4.16.2015 Pawtucket Red Sox v Rochester Red Wings (MIN) - Wide Open

Pawtucket takes it 8-7 after unlikely hero Bryce Brentz hits a walk-off home run. It's funny, I called his first strikeout but maybe this is a new guy.

I noticed a few changes at McCoy Stadium. Everything costs a little bit more and things are slightly souped up. Crowd was a little heavier on the Chipsters. Worst of all, there are giant fucking timers in the outfield and behind home plate. I really had no opinion about the 20 seconds between pitches but now I'm grossed out.

Things that are the same: Jim Martin was there. The french fries. That dude with the acoustic guitar singing GBA. Quintin Berry. Mostly everything else.

"PawSox > RISox" - a guest post by by Gus L

The MLB is a money game, the A,AA, and AAA are all training grounds and advertisers for the MLB teams they are affiliated with. I get that. I've made my peace with the MLB. Back in 1994 I swore I wouldn't watch or care again. It sounds weird that a 12 year old boy would take that stance, but I did. The only baseball I even cared about for a while was...the Paw Sox. Sure, they were part of the bigger Red Sox team but their location and part in the community are part of what makes them so great. 

Now a new ownership wants to capitalize on an existing fanbase carefully built, cared for BASEBALL fans. The typical PawSox fan is a BASEBALL fan. Not an MLB fan, not a Boston Red Sox fan (obviously most WERE but the point is, any affiliate could be at McCoy and attendance would still be solid) but a fan of THE GAME. This is an important distinction to make because there are plenty of people in pink and green "B" hats who couldn't tell you how a score sheet even works. 

McCoy is an ESSENTIAL part of the lives of both Pawtucket and local baseball fans. Where else can you see a game, get a dog a beer and not go broke? Where else can you casually sit on a left field lawn or where are all the neighborhood families going to meet up on July 4th to watch the fireworks the stadium puts on? Where can a group of kids in Pawtucket with some spending money go watch a game on a summer day if not at McCoy? Taking the Sox out of Pawtucket is going to create a big hole in many hearts of people in the local area. Not to mention the economy of a city that's been on the brink for a while.

Now they are considering a move to Providence. In an area that isn't too residential at the advantage of it's owners. I'm not sure how the fans will benefit from paying for parking, paying more for a ticket, paying more for concessions....time will tell. For now though, it feels like another piece of baseball that has succumb to money.

Goodbye to bringing a family of 4 to a game for a 100 bucks. Goodbye getting the friends together last minute for cheap. Goodbye to neighborhood fireworks. Goodbye to something that made Pawtucket residents proud. Goodbye to McCoy. Goodbye to the PawSox.

Talkin' Baseball

Here's my first guest submission from local curmudgeon Tom Sealey!

"Hey, aren't you Wade Boggs?"

"Goddamn right I am.  Five-time batting champion."

"What are you doing here?"

"Clam cakes, son!  Clam cakes!"

"Oh...  So did you hear the Pawsox are moving to Providence?"

"Bout time.  Pawtucket is a pit.  Ugly as sin. Ugly houses, ugly streets.  Can't walk five feet without stepping on an empty Dunkin Donuts cup. Hell, if Joe Torre were a city, he'd be Pawtucket."

"You think Providence is a better choice?"

"Well, at least in Providence you have a chance of a view.  McCoy stadium, you hit a homerun you get to see sail into a street with triple decker shithouses and a tractor trailer parking lot.  Why do you think I never hit homeruns?  Fuckin' view is pitiful.  Fuck, in Providence, when they light the river on fire at least it's a choice, not like Pawtucket."

"The river in Pawtucket has never caught on fire.  Are sure your aren't thinking of Cleveland?"

"Cleveland, Pawtucket...they're both uglier than Joe Torre's mother's asshole."

"Umm, don't you have any attachment to McCoy Stadium?"

"Attachment?   Do I look like Ken Burns to you?  Nostalgia is for assholes.  McCoy was just a pitstop.  Like Joe Torre when he looks in the mirror.  Wants to get away from it as soon as possible."

"What do have against Joe Torre?  I mean, I might be wrong, but that horse over there looks suspiciously like the police horse you rode after you won the World Series with the Joe Torre coached Yankees."

"You mean Lulu?  Sure is the same horse.  I got nothin' against Torre.  He's just ugly.  Bit of a crybaby too.  Say, do you have any beer or fried chicken?"

"Sorry, no."

"Well, I'm outta here.  Me and Jim Rice are going to TP Buckner's house.  Come on Lulu, lets get a move on."

Noise Nation has strong opinions about team relocation.

My friends over at the award-winning  Noise Nation blog (Lehigh Valley IronPigs coverage, etc) were quick to offer their condolences about the PawSox being tossed in the mud and kicked in the head with an iron boot.

Here's a link to an unfiltered opinion or two. "The Paw Sox have called Pawtucket their home since 1970 and have a long standing and dedicated fan base. Why, why, why would they up and move?"

Thanks for having my back, everyone. Maybe I'll see you this summer.

Shout at the Devil

Remember the Sex Pistols? That was pretty funny.

Because I'm looking for submissions, I was going to tie in some of their lyrics. But they just didn't work, probably because Sex Pistols lyrics are mostly ridiculous.

If you're reading this and you have something to say about the PawSox/Providence ballpark thing, let me know. I'm not grubbing for content, I just want to hear from you and hear what you have to say.

Especially if you're pissed off.

Rational submissions will also be considered.

You can use a fake name if you want.

My email's in my profile. I also use Twitter.

I'm excited to publish my first guest submission tomorrow evening. Then I'll be doing a little fine dining in Woonsocket. I'm sure you'll be able to find me...

I love you. Let's listen to some angry music.

Who is longtime Providence attorney Jim Skeffington?

I mean, who is this guy?

He's 72 years old and lives in Barrington. Wow, he's going to be 80 in 8 years. By the time the ballpark is completed, he'll be like 75.

And Barrington? Small, wealthy town on the bay. I'll bet he's a Rumstick resident. I was once at a supermarket in Barrington and someone had a Rumstick vanity plate. I'll bet it was Skeffington!

From Ted Nesi's article on 2/24: "If the big money is moving, Jim Skeffington will be there,” Providence Journal columnist Peter Phipps remarked in 1995. “It’s his specialty.”

You should really read the entire article.

Also: "He is the godfather of moral obligation bonds."  So I'm now reading about moral obligation bonds, which is fascinating! (NOT.)

Skeffington's probably bros with Jerry Kapstein, right? He's a "special counsel" to the Boston Red Sox.

Okay, I'll be back.

I hate the ProvSox.

So this is enough to wake the dead, evidently. After so many years of rage and delight and boredom and irritation and elucidation IT HAS COME TO THIS.

Does anyone remember my dealbreaker? Lou Scwechheimer does because I told him personally.

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO LOU?!

Can I list the reasons why this is a terrible idea? You know how much I love to do this.

TWO THINGS:

1. Everybody hates this plan. No one is behind it. Everyone is angry. This is a small state and people hold grudges.

2. NO ONE ASKED FOR A NEW BALLPARK. Everyone liked McCoy Stadium. It was perfectly functional and accessible. AFFORDABLE.

EVERYBODY LOVES MCCOY STADIUM.

3. We will all end up paying for a stadium we don't really want. Fact.

4. If you park over by Corliss Point, the odds are good that your car will be broken into. I know people who this has happened to. One night I was walking over to the HC and I passed a string of cars with smashed in windows. It's a problem down there.

5. People who live in Massachusetts will not want to go to Providence. People in Massachusetts can't even be bothered to visit RI already. You know what they think of Providence? That's it a ghetto city with confusing roads and no place to park.

People from Woonsocket or Chepachet or East Providence or Johnston or Cumberland will go to Pawtucket. They will not go to Providence.

I'll be back Thursday. I need to do some research. I should start by looking at the Charlotte Knights' move from Fort Mill, SC, to Charlotte.

I hope Lucchino's prepared to deal with Rhode Island officials. This state is not known for its smooth approach to new business.

Jeff Levering's moving to Wisconsin.

I'll miss him in Pawtucket, but he'll still be in my imagination... MMMMM.

away from me and toward everyone else, which I hate

This is not good news. Or is it the best news?

I think Boston buying Pawtucket would kill me and maybe kill McCoy Stadium, which is part of me as much as concrete and steel can be part of blood, tissue, and hair. And cartilage. And stomach lining. And ear wax, whatever the hell that is.

And then what's going to happen to Tamburro and Schwechheimer?

I feel like step one of Corporate Takeover is EVERYTHING IS GOING TO COST MORE.

And... Hey, do you remember what my tipping point is? The one thing I said would make me turn my back on Pawtucket forever? DO YOU RECALL THAT SIMPLE SYMBOLIC THING?

The french fries. Change the french fries and I will burn it down to a cinder.

I'll be back later. I have a lot more to say but today I cannot.

je suis desolee

It's hard to find in a bleak, zig-zag city like Woonsocket, but there's a sand-colored church on a hill on a one-way street that has an unrealistic view of everything. You can see Providence and the bay and the slow, white sailboats like the ones on the quarter.

You have to be careful where you park because the priest keeps close watch. Next to the church is an old building with a bad steel bridge behind it. I would not recommend driving over it.

Nearby the mill houses are empty and blackened. The factory is no longer in use, but the bitter smell is still there. Like welded metal. It was a toxic avenue that they really would like everyone to stay away from. I did not think people died in those houses, but in the 60's there was some kind of chemical incident in the big brick factory, one of those old employers that kept families fed.

On sunny days on the weekend, families come over from Massachusetts (Blackstone, Millville, Uxbridge, Bellingham) to see the view, which dazzles, and the modern ruins. It hurts and it draws you in. You can't conceive of it. You can't even photograph the story. Well, I can't. Maybe you can.

In the days of ironworking and textile weaving and lunchpails and overalls, the men played 19th century baseball. Mill versus mill in Woonsocket, giving birth to people like Nap Lajoie. The Comets played at Island Park. It's the projects now, where telephone poles break and wires dangle by metal siding and the repairs are not a priority, because it's the projects.

Sleek, smart people don't like going to Woonsocket, a perfect example of entropy. I can see it fraying and fading and one day it will break apart from everyone, an ice floe, and drift north until it melts away entirely. Do you know who will be carried away?

No, you don't, because you've forgotten them already.

let's go

Today I'm going to CT, even though Connecticut is a terrible black hole.

you poked my heart

Please try to be a better bartender, asshole.

I forgot how to walk

I took a good, long look at Madison Bumgarner and didn't feel much.

I did enjoy the KC center fielder.

Why don't they let African-Americans play baseball any more?

A Few Lines from "Infinite Jest"

"'The girl's name's Tina something and she'll come up to about your knee.'

'Echt,' Avril said, looking at something on a printout.

Hal looked at her while she chewed. 'You don't like her already?'

'Tina Echt, Pawtucket. Father apparently some sort of unleavened baker, mother a public relations person for the Red Sox A.A.A. baseball there.'

Hal had to wipe his chin as he smiled. 'Triple-A. Not A.A.A.'"

(related: Squiggy Story)

Maybe I've forgotten...

Pawtucket reaches championship, is rained on and dies.

Metaphor.

Annual Septemberish melancholy. And nostalgia! Nostalgiacholy? I should have. I should have been there.

Doesn't the baseball season poke its finger into October? I remember Camden Yards in October! No October games this year? What am I going to do?

What I am going to do is go to Fenway next week in mittens for a PBE and hope it soothes me. I suspect it won't be too hard to find tix. I will trade this ugly framed picture of an owl for Red Sox tickets:

Yes, that is my ugly wallpaper from 1963. And technically that picture isn't mine. My landlord hung it in my stairwell. He is now deceased so I suppose I inherited it.

If I don't get tickets for it I will dissemble the picture on live television to reveal what is probably wads of cash hidden in the frame.

Ha, ha.

PAWSOX I WAS ONLY KIDDING!! I LOVE YOU PLEASE COME BACK!

Devern Hansack is my neighbor.

Devern Hansack pitched for the Pawtucket Red Sox in 2007 and 2008. He was my Favourite. And then he disappeared. I assumed he'd returned to his little seaside town in Nicaragua and fired up his lobstering vessel and lived out the rest of his days basking in the sun, growing old and weathered and perhaps working on his memoirs.

WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG! I set up an alert a long time ago, so if Hansack somehow popped up on the internet, I'd get an email. And then nothing more. Years passed.

SUDDENLY! The maid screamed. In my box, a message. And this! Hansack throws out the first pitch at a Sea Dogs game! He looks incredible! And guess what? He's been living in MAINE this whole time! ALL THIS TIME! And I've been to Maine here and there... I'm flabbergasted. Me and Devern could have been kickin it and smokin blunts all summer long. I'll bet he has a deck.

I surmised that Hansack had met a local lady while he was on the Sea Dogs and that he'd wifed up and decided to live the rest of his days in Vacationland. I was right, of course. Further investigation revealed that Hansack was hired by U Maine Farmington as their pitching coach about a year ago.

I'm inordinately amped by all of this. YEAH 39!!!

Let's take a look back at all the witty, incisive stuff I said about DBH:

1. Did Devern Hansack intentionally peg Mariano Rivera with a baseball at Fenway? Eric Gagne says so. And Eric Gagne never lies. Does anyone remember this story? How fucking old am I, anyway?
Eric Gagne, LOL.

Maybe some pictures instead?

might

I might go to the PawSox game on Labor Day.

I still love you.

6.3.2014 Pawtucket @ Durham - Catcher Interference

Durham Bulls win, 5-2, and they are the AAA affiliate of Tampa Bay. Bulls reliever Adam Liberatore gets the win, even though I think he's related to an umpire? Loss goes to lefty starter for the Red Sox Chris Hernandez.

Hernandez pitched 5 1/3 innings, gave up five runs on four hits. Only two runs were earned, though, because Garin Cecchini made an error that maybe cost Pawtucket the game.

Nate Karns started for Durham. Karns pitched five innings and gave up a run. That was when Pawtucket tied the game. The thing that happened was that Corey Brown hit a solo home run. I may have mentioned that before. And then Hernandez was 1-2-3 at the bottom of the fifth.

So, what the fuck happened? Shut up for a second and I'll tell you. First of all, minor league games tied at 1-1 in the fifth seldom remain that way. Dewon Brazelton and Jeff Suppan were not on the mound, okay? Sixth inning, Christian Vazquez and Travis Shaw hit back-to-back singles to get things heated up for Pawtucket. Vazquez scored on a groundout, and the Red Sox pulled ahead 2-1.

Bottom of the sixth, Hernandez led the inning off by hitting Robby Price with a pitch. Robby Price parks like an asshole, so he probably deserved it. SS Hak-Ju Lee followed with a line drive single. And then RAY FREAKING OLMEDO sac bunted. And he reached!

Bases loaded, no outs for a possibly sweat-drenched Hernandez. I'm just saying, it was 84 degrees at game time. RF Justin Christian reached on a force attempt, boner by Cecchini, Price scores. Center fielder Mikie Mahtook hit a fly ball to right, caught by Brown, Lee tags and scores.

PITCHING CHANGE! Chris Resop gets in the ring to face Jayson Nix. Christian steals second, Nix sac flies, Olmedo scores. Then jerkface Cole Figueroa hit an RBI double. The fans must have been eating this up.

Resop finally got the last out, but Pawtucket was unable to do anything with CJ Riefenhauser or Kirby Yates. DAT NINTH INNING THO. The bases were loaded with only one out, partially due to a catcher interference thing. Wish I could have seen it. But Yates got Betts and Cecchini out to end the game.

Oh yeah Mookie Betts is on the PawSox now so adjust your confetti output accordingly.

two things:
1. Ray Olmedo! Olmedo has spent more than TEN YEARS in the International League. That has to be some kind of record. I'll bet he knows all the Fort Mill hotspots. I wonder if he still talks to Yurendell de Caster?

2. "The hottest pitcher in the Rays organization right now just might be Nate Karns. He entered his outing against Pawtucket with a 1.39 ERA in his previous five starts, striking out 31 while walking just 12 in 32.1 innings pitched." - Robbie Knopf, Rays Colored Glasses. That's right, his hands are never cold.

3. Jeremy Kehrt pitched, so his mom is probably pretty excited about that.

4. Kirby Yates was the 2013 minor league pitcher of the year for TB. I'm not capitalizing that.

5. Here's Rick Medeiros. I like his blog. I realize that now you won't think I'm cool.

TONIGHT! Probably the Babyfaced Killer. Chad Gaudin goes for the Bulls.

(hahaha)

you'll never deserve my good good words

It's become very popular lately to talk about how out of date professional baseball is. Is everyone on board with this? Baseball is boring and has ludicrous social regulations and etiquette constraints? And things ARE BECOMING FAR WORSE IN THESE BIG-LEAGUE END TIMES?

I generally agree that yes, baseball mysteriously adheres to Civil War-era customs and habits. So? It's been like that for a while now. It's stupid and stuffy, but whatever.

The thing that I feel most weird about is lately I'm wondering who I'm rooting for. The players? Not really. They're a group of dudes I imagine I'd have absolutely nothing in common with. To put it another way: They seem to be largely a right-wing, buck-huntin', god-fearing and shit-kicking bunch of assholes. I'm talking about all the country music kidz from Texas and the Carolinas or wherever the fuck they're churning out these American jocks from.

Yes, but what about the gentlemen whose names end in Z's and O's? I don't know, who did they vote for?  They're not allowed to sit with Brant Cody, Wade Hawkwire, and Connor Jawcrack, durn it. Just look into any baseball dugout; it's like a junior-high English class in Boston.

Not the players, then. Am I rooting for the team? Twenty-five bros who are mostly Not Very Nice to ladies and drive big-dick statusmobiles magically become relatable in a group?  Or is it the miasma of sweat and self-importance a band of meatheads emits? Is "team" a physical object, or just an abstract concept, like "contentment"? I AM TEAM. TEAM IS ALL OF US.

Monday in Norfolk on the water, very free. (Tides/PawSox 6.2.2014)

Norfolk is wonderful and you can, too! Tides take it 3-1. The Tides are the Orioles, if anything just in case, modefoque. And Pawtucket LF Carlos Rivero probably lost the game single-handedly.

Wow, I wish I were back down there... Watching the ships roll in. Chilling with Rocky Cherry and Jose Vaquedano and Travis... Travis... I'm blanking. The skater second baseman. Starts with D. Ferrying over to Portsmouth. And NAUTICUS! I threw blueberry fig bars into the water for the fish. I slept on the airport floor in DC. Well, "slept". I may have partied in a limousine with Ludacris and some roller in a white fur coat.

Nice ballpark, also.

Starting pitcher for the Red Sox was Mean Ol' Matt Barnes. Barnes pitched six innings, gave up three runs (one was unearned) on eight hits. Barnes K'd six and didn't walk anybody.

DENKER!!!!!

Eddie Gamboa pitched five innings and struck out seven PawSox guys, probably because Gamboa's a knuckleball guy. They got one run off Gamboa, but then Kelvin De La Cruz, Tim Alderson, and Evan Meek shut that shit down. Evan Meek, how'd you get in here?

So who wants to talk about the Pawtucket Red Sox generating a run in lovely, seaside weather while I'm toiling up here with no vacation in sight? Oh, me, absolutely. First inning, Corey Brown singles with one out. Brown stole second and made it to third on a passed ball, so that was helpful. Corey Brown would be a lot cuter if he wore glasses and read hardcover books. As it stands, he'll have to be cute enough running home on a sac fly. 1-0 'tuckets.

The Norfolk Tides scored three runs, then Tommy Layne came into the picture. Layne pitched the final two innings and allowed zero runs, but it didn't matter because the PawSox were not Coffee Achievers. And Chris Carter wasn't walking through that door. Furthermore, Carlos Rivero thrice appeared at the plate with two outs/RISP and could not deliver. NOT GREAT, BOB.

Christian Vazquez doubled in the sixth inning. That was as exciting as it got.

two things:
1. Is Tides infielder Buck Britton Drake's brother or something? Did the Brittons name all their kids after animals you blast shotguns at? Do they have a daughter named Grisleigh?

2. Gamboa's a knuckleballer: "Norfolk Tides pitching coach Mike Griffin says Eddie is on the right track. “He’s commanding the knuckleball better than he did at any point and time last year and that’s a major step forward and when you can command the knuckle ball a little bit, your on the right track.” says Griffin." - Norfolk Tides pitching coach Mike Griffin says Eddie is on the right track. “He’s commanding the knuckleball better than he did at any point and time last year and that’s a major step forward and when you can command the knuckle ball a little bit, your on the right track.” says Griffin." - Chris Reckling

3. Holy fuck, if Johan Santana ever came to McCoy Stadium I would lose my mind: "Johnson [That's RJ to you, Flapjack.] said that could line Santana up to pitch for the Tides at home on Monday or Tuesday. On Monday, Santana was put on the club’s 40-man roster and disabled list."  - Excellent game story from David Hall.

TONIGHT. Chris Hernandez will be in Durham, being disrespectful to Nate Karns. Please turn to page Watching Durham Bulls Baseball for all your Durham Bulls needs.