Hangin'

Forgot to mention that I listened to Chad Paronto's radio segment yesterday. He chatted with Rich Hill. It was probably one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

And I laughed so damn hard. Well done, guys.

One more thing about Paronto: When I saw him kind of blow a game in Louisville by hitting the batter to walk in a run, he was beside himself. I saw Paronto shell shocked and fuming in the dugout, staying behind after the game ended to contemplate his mortality.

By the way, that ballpark is killer. Love the sweet woman selling cookies. Cookies! And Oh they were delicious on the flight home...

(The hotel fire drill was pretty memorable, too. I now know that I can remain outwardly calm in a Towering Inferno simulation.)

8.27.10 Pawtucket Red Sox @ Rochester Red Wings - Koskie!

TJ Large WINS! Jiggaaaaa...

Final score 6-5 but only because some crazy Red Sox shit happened in the ninth.

It was yet another Ramon Ramirez start, but he got an IL Pitcher of the Week thing so fuck me, I guess. TOP THAT, KRIS JOHNSON! Ramirez pitched six innings and spread out three runs on five hits, one of them a Matt Macri solo home run in the fifth. Macri had a hottt night in Rochester, because he also hit an RBI triple off Santo Luis in the seventh.

Rochester countered with weirdo Anthony Swarzak. Pawtucket got 8 hits off Swarzak, but only managed one run in the second. Niuman Romero doubled and Reddick drove him in with a single. There were other base runners scattered like hash browns in the inning, but Brown and Saltalamacchia killed them all with groundouts. Damn, Dusty Brown. Get it together. I expect more from a Pawtucket veteran.

The score was 3-1 Rochester going into the seventh, but reliever Santo Luis gave up that Matt Macri triple and what's-his-name... hit a sac fly to score Macri and bring the lead to 5-1. Generally, that means curtains for Pawtucket! Just like last year, the team is not one to come from behind. Like your mom.

But then Red Wings reliever Anthony Slama met Eric Patterson in the ninth. Dusty Brown walked with one out in the inning and Good Old Niuman Romero hit a single. I love him so much. Guys like him get overlooked all the time and it's CRIMINAL. I would like to give him ten dollars, like for his birthday, like your grandmother might do.

Getting back to Rochester. Josh Reddick hit a three-run homer and I still think he's a jackass. The score was 5-4. Why does this stuff never happen when I'm at a game? Slama got the hook and Alex Burnett was next. How hard could it be? Just get two outs!

Burnett faced Eric Patterson first. I saw Patterson in Iowa at the ballpark in Des Moines! Have you ever been there? Probably not! I also saw Papa Jack when I was there. Papa Jack got a raw deal.

Sorry, I am all over the place today. Patterson singled, stole second, stole third, then ran home to score on a wild pitch. TIE GAME!!! And like, the whole time Bubba Bell was in the box, watching the goings on while he tried to have a productive at-bat. I wonder what goes through a batter's mind when stuff like this is going on?

Probably nothing. Probably nothing.

Bubba Bell finally walked. And then stole second. Saltalamacchia doubled, Bell scored, and that's pretty much where the Red Sox won the game. 6-5. And here comes Fernando Cabrera, who's no Robert Manuel. IN BED.

Cabrera immediately gave up a single to Jacque Jones and then walked Lew Ford to put two runners on for Shannon Stewart. No, not really. It was Brendan Harris, who bunted to move Jones over but instead, Cabrera tossed the ball over to Romero and it was Harris who was safe at first. Dustin (Mohr) Martin came in to pinch run, but Cabrera finished everything off and game over, Red Wings.

i think that's really really sweet that your grandparents still make love:
1. Laugh all you want, but Jacque Jones went 3-4. He is also 35, if you'd like to take a moment and feel old.
2. Niuman Romero went 3-4. Bell and Brown were the only kids who didn't get any hits. 'Bell and Brown' sounds like the name of a pub.
3. WHOA. In his last ten games, Dusty Brown is 5-39, batting .128 with an OBP of .150. That is crazy! Must be still working through that injury. Either that or... Drinking problem.
4. Sellout crowd last night in Rochester. I wonder if the Conehead was there?
5. I want to go to the Twins' new ballpark sooooo bad. I wonder if Brad Radke goes sometimes?

Tonight! Rochester shoves a reluctant Cole Devries out onto the mound. Some jerk will oppose.

NIUMAN ROMERO IS A DIRT DOG!!!!!

Dustin Richardson could never take the place of your man.

Hi, Dustin. You know how cute I always thought you were.

Richardson's a man of mystery to me, so today I will learn about him.

Fundamentally, Richardson's a very tall 26 year old lefty from Kansas. Boston drafted him fifth round in 2006 from Texas Tech. I'm pretty sure he's someone's dad?

the earth and sky:
1. Richardson's major league debut came in late September, 2009, versus the Blue Jays.
2. Richardson played basketball in college, of course.
3. Richardson got 22 starts while in Portland in 2008. The next year in Portland, he only worked as a reliever. He was promoted to Pawtucket on August 21st, 2009.
4. Dustin Richardson is probably not a Juggalo.
5. Richardson's change-up is a work in progress, which means that it sucks and he shouldn't use it.
6. "FB 92-94, CB 78, CH 79-80. Big body, heavy FB, lacks balance and coordination, prohibits him from becoming frontline starter. Definite bullpen candidate, could be ML LH bullpen help." - Baseball Beginnings
7. "The Texas Tech product ferociously attacks the strike zone with his four-seam and two-seam fastballs, and uses the pitch to pile up strikeouts: he notched 97 in those 74 frames, and lives for the adrenaline boost of the big punch-out." - Providence paper
8. Chill out, Spartacus: "I get a lot of swings and misses with my fastball, and that’s what I rely on, my fastball," Richardson said. "If I don’t strike somebody out that inning even if I get a seven-pitch inning, and I don’t strike somebody out, I don’t feel as good –– might lose some confidence, you know?" Yes, we see.
9. This Dustin Richardson v Brian Shouse argument was great! "The Red Sox will choose Richardson if they want a mop-up reliever who can pitch multiple innings -- he has that background as a starting pitcher, after all -- and if they believe his learning curve would be accelerated by starting the season in the major leagues." (from B. MacPherson's 'One if by Land blog')
10. In 2008, Richardson played winter ball in Hawaii (North Shore Honu).
11. "Richardson nearly made Texas Tech's basketball team as a walk-on and was featured prominently in ESPN's related reality show, "Knight School." - SoSH Wiki
12. "Richardson fights through an injury to impress Knight and his staff..." from a 'Knight School' review
13. And now I'm getting the feeling that the whole reality show was some bullshit and Richardson had never intended to do anything but play baseball. "I had fun on the show ... It was a great experience for me. My first love is baseball and it's where the future lies for me with a chance to play professionally. Basketball is another love, and to have a chance to play for Coach Knight and with the other players would have been awesome."
14. Awww... "Dustin Richardson, a Newton native and Boston Red Sox baseball player, recently paid a visit to Chisholm Middle School to touch base with some of his former teachers and sign autographs for students."
15. "If all goes well for Richardson, he could be the heir to Hideki Okajima as the Red Sox’ primary lefty reliever." - MLB Fantasy Prospects
16. Daniel Bard on Richardson: "No one was happier to have Dustin Richardson in the bullpen this past week than I was. With him here, I don't have to pack up the cooler to bring out to the bullpen anymore. I stopped carrying out the cooler after last year because that's a rookie deal. But having the least amount of service time of the pitchers, doesn't matter if I'm the youngest or not, I still have to pack it when Richardson isn't here. As long as he's here, I'm off the hook."
17. DR: "You know the movie "For Love of the Game," with Kevin Costner, where the pitcher says "Clear the mechanism"? That's what pitching is. It's visualization to throw to a target." from a 2006 D. Laurila interview. Sorry, I have never seen that movie. Does it hurt?
18. Please enjoy this video of Richardson's heinous balk. I would have been so embarrassed.
18. Dustin Richardson is from a landlocked state and has probably never surfed in his life. Or tried marijuana. Or worn seashell jewelry.
19. Baseball Paul takes a look at DR while he was in the AFL (with video!).
20. Richardson had a "fatigued quad" during 2010 spring training.
21. Richardson played in the AFL All-Star Game in 2009.

There, I'm done. Damn, Dustin Richardson is boring. So much for mystery.

8.26.10 So this is Rochester... Tolerant Rochester!

3-1 Red Sox as they beat a team that's worse than they are. Go Twins!

David Bromberg started for Rochester and managed to get into the seventh inning before being replaced by one of the Lugos. Jose, I believe. Pawtucket racked up eight hits v Bromberg, leading to their three runs. Bromberg rather gamely threw 102 pitches, like, OMG. But wait until you hear this...

Fabio Castro threw 99 Pitchballoons! Of course, it's not like Castro pitched eight innings like former maestro Devern Hansack. It was 6 2/3, just a little more than Bromberg. The cool thing was that Castro only issued two walks. Usually, he walks half the park, so well done. Not only that, but Castro struck out 8 Red Wings. Remarkable!

Scoring? Don't mind if I do! A rather insouciant Lars Anderson led off the second inning with a triple, which must have been so exciting. I'm excited just thinking about it. I'm setting it to music in my mind - How about 'Be My Baby' by the Ronettes? YES.

Jorge Jimenez grounded out shortly thereafter, scoring Anderson to put the Red Sox up 1-0. Third inning, Gil Velazquez leads off with a double. Not quite as exciting as a triple, but I'm still fanning myself over it. This time, it was Hermida who got the RBI with his single to right.

Rochester put up their first run in the bottom of the third, when that damn bastard Dinkelman hit an RBI single. Pawtucket scored its third run in the fifth, when Hannahan came up with Velazquez on third and Reddick on second. Hannahan did not hit a home run, but he did ground out over to first so Velazquez could fly home. 3-1 Pawtucket and no one scored after that, so fuck it.

Robert Coello and Dustin Richardson provided relief of superior cut and quality, holding the hapless Red Wings to zero point zero zero more runs. They were later spotted smoking celebratory blunts in the parking lot with Jimenez and Anderson while playing 'Cinnamon Girl' over and over...

Go, team, go. RAAAWWRRRRRRR.
1. Gil Velazquez went 3-4 with a double. He was really, really smelling good.
2. Aaron Bates, Mark Wagner. Two men with absolutely nothing in common. Are about to go on the journey of their life. (0-4 with a strikeout.)
3. "Velazquez actually should have been retired because he wandered too far off third on Jack Hannahan's grounder, but he ended up scoring when the Wings couldn't execute a rundown." - Kevin Oklobzija on the fifth inning play.
4. Oklobzija?
5. Bromberg is a triple-A newbie, having been promoted from New Britain back in July. L.A. girl, L.A. world.
6. Me, I've been to the Rochester ballpark twice. Wicked nice park with good beer. The first time I went, Keith Foulke was there rehabbing and of course he was used as an ineffective reliever and lost the game for Pawtucket. This was probably when I started realizing that winning and losing were kind of irrelevant in triple-A. I related this story to former PawSox righty Marc Deschenes, who I LOVED, and he rather politely expressed dismay. Deschenes was so awesome. Those were happier, more innocent times.

Tonight! Ramon Ramirez, Anthony Swarzak. You do not want to miss this. Unless you're going bowling or something.

GIL VELAZQUEZ!!!!

The Million Dollar Usher

After the five years thing, I kind of toyed with the idea of revealing some PawSox secrets, but I really don't want to go there or shatter your image of Chris Carter.

In lieu if being smutty, here's a true story of justice. This is all second hand information, but the sources are good and reliable and I have no reason to disbelieve any of it.

As an employee of the Pawtucket Red Sox, you are not supposed to bug the players for autographs or whatever. I don't remember this from the rulebook when I worked there, but then that was like 45 years ago. At any rate, don't do it.

There was an usher who we'll call Orb. I remember Orb - Seemed like a perfectly decent guy. Did a good job ushing. Friendly and well-liked. But he broke the rules! Or did he? Orb was reportedly off-duty when he solicited autographs, but this did not stop him from being FIRED! for it.

Orb did not take this lying down and sued the Pawtucket Red Sox Baseball Club for wrongful termination. He reportedly received over $1 million, season tickets, and all the free soda he wants to drink! YAY ORB!

By the way, it's funny how the whole autograph think is overlooked with certain employees. Me, I could give a crap. I think the whole thing is dumb. But I know there are people who take it really seriously...

GOOD NIGHT NOW.

For Every One

Yesterday marked five years of doing this. Once the season is over, I'll do some self-indulgent retrospectives and top 5 lists. It's funny how different Baseball Heavy is now compared to when I first started. It takes time to hone one's craft, I guess. Hey, I almost said that with a straight face!

Here's the best part: My liner notes!

Most extreme thanks to my brother Phil, who may be the only person who really gets it. Thanks for the drunken comments, too!

Thanks also to occasional readers Lucky and Vee, my sisters and baseball traveling companions.

Billy: Thanks for everything, especially the winter sports. And also Kayla, for being Kayla and hostessing the crap out of everything and just being generally a superb friend.

For Red Sox Fan in Pinstripe Terr. and Witch City Sox Girl, thanks for the early support! It meant a lot to me.

Katrina - Thank you so much. Sorry about the Canadian incident! Lesson learned.

And almost finally, the Generic Thank You List: My radio, PawSox Keith, Stephen and his Stuff, my best friend Bob Flanders, all the sawhorse kids, Nick C, Danny D, the Blackstone Valley Freeballers, the Blackstone Valley Media Club, Bartender Bob C, Devern Hansack, Peter and Huck from BTS Land, Sitting Still Kelly and Toeing the Cyn, Mud Hens Nancy (thanks so much!), Kyle B, The Force, Bonnie from the GH, and all the people who patiently listened to me talking on and on about my blog and about the PawSox.

Hugs to all the shame-faced people who are secretly reading this. I know you're out there!

Special thanks to my employers who let me sneak out early to attend baseball games.

My parents never read this, so I'm not thanking them for anything.

FIVE YEARS!!!!

8.25.10 PAW @ BUF - i've no one to play with today

Pawtucket WINS! 8-3 in ten innings. Damn, they're really fucking up Buffalo's shit WRT their playoff run.

Your glamorous and sexy PawSox starting pitcher was Rich Hill, and I'm pretty comfortable with him as a starter. Hill pitched five innings (of course) and Buffalo only scored once on five hits. Hill issued a couple of walks and struck out four.

Pawtucket struck first in this game, when Hannahan hit a two-run single in the second inning. The team bumped it up to 3-0 in the third inning, when a couple of singles and a walk loaded the bases for Lars Anderson, who hit a sac fly to center, scoring Reddick.

Mike Cervenak led off the fifth inning with a single off Hill, then stole second base. Cervenak slipped over to third when Hernandez grounded out. And then when Andy Green doubled, it was crazy, Cervenak ran home to score the first Buffalo run.

Sixth inning, Hideki Okajima in. In a weird way that I cannot explain, I'm not really a huge Boston Red Sox fan. But I do really like Okajima! And immediately Nick Evans hits a triple to center field and I wish I could say Reddick wasn't too sharp on the play and that's how Evans got over to third, but I don't know, I wasn't there. And then Nieuwenhuis grounded out in such a fashion that Evans scored to make the score an uncomfortable 3-2.

And now let's talk about Val Pascucci. Robert Manuel was pitching the eighth and Pascucci hit a solo home run. It's the least he could have done. Pascucci is a living representation of an oaf, but maybe he's really smart? Anyway, tie game!

In the tenth inning, Josh Reddick hit a grand slam, but who cares because Jorge Jimenez hit an RBI single earlier in the inning which would have won the game right there. Manuel pitched the bottom of the inning and the Bisons didn't score, so think about that!

Bisons starter Raul Valdes wore the loss like a crown of thorns... Seven innings right down the toilet. Poor kid.


'Retarded artistically. Idiotic in other respects.'
1. The Bisons catcher for the game was Mike Nickeas. WHO? What happened to House? Was it Lupus?
2. Aaron Bates did not get a hit but he did walk three times, which is a great contribution. Jack Hannahan had two RBI of his own. And he played second, which is weird.
3. Tommy Hottovy also pitched one inning. I'm pretty sure we've been through this before. It seemed like a simple place to score.
4. Bisons' mgr Ken Oberkfell on Reddick: "This guy was Babe Ruth in this series." Oberkfell was ejected from the game for arguing the following call...
5. More from Mike Harrington: "The Bisons got a bad break in the bottom of the first as they loaded the bases with one out and didn't score. Pawtucket got out of the inning as Nieuwenhuis grounded into a 3-6-3 double play to end the inning. At least that was the call of fill-in umpire Wally Bissett, a Buffalo resident who ruled Nieuwenhuis out. Replays showed otherwise." You should probably just read that whole article, it's really good...
6. From reader 'Rob Castellano' on the Amazin' Avenue blog: "staying in buffalo, kirk nieuwenhuis has been pretty terrible at the plate lately. he’s looking a bit gassed though he’s played more than this many games the past two seasons; this is the guy who owns the single season record for games played in brooklyn we’re talking about."
7. EVEN MORE on Wally Bissett, from mgr Torey Lovullo: "You should call Randy [Mobley, IL prez) and if you do, you have my support. We had episodes when we went into Columbus where we were embarrassed by the umpiring behind home plate that cost us in a couple of key situations. I'm not really commenting on what went on out here but I think there's a place and time for an umpire to be out at a base but they really shouldn't be at first or behind the plate."

Tonight! Rochester! Fabio Castro v Mike Bromberg! SATISFACTION!!

8.23.10 How is it not raining in Buffalo?

Pawtucket wins 7-3. Winning pitcher Adam Mills (3-9) tossed out six scoreless innings. His successor in relief, Dustin Richardson, had one scoreless inning to call his own.

Chad Paronto was called in for the eighth inning, but he had a few problems. Paronto gave up a single with one out, walked Andy Green, and then I don't know what he was throwing but Nick Evans and Nieuwenhuis hit consecutive doubles to score the first Bisons runs. Suddenly, Pawtucket's 4-0 lead was imperiled.

Enter the relentless handsomery of Fernando Cabrera. It wasn't a cute ending to the eighth - Cabrera threw a wild pitch and walked a couple of guys (This would have killed me if I were present) but in the end, he got Cervenak to pop out. Yikes.

Buffalo starter Michael Antonini had pitched the whole game up to that point, but was replaced by Yhency Brazoban in the ninth. Oh, Yhency. Brazoban got Bates to strike out, but Anderson knocked a single over to left and Hannahan hit a subsequent double to put two runners in scoring position with one out.

Mark Wagner, still shaking off the DL graveyard dirt, hit a single and scored Anderson. Niuman Romero, who'd been dropped in the batting order for Top Secret Reasons, did something cool and hit an RBI single to make the score 6-3.

HANG ON I'M NOT FINISHED YET! Gil Velazquez flew out, moving Wagner over to third, and then Reddick singled. It scored Wagner, but Romero failed to reach third and was thrown out by Nieuwenhuis. Inning over, but the Red Sox scored three more runs.

Cabrera led off the ninth inning by walking the lowest guy in the batting order, JR House, but a double play set him on track for the save. Last chance batter Andy Green struck out and Pawtucket won.

lookin' good when it comes to the punch:
1. Looks like Josh Reddick went 5-5 with another home run. His parents must be so proud. I'm glad I don't have to work with him.
2. Gil Velazquez went 0-4.
3. Mets fans want Lucas Duda in New York.

Tonight! It's Fernando Martinez bobblehead night in Buffalo. Remember that time I went to Buffalo? And Mike Lowell? I told you I wouldn't stop talking about it! It's also my canasta night.

Rich Hill and Raul Valdes are your pitching matchup. If you had to have sex with one of those guys, which one would you pick?

Last Night's Game v. Buffalo

Kris Johnson loses, 12-4. Bisons starter Dillon Gee was not wowing anyone, but he got the win so get in the kitchen and make him a sandwich!

Pawtucket scored first when Josh Reddick hit a solo home run in Pawtucket's first at-bat of the game. In the bottom of the inning, left fielder Lucas Duda hit a double with two outs. A wild pitch got him over to third, and then when Nick Evans hit a grounder, Jorge Jimenez made an error throwing over to first and Duda scored.

The Bisons scored a second run in the first when Nieuwenhuis hit an RBI double, scoring Green. The score would jump up to 4-1 in the fourth inning, when Pascucci scored on a passed ball and catcher JR House sac flied Cervenak home.

Kris Johnson started the fifth inning, but after giving up a walk and a double and not getting an out, he was replaced by TJ Large. I had to pause for a second after typing that sentence. Large got out of the fifth untouched, but the sixth inning made a jerk out of him. Russ Adams hit a two-run homer, Nick Evans hit an RBI double, Velazquez made an error that cost another run, and there it was: 8-2 Buffalo.

In the top of the seventh inning, Gustavo Molina hit a solo home run off Gee to make it 8-3. Sean Green replaced Gee with one out and two runners on and wound up allowing Romero to single to load the bases. And then Green walked Hermida to bring in a fourth run for the Red Sox.

In the bottom of the seventh, Hideki Okajima pitched for Pawtucket and gave up four runs. Okajima only got one out. They replaced him with Santo Luis and surprisingly, Luis got the job done. Pitched the rest of the game with no further runs scoring. Remarkable! And yet, in the end, nobody won. Except Mike Cervenak who went 3-5.

i'm sorry, you were saying?
1. Russ Adams is so hot this month!
2. Joy of Sox has a cool game summary.
3. Dillon Gee has set the single-season strikeout record for Buffalo this year.
4. Josh Reddick went 3-4 with two home runs. If he's crowned team MVP then I will projectile vomit.
5. Both Aaron Bates and Lars Anderson went 0-4 with 2 strikeouts. Gil Velazquez went 0-4 with three K's, but he gets a pass from me because he's not an annoying mallrat type.
6. Everyone on the Bisons got a hit last night.

Tonight! Adam Mills, Michael Antonini. Should be a cold night in Buffalo.

8.22.10 PawSox @ Buffalo - Game 1, exclamation point.

Pawtucket WINS! 9-2. Must have been White Boy Day at the park, as Lars Anderson went 2-3 with a double and a home run.

Pawtucket's starter was Ramon Ramirez, who very courteously pitched the whole game. Ramirez gave up two runs on seven hits and threw 93 pitches. Thanks for that, RR.

Buffalo countered with so fresh double-A kid Josh Stinson. Stinson gave up five Pawtucket runs in six innings.

Stinson's reliever for the seventh was righty John Lujan. Lujan got Reddick to strikeout, but Hannahan singled to center right after that. Bubba Bell walked, Bates struck out, and then Anderson hit a two-run double.

But Pawtucket was not satisfied. At least, Hermida was not, because he homered to right. 9-0 Pawtucket!

Ramirez was pretty close to a shutout, but JR House hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the inning. Probably only Ramirez gave a crap, though. It is, after all, a collection of individual performances and not an honest ball game. THE PAWSOX ARE A LIE!

Some other stuff happened, but I'm so bored with all of this shit that I shan't address it. If I were a broadcaster... Well, I couldn't do it. "Bowden's pitch.. Oh, what a surprise! He walked him!"

"Bates steps in with runners in scoring position... He's gonna ground into a double play like he always does. Bet on it, folks."

"Coello's coming in from the bullpen and I can smell his cologne from up here..."

So... I would love to hear a miserable, sarcastic radiocast. I would love to hear stuff such as 'Here comes fatass' or 'God, not this guy again.'

Okay, I'll stop. Digression's my worst enemy. Well, that and the inconsistent relief work of Chad Paronto.

that is why i'm your king:
1. "Justin Turner was injured on a freak play, when a ball ricocheted off Nick Evans, and Turner’s knee buckled when he tried to change direction. Fernando Martinez suffered a slight injury to HIS right knee in the game, as well. Keep in mind the turf was very slick." - from Mets Merized Online
2. Bisons mgr Ken Oberkfell's post-game here.
3. Catcher Gustavo Molina also hit a two-run homer.
4. Josh Reddick did not get a hit in either game.

Is that good enough? I think so!

8.22.10 PAW @ BUF - Game 2

7-5 Red Sox in this seven inning game. Where did all these runs come from?

Both starters, Coello and Adam Pettyjohn, worked for four innings. After four innings, the score was 3-2 Buffalo. Pawtucket tossed in Robert Manuel, Buffalo used Puerto Rican bombshell Jose De La Torre. I can't imagine going through life with two spaces in my last name. What a bitch filling out forms.

Robert Manuel gave up two runs during his two innings, but De La Torre gave up three. With the game tied in the seventh, reliever Chad Cordero walked Niuman Romero with two outs. Wait, that was awkward.

Bisons reliever Chad Cordero entered the seventh inning with the score tied 5-5 and got a quick couple of outs before walking shortstop Niuman Romero. (Much better!) Bubba Bell followed that up with a single and Aaron Bates, King of the GIDP, singled to center, scoring Romero. With two outs!

And then Lars Anderson singled, but it was a cheap hooker of a hit, going right to the pitcher. Whatever, Bubba Bell made it home. 7-5. How does that feel?

sex shooter:
1. Robert Manuel gave up two runs in the sixth after nailing the fifth, one two three. Russ Adams hit a solo home run off Manuel. No... Hang on, it was Nick Evans who homered. Sorry.
2. Aaron Bates hit a home run. Mark Wagner and Gil Velazquez each doubled.
3. Fernando Cabrera got the save. There will never be anyone better looking than Cabrera in the bullpen. The man is unstoppable. If I were a scout, this would mean something completely different. But I am just a lady.
4. Here's what Russ Adams did: He tripled. Well, that and disappoint Blue jays fans worldwide.
5. Buffalo had to be very careful in this game, since two of their players left game 1 with injuries and some other guys were called up or attending their sister's weddings. There were only nine position players.

That's the whole boring story. Tonight! Kris Johnson, Dillon Gee. Ugh, I hate Kris Johnson.

BYE.

hiatus

Taking the next three days off. I have a lot to do. Get over it.

Things I Have Never Understood About Baseball

1. Why does the pitcher slowly walk back to the dugout after the end of an inning while the rest of the team kind of hustles?

2. How do outfielders not get like a million mosquito bites?

3. Why do players have to wear a jacket and tie when traveling?

4. How do relievers spend all that time together in a confined area and not want to kill each other?

5. Is the chance at making serious $$$ as a catcher worth the pain and injury risks? Do the pitchers get on your nerves when they ask like a million stupid questions?

6. Does it suck being a 'clubhouse leader'? Who would want to take on that role?

7. When they talk about veterans sort of mentoring younger players, are they doing it out of the kindness of their hearts? Why would anyone want to put in that much extra work?

8. Why can't they have facial hair in Pawtucket? What possible difference could it make?

play

No game last night, so I am taking the day off.

Here's the current IL playoff situation:

- Yankees in first (72-51) for the IL North
- Durham Bulls in first for everything, but specifically the IL South (76-47)
- Columbus Clippers (CLE) for the IL West (72-52)

Wild card would currently be the Louisville Bats (69-54)

Lehigh Valley and Rochester have already been eliminated. Rochester, at 47-77, is the worst team in the league. Pawtucket is not going to the playoffs.

Switching gears, Gwinnett's Barbaro Canizares is the league's batting leader (AVG .336).

Durham's Dan Johnson has the biggest, fattest OPS with 1.053. He is running away with that one. Johnson's OBP of .430 also puts him first in the league.

Johnson's number one with home runs as well, with 30. If he was my brother I would probably dump a box of jewelry in front of his bedroom door, so when he wakes up in the middle of the night to go pee, he steps all over piles of pointy metal, earrings and so forth.

Alright, that's enough of that racket. I'm coming up on my five-year anniversary here so I'll have to think of some best/worst lists.

Okay, let's have breakfast!

Buffalo, say do you remember? (PAW v BUF 8/16/10)

5-3 Bisons. Sorry, Tennessee!

Buffalo starter Fernando Nieve got the win. Nieve worked his way into the seventh inning, but Lars Anderson singled with two outs and Yamaico Navarro homered to make the game 4-3. Elusive pitcher Michael O'Connor trotted out from the bullpen and got that last out. Strikeout, Jeremy Hermida!

But now I must reverse gears and hit up Inning Six. Oh, Inning Six... Only you understand me. Fabio Castro was still in there and the score was tied at 1-1. Justin Turner led the inning off with a single and left fielder Lucas Duda hit a home run to right. Hey, isn't that what Pawtucket did in the seventh?

And then, still with no outs, first baseman Nick Evans doubled. Castro got Kirk Nieuwenhuis to strike out, but he walked V. Pascucci. Good night, sweet Fabio. Enter Robert Coello and his gold chains.

Mike Cervenak greeted Coello with an RBI double to left, bringing the score to 4-1. I love Mike Cervenak, but I told you that before.

Coello made for the exits with one out in the ninth and catcher JR House on first. Tommy Hottovy evidently couldn't handle the situation, giving up a couple of singles and throwing a wild pitch and allowing House to score. Wow, this must have been such a great game.

classic clips:
1. Yamaico Navarro, home run number three. Lars Anderson has seven all year. Better watch out!
2. This is Mike Cervenak's third year in the IL. Feels like longer, doesn't it? MC got in a few games with the Phillies in 2008, which means he's got a WS ring. Just like Ricky Gutierrez!
3. Peter Gobis! Gobis explains Nieve's preparation for a Mets call-up.
4.

"[Duda's] easily the most important player for the Herd as they stand on the precipice of the IL Wild Card and with the formerly turbulent relations in Buffalo currently on a good note, is it worth short-circuiting the Bison's late-season run for the playoffs only to sit Duda on the major league bench as Carter's understudy, with FMart already on the 40-man and Bay eventually on the way back, all while the Mets fall out of contention?"

- from Amazin' Avenue
5. Daniel Nava went 0-4 with 2 K's. Dusty Brown went 0-4... of course. Poor kid.
6. Niuman Romero got a hit and a stolen base, and I'd like to take a minute to talk about Romero. I think he's great. I love the way he plays, doesn't try to do too much, but does all the little things right. He bunts! He steals! He doesn't act like a spoiled brat when he strikes out in key situations. Is he exciting? Maybe not to you, but I love him. I like my players solid, ordinary, and sensible. None of this Kolbrin Vitek crap.
7. Romero also has one of the most fancy and lovely autographs I've seen from a PawSox player. It's almost calligraphy.
8. I know lots of Boston fans hate Romero because he's not Kevin Youkilis, but I would hardly call his appearance a 'fiasco'. What the hell did people expect?

Tonight! Nothing. Double header tomorrow, featuring Kris Johnson and Ramon Ramirez. Ugh.

8.15.10 Pawtucket Red Sox v Buffalo Bisons (NYM)

PawSox win 3-1. The one run belongs to Rich Hill, who pitched five innings and got the win. Good work, Rich Hill.

Buffalo starter (who's also a reliever) Raul Valdes wore the L all Laverne-like. Valdes' start was cut off with two outs in the fifth. They brought in a righty, Jose De La Torre, to face Velazquez. Yeah, you can't take any chances with Velazquez. He's such a tough out. And a power threat!

Laugh all you want, but Gil Velazquez hit a two-run homer off De La Torre. And it was his first of the year. HA!

Chad Paronto, Santo Luis, and F. Cabrera stapled down the win for the Red Sox. Hmm. I guess that's it...

freedom:
1. Rich Hill continues to hit people with baseballs: Nick Evans and Val Pascucci both took one in the ribs, figuratively speaking. Could have been a shoulder or thigh.
2. Gil Velazquez and Gustavo Molina were the only Pawtucket kidz to get hits. Molina hit a double in the fifth, scoring Hannahan. How did Hannahan get on base? The world may never know.
3. Val Pascucci hit a solo home run in the fourth. Good to see Pascucci back in the IL. He is interesting to look at... Kind of like a Bugs Bunny gorilla-style baseballer. I love his Japanese theme song.
4. The 'Warning Track Power' blog has a more poetic game summary.
5. Raul Valdez defected from Cuba.

Tonight! Fernando Nieve, Fabio Castro. I'm having second thoughts about the Fabio Castro MVP thing, because Robert Manuel's been so excellent for Pawtucket.

Alright, let's have breakfast!

8.14.10 You should have invited Alejandro Machado, too.

6-4 Red Sox. Robert Manuel gets the win for Pawtucket, pitching three innings (!) in relief. Manuel threw 32 pitches, 23 for strikes. He only gave up one hit. Robert Manuel is only of the only good things about the team. For me. You might be a Daniel Nava fan or something.

Pawtucket starter Adam Mills managed to pitch four innings, giving up four runs on seven hits. Second baseman Justin Turner hit a solo home run off Mills (I really need a more catchy term for a home run that doesn't make me sound like a Stuart Scott wannabe) in the first inning. Mills came back out for the fifth inning but instead of getting any outs, he gave up an RBI double, which tied the game at 4-4.

Pawtucket's big offensive inning was the third, when beloved infielder Niuman Romero led things off with a walk. I love big offensive innings that start with a walk! It really builds suspense. Reddick and Nava followed that up with consecutive singles, scoring Romero and getting the first run.

With runners on first and second, Dustin Pedroia lined a single to pitcher Michael Antonini, who reportedly responded with, "OHHH!" Bases loaded, Carlos Delgado, but don't get too excited, because CD was hit by a pitch, scoring Reddick. Tie game!

Anderson singled and Navarro hit a sac fly to bring the score to 4-2. Then the Adam Mills stuff happened, allowing the Bisons to tie the game, but Pawtucket pulled ahead with a solo home run (Navarro) and an RBI double (Romero). Romero tried to make it a triple, but... no. Bold move, though. I ain't mad.

Relievers on both teams conspired to prevent any further runs from scoring. Fernando Cabrera got the save for the PawSox. Antonini took the loss for Buffalo, giving up all six runs on nine hits in SIX INNINGS.

they called dave berg 'Ice'
1. Dusty Brown did not get a hit last night. He is in a heinous slump, probably an injury thing. Brown is batting .179 in August. He's struck out 11 times in 7 games but hasn't walked once this month. 9-39 in his last ten games. I'm wondering... Should we kill him?
2. Lars Anderson went 2-4. He also made the game ending play, when Turner lined out to him... Jesus Feliciano was off the bases and Anderson did the double-up. Tasty.
3. Prior to Navarro's home run, the Bisons pitchers had not allowed one in 126.2 innings.
4. Justin Turner went 3-4.

Today! Rich Hill, and I approve of making him a starter, since that was his long-time gig in a past life. He'll oppose lefty Raul Valdez, freshly down from New york, so you know he'll be in a good mood!

Have fun, you guys.

8.13.10 Red Sox v Bisons - So this is baseball.

9-4 Mets. Dillon Gee was not at his best but still got the win because Pawtucket is pretty embarrassing right now. Ramon Ramirez again? Come on. Are you guys that paranoid about player development that you can't promote someone in mid-August?

The Red Sox have two starters right now: Kris Johnson and Adam Mills. Vomit. And don't try to front like Fabio Castro's a starter. Where are the 6-8 innings guys like David Pauley and Devern Hansack and Charlie Zink? Instead we get bullpen detritus to pitch maybe four innings, walk half the park, and get relieved by Chad Paronto or Fernando Cabrera or MICHAEL BOWDEN WHO HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WORTH ANYTHING!

Even double-A is more like a real baseball game. This is just pathetic. The bats aren't too thrilling either, but that's a whole other story. The visiting teams are more interesting.

It was really cool to see former Marlins Carlos Delgado and Jeremy Hermida reunited. I will say that Delgado's first at-bat was ugly to look at... Dillon Gee had him totally off-balance.

And then a bases-loaded situation in the seventh would have been a cool spot for Delgado to step up and crank one out and blow off the roof, but he'd been subbed by poor Niuman Romero, who struck out. And then Lars Anderson struck out. And then Yamaico Navarro struck out. Josh Reddick, Jeremy Hermida, and Daniel Nava just stood there on their respective bases, wondering what the hell they were doing in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. No RBIs, guys? Sorry to trouble you by loading the bases with no outs. Must have been that lethal Mike O'Connor/Shawn Green combo.

This game was three and a half hours long and I felt every minute of it. I'm so glad I brought company, otherwise I would have been long gone halfway through. Also, it started getting chilly, which makes perfect sense in mid-August. And you in your autumn sweater...

i just quit rock n roll:
1. Why does Roger Clemens look like Louie Anderson on the cover of the PawSox program?
2. Hey, they mixed up the lucky row of the game! Congratulations, Row EE! Someone must have read my insightful blog post.
3. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but wtf is with Yankees fans who come to a PawSox game and root for the other team because they 'hate the Red Sox'? It's worse when they're loudly cheering and being generally assholish for the entire game. THIS IS NOT THE REAL RED SOX!!!
4. Josh Reddick went 3-5 and is maybe superstitious, since he is still wearing his prostate cancer wrist bands from a couple of weeks ago. DO NOT MESS WITH THE STREAK.
5. Jack Hannahan hits more balls that look like home runs than anyone. Except they're always caught right at the wall.
6. No, I do not know the players' at-bat songs for the most part. Josh Reddick has probably the worst one. It's a really terrible wrestling theme song. Jack Hannahan has an inexplicable River Dance type thing. Also the usual suspects: Next Episode, Kryptonite, Hypnotize, Krypnotize, and an occasional Latin American dance tune. Weak scene.

You know what else bugs me? The players who speak Spanish sit on one side of the dugout, the Anglos sit on the other. Gil Velazquez sometimes bridges the two sides. Pretty depressing to see that.

I'm done with this. See you tomorrow.

That's impossible.

Yesterday, nothing happened. I've never seen you looking so sad, my funky one.

The Iron Pigs/Red Sox game will be made up some time between August 18-21.

Some numbers:
1. WHO leads the team in intentional walks? Bubba Bell, 3.
2. WHICH Pawtucket player has grounded into double plays more than anyone? BATES.
3. WHO leads the team in total bases with 149? Reddick!
4. WHICH player has been hit by pitches more than anyone? Daniel Nava, ten hits, and none of them hurt, bro.
5. WHO leads the team in plate appearances? Aaron Bates by a long shot with 420.
6. HOW many games did Darnell McDonald play before being stolen by the Fat Team? Only 10. And he is never coming back.
7. WHO leads the team in walks with 53? Tug Hulett, deceased.
8. Okay, that wasn't funny. Hulett lost his brother in a car accident 15 years ago. That's really awful.
9. Lowest amount of games played by a non-rehabber: Two, Daniel Butler.
10. Most stolen bases: Ryan Kalish! That's what you wanted me to say, right? But no, it's the Bunting King of Small Ball Niuman Romero with 13!

some people say:
1. Chad Paronto has pitched in more games than anybody. (44)
2. Oldest pitcher to work at McCoy this year? Alan Embree, age 40, pitched in 8 games.
3. Most games started? Tie between Johnson and Mills. (20)
4. Rich Hill's only appeared in 14 games, but he's got more balks than anyone (2) and more hit batters than anyone (6). Geez.
5. Michael Bowden has the most wins, but holy god, it's only 6. Wow, this team really sucks.
6. 13 = Number of home runs given up by Johnson, leading the team.
7. Wild pitch leader: Dustin Richardson with 6. Yeah, Richardson's pretty wild. He rides a motorcycle in the rain.
8. Kris Johnson has pitched 112 innings. Fabio Castro has pitched 76. Castro, however, only has one less walk than Johnson (43 to his 44).
9. Team errors leader: Jorge Jimenez (9).

Tonight! The Buffalo Mets. See you there!

8.11.10 Way harsh, Ty.

Iron Pigs win 5-1. Ty Taubenheim started but did not get the win, as Lehigh Valley didn't break away from the 1-1 tie until the sixth inning. Taubenheim's five innings were peppered with four hits and five walks, but Pawtucket only got one run across. Period.

First inning, Taubenheim loaded the bases with one out. Lars Anderson hit a fly ball to left, scoring Josh Reddick. Left fielder Rich Thompson threw the ball in to the catcher, Sardinha, who then threw over to short in the Daniel Nava area. Nava was out at second when shortstop Brian Bocock threw the ball over to Dorta... I guess you had to see it, but it sounds to me like Nava could have been a better baserunner.

Shane Victorino homered in the third with none of his buddies on base to tie the game 1-1. John Mayberry also hit a solo home run in the sixth to give the Iron Pigs the 2-1 lead.

Tommy Hottovy took over in the seventh inning. Hottovy intentionally walked Brian Bocock to load the bases with one out. He got Rich Thompson to fly out, but Shane Victorino hit a line drive single to right, scoring Dorta and Sardinha. John Mayberry followed with an RBI single of his own, bringing the score to 5-1 and extinguishing all hope for the Red Sox.

two things:
1. Iron Pigs reliever Michael Stutes got the win. Loss went to Johnson.
2. Yamaico Navarro went 0-4.
3. Okay: The win ended a six-game losing streak for Lehigh Valley. And their general manager, Kurt Landes, came up with a promotion called 'Camping for a Victory', which entailed a different staffer every night sleeping out on the field until they won. I can't even imagine this happening at McCoy.
4. And after the game, the players burned the tent. You can see it captured here. Good for them.
5. The Iron Pigs are interactive.
6. Mascots Ferrous and FeFe got makeovers recently.

Tonight! Ramon A. Ramirez v Vance Worley. Then home, playing Buffalo. See you then.