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Thread: Easy Cowgirl

  1. 04-01-2021, 11:19 PM #16
    Cameron Clark is offline I must create a system
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    I think the way the poem sputters into life in a haze of listing and metaphor appropriate. The final lines as Neil notes casts it all into a chance for the reader's own reflection. The shitstained and the pastoral are here, all uncompromisingly realised.
    What is the work if it isn't a ticket to slip into vivid euphoria?
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  2. 04-02-2021, 02:30 AM #17
    prokopton is offline 14x NaPoWriMo finisher!
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    Some nice sonics here -
    ""particulate:
    desiccated.."

    "Chicken shit silt
    the smut"
    and alliteration, which makes it a fun read.
    Add in the plethora of amusing images and
    we have a worthy first poem for NaPo.

    Good job.

    G.
    Kitty Ditty Challenge; have you written a cat poem for NaPo 2024? Why not?
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  3. 04-02-2021, 04:16 AM #18
    Acolyte is offline Ross, Likewise Californicator
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    Delightful start-of-April, start-of-spring, start-of-let's-see-exactly-what-comes-out! I'll be here reading when the dust settles.
    "Everywhere I go I'm asked if the universities stifle writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
    There's many a best seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher". --Flannery O'Connor
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  4. 04-02-2021, 04:19 AM #19
    cookala is offline certified napo whacko
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    great start here - nice sonics and word choices, strong images. "chicken shit silt" yeah. good stuffs.
    I like to paint images around empty spaces.
    My Flickr Photos
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  5. 04-02-2021, 12:35 PM #20
    Sorella is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Janelo, Good to see you here!
    What an original perspective: the dust of nature, of a tiny country habitat -- the riches of it, the meaning.
    Excellent opener!

    Sorella
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  6. 04-02-2021, 12:49 PM #21
    GreaterMandalaofUselessness is offline gurning in the widening gyre
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    Hey Jane,

    This works really well as a first poem for the month. Brushing out the dust and all the left behind things, letting the air in. Great sounds and images too, like: "Chicken shit silt / The smut of ancient hay bales." A Spring clean to get you ready for the next 29 days, and barn cleared out to dance in.

    Matt
    moderator
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  7. 04-02-2021, 01:47 PM #22
    scraps is offline fringe class
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    Ha! I think it's the wild-eyed look on Peg's horse that says the most!

    I loved the closing couplet of this one and also find cob separated from its web.

    The horse is definitely out of the barn now!

    Steve
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  8. 04-02-2021, 05:15 PM #23
    David John is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Wonderful start, Janelo!

    ’I am releasing a century of frass’ - yes to that!

    I really enjoyed your carefully constructed details here and how they called in that wonderful close.

    Let the dust fly!
    former Hatrabbit
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  9. 04-02-2021, 07:47 PM #24
    BrianIsSmilingAtYou is offline Fun and felicitous PFFA patron
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    Your opening ope certainly fits with the word in your signature "Realism"). The descriptions are realistic and in context, and paint a complete image of a small scene.

    BrianIs AtYou
    I think I think, therefore I might be.
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  10. 04-02-2021, 08:04 PM #25
    Gabrielle is offline Theoretically Mystical
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    Hi Jane, lovely start! Great balance, detail, musicality and rhythm. I love 'smut of ancient hay bales' and the last three lines are superb. Change from first person to collective in the last line enfolds the reader in a wonderful way.
    Theoretically Mystical
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  11. 04-03-2021, 02:20 AM #26
    Janelo is offline Maiden Race
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    Gee thanks, folks!

    Good to be amongst ya.

    Power outage tonight so I'm gonna post tonight and catch up with you tomorrow when the weekend comes.
    Realism.
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  12. 04-03-2021, 02:24 AM #27
    Dunc is offline but say it is my humour
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    Jane

    Easy, cowgirl ─ Cleaning up after nature ─ a great variety of nature ─ is, you imply, why we have cowgirls? Meanwhile, I can't recall a linebreak used with such decisiveness and purpose as "mice dropped / in here", standing out amid the beetles, spiders, chickens, swallows, termites and shortly (I take it) a raft of cattle and horses.

    Your short poem is strongly visual, strongly physical, implicitly multi-scented, finely worded and a great pleasure to read.

    Encore!

    Regards / Dunc
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  13. 04-03-2021, 03:12 AM #28
    Janelo is offline Maiden Race
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    Ditto

    You are so God

    dammed. Merely an echoing
    stenography of how my day was

    amongst the other humans: ears dull
    eyes clouded, defenses and mechanisms fortified.

    Nothing of the present world will survive.

    What do you know of horsemen?
    Your parables ape the near biblical

    revelation I am becoming.
    Realism.
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  14. 04-03-2021, 03:18 AM #29
    amaddux is offline iteratively inane
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janelo View Post
    Ditto

    You are so God

    dammed. Merely an echoing
    stenography of how my day was

    amongst the other humans: ears dull
    eyes clouded, defenses and mechanisms fortified.

    Nothing of the present world will survive.

    What do you know of horsemen?
    Your parables ape the near biblical

    revelation I am becoming.
    And upon her forehead was a name written, MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.
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  15. 04-03-2021, 04:19 AM #30
    cookala is offline certified napo whacko
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    Ditto - wow. and that is one wicked line/strophe break right at the get go - LOVE it! N's anger becoming biblical is intense, but so fitting an image. good stuffs!
    I like to paint images around empty spaces.
    My Flickr Photos
    Cheesecloth Moon (art, poetry,photography, some ranting, etc
    egrobeck (my ArtFire shop)
    Cookalas Pretty Things (my shop blog)
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