Donner's Scribble, Erase, Scribble, Crumple, Toss, Repeat NaPo Thread

[Donner]

I miss Robert Palmer

and the line-up
of cloned brunette women
with huge red lips,
chignons,
dramatic make-up
and matching dresses.
I want to be one of them,
but I can't dance,
let alone play a guitar,
and certainly not in heels,
not like they do, anyway,
except in my kitchen
when I'm home alone.
But maybe they'd cast me
because I'm tall
and so willing to learn
and put me in the back row
like all my class pictures
from grade school.


Robert Palmer Girls

[Dunc]

Tulips and thorns? How else should Lent end?

As for Mr Palmer, wow, televangelism's come a long way since last I looked. You shouldn't be in the back row, you should be on the mike,

Great start, great movement and colour,

Regards / Dunc

[BrianIsSmilingAtYou]

Donner, you're the master of the American Sentence. Beautiful flowers. But "every rose has its thorn" as the song says, while the tulips just need love.

In "I miss Robert Palmer," I learned a new word with "chignons."

The air of desire mixed with vulnerability is evident in this. Well done.

BrianIs AtYou

[Scavella]

I want to be one of them,
but I can't dance,
let alone play a guitar

But Donna, they couldn't either.

Love the tulips. "Chooses" is the right word. Sound, meaning and action all combine; "decides" is waaaayyy too corporate.

Cheers.

[Donner]

Thanks, Dunc, Brian and Scavella, for stopping by. Brian - I could have used "bun", but "chignon" is so much more elegant.

[Donner]

Mis-matched Man

His towels don't match.
Neither do his lamps
or furniture, all picked up
off Craig's List
or the curb for free.
Truth be told, neither do we.
We shouldn't,
but somehow we work
just like his towels
and lamps and recliner
and TV stand and desk.

[Sorella]

Donner,
The perfect love and the crown of thorns, at Easter! Amazing A.S., not unusual from you!
So good to have you staging this event yet again. Thank you for that, and for the Robert Palmer poem, so wistful.
Running behind, of course: thanks for letting me in after hours!

Sorella

[vmh]

Hi Donna: Love the serenity cut with thorns on your first go. Loved that Palmer song and so nice to see it as a prompt, in which you use your nostalgia twice, going back and then even farther. Also, I'm not sure I knew you were tall!! Your third is a sweet listing of common items found, and your stacking the lines adds to that, and nestled in that is you both. Calm piece, nicely built tone, reality hidden in the items.

Vicky

[David John]

Hi Donner, I love your Robert Palmer poem! I remember how hypnotic and startling that video was when it first came out. Your poem gives us a taste of that and beautifully weaves in the class pictures memory. Really enjoyed how you brought those two elements together.

Mismatched Man is touching and well constructed.

[Featherless Biped]

Oh, today I learned a new archetype: the Robert Palmer girl. Not for me, but I wouldn’t mind making someone else feel like ones. Even if my details are different, I can definitely relate to that gap between the glamorous imaginary self and the real self who can’t dance.

Mis-matched man is a sweet and evocative portrait of a lover.

[Mimic_Octopus]

Happy NaPo, Donner! I love your Robert Palmer portrait. It is such a strange image: the bored girls and the frantic man, and neither acknowledging the others' existence. Oddly gothic. I love the zoom back to reality with the school photo, which makes it all so damn moving.

K x

[Emily Bronte]

Great to be doing NaPo with you again :-)

Particularly love the Tulip American Sentence.

Will be back.

Mari.

[Donner]

Thanks, Sorella (you're more than welcome), Vicky, David, Ray, Kirsty and Mari, for reading and commenting. I'm glad the Robert Palmer piece went over well, I've been fascinated by his videos and Robert Palmer women since I first saw them, and I'm glad that adding the reference to class pictures didn't distract. It was a last minute (if there's such a thing in NaPo) thought. Vicky - I'm 5'7", sort of tall, and the reason I was usually in the back row of those pictures from 5th grade on.

Donna

[Donner]

Genetic Advantage

I am the only one in the lab waiting room
with dark hair. Ten others sit around
in the nondescript matching chairs

with matching gray heads, scanning phones
until they're called to check in
or get blood drawn. Despite HIPAA regs,

I can hear their dates of birth
and know many are younger than me
despite looking older. I want to pull

the picture of my mother at my age out
and go around the room to show them
our hair is the same shade, that it's not them,

it's the genetic roll of the dice,
just like many of the conditions
that will show up in their lab results.

[Andrea345]

And now their bodies are so hard, I’m afraid to touch a cheek, a hand, or to hug them. I might stab myself.