I am not one to purposefully hurt someone. Not even a little. Especially since becoming a mother, I have this extreme desire to love. EVERYONE. No matter what. But in the past few months, I have done little but be offended by others. Why do I let others' actions hurt me so much? Is it because my expectation of them is to treat me and my beliefs, choices, and desires with love like I want to do to them? Probably. Why should I expect that of these people? Of this world?
I will tell you why, my friends. It all comes back to the golden rule. You know, treat others like you want to be treated. How do I want to be treated? WITH RESPECT AND LOVE. That's how. Do I have a fancy house? No. Do I wear expensive clothing? Or eat out every night? Absolutely not. Do I live my life the way I feel is best for my family? Yes. I sincerely do. I believe I respect people-whatever their agenda and beliefs. Why can't they do the same?
What I don't do is forgive others. Now, that's for sure. I look at people with envy and anger. "Why can't that be us?" "It's not fair." Those are frequent thoughts lately. How do you get over this grudging period of life? Stuck in the rut of school, work, and parenting a 15 month old. People pretend it's all "peachy," but this stage is tough stuff, guys. I don't like that I am feeling this great detestation with people. I've thought about just deleting them from my life, but I realized I can't do that. Not really. (Thanks social media for ruining lives one step at a time.) So, how on earth do I forgive them and just move on in happiness?
I am a mom to one very, VERY busy little dude. He is getting into everything at our house. He enters one room clean, and he leaves it a disaster area. He has a major obsession with the garbage can lately. SO gross. SO frustrating. The other day the dishes were over flowing in my sink like the usually do (no dishwasher, you know), so I got Noah a treat, sippy cup, and a few toys to keep him occupied while I hurried to get at least half of the dishes done. I get into the grove of scrubbing them when, not to my surprise, Noah is grabbing trash out of the garbage. I tell him, "no, no" in the calm mommy voice. That's once. He walks away, then I see it. The grin on his little, devious face says the million words he can't yet verbally say. "I'm going to push her limits today." He goes back to the garbage can and grabs even more trash out. This time I take off the hot pink gloves I use to take him away from the can. I give him a book because I'm just so close to finishing the dishes. "I need just a few more minutes, buddy," I tell him. I get going again. Two minutes later, he's in the trash AGAIN. Now, I'm just mad. I yelled, "NO NOAH!" It was apparently pretty scary because he winced and started crying. Of course, in the moment, I didn't feel too bad for yelling because I really wanted to get these dishes done.
Hindsight shows a handful of lessons I learned from this. People get so focused on their lives, their issues, their dishes that others' feelings are NOT the first thing on their minds. I now know Noah was just playing. He wasn't meaning to make me mad. Lesson learned: I am being a lot more selfish that I suspected. Rather than thinking "Why can't that be us?" and being offended by what I don't have, I should be thinking "I'm so grateful for my hard working husband."
After finishing the dishes, I hugged my son and told him "We don't play in the trash. Mommy's sorry for yelling at you." The weirdest phenomenon happened. It was like that entire scene in Noah's life was deleted. Did he hold a grudge because I yelled at him? Heavens NO! He forgave me BEFORE I even apologized. He loves me so much that even though in a millisecond of time he was upset with me, the next millisecond he loved me again. I need to be like that, like a little child. They love so freely, so openly, so PERFECTLY. I understand why we are told to "becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." (Mosiah 3:19) They are perfect examples of humility.
That is how I should be treated. That is how I need to forgive. That is how I need to LOVE.