Semiprofligate's April attempt to banish 'semi' (first NaPoMo)

[semiprofligate]

Enough is enough

I refuse to be pulled
apart like a piece of gum
pinched from the silence
of your open mouth,

that your fingers punish,
then stretch dry
for another lonely predator.

I will not wait here
for a distant breath
between your teeth
that bothers this far.

TBC

[Donner]

Hi, Semi,

"Enough is enough" - I would think so. : ) What if you wrote this in the past tense to show that N has turned his back and left instead of sticking (no pun intended) around to argue the point?

Donna

[semiprofligate]

Departing for the last time

Breaching the jitter of clouds
I pierce this precise iris of earth,

into the other world. A nodule
full of fire and trajectory

bulleting its mindless trail of conviction
into a semblance of sky.

Bless you my nothings, the small descriptions
from which air is made

and nothing remains,
after an act of departure.

In this pure distillation of solitude,
I am further from you
than I have ever been pushed.

Though there was no catapult,
no schism or even example that I,

we, could latch to like mindless nodules.
Only this premeditated vault

into silence that is worth nothing.
Because it is only the going,

not the arriving anywhere.

[anita.a]

Hi NAPO newbie, you are here to stay! Lovely poems. Lavender and undone are nice ! But, what worked best for me is Perspective... it has potential for post-NAPO revision.

[SP Singer]

Hello again for the last NaPo time, today we depart NaPo 2022 for the very last time, honestly it's quite a mix of emotions for me, imagine it must be for you as well.

I'm falling in quick love with Departing For The Last Time, loving the comparison of a relationship's close to a journey away from earth. You have a way of often locating a proper gravity for your carefully chosen words, here especially. There are too many lines i like as well as others to single out. Looked up nodule since it is the kind of twice-used word that's no mistake. I think you've used 2 different meanings here, the 2nd listed meaning works so well near the close--the separating of one part from another of a single thing--quite a fresh way of looking at the extremely painful dividing in a relationship's close. I like too the fresh look at the values around journeying at all. In this case there is a literal non-arrival--not one to evaluate as to where any landing happens---a very real brief description of relationship fallout chaos-land. The last thing i like for now is that i could copy/past the close so it applies to a single bundle of very alienating moments in a relationship alone, not the entirety of it, in my experience though, one is the micro, one the macro.
Congratulations on being here P!
SP