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cut-price Tiresias
Hi Dannymo,
Lovely to e-meet you, and I'm enjoying reading your thread very much (for context, I frequently 'do' sevens but am too busy this week).
The language choices in your insect poems are just the right balance of enthrallingly almost-horrible, almost-beautiful. I enjoyed the ekphrastic very much - the sense of entering into the picture worked for me - and 'Yew' was beautifully drawn (I think that's my favourite so far).
Enjoy the rest of the week!
Sarah
but say it is my humour
danny
It's not the overalls or the baldilocks, it's the bloody noise of the strimmer, innit.
Serve the rascal right!
(I think the last time I ate snails was last century.)
Cheerful and deft.
Regards / Dunc
Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
"Pysanka" and "Poetic Justice" both work well.
The sentiment and handling of the narrative in "Pysanka" make it a favorite.
"Poetic Justice" is a piece going after an easy target, clearly tongue-in-cheek.
BrianIsAtYou
I think I think, therefore I might be.
Spasmodic Hercules on cyclobenzaprine
Ha, I think the implied formula of wishing a careless worker to be reincarnated as garden escargot was quite funny.
I'm wondering if joke could be set up more efficient in S2. It seems to be set up as a "joke of three": The worker scars the trees (bad), clears the nettles (good), slays the bluebells (bad). Typically this joke has two constructions: good, good, bad (e.g. "Think of all the famous people who started as NBC pages: Steve Allen, Regis Philbin, Ted Bundy....) or bad, bad, good (e.g. he was charged with arson, murder, and jaywalking).
Breaking the pattern of the first two items with the third creates the humor. Consider condensing and rearranging S2 to highlight how he only occasionally does his job.
Thanks for grossing me out!
Jo
fringe class
Dan,
I thought your Poetic Justice was a hoot! I can picture it all perfectly and even hear the string trimmer. I can even taste the - well, no I don't think I'll do that.
Great stuff!
Steve
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