Semiprofligate's April attempt to banish 'semi' (first NaPoMo)

**semiprofligate** · 03-30-2022, 09:38 AM

As they say, 'it costs nothing to be kind' to newbies such as myself on this marathon! Lets see how I get on trying to index

**5th column** · 03-30-2022, 09:46 AM

I’ve always found the key is to lower expectations. In my case I try to make them subterranean but it’s often not been low enough

Enjoy…

**Sorella** · 03-30-2022, 01:13 PM

Oh, what a treat to read your versatile poetry in NaPo, Profligate!

Sorella

**Cameron Clark** · 03-30-2022, 01:16 PM

The first time's always the funnest.

**new leaf** · 03-30-2022, 08:45 PM

Oh, yay, a NaPo virgin! We've all been there.

**BrianIsSmilingAtYou** · 03-31-2022, 01:59 AM

The first time can be a revelation. I learned a lot from the experience.

**avalanche** · 03-31-2022, 02:33 PM

Welcome to the revolution.....

**Mittens** · 03-31-2022, 06:01 PM

Yay! My secret is don't count how many days are left... The answer is always 1, for today. You'll be great!

**Scrow** · 03-31-2022, 09:29 PM

What Brian-is-smiling and Cam said! Enjoy the ride, and welcome, and I look forward to reading you in April!

Sarah

**scraps** · 04-01-2022, 02:59 AM

So happy to see your here, Semi! You're going to surprise yourself, I guarantee it!

**semiprofligate** · 04-01-2022, 08:04 AM

Do you think I had a choice?

In this field, it is an agony
to hold beauty against such pressure.

What I show you, all of you,
is the face I have managed to lift
against the world.
Not how I want to be seen.

Under my great darkness a second sky
brittles the grey earth

where whiteflies nibble the edges
of my being for their own pleasure.

But it is not a game. While I sprout myself
for you, each tips synchronizes its atoms
against the desires of dry air.

Into their spikes I load the saliva
from my own breath

to cloud the minds of aphids
that come for me in the night.

It does me no good you brushing past me,
breathing in the smell of my skin.

We are not lovers, you and I,
together in a garden.

Here no one protects me. No one
ever has. Here in the field,

I alone hold dominion
over my own withering body

aching for beauty, and nothing else.

Originally Posted by semiprofligate

As they say, 'it costs nothing to be kind' to newbies such as myself on this marathon! Lets see how I get on trying to index

**cookala** · 04-01-2022, 10:28 AM

Nice opener-lots of like in this! welcome to Napo - hope you enjoy the ride!

**5th column** · 04-01-2022, 11:29 AM

Hello, Semi!

Great start. I think of it as a marathon of sprints.

Only tip would be to insert an image / images early doors. Those first four stanzas need to grab the reader.

**Cameron Clark** · 04-01-2022, 02:33 PM

What I like in this is its confrontation, and how the confrontational animates the images. It's a very good early draft of something promising.

**BrianIsSmilingAtYou** · 04-01-2022, 02:41 PM

A nice start. Challenging imagery used as the springboard for mental / emotional conflict.

BrianIs

AtYou

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