knew? Not yet writ, but let’s.

  8. #83
    Sorella is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    effGo,
    You have been busy and done great stuff since my last visit, culminating in the excellent Ode to Dunc!
    Serious poems -- the two recent about mining especially -- and fun ditties like the hilarious Never Enough stand out for me. Reading backwards today and coming back for the rest soon. Stay where you are and pretend it's all voluntary!

    And for what? A paycheque, something to take away the pain,
    For a moment, before they go down to do it all again?

    Great work as always.
    Sorella

  9. #84
    Dunc is offline but say it is my humour
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    oGffe

    I can hardly crit a poem about myself (however much I might secretly approve of it) ─ the stewards'd be down on me like a containerfull of concrete.

    Suffice to say, keep 'em coming!

    Regards / Dunc

  10. #85
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    Geoff, last night I watched The Crown episode about the coal mining disaster at Aberfan. It was quite moving, but still it was more about the Queen's reaction than about the people's. Your poem "Graveyard Shift" gives the necessary and powerful corrective.

  11. #86
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    Hi Geoff,

    These last two form an effective pair.

    Deadly Ice, I particularly like the descriptive first stanza: "They follow the serpentine strand / of kimberlite down, down into the lowest reaches / clawing at the pressure set clay.". The lowest reaches suggests a visit to hell. The refrain-like repetition "I do not wish them ill ... I do not blame these men" is very effective, and the closing couplet is strong.

    The Graveyard Shift had me thinking (appropriately enough) of zombies in the first stanza: those "open, undead eyes". This poem captures the unrelenting and gruelling grind of this work, the "the heat, the stultifying labour, the choking dust", punctuated only "for a moment".

    Into the final third we go, digging deep ...

    Matt
    moderator

  12. #87
    Sorella is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Goeff

    Reading backwards, I had to love the Iguana Non Grata! Elvis -- wonderful name.

    they may even re-name it Graceland.

    Heh!

    Andreas and Miranda
    rock so hard, the photo makes me looong for the right lights in the time of isolation!

    But that’s not what Ibiza is all about; you go there
    for a good time, not a long time, definitely not for good!


    Please hurry back to the grindstone on PFFA!

    Sorella

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sorella View Post
    Goeff

    Reading backwards, I had to love the Iguana Non Grata! Elvis -- wonderful name.

    they may even re-name it Graceland.

    Heh!

    Andreas and Miranda
    rock so hard, the photo makes me looong for the right lights in the time of isolation!

    But that’s not what Ibiza is all about; you go there
    for a good time, not a long time, definitely not for good!


    Please hurry back to the grindstone on PFFA!

    Sorella
    Thanks Sorella, for your continued visits, most encouraging!
    We have had a few occurrences here, in Cancun
    and I have had a dental emergency - a broken bicuspid
    needing a crown, so I had a hiatus from writing.
    Tooth pain makes concentration a wee bit more difficult!

    So, you liked the ten pound iguana, Fat Elvis, and the Ibiza nightlife?
    Good, me too. They were fun to write. It's all true, I don't make this stuff up!
    I mean, I do, of course, but it's still true, about Elvis and Ibiza.

    Anyway, more coming. I vow to finish. I still have to find that special way of seeing.

    cheers,
    G.
    Last edited by prokopton; 04-30-2020 at 06:52 PM.

  14. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dunc View Post
    oGffe

    I can hardly crit a poem about myself (however much I might secretly approve of it) ─ the stewards'd be down on me like a containerfull of concrete.

    Suffice to say, keep 'em coming!

    Regards / Dunc
    Hey Dunc-eroo!
    You deserve an ode
    a small ode anyway.
    You inspired me with the clerihew
    of which I had not heard afore.
    Or If I had heard it before, I thought it
    some kind of herbivore!

    heh.

    G.

  15. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jee Leong View Post
    Geoff, last night I watched The Crown episode about the coal mining disaster at Aberfan. It was quite moving, but still it was more about the Queen's reaction than about the people's. Your poem "Graveyard Shift" gives the necessary and powerful corrective.
    Wow. Jee Leong. Thank you, kind words indeed.
    I am relevant, all of a sudden, I feel proud.
    I too, have read of mining disasters and just now
    I had the inspiration to write about it.
    Funny what NaPo does to you, isn't it?

    cheers
    G.
    Last edited by prokopton; 04-21-2020 at 10:52 PM.

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