There's a whole lot going on in that negative space.
No question.
It's beautiful.
PFFA home | Everypoet home | Classic poems | Absurdities | Contribute or subscribe | Support Béla's ego the PFFA: Iceberg (a CD) | Cure your insomnia with CBT-I
|
||
WARNING! We're mean. We're nasty. We're merciless. We're cruel. We're vile. We're heartless. We'll slash your soul to ribbons. We're an evil clique conspiring to annihilate your self-esteem. Ready? New to the PFFA? Read the Hot & Sexy Posting Guidelines and burrow through the Blurbs of Wisdom |
There's a whole lot going on in that negative space.
No question.
It's beautiful.
Realism.
Hey Steve,
"a space before words" is definitely a good idea before plunging into NaPo. Me, I see someone sitting calmly in an armchair, hands folded together, taking a moment to prepare themselves. I find it very calming. Nicely done.
May the calm continue all month!
Matt
moderator
scraps, this is interesting. We have one xxx displaced and brought up to the top of the block, a total of 30 xxx’s, with xxx being 30 in roman numerals. Then there is the single line at the end of the poem. It’s certainly generating thought, even if I can’t quite decipher any single meaning from it.
John
Hi Steve,
I think you may be illustrating how a single space give to placing words with some value/meaning is completely eaten alive, even before the words are inserted, the overriding fear ensquaring--a fortress that looks so strong with a cozy place at center is a terrifying structure visually as well as any other way.
I read about how this fear visually expressed represents a symbol for pornography, and assume you had this connection in mind as well, adding fuel to the already blazing fire. I wonder if the person who looks at this image from a perspective riddled with fear sees something entirely different than one who doesn't. My answer is yes. To one a space threatens, to another, it protects.
Thanks,
SP
aluminum foil star fan
triginta what? gotta look that up. a concrete abstract poem. hmmmm. my head hurts now after trying to decipher it. I give up.
***looked it up - no match found at dictionary.com - ???
I like to paint images around empty spaces.
My Flickr Photos
Cheesecloth Moon (art, poetry,photography, some ranting, etc
egrobeck (my ArtFire shop)
Cookalas Pretty Things (my shop blog)
That space in the middle feels like a safe little haven. I guess it could also be "writer bombarded by distractions," but it feels happy to me. I'll go with "writer in his safe/happy place" - perfect for the next 29 days of making space for words! Fun start.
Thank you Mittens, cookala, SP, John, Matt, Jane, Sorella, Sarah, Tony, Avalanche, Neil, Brian and Jee - I am happy that there were so many varied responses. You all are a great boost and I seriously appreciate your fluff!
Steve
Last edited by scraps; 04-03-2022 at 07:26 AM.
Texas Dad Admits the Skeleton in His Kitchen Is Son Who Died in 2018
I admit there was a little bit of getting around to it
that I never did get around to but can you imagine
you're alone on an island and the sun is going down
and the only bridge to the mainland catches a spark
and it burns so prettily that you just let it do its thing
a moment because where do you have to be anyway?
https://www.yahoo.com/news/texas-dad...110100527.html
Last edited by scraps; 04-03-2022 at 07:57 AM.
Bone chilling indeed.
This works for me as a total and complete dissociative fantasy of this father character now having lapsed into oblivion after living with his son's corpse ... in his kitchen... for four years. (Where does the time go? Hard to pin that one on the pandemic innit.)
The voice feels right as an extension of the father in the article. "I never did get around to it" fits nicely.
As for the image of the sunset catching a spark, I'm not sure if that's meant to be an actual fire, which would leave him alone on the island and safe, but I read it more as the sunset shining through the bridge and the character getting lost in the beauty. Life has been a series of pretty or otherwise distracting moments that have kept him from addressing his reality.
It's creepy AF scraps. But I expect no less from you.
Jane
Realism.
The second strophe turns a very macabre event into a human backstory. Disturbing (the story itself is disturbing enough) but also the absurdism in the 'getting round to it' juxtaposed with that powerful one-sentence image at the end.
Kudos!
Sarah
Thank you Jane and Sarah! You are the most generous of the most generous readers and I appreciate it!
Steve
mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi milk mom pepsi
US man wakes from 19-year coma
"He started out with 'Mom' and surprised her and then it was 'Pepsi' and then it was 'milk,'"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/3052433.stm
I'm drowning!!!!
haha
Seriously, something about this... makes me think about nursing babies, how sometimes they just get going and there is too much milk and they end up gulping and gasping and milk is going everywhere. I also think about how some moms give toddlers soda in their baby bottle. Lotsa room for different impressions but a core sample of sorts about fixation and addiction.
IDK I'm just thankful this world keeps serving up weird news to fuel your brand.
Realism.
Hey Steve,
Texas Dad -- I like how I can read this as totally dissociative, but also as a metaphor, the sun going down and/or the spark, perhaps being the son, the bridge being a bridge to acceptance, to letting go. And also like how island also suggests a kitchen island.
mom pepsi milk - I guess for his mother, hearing the work "mom" would be gratifying, suggesting he's back, but then "pepsi" and "milk" show perhaps a deterioration, that's he making less sense that she hoped. I can kind of see that going on in the poem, as the repetition starts to remove the sense of the words. Also, there's something about the three words that suggest childhood and need, I think.
A NaPo of news prompts? Whatever gets you through the month. Keep 'em coming.
Matt
moderator
Steve,
Texas Dad rings very true -- we humans are unpredictable, often in a very innocent harmless way too.
Mom pepsi milk -- you can paper your home with it -- either joyously or as tedium. Imaginative, both poems, in a quiet way. Kudos!