It's Not Cute When A Kid Can't Spell!

I have a bunch of ideas for future blogs but so far, they remain just ideas.  I get some inspiration from this guy, though. Enjoy.  I'll be back with new blogs...eventually.

A Gratuitous Look At The McCartney Concert

I finally got to see Paul McCartney in concert last Saturday.  He's one of those guys I've always wanted to see live and I thought I'd never have the chance.  Then he started touring constantly so it became a little easier.  It's been awhile since my last concert.  A combination of poor selections and super high prices have kept me away.  Plus, I'm cheap. 

Sir Paul was once known as the "cute Beatle."  At 69, he still looks pretty good.  He's definitely not the punctual Beatle, seeing that the concert started a half hour late.  Of course I would complain about that.  I'm old.  Unlike a Billy Joel or Bruce Springsteen concert where you see people of all ages, this wasn't the case at Yankee Stadium.  There were lots of people older than me, including the couple in the next row having a hard time finding the beat.

Paul McCartney before it got
too dark to take pictures.

I've also learned that the iPhone 3GS, while being a wonderful piece of technology, sucks at capturing concert footage.

"Magical Mystery Tour" kicked off almost three solid hours of one of the best concerts I've ever heard.  And I saw Chicago in 1985!  For the most part, between-songs banter was kept to a minimum.  There was a bit of a rant about the digital boards where lyrics and other dialogue appeared.  The spelling was pretty poor.  During "Hey Jude," the genius running the board spelled it, "Hey Jewed."  Seriously.

Use your imagination.  It's McCartney
wearing white.  So much for
decent pictures.

Set List

• Magical Mystery Tour
• Jet
• All My Loving
• Junior’s Farm
• Drive My Car
• Sing The Changes (I admit I had to look up this one.  The Fireman?  Huh?)
• The Night Before
• Let Me Roll It
• Paperback Writer

(Paul moved up to the piano, which opened up a whole new list of song possibilities)

• The Long and Winding Road
• Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five (I had to look up this one, too.  I'd heard it before.  I just never knew what it was called.)
• Let ‘Em In (These lyrics were odd in the 70s.  The band must know this because they were chuckling--even Paul.)
• Maybe I’m Amazed

(Back to the guitar/bass)

• I’m Looking Through You
• I Will
• Blackbird
• Here Today (It sounded vaguely familiar.  It was written for John Lennon, which makes Ringo the only Beatle who didn't do a song for John.  George did "All Those Years Ago."  What did Ringo do?)
• Dance Tonight (The drummer was fantastic.  One of those large guys with a ridiculous amount of energy doing an interesting dance routine.)
• Mrs. Vanderbilt (Never heard of it.)
• Eleanor Rigby
• Something (Paul said some nice things about George Harrison, then proceeded to sing one of his songs.  On ukelele of all things.)
• Band On The Run
• Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da
• Back in the USSR
• I’ve Got A Feeling (Every concert has that one song where everyone decides to go to the bathroom.  This was it.)
• A Day In The Life/Give Peace A Chance

(Back up to the piano.)

• Let It Be
• Live and Let Die (Not a song for the epileptics in the crowd.  The video guy had some fun with this one.)
• Hey Jude

(First encore)

• Lady Madonna
• I Saw Her Standing There (Billy Joel came out for this.  The crowd went nuts.  Then as quickly as it began, the song ended and Billy left.  Seems like a long drive to play one song.)
• Get Back

I'm pretty sure this is Billy Joel.

(Second encore)

• Yesterday
• Helter Skelter (Really?  Helter Skelter?  Well it was another chance for the video guy to go nuts.)
• Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End

What a perfect way to end the show.  Someone asked if there was going to be a third encore.  After "The End?"  It's called "The End!"  What comes after "The End?"

Paul McCartney at Yankee Stadium.  Great show.  Dumb fans.

(The video quality sucks.  But you can hear the music so check it out if you're so inclined.)

A Day In The Life...Paul's part

Hey Jude. I didn't count the "na na na"s this time.

Let It Be

Live and Let Die.  I never thought I'd see pyrotechnics at a Paul McCartney concert. 

I Kill Me

"Everyone knows that comedy
is the lowest form of entertainment."

Another unforseen wrinkle in my world of unemployment is the loss of my audience.  I used to work with people who found me at least mildly amusing so I could rely on a good laugh at one of my "jokes."  Maybe a guffaw at the very least.  Fortunately, I still have one built-in audience who will laugh at pretty much everything I say.

My kids.

But knowing they'll laugh at everything means I need to be more selective in what I say.  Case in point: we have the Optimum feature where caller ID appears on the TV screen.  It's very handy and allows me to decrease the amount of movement I do on a daily basis.  I was watching TV with my kids the other day (something educational, naturally) when an insurance agent called.  I was waiting for this gentleman to call me with some quotes.  Unfortunately his name is Arthur Weiner or, as it appeared on the TV screen, A. Weiner.  So naturally, I said the first thing that popped into my head: "Hey look!  A Weiner is calling us!"

First of all, you gotta admit that's pretty funny.  Immature, but funny.  We got a laugh out of it and moved on with our lives.  That is, until the next time he called and my daughter ran through the house yelling, "hey dad!  Theres a weiner on the phone!"  It would have been funnier if I wasn't on the phone with him already.

I'll have to start saving my blue material for the later show.

A Post About Punctuation!!

Aimee Lee Ball wrote a great column in last Sunday's New York Times discussing how e-mail has changed the way we communicate with each other.  It's not the first column to do this, but this one talked about the use of the dreaded exclamation point.  As far back as 1895, Mark Twain chastised any writer who used them and stated that their use "...is very depressing, and makes one want to renounce joking and lead a better life."

Ouch.

While I've never been a fan of the exclamation point, I don't have the same vitriol for it that Twain, or even an insane creative director of mine, had.  I had worked on a print ad for Panasonic many years ago and the headline used an exclamation point.  It was cheesy but intentionally so.  Anyway, I got called on the carpet by this guy.  I thought it was a joke but apparently, he had spent years trying to get this client to get away from exclamation points and I undid all of his hard work.  Ahh, advertising.

My problem with the exclamation point is the false enthusiasm it evokes.  I'm not a cheery guy.  I hate the cheeriness that it might force from the person reading anything I've written.  My hope is that if I do use it, it'll be obvious to everyone that I'm being sarcastic or intentionally goofy.  So I did an unofficial† survey: I asked people what punctuation mark I remind them of.  (†=completely made up)

Nothing To See Here!

Another holiday is upon us and that means fun, sun, bugs, BBQ and, for many of us, traffic.  Being in the New York area, I've experienced many traffic jams.  They come in all shapes and sizes but they all have one thing in common.

Morons.

Speed trap moron. Fig. 1

• Construction?  Usually morons who wait to merge until he last second.
• The "Exit Only" lane?  Morons who can't tell where the arrow is pointing. 
• Speed trap? Morons who drive 80 mph and then slow to 55 when they see a cop.
• Accidents?  Morons who just gotta get a good look.

The last group of morons even have their own name: "rubberneckers."  There's nothing quite as breathtaking as inching along a highway at less than 2 mph, only to find that you can reach highway speed immediately after the people in front of you get their good look at the crash.

I have a solution.  What if emergency crews or highway patrol cops had some of these temporary walls with them?  They could set them up around the crash and then there'd be nothing for us to see.

For more decorative accident sites.

Nah, it'll never happen.

So as you sally forth into your weekend, here are some random car accident images I pulled from Google Images.  Look at them and then keep moving forward.  There's really nothing to see here.

Well, I'd stop for this.  There's definitely something to see here.